Cast: Wayne Brady, Kathy Greenwood, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles, and Drew Cary

Weird Newscasters: Colin = anchor; Kathy (co-anchor) = Colin's nagging overbearing wife; Wayne (sports) = Munchkins from The Wizard of Oz; Ryan (weather) = Shows why he's known as Mr. Sexual Harassment
Colin got the game off to a good start by giving himself a good name (Horse Urode Inon) and telling a horrendously bad pun / joke about sheep hitting the fan. I liked the names he gave his co-workers too. Especially Wayne's name: Abdula Oblongata. Kathy's quirk is a fairly standard quirk but I thought she handled it well. I really liked her one-liner response to Colin's helium joke. Colin: "Helium prices are up." Kathy: "Well, at least something is." I think she would have gotten a bigger audience response with a slightly different delivery, though. Wayne's munchkins were appropriately annoying. If he keeps speaking like that though, he'll lose his singing voice. Careful there, Wayne. By the way, why did he bring in the Wicked Witch's guards' song? The munchkins were nowhere near that scene. I liked Ryan best here, I think. I guess you can get a lot more past the censors if you air draw the pictures instead of talking about it. A very clever way to handle a topic that might have caused censorship problems.

Song Styles: Wayne sings to Maureen, the editor of Teen Style magazine, in the style of Sisqo
This little bit certainly made me feel old. I don't remember Teen Style when I was a teenager so I'm assuming it's fairly new. And while I've heard of Sisquo and the thong song, I've never heard the song itself or anything else by the singer. So I couldn't possibly tell you if Wayne was even close in his impersonation. I can tell you that Ryan got a kick out of watching Wayne jump mid-way through the song, though. Do I get any points for that?

Scenes from a Hat: [scenes = bad things to do during an earthquake, graffiti found in the White House bathroom, rejected name for bras, unfortunate wedding night confessions, inappropriate comments to give your mother, what Drew is thinking right now]
I was a little disappointed with the scene topics and responses this time. Last season's Scenes from a Hat was frequently one of the highlights of whatever episode it was in. So I've come to expect great things here. And this time, the topics were a bit off the mark. Wayne's wedding night confessional Drew slam was pretty good. But I actually liked Drew's come back better. The best scene, of course, was the rejected names for bras. Kathy's entry is actually quite funny, "Flat and Flappy" but she delivered the line so poorly I had to replay the tape several times just to figure out what exactly she said. (I first thought she said "Fat and Flabby" which is also a good line.) I wonder if movie theater sales of Milk Duds will decrease now that Ryan has redefined the name's meaning? (Who knows, maybe adolescent males will drive up sales!)

What are You Trying to Say?: Ryan is fitting Colin for a suit
A new game for the Sherbet twins. (Quick! Somebody check the wardrobe mistress's credentials! Why she let both Ryan and Colin wear shirts that can only be described as orange sherbet colored is beyond me.) A game where Ryan and Colin play two easily offended men who are constantly misunderstanding each other and then flying into a rage. Now, Colin does one of the best 30-second slow boils in the business. And Ryan is no slouch either. But by the end of the second round, when the phrase "What are you trying to say" was said for the fourth time, I was beginning to tire of the pattern. I did like how three times before, the non-angry person explained the misunderstanding, but on the last set, Colin said "well, yeah, that was what I meant". I'm not ready to throw this game out with the bath water yet, though. Ryan and Colin are experienced enough that I'll give them a few more chances to put some variety into the by-play. Sometimes games take a little trial and error before they're solid. And I think this game has the potential to reach an enjoyable viewing level. I doubt that it will become a classic unless the format changes. But I think it will become a nice alternative game. By the way, did you notice that Ryan had to suck the lime when Colin asked if Ryan thought Colin should be wearing a Milk Duds because his breasts were like windsocks flapping in the wind?

Party Quirks: Kathy = hosts; Wayne = island tribal chief and his interpreter; Colin = thinks people's butts are sandwiches; Ryan = drag queen sporting a major attitude
Very interesting beginning to this game as the guys were reading their cards. This might have been the first time that Colin's reaction to his quirk was not only physical but verbal as well. And I thought it was funny how Ryan and Colin's actions mirrored each other. Colin brought his hand up from his chin to his eyes and back down. Ryan brought his hand down from his hair to his eyes and back up. Weird! Even when they're not acting they're in synch!

Once again, Wayne had an elaborately long build up to the meat of his quirk as he entered the door. (Sort of like his entrance during the Melissa Party Quirks.) Unfortunately, the build up tends to delay the humor rather than add to it. Once inside the apartment, Wayne's quirk really picked up. I liked him playing the dual roles here. And once again, Milk Duds became the show's recurring joke reference.

Just before Wayne entered, you can see Colin turn around and talk to Ryan but I could never figure what Colin was saying since his back was turned. Was he asking Ryan to play along? That hardly seems necessary. And he certainly didn't warn Wayne or Kathy. Was he saying that he didn't know how to handle the quirk? Or that it embarrassed him? I would love to know. Whatever that little conversation was about, I loved how Colin played his quirk. The only time he seemed to hold back was with Kathy but even then he took the quirk right up to the point of eating her. And when he went full out to make a sub sandwich out of Ryan, Ryan had an awfully hard time not laughing there.

Ryan was wonderful as the drag queen with an attitude. It never fails to amaze me how Ryan can make me see things that simply aren't there. Couldn't you see the little tiny purse that Ryan put his lipstick into? I certainly did. I haven't mentioned Kathy much yet. First, let me flat out say that I was impressed that she managed to get anywhere near the actual quirks. Ru Paul for Ryan's quirk was definitely "close enough". She got Wayne's quirk. I also think she got Colin's quirk very early but just didn't quite know how to say it. I don't know if she was genuinely embarrassed about saying Colin liked to eat people's butt or if she was concerned about phrasing it for the censor. But Kathy certainly had the quirk idea early because she kept trying to protect herself from Colin.

A little computer chair quarterback acting advice for you, Kathy. It's okay to be puzzled and confused by the quirks. Better guessers than you have tried and failed. So take your confusion and play it up. Make it bigger. Your performance will have a much stronger impact if you deliver more oomph. Take a lesson from Greg on how to be funny puzzled. "I hope the next guest brings pizza because I am going to be out here for days." Final comment. Did you notice that after Ryan went back to his seat, he read a quirk card then showed it to Wayne. Did you realize that it was Colin's card he was reading? I didn't at first. Both Wayne and Ryan were laughing pretty hard about shy Colin having to do that quirk.

Irish Drinking Song: Wayne, Drew, Colin, and Ryan sing about Drew
Another new game. A singing game in which each player sings a verse line in turn. Four lines to a verse with lines two and four having to rhyme. Each player starts a new verse in turn leading to a total of four verses. I had read about this game in the taping descriptions but I didn't realize how fast the song's tempo was. The players don't have a lot of time to think up their lines, which caused no end of troubles for Drew. I don't think it helped him any that they were singing about him. And for some reason, Colin found this a particularly funny game because when Ryan rhymed sport with retort, Colin was laughing too hard to sing the "aye dee die dee die" refrain. He also laughed through the refrain when Drew came up with Lilith Fair for his rhyme. I liked how Drew mentioned Colin in the song "Let's not forget his bald friend." After all, Ryan and Wayne had mentioned themselves. I thought it was nice of Drew to mention Colin. I really liked this game and I think it'll be a nice alternative to Hoe-down (which I still love, by the way!). Final question: Did you notice that there's a monitor behind Drew's desk on the left side? I don't recall ever seeing it before. Has it always been there?

Credits: Colin = angry director; Kathy = bad-tempered film star complaining about her co-stars
I'm sure Kathy must be able to play a character who isn't nagging / angry, but for now that seems to be the role she's getting. She started complaining about working with so and so. Then Colin got in the night's only Ryan zing. "Well, I have to work with Ryan Stiles!" After that, the readings became fairly standard fare.

Best Game:
Hmm. My first thought was Party Quirks. Then while writing this I remembered Irish Drinking Song. But I think I'll stick to Party Quirks. I thought Kathy was weak in her performance. But the quirks were just too funny.

Overall Comments:
The new song game is definitely a keeper. The new Ryan and Colin game might be. We'll have to wait to render judgement on that one. Let's say it's on probation, shall we? I only saw Kathy once last season, but I thought that her performance tonight was definitely an improvement over last year. She's still nowhere near the guys. But I'm not going to pink slip her yet. And finally, to the wardrobe mistress, I liked both Ryan and Colin's orange sherbet shirts. Just never again on the same night. Please!

© LKK 10/15/00