"What the hell is this?"

Greg Proops opened one eye just in time to catch a glimpse of papers flashing in front of him. They silently landed on the pillow beside him.

"Huh?" Greg mumbled incoherently, trying to wake up.

"How could you, Greg?"

"How could I what?"

Jennifer Proops shoved the paper in front of his face. He glanced at the headline. Comedian found in arms of another woman.

"What?!" Greg snapped to reality and sat up, yanking the papers from Jennifer.

"I knew it would be hard when we got involved, with all the nights away from home..."

"Jen, I don't even know a Jessica!" he exclaimed, searching the article.

"But I still loved you, Greg. Just tell me the truth!"

"Damn it, Jennifer...I don't know where this came from!" Greg said helplessly.

Jennifer shook her head and ran from the room.

"Hi, I'd like to see the person who wrote this article," Greg said, ignoring the pity glances from everyone in the magazine office later that morning.

"He's currently in a meeting, Mr. Proops..."

"I don't care. I want to see him now. I want a retraction!"

The secretary sighed. She didn't want Greg to make a scene. Greg pounded down the hall and burst into the office the secretary had indicated.

Inside was a woman seated in front of a desk. "You are a sick man! Greg doesn't deserve this. Take it back."

"Not until you take me back."

"Listen, we broke up. I'll be friends with you but that's as far as it goes. And you took my admiration for my favorite comedian and made us both look bad!"

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Greg spoke up. The woman jumped in her seat and turned around. Greg suddenly recognized her.

Jessica Rollins. I never thought I'd see you again. You broke my heart, remember? You made me get fucking drunk over you and go out onstage and perform the worst I ever had because I couldn't get you off my mind. You crossed my mind many times, but now that I'm happily married to Jen, I can't believe you would come back and do something like this to me again!

Greg cleared his throat as Jessica turned red and looked away. "Uh....anyway...I know that article is a lie, and I want a retraction...unless you really want my lawyers up your ass."

Greg looked at Jessica. "I'm so sorry, Greg...." she began.

"Listen, I don't wanna be sued, man. I actually like my job."

"And I love my wife," Greg said, casting a glance at Jessica. "So just write the damn retraction." The reporter nodded. "But you'll still be hearing from my lawyers."

Greg turned on his heel and headed back down the hall.

"I'm really sorry, Greg," Jessica said from behind, running to catch up with him.

"I never thought I'd see you again," he said, still walking.

"This was not my fault...Robby just hates me for breaking up with him."

"Seems to be a common thread with you, doesn't it?"

"Greg, come on. We're adults now...can't we forget what happened and start over as friends?"

Greg sighed. He'd always had a soft spot for her. "You know what? Jealousy can really screw with a guy's mind."

Jessica laughed softly. "Ain't that a bitch," she quoted. "Can you tell your wife that I'm sorry?"

"Why don't you tell her yourself?" Jessica looked at him blankly. "You said it yourself. We're adults now. You two should meet. I've got a gig tonight....she'll be there."

"That would be great," Jessica said shyly.

"I'll leave your ticket at the door then." Greg smiled and headed off.

As he drove home, Greg couldn't help wondering what would've happened if the article had been true. If, in a lonely and drunken state, he and Jessica had had a worthless one-night stand. He would've been in deep shit with Jennifer.

"Thank God it wasn't true," Greg said to himself.

Jessica clapped appreciatively as Greg waved and ran offstage. She gathered her purse and stood.

Tonight's gonna be the night I make sure Greg never forgets me.

Jessica knocked on Greg's dressing room door. She heard his footsteps padding along the floor. She held her purse in front of her, trying out many different poses before Greg reached the door. Finally, she just stood still as the door opened and Greg's glasses-framed face peeked around the frame.

"Oh, hey. Come on in."

Jessica stepped inside, tucking a stray strand of hair from her messy updo away from her eyes, and looked around. "Where's Jennifer?"

"Oh, she got caught up with work tonight. She couldn't make it."

Perfect. I'll just pull my card then. Greg never could resist a helpless woman.

Jessica threw herself dramatically down on a chair, burying her face in her hands. Greg turned from the drink bar and saw her.

"Jessica, are you all right?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. "It's just so much pressure...breaking up with my boyfriend. He keeps calling me and begging me and I..."

"Well, why did you break up with him?" Greg knelt in front of her. Jessica just sobbed. She didn't answer. "Jess, come on. We've known each other a long time. Speak up. I'm only a comedian...not some asshole movie star."

Jessica looked at him, a tear trickling down her cheek. "I couldn't stop thinking about you," she said softly, her lips trembling.

Greg stood and backed away.

"I've regretted our breakup every day," Jessica continued, standing and following him. "Don't you think it's fate that we're here?" She slid a hand up his arm and met his gaze. "Alone?"

Greg could only stare as Jessica leaned up and gently pressed her lips to his. Greg's eyes fluttered closed as Jessica's arms tightened around his neck. He still remembered exactly the way she tasted, and exactly how she liked to be kissed. Without even thinking, instinctively from memory, Greg wrapped a hand around her neck, sliding it up and tangling it in her updo as he opened his mouth deeper.

Jessica responded, moving even closer to him. Greg turned his body, wrapping it protectively around her, holding her tightly against him, drowning in her perfume. As they stood in Greg's dressing room, kissing slowly but passionately, yet another memory sprang to his muddled mind.

I rounded the corner. That college crowd has been hell on my material. I felt like shit. All I had wanted to do was see Jessica. I knew she would make it all right. God, I was so fucked up over her...cut my own foot off in love with her! And I was so blind. She'd been kissing that bastard. That guy had his tongue so far down her throat that she had to replace his with her own! Then I'd found out she had instigated the whole thing. Damn, she thinks I'm a fool. Since I'm a comedian now...Greg, what the hell are you doing? You're married!

Greg pulled away, staring. Jessica smiled up at him. "Do you love me, Greg Proops? Do you?"

"I'm..." Greg cleared his throat, his head still spinning from her perfume. "I'm married."

"But you still love me. I could tell by the way you kissed me."

"You played me over in high school. You're still exactly the same. You didn't dump me. I dumped you, remember? Get the hell outta here."

"But, Greg..."

"I said, get the fuck out of here!!" Greg yelled.

Jessica huffed and grabbed her purse off the floor. "Well, Mr. Big-Shot Comedian, go home and screw your wife then. I don't need you." At the door, she turned and hissed, "You don't kiss that well."

"Greg! Oh, thank God. I need to talk to you," Jennifer said, throwing down her magazine as Greg came tiredly through the door. "The guy from the article called. He's issuing the retraction. I'm so sorry I didn't believe you. So sorry."

Jennifer threw herself into Greg's arms. Greg held her against him tightly.

No...I'm sorry, Jenny. I'm sorry. In a way, that article was true. I kissed another woman. She started it, but I kissed her back. I wish you could smell the perfume. I wish I hadn't taken a shower and washed it away. Then you could get angry at me and we could talk it out. I feel so bastardly dirty. I'm guilty, Jen. Guilty as hell. And, God help me, I will never go anywhere without you, my love. Forgive me. Forgive me....

"Well, look who it is," Ryan Stiles grumbled, frowning in disgust.

"If it's someone with the initials CAM, I don't want to know," Greg Proops said.

"How could he do that to us?" Wayne Brady asked.

"On national TV too?" Drew Carey added. "I should've made him sit at my desk for Hoedown...I knew one day he'd snap over having to do that game!"

Colin Mochrie looked around and saw his friends standing in the center of the party, all looking at him---and hating him. He hadn't meant to insult them all. Surely they'd know he hadn't meant it!

Colin took his drink and sat on the floor in the corner in shame. He looked over at Ryan. His best friend for 20+ years. They'd been through everything; weddings, deaths, bad flights, bad auditions, bad hair (or no hair) days. Who knew that one tiny crack about Ryan's son would ruin everything?

"I thought the hoedown was supposed to be about friendship," Drew said, reflecting on Colin's hoedown. He'd managed to weave all four improvers into his hoedown by insulting them in rhyme.

Colin had chosen to rhyme about Drew's unmarried status. He was quite aware that, on the cast of both of his shows, he was the only unattached one. Did Colin have to rub his face in his loneliness?

Wayne, however, was most upset. Colin--sweet Colin who never wanted to hurt anyone--had made such a racist remark about Wayne's ethnicity that he couldn't even think about it without wanting to hate Colin forever.

Greg was the one who had already forgiven Colin for the crack about his glasses, but he had to act mad to stay in the company of his friends.

But what kind of friends would let something said at work come between them?