Well, it's now time for me to impart some golden words of wisdom concerning the first ever Best of Whose Line special. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no idea how to write this review. So, if you thought my reviews were rambling discourses before, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Don't say you weren't warned!

Cast: Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Wayne Brady, Brad Sherwood, Chip Esten, Greg Proops, and Drew Carey

[I should mention that I haven't seen all Season 2 episodes, so some of the previously broadcast scenes were still new to me. The category titles sort of match the skit groupings that Drew introduced but are my own creation.]

Scenes from a Hat: Bad things to say to someone on their deathbed (edited version).
Why include this one? I thought it was pretty standard WLiiA the first time I saw it — on the British version!

Scenes from a Hat: Celebrity endorsements doomed to fail.
I hadn't seen this one. Colin Mochrie for Rogaine. Very, very nice.

Scenes from a Hat: Secret double lives of WLiiA cast members.
Brad as Colin doing strip tease; Colin as Brad watching. Yea, I'll put this one on my favorite list.

Scenes from a Hat: Phrases you can use to describe a truck but not your girlfriend (edited).
I laughed hard the first time I saw it. And I still do.

Scenes from a Hat: Unlikely ways to impress women (edited).
I'd have edited out Wayne's "I work with Drew Carey", but Colin's two entries are prime time.

Scenes from a Hat: Rejected Jeopardy categories (edited).
Animal audio genitalia. Man, Colin has a way of stringing words together to come up with the wildest things, doesn't he?

Scenes from a Hat: Bad parental motivation speeches.
New to me. Ryan: "A teacher? A teacher? Honey, prostitutes make twice that much." Wow! What a dad!

Whose Line: at the Alamo; Colin = Davey Crocket; Ryan = Jim Bowie
Another favorite of theirs and mine. The Whose Line Alamo game. I've always been partial to the Whose Line game. And Alamo is one of my personal favorites so I'll go along with including it. Watching it, I was stunned to hear, or rather not hear, the edit of "Captain Fur Hair". I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why that was missing. During the game, my dog distracted me so that I didn't catch the later edit in the game (fishnet stockings) so my theory at the time was since we hadn't heard about Captain Hair yet, the reference wouldn't have made sense. I'd end up revising my theory several times before the night was through.

Duet: Wayne and Chip sing to Derek who works in a diesel warehouse.
Okay, yes, the show probably needed at least one song style / duet / ballad / whatever they're calling it this week. But why Derek? I'd have voted for Katey from Hogi Yogi. Or maybe Chanel, the Polynesian dancer. Was Derek really the cast / producers favorite? Odd.

Props:
Ryan's prop hits Colin. A quickie little favorite of mine. I love how Colin elaborates the hit, building on it to create humor.

Newflash: at a nuclear test site
Drew calling Ryan "Colin". I think everyone caught Drew's mix up there. But only Greg would have jumped in and called him on it. Very, very typical Greg. And that's one of the things we love about him.

A spit sequence:
Whose Line: Braveheart
Colin spitting during the Braveheart Whose Line and Ryan trying not to laugh.
Let's Make a Date: Brad = Dracula; Colin = Frustrated Housewife
Brad spitting during Let's Make a Date and Colin turning into comedy as the housewife tries to clean off Brad's shirt.

Sit Stand Lie: at a tatoo parlor
Drew mixing up a Sit Stand Lie game scene introduction. Three campers under a full moon. Oh no, Wayne has taken her boyfriend Colin to get a tattoo. I doubt that we'd have ever seen this blooper if Colin hadn't once again taken the accident and built comedy around it. "I'd rather be camping under a full moon."

Let's Make a Date: Colin = Miss World; Ryan = King Kong
Ryan as King Kong grabbing Colin and holding him in a slightly too personal place. I'm still trying to figure out what Colin was doing behind Ryan while Ryan patted Colin on the back. I've narrowed it down to hiding his face with his hands or patting Ryan on the back too.

Interlude: More Ale Wench
I still love this. No matter what anyone else says. So there.

World's Worst: Major awards ceremony
Drew and Greg falling on the World's Worst step. I hadn't seen this one. Ryan faking falling. And Colin standing there with his arm outstretched. Yea, like one little arm was going to stop Drew and Greg from falling down. Mmm hmmm.

Interlude: Stage hands carrying off a bench
Not only hadn't I seen that, I couldn't even identify the bench. I assume it's from a Sit Stand Lie but it doesn't look like the same one used for the tattoo parlor. Why would they have more than one bench?

Greatest Hits: Songs of the Wrestler
Colin: "Men in tight tights". The lone entry from the various Greatest Hits stumbles. Why that one? There are better stumbles to include.

African Chant: Chris the special effects guy
Africa is a country. Once again, everyone caught the mistake but count on Greg to call Drew on it. By now, everyone has caught Greg saying "I couldn't help it, Drew. I'm a just little witch here", right? A reference to the previous Weird Newscasters game where Colin thought Greg was a witch.

Hoe-down: cop shows
The broadcast version of Ryan's Melissa Hoe-down. More "fame" for Melissa.

Hoe-down: censorship
The first censored version of Ryan's Melissa Hoe-down. A very nice Hoe-down from Ryan. On topic, funny, and didn't need to be censored. "Nice tight booty" is acceptable for a PG, I think. This could have been shown instead of the first one if the other verses were good.

Hoe-down: traffic
The second censored version of Ryan's Melissa Hoe-down. I think Ryan was getting desperate here. Most have been a long night. I think at the end, he says "I couldn't think of anything to say." I bet Melissa wished that he could have thought of something else by then.

Narrate: At a burger joint
A.k.a. The Maltese Burger. A.k.a. The Kiss. (edited version) During the first season, Colin kissed Greg at the end of a Weird Newscasters game. That kiss almost didn't air; apparently, there was quite a fight over it. I wonder if the cast had to fight to get the Maltese Burger kiss broadcast too. Or did last season's kiss pave the way? After seeing this edited game, I came up with my second theory as to why the Alamo Whose Line dropped the Captain Fur Hair reference. To save time. (Okay, so it wasn't a complicated theory, but it's probably the reason the Maltese Burger was edited.)

Weird Newscasters: Colin becomes a nudist.
I bet the censors nearly had heart failure over this one but I'm glad it stayed in. It's hilarious. Brad was having a hard time keeping his focus. Even Ryan started losing it when Colin popped up complaining about the vinyl seats. And when Ryan asked Colin to serve as his pointer! I really don't think Colin wanted to do it. He just barely shakes his head and I don't think it was one of his laughing at Ryan headshakes either. Ryan just grins wickedly and asks again "Would you mind?" Colin's improv rule number two: never block a scene. I suspect Colin wanted to through out the rulebook just about then though.

Song Styles: Lee the Lunch Lady
Joy. Joy. Joy. No other way to describe it.

Newsflash: at a nuclear test site
Ryan: "Colin! I remember when you left the studio, you had hair." Well, at least they kept in Colin's reposte. "What do you mean by that, stickboy?"

Hats:
Greg: "Hello, I'm Colin Mochrie." A personal favorite. I love Colin's expression here. And hearing Ryan laughing offscreen at Greg's joke.

Narrate: at the barber
Ryan: "I knew he wasn't here for a haircut. And if he was, it wasn't going to take long." Poor Colin. I don't think he's ever quite gotten used to the jabs.

Newflash: the Colin Newsflash (edited)
It was fun to see this one again. I was a little surprised to realize that with all the times I've watched this, I had never picked up on Ryan saying "That was great" just before Drew announced that it was the best one ever. (And yes, I agree with both of them.)

Foreign Film Dub: Bikini Jones in Swedish
Ryan translating for Drew that he had eaten too many meatballs. (New to me.)

Weird Newscasters: Wayne = Drew's biggest fan
I don't know that I'd call this one abuse. More like stoking Drew's ego. (Although it wasn't aired here, I love Colin's comment afterwards, "This just in. Sucking up to the boss still gets you ahead in the business.")

Scenes from a Hat: Strange causes to raise money for
Ryan: Get Drew Carey a third show.

Scenes from a Hat: Naked photos you wouldn't want to see on the Internet
Ryan: "C A R E Y" (I'll second that!)

Superheroes: Wayne = Cowboy Stunt Rider
Wayne riding that "filly" Drew

Hoe-down: gambling
Ryan's gambling Hoe-down that for once was a Drew slam without rhyming Carey with scary or hairy.

Song Titles: At the beach
Just like the real estate adage. This censor was all about location, location, location. Look at your partner's face or shoulders, and you can say "Hair" or "Shaft". Look further southward (or better yet POINT!) and you can't. I wonder what the producers would have done if the censor had changed the outcome of the game (as they say in game show land). What would have happened if Ryan had thrown Wayne out with his Hair comment? What do you think we'd seen?

Scenes from a Hat: What Santa left under Bill Clinton's tree
The only guess I have for the numerous stain edits is that the tapings occurred during the height of the scandal. And ABC was being cautious for political reasons. Otherwise, I don't understand the censor's reason.

Props: Ryan and Colin with two spirals
Crabs. Hmm, yea, I can see the reason behind this censor.

Scenes from a Hat: Unwelcome potluck dishes at a church pot luck dinner
Really, Colin, did you think that would pass?

Props: Ryan and Colin with wooden slats
No references to fingers allowed, guys. Naughty, naughty. Interesting side note, Ryan doesn't often refer to Colin as "Col" that's usually Greg's nickname. But here Ryan calls Colin "Col".

Scenes from a Hat: Worst way to begin a State of the Union address
I laughed out loud at this one. I wish they'd kept it in.

Hoe-down: unknown
Wayne dancing in Drew's chair before a Hoe-down. Why censor? I dunno.

Hats:
Well we finally got to hear someone say "laid" in this game. Ooooo. Big deal. I liked Wayne's snowballs. And I especially liked Colin's Titanic. Nice, nice double entendres as opposed to outright references.

Props. Ryan rolling the hand up to the one finger
(Can't really say it was the middle finger since the hand only had four fingers.) Including this cut is something of a cheat because it really wasn't censored. We don't get to see the players return the props at all in the US version. (Props is always played before a commercial, it seems.) So this one wouldn't have shown anyway. But it was funny.

Hoe-down: Halloween
Ryan's first (?) attempt at a Halloween Hoe-down. To me, this was the highlight of the hour. And not because of the language. I particularly remember Colin's Hoe-down and Ryan's response on the original broadcast. I'd always assumed that Ryan was reacting to Colin's verse. Now, of course, I know that he was reacting to Colin STEALING his verse! Of all the clips we've seen, this one made me feel as if I was right there at a taping. Maybe it was the camera angle (almost from the audience area) when Ryan's yelling "What do you want? Everybody took mine!" Or maybe it was watching the other players. I dunno. I can't really explain it. But for just a moment, I felt like I was there.

Mission Improbable: the laundry
A.k.a. The Cat. I suspect we didn't see this classic because of the time it took to play that Mission Improbable game. Out of curiosity, I timed several sequences. The edited Alamo Whose Line was the longest segment; just over 4 minutes. Melissa Party Quirks (not including the Hoe-downs) was next at 3 minutes 30 seconds. The edited Colin Newsflash lasted 2 minutes 50 second. Lee the Lunch Lady was 2 minutes 43 seconds. And Derek the Diesel Guy was 2 minutes 30 seconds. I went back and timed the original cat game. It took 5 minutes 30 seconds. I'm not sure how you could have edited the cat without losing a great deal of the fun. So maybe they just decided not to include it all.

Superheroes: Colin = Captain Hair
Except for the opening visual of Colin reading the credits as Captain Hair, there were NO references to our hero anywhere in the episode. Even in the Colin abuse section. So, the question becomes "why?". Here's my theory number three and the theory I'm sticking with. I think there some concern that Captain Hair is threatening to overtake some of the show. I'm thinking here about the Fonz in Happy Days or Urkel (eek!) in Family Matters. I don't think that the cast or the production staff wants Captain Hair to become so popular that he overshadows the other fine characters. Partly I'm basing this on comments from this season's tapings. Partly I'm basing this on my overactive conspiratorial mind.

© LKK 10/08/00