Cast: Wayne Brady, Chip Esten, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles, and Drew Carey

Superheroes: crisis = no more Rogaine; Colin = Captain Hair; Ryan = Totally Insane Old Man; Chip = the Chippendale Kid; Wayne = Captain Frat Boy
Drew: "I love it when the audience comes and they're all prepared". I don't know if the man who suggested Captain Hair had prepared that name before the game, but points to him for coming up with one of the most endurable Superheroes names in WLiiA history. Points also to the quick-thinking woman who came up with the crisis — so appropriate for our hero. And while I'm giving out points, points to Colin for his perfect display of anger at the superhero suggestion. Finally, points to Ryan for jumping in to hold Colin back and calm him down. A lot of points earned there, and the game hasn't even begun!

Colin begins the game by brushing his hair only to have a handful come out afterwards. Checking his medicine cabinet, Colin discovers all the Rogaine is gone, lifts up his long bangs, and sends out a head beam, hoping his super friends will answer the call. And they do. In comes the Totally Insane Old Man, blinded by the beam. With no knowledge of what Rogaine is, the Totally Insane Old Man and his walker aren't going to be much help. Fortunately, the Chippendale Kid joins in, strips, and starts dancing (almost missing the money that the Totally Insane Old Man puts in his waistband as payment). I say, "fortunately", perhaps I should have said "unfortunately" since the Chippendale Kid seems to be part of the problem and not the solution as he used all the Rogaine on his chest. Annoyed, Captain Hair shaves the Kid's chest and makes a toupee out of it. Last but not least, Captain Frat Boy joins the fray. Hooting and high-fiving everyone (especially the Totally Insane Old Man whom he knocks over) Captain Frat Boy has a solution to the crisis — let the beer from the six pack ferment and the hair will start to grow again. (Points to Wayne for a creative and amusing solution for a change.) With the crisis averted, the heroes take their leave. The Chippendale Kid expects his $2.00 cover charge and won't leave without it. Totally Insane Old Man is going to buy some green bananas because by the time he gets home using that walker they'll be ripe. And as for Captain Hair — he's going to find the guy who made the suggestion.

After the game, you can tell that Colin knows he's been saddled with a nickname that will last too far beyond the game itself as he nods sadly and knowingly to Drew's comment, "that's what I'm going to call you from now on." Oh, what the fates have wrought for Colin. It didn't help matters when Ryan jumped in with his one Colin slam of the show, "Know what it would be in German? ... Herr Hair!" Colin managed to get some revenge with his ice cold stare, but neither Ryan nor Colin could keep the pretense up and burst out laughing in the face of Drew's excellent Colonel Klink impression from "Hogan's Heroes" — "Hogan! That is not so funny!" A fun time all around, even if it was at Colin's expense.

Let's Make a Date: Chip = contestant; Wayne = possessed girl from "The Exorcist"; Colin = cantankerous snowman who is melting; Ryan = destructive toddler learning to walk and talk
Chip begins the game by adopting a Southern belle persona that works well for him. Asked what his Olympic event would be, Wayne starts out with a little girl voice and then deepens it after the Devil possesses her. Wayne is very good at using his eyes to convey the physical nature his quirks and here he manages to roll his eyes back so that it looks as if his eye sockets are empty. It's very effective albeit slightly unnerving. Wayne does need to work a little on his vomiting though because after saying that he will use the pole vault to make a human shish-ka-bob out of Chip, he vomits. Only it sounds more like a clogged drain unclogging than anything else to me. It impressed Chip though — "Oh you sweet talker!" Chip asks Colin to finish a rhyme but underneath the hot studio lights, Colin is just a little cranky, "Oh finish it yourself!" Colin gives Chip an excellent clue with "and what a horrible craft table you have" but it might have been a little too TV insider-ish for the average viewer to understand if Colin hadn't followed it with pulling the traditional nose carrot off his face and biting into it. (Just in case anyone doesn't know, the off-stage table with food and drinks for the cast and crew is commonly called the "craft table".) Chip wants to know what Ryan's favorite sound to hear is. I still don't know the answer to the question, since I don't speak baby. But Ryan does indeed answer it — managing to look about 38 years younger while doing it. He then climbs down off the stool and stands tentatively — knock-kneed and pigeon-toed, Ryan tests his balance and stands without support. Unsuccessfully. Even more unsuccessfully than he intended, I expect, since Ryan fell too far from the stool to reach it in order to pull himself back up. He has to scoot a little on his side before he can reach the rungs to hold on to so that he can get up in character. Perhaps to draw attention to the fact that he is now halfway off the stool, Colin warns Chip that he'd better hurry up "before two of us are wet!"

Chip agrees and asks Wayne where he would take Chip on their dream date. Still possessed, Wayne threatens to take Chip to the Depths and then floats above the stool. I think Wayne was planning to totally circle the stool only he forgot how close he was to Colin and had to backtrack in order to face forward again. Finally, the little girl breaks free from her possession momentarily to cry out, "Help me!" — although Wayne manages to sound more like Vincent Price at the end of the "The Fly" to me. Chip responds to the Depths dream date suggestion with one of my favorite lines of the game — "I suppose that's some bar I'm not familiar with, but alright." Clever thinking on Chip's part. "How're you doing over there?" to Colin. "Not so good. Oh, I know how the Wicked Witch felt." And all we see left of Colin is from his nose up and he slowly dissolves into a puddle on the floor. Colin would have dissolved much faster if Ryan hadn't caught him by the hair and tried to pull him back up. We never get a shot of Ryan while he's pulling on Colin's hair. The entire bit is shown in an extreme close-up of Colin, so I can't even begin to guess why Ryan was pulling Colin back up. I don't think Colin figured it out either since he kept trying to fall completely and Ryan kept tugging. Eventually Colin won, Ryan broke his grip, and Colin collapsed unto the floor in a puddle. Chip asks Ryan his final question, "When you reach Heaven, what do you hope the good Lord says to you?" And Ryan speaks his first words, "Captain Hair." Buzz.

After Wayne gives Colin a hand up off the floor, you can hear Ryan telling Colin "I tried to help you back up" but he becomes unintelligible after that so even though Ryan explains why he was pulling Colin, I still don't know the reason. Frustrating. Chip is right on in guessing Wayne's quirk — even to naming the actress Linda Blair herself. I liked how he guessed Colin, as Captain Hair melting, a melting snowman. And finally, a correct guess for Ryan — a baby, a toddler learning to walk. Good job, Chip. Three for three.

Duet: Wayne and Chip sing about a funnel in the style of 1940s tap dance
I really don't have a whole lot to say about this game which is a very average song game. Wayne looked as if he felt foolishly amused at himself for retrieving the useless stool. Colin seemed highly amused by the style — a 1940s tap dance number. Both singers, but Chip especially so, chose to sing in a very nasal tone. To me, the nasal tone made the number sound more like a 1920s or early 1930s song rather than one typical of the 1940s. The dancing seemed like it came from the late 1930s and early 1940s — very reminiscent of the Nicholas Brothers. But other than those things, there wasn't anything particularly memorable about this game.

Whose Line: about to make the last stand at the Alamo; Colin = Davy Crockett, losing his nerve; Ryan = Jim Bowie
Try as I might, I have not figured out what Ryan was saying to Chip as he walked by and held up his hand. I was amused when Ryan sheepishly gave the "I dunno why" shrug after forcing Colin to trade places with him before the game began so that Ryan was stage left and Colin was stage right as they often are. From a stage-blocking standpoint, those are the best positions for the two since — Colin being left-handed — it puts both their dominant hands upstage. But for some reason, Ryan seemed slightly embarrassed about making the switch although Colin didn't seem to care. Drew can't resist getting in another Captain Hair reference, dubbing Colin's Davy Crockett, "Captain Fur Hair", for which Ryan chastises him with "Stop it. Stop it." Eventually, though the game begins in earnest with Ryan shooting from the Alamo battlements.

The fun begins in traditional Colin Mochrie style with Colin tugging Ryan's sleeve and announcing that he was losing his nerve. Could Ryan relax him by singing "Let's Dance" again? (Jim Bowie, David Bowie — what's the difference between friends, anyway?) Proving once again that remembering character names is not Ryan's strong point, Ryan responds, "We don't have time for that. They're coming on us, Colin." "I'd feel much better wrestlin' a bar!" Colin's sudden switch accent seems have genuinely confused Ryan since he made Colin explain what he meant by a "bar". Maybe he never listened to the old TV show's jingle when he was growing up. Choosing to ignore the bear reference, Ryan begins to set up the first supplied line of the game. Ryan reminisces about how they were young boys growing up together while Colin is absent-mindedly and amusingly shooting at the enemy. There was something Ryan had always meant to say to Colin. And then divine intervention takes place as one of the goddesses of improv prompts Ryan to pull out and read the line, "Lay a wet one on me, big guy." What results is a hilarious battle of wills on stage between both the characters and the actors as Davy Crockett / Colin refuse — "There's too much of that going on" — and Jim Bowie / Ryan insist. Watch Colin's and Ryan's expressions especially their eyes. Just for an instance, Colin drops character and tries to convince Ryan to stop insisting. Ryan, taking an almost impish delight in Colin's discomfort, refuses to stop. And Colin gives up knowing fully well that Ryan is going to kiss him someway. Triumphant, Ryan grabs Colin and plants a kiss solidly on Colin's cheek. "Have some pie. Oh! Remember the a la mode." Thank you, improv goddess for that wonderful moment.

Just one moment? Not hardly. Instead, the improv goddess was just warming up. Seconds later, Colin urging Ryan to focus on their mission at the Alamo pulls out his first supplied line and the resulting "motto" sends the game careening down another side street. "Why are you dressed like a French maid?" Ever one to play on the edge, Ryan prances across the battlement to confuse the enemy managing to shoot one down who was looking and not fighting. Colin dissents, pointing out that the least Ryan could have done was to wear fishnet stockings instead of stapling pickerel to his legs. (A fish?? Stapling fish to his legs???? And if you can tear your gaze away from the players, check out Wayne and Chip in the background throughout this entire game. They have a hard time sitting still.)

Setting up his second supplied line, Ryan protests that he wants to be memorable. He wants people throughout the ages to remember them and what they've done here. He wants people to say, "Remember the..." and the improv goddess steps in, kisses the scene, and turns this game into one of the all time classics. "Remember the alimooney... the alimony." When the improv goddess gives a gift, take it with grace and use it. Ryan: "I want people from generations now to remember the alimony." Colin: "No! We're not married any more! NO! What do you want them to say?" Ryan, astounded at what he has wrought, loses control, but not Colin. "Forget the alimony! That marriage isn't legal in this state!" The audience is in hysterics. Wayne and Chip are off their chairs. And Ryan is desparately trying not to break up. Finally, Ryan recovers slightly and manages to set up and bring out his second line — the newspaper headline "It's time for your sponge bath." Watch Colin as he discretely shakes his head perhaps signaling that he can't make anything of that line. Fortunately, Ryan is fully in control of himself again and comes up with an explanation for the headline.

The scene begins to wind down as Ryan prances French maid style across the stage again, shooting another enemy in the process. (Ryan seems honestly surprised at how close the enemy falls to his feet as if for a moment the image was real to him.) Colin runs out of ammunition and in traditional comedic fashion, Ryan, thinking his gun is empty, accidentally shoots Colin. Yes, the gag was inevitable, but wouldn't you have been disappointed if it hadn't happened? Colin's sarcasm after being shot was masterful. "Thank you. Thank you." Ryan prances to fetch Colin a towel. "Forget the towel!" Colin knows what to do next. Remembering what Jim Bowie was famous for, he asks for the knife. In a flash of comedic brilliance, Ryan tells Colin to turn away and modestly lifts his skirt to get the knife strapped to his upper thigh. Handing Ryan a rock, Colin announces that they're going to rush the enemy shouting the worst battle cry the enemy has ever heard.

And for one last time, the improv goddess touches the game, as Colin and Ryan shout at the top of their lungs that immortal battle cry, "SHUT UP AND TOUCH THE MONKEY!" The game ends as Colin's and then Ryan's bodies are riddled with buzzer bullets from Drew's desk. Wayne and Chip rise to give the guys justly deserved standing ovations. And the improv goddess returns to her netherworld knowing that she has just created one of the games for the pantheon.

Scenes from a Hat: all four [scenes = bad game show concepts, things you never want to hear your grandmother say, pickup lines used in the fruit and vegetable aisle of the supermarket, personal ads that won't get many responses, people you don't expect to see on the cover of Playboy, modern additions to the Ten Commandments, if dogs told jokes, favorite pranks of emergency room doctors]
Scenes from a Hat had the unenviable task of following an instantly classic game of Whose Line in the broadcast. While not in the same league as Whose Line (the entries for the last two scenes were somewhat weak), this Scenes from a Hat more than holds its own and could easily have been a contender for Best Game in another episode. Promise me, you'll never make me watch any of the game shows that Ryan and Colin invented — Wheel of Mucus, I'll take a bowel, or I'll take what's behind whore number one — I don't want to see any of them, thank you. For that matter, I'd prefer to never hear my grandmother say that I was looking good in that tone of voice, or hear her announce that she was changing pimps, or that she and my grandfather made love like two ferrets. Like Drew, the thought gives me the shivers. Chip's "Cantaloupe tonight?" was almost a reverse pick up line since he was asking Colin if he couldn't go on a date, not if he could go on a date.

The personal ads that won't get many responses were my favorites — both the scenes and the response. Ryan: "Single white question mark". I doubt many will respond to that ad. Proving again that he can laugh at himself, Colin's "Slightly balding superhero..." was a wonderful oblique reference to Captain Hair. And just as he did with the audience member, Colin was ready to defend his honor when Drew responded with a sarcastic "Yeah, slightly." Ryan was surprised at Drew's comment; you can see him turning to Colin and muttering, "Man!" Fortunately Ryan recovered quickly and pulled the would-be pugilist back on the step whispering to him, "No wait. No wait. It's okay." By way of apology, Drew adds, "And I'm slightly overweight". Wayne and Chip were on the other side thoroughly enjoying the three friends' interactions. As was I. When Drew pulled out the next scene (people you don't expect to see on the cover of Playboy) and read it to himself, you can hear a little "uh-oh" as he probably expected to be slammed for his previous comments. But Ryan and Colin don't take that route, instead turning the insult back on themselves instead. Someone, somewhere pointed out that as men, they wouldn't have on the cover of Playboy anyway — insult or not. Ryan's new commandment, "Thou shalt not joke about bald people", might have been offered as reparation for his earlier "Herr Hair" joke. Or as warning to Drew. Either way, it was a nice display of friendship.

Props: Wayne and Colin = 2 red, striated bulbs; Drew and Ryan = long, white funnel
Ryan asking Drew when the other half of Madonna's bra was going to be ready is an old standby prop joke. But the rest of their jokes were quite good. I freely admit I have no idea why Drew's butt was in a cast. Nor do I have any desire to know why. Drew's pirate impressed Ryan and me. I liked Ryan flouncing around as Scarlet O'Hara. And Ryan's anorexic tin man wins the prize for the most bizarre prop use of the game.

Colin's Pamela Lee breast implants joke was Wayne and Colin's one standby prop joke. But the rest of their jokes were even better than Drew and Ryan's. The light bulb seemed a natural joke, but Colin's delivery is what sold it. The jugglers toss was another natural, but again well delivered by both men. I suspect from his reaction that Colin didn't really have a genie in the lamp in mind when he was rubbing the bulb. He seemed very surprised and amused when Wayne whooshed out of it to announce that he was a genie. I don't even think Colin had anything in mind when he was rubbing it. I think he was just searching for an idea and suddenly Wayne was inspired. Of course, the best joke of the game belongs to Wayne. Ryan had "Herr Hair". Chip had "Captain Hair is melting". Drew had "slightly". Everyone had had a swipe at Colin at some time during the show. This was Wayne's turn. Facing the bulb, Wayne starts talking to it. "Hey Colin... oh! (turns to Colin) ... Colin..." In classic Colin fashion, Colin just stares at him with a "How could you hurt me?" stare and then looks at the audience for sympathy while Wayne hugs him. The audience is in stitches. Not too mention Chip. Listen closely, and you can hear him pounding on Drew's desk off-camera. All in all, a strong game of props.

Credits: Colin = Captain Hair
An encore performance from the superhero of the day, Drew might have been taking one last swipe at Colin. But never yield the floor to an insulted comic as the first or second sentence out of Colin's mouth was "Drew Carey, take off that toupee!" I liked how the others came up behind and provided Colin with hair leaving him to read the credits alone. Best credit line — "All I am saying is give my piece a chance." A woefully bad pun in the best Colin Mochrie tradition.

Best Game:
Before you started reading my review, you probably expected me to pick Superheroes for Best Game. After all, that game gave WLiiA fans one of the most famous superhero characters in the show's history. But now, you should be able to easily guess that I think Whose Line is by far the superior game. Ryan and Colin were at the top of their form. The supplied lines were not only funny but took the game down unexpected and hilarious avenues. And when you throw in coincidence, or fate, or accident, or the improv goddess as I called it, governing the verbal slip-ups and the order of the reading of the lines, you have an unbeatable combination. Like I said — a classic game that belongs in the pantheon.

Overall Comments:
Wow. Wow, wow... wow, wow wow. Except for Duet — which I repeat is not bad just average — every game here is good. Superheroes, Let's Make a Date, and Scenes from a Hat are very good. And Whose Line... well, I've said enough about that one. I highly recommend that if you don't have a copy of this one in your permanent collection, you get a copy. This one is worth viewing again and again.

© LKK 07/04/01