Cast: Steve Frost, Colin Mochrie, Brad Sherwood, Ryan Stiles, and Clive Anderson

Clive's show intro:
I don't normally mention Clive's intro. But I found this one amusing. So did the players. Clive introduced everyone with a running gag of being some sort of half animal — like half man, half pit-bull. (For some reason, Colin was made of up three animals' halves!) When he got to Ryan (who was wearing a very orange shirt), Ryan was half TV star, half giraffe. This might have been the first time that Ryan was compared to a giraffe. Even if it wasn't, Ryan was very surprised and amused by the comparison. Clive has zinged Ryan about his height many times, but this time really got to Ryan.

Film and Theater Styles: Ryan has flown from another galaxy to tell Colin that he is the only one who can save the planet Earth [styles = Playboy Channel, religious epic, kung fu, speed, Playboy Channel]
Ryan begins by ringing Colin's doorbell and speaking in this odd squeaky nasal voice. He tells Colin that Colin is the only one to save the planet. And Colin asks, "How?" Ryan's response, "Oh, I didn't ask about that!" I liked that. Clive buzzed in with the Playboy Channel. So Ryan goes into a photographer bit and Colin starts posing and rubbing himself. Ryan's taking photos and reaches over and pinches Colin's nipples — which Colin was NOT expecting. Clive buzzes in, and the guys freeze. Even though they're supposed to be frozen, Colin is looking at Ryan and shaking his head. Ryan starts to laugh a little, kinda embarrassed at Colin's reaction. Then Clive announces religious epic. Ryan starts up by saying something about how Colin's nipples will inform the people of the danger. (Or something like that.) Then Ryan and Colin will use Colin's nipples to lay down the laws. Colin will broadcast the laws as if he were a hi-fi. Clive buzzes again, and the guys freeze. But Ryan is looking at Colin with this very puzzled expression on his face and a half smile grows as he tries to figure out where Colin is going with the hi-fi idea. The next style was kung fu but was standard WLiiA Japanese until the end when Colin ripped out Ryan's heart who starts sewing up his chest. Clive buzzes in with Speed. And Ryan tells Colin that he has to keep the heart beating at a rate of 50 beats per second or it'll explode! Colin's responds with "Well, you'd better take the heart because my hand is cramping!" I don't think Colin was acting there because he had been pumping his hand the entire time! When Clive buzzed in with the Playboy Channel again. Ryan put the pumping heart against Colin's chest who was totally turned on by the experience. Which is a really disturbing thought if you think about. So I recommend you don't. I liked this game especially the first two styles. Or perhaps I should say, I liked watching Ryan and Colin's expressions while they were frozen between styles! (One final note: while Clive was asking for the styles, the camera panned the audience as usual. There was a woman in the audience wearing a wide-brimmed hat! Very bizarre!)

Interrogation: Ryan mooned the Queen; Ryan = criminal; Steve and Brad = cops interrogating him
This is the only time this game has been played in the WLiiA history. I'm not sure why; I liked it. It's a guessing game like Press Conference where Steve and Brad knew what Ryan's crime was and Ryan had to guess what he'd done. Ryan's crime was that "He Mooned at the Queen" — note the Briticism there. I actually liked this better than Press Conference because it was more dynamic than Press Conference is. The guys were acting and creating a scene as opposed to simply doing a Question and Answer session. Brad started off by telling Ryan that he wanted Ryan to "sing" about his crime and Steve chimed in using the same phrase. Now, Brad meant "sing" in its slang sense. But Ryan thought it was a clue and started saying that he didn't just sing for anyone. But Steve and Brad got Ryan back on track by mentioning that this crime "eclipsed" all his previous crimes and that he was way out in outer space this time. Ryan came back with "Hey, so what if I like to show people things." and "It's not the first time they seen a pearly white butt like mine." So next Steve and Brad started hinting about who "they" were. "Your problem is you don't respect them. But lots of people in this country respect them. A lot of people look up to her. You got to look up to her because she's always standing on that balcony, see?" Now, confess! Ryan admitted that he showed his pearly white butt to ......... "first to Cylla Black". (I think Ryan was stalling a little there to buy himself more thinking time.) "Well, she might be your royalty, but she's not mine!" I really think that Ryan wasn't totally certain about the Queen because he looked very pleased when the audience started applauding his line. I haven't mentioned the best line in the sketch, though. As all TV fans know, every TV police interrogation room has a one-way mirror in it. So near the beginning, Ryan turns around, points to the back of the stage, and says "And don't think I can't see the man behind the mirror there!" And from his chair in the dark, Colin yells back, "I told you, you should have put the glass in the other way!" and starts smoking a cigarette! Colin wasn't supposed to be a part of the game, but he was paying attention and dropped in the best line anyway! At the end, Ryan announces "I can still see you!" So, Colin starts pumping his fists as if he's going to fight.

Sit, Stand, Bend: Ryan, Colin, and Brad = 1940s gangsters blowing a safe while the cops are closing in
Don't ask me why, but I've always preferred Sit, Stand, Lie to Sit, Stand, Bend. I've always thought the bending over looked stranger than the lying down. (Okay, so I've got some issues of my own to work out; I suppose.) Anyway, Sit, Stand, Bend has always been Ryan's game to command. And this was no exception. Brad started by trying to open the safe. The three were arguing over who should open the safe when Ryan reached over and pulled the handle. Seemed the safe was unlocked all along. Instead of money, they found something more valuable — deeds. Then Colin promptly betrayed the other two, pulled out a gun, and started ordering Ryan and Brad to stand, bend, stand, bend. Then Ryan brought out his gun and he started bending, standing, bending, standing; all to the lines "Didn't ya'? Didn't ya?" Which, of course, forced Colin to stand, bend, stand, bend so the two of them were bobbing up and down like those glass barometer birds up and down, up and down. Finally, Brad brought out his two guns and the scene ended. A couple of comments, all three were talking in this weird NY gangster accents. Brad's sounded suspiciously like his Regis Philbin imitation. (Since this show predates Millionaire, I'd say that Brad's Regis came from this accent.) As Clive rightly pointed out, none of the guys worked into the scene the fact that the cops were closing in. And finally, although they all talked about "blowing" the safe. They were actually trying to "crack" the safe. Because they kept trying to hear the tumblers click so that they could figure out the combination! (All right, so I've watched too many bad gangster films.)

World's Worst: self-improvement video; all four
Lots of running jokes here. Colin started a running joke about "You can improve your memory in only 15 minutes with this book." which he repeated twice. And then he brought it back after a break. But I think he needs to read the book himself because he switched the words around, "You can improve your memory with this book in only 15 minutes." Ryan was really into singing through his buttocks during this show. (I thought I was watching Jim Carrey there for a few moments!) I think he played that gag three times. And kept on going after Clive buzzed him out. In fact, once he glanced at Clive and then made CERTAIN that Clive had a full view. Clive ended up by using two buzzers to get Ryan to stop. Oh, one more thing — Colin pulled out a needle and started sewing on some hair!

Props: Steve and Colin = 2 replacement pads for a professional floor waxer; Ryan and Brad = 2 large orange inflatable pillow thingies
Steve and Colin had the best jokes here. Steve used the pads like halos and while Colin did an excellent Renaissance Virgin Mary pose. Colin had two good gags. He used one of the pads as a large saw and in his best Bloefeld voice, said "You don't have much time Mr. Bond". Later, he held the pads beside his head and announced, "When I am King...".

Number of Words: Brad = madam of a brothel in the Deep South; Colin = one of the girls; Steve = customer who's also the mayor; Ryan = cop raiding the place
The cut game. Number of words isn't the greatest WLiiA game, but I've usually enjoyed it. I think I would have traded props for the chance to see this.

Foreign Film Dub: Colin (translated by Steve) and Brad (translated by Ryan) act the "Return of the Bald Weasels" in Rumanian
A strange one this. Somehow, I'm not sure how though, Ryan translating for Brad managed to get Colin to put on a fish suit! So Colin was wobbling around like a penguin there for a while. Steve came to Colin's defense by making Brad put on a maggot suit although Brad didn't respond quite as wholeheartedly as Colin did. Don't ask me why the weasels were bald or why they were coming back or what happened when they came back. The guys didn't really bother too much with the title. It was mostly about Ryan and Steve and what strange things could they do to Colin and Brad — who were definitely the innocent victims in this game!

Greatest Hits: Songs of the Locker Room; Ryan and Colin sell; Brad sings
I sure hope that Brad's fans got to see this game. Especially his disco hip moves. That boy can swivel! The songs weren't too memorable except for the fact that Brad seemed to be in a crude mood. Each song (French love ballad, Disco, and German folk song) contain at least one vulgar line. And the folk song about the lederhose would have given the ABC censors heartburn. Ryan and Colin's song intros weren't their best. Although, Colin did get Ryan laughing with his disco song title, "I Call It Football; You Call It Soccer. What the hell?" (Question for my Canadian friends — which is it called in Canada?) I'm not sure why Ryan laughed at that, but he did. During the disco song, Brad makes an Ooo Ooo sound twice. The second time, we saw Ryan and Colin repeat the sound. But did anyone notice that they also repeated Brad after the first time? We just didn't get to see them sing it.

Credits: Colin and Brad = plastic surgeons discussing their patients
Most of the time, Colin and Brad talked about how they were going to cut off a letter from the staff member's name. But at the beginning, Colin announces that they have to take off Ryan Stiles legs because "he's way too tall." I laughed at that one.

Best Game:
Film and Theater Styles. Watching Ryan and Colin react to each other was fun.

Overall comments:
I'm not sure why Interrogation wasn't ever played again. I thought it worked. Worked better than Press Conference as I've said. But I don't always understand Dan Patterson and company's logic, anyway. Overall, the episode wasn't a classic. But it had its moments. I'll include it in my own personal marathon. But I wouldn't put it on my highlights shelf.

© LKK 09/24/00