TITLE:
PICKING UP THE PIECES-Chapter Six
AUTHOR:
CTL (AugieSwan2@AOL.com)
AUTHORS'
NOTES: On September 11th, 2001, Cindy came home from work to
find a person she didn't recognize. I was playing games on the computer
just after eight o'clock that morning when my brother called and asked
me if I was watching TV. When I told him I wasn't, he told me to turn on
the TV. Any channel, he said, it didn't matter. I put it on CNN and watched
in stunned disbelief as part of a world I'd been a part of crumbled to
the ground. When Cindy came home, I was hysterical. Not knowing New York,
she also became upset when she learned that TWC is in Manhattan. I told
her that somebody had called on the phone but I hadn't reached it in time
to answer it. She checked the call notes and found out that Bridget had
called, saying she was okay. Cindy went online sending emails to Bridget's
friends who'd wanted to know if anybody had heard anything.
Anyway,
onto Chapter Six. I couldn't begin to imagine the horror of having one
of my loved ones being on one of those planes. But, I have to wonder just
how many people were supposed to be on one of those planes and missed
the flight for whatever reason.
And, like
Cindy in the previous chapter, I'm going to dedicate this to the bravest
little girl I ever knew, my niece, Kathryn. Every incident that's brought
up in this chapter involving Shelby is based on a real incident, except
for her mother dying.
Los Angeles-Wednesday
morning, September 12, 2001
Jill found
herself suddenly waking up in a darkened bedroom. She wasn't sure where
she was or when she'd fallen asleep, for that matter. She tried to think
of the last thing she remembered. She remembered arriving at Eddie's house
the previous afternoon with Terry and Shelby. How long ago had that been?
She'd learned from Mike that Mary Kathryn had been on the last plane that
had been hijacked. A plane that had crashed in a lone field in Pennsylvania.
She jumped
when she heard the door open. "Hey, you're awake," Mike whispered as he
walked in and knelt on the floor beside the bed.
"I don't
remember going to sleep," she mumbled in confusion, sitting up as the room
began to spin crazily.
"Eddie
called his doctor. He came out and gave you a sedative," Mike explained.
"I have
to do Shelby's infusion," she suddenly remembered as she tried to get out
of bed.
"Whoa!
Terry went and got her stuff. I called Michelle and she came over and got
her squared away. She's asleep in Mary Kathryn's and Savannah's room,"
Mike gently put his hands on her shoulders to stop her from jumping out
of bed.
"Have
you heard anything about Mary Kathryn?" Jill asked.
"My friend
at the airline called me earlier. He said he was able to pull some strings
in order to see a copy of the passenger list. He said her name wasn't on
it," he relayed the information to Jill as she stared at him.
"Is he
sure?" Jill asked, trying to absorb the information Mike had just given
her.
"He said
he went over the list three times. I tried to call her apartment and her
cell phone, but I couldn't get through," he told her.
"Maybe
she took a different flight," Jill said quietly, hoping that was true.
"Well,
if she took a later flight, she's either back in the city or stuck somewhere.
Every airport in the country was ordered shut down. They said on CNN that
they've evacuated Battery Park and TriBeCa," he said as Jill tried to think.
Her head was still fuzzy from the sedative.
"She might
be with Pete's family. They live in Queens," Jill suddenly remembered as
Mike looked puzzled.
"Who's
Pete?"
"Her boyfriend.
God, Mike! He's a firefighter. Do you think he was there when the towers
collapsed?" She asked in horror.
"I hope
not. The mayor was saying they lost hundreds of police and firefighters.
Look, we'll keep trying to reach her or hope that she calls one of us.
I'm going to get some blankets and go crash on the sofa," he said as he
straightened up and walked toward his closet.
That was
when Jill realized that she was sleeping in his bed. "Mike, don't! Stay
with me? Please?" She begged as he nodded and stripped off his jeans and
shirt before lying stiffly beside her on the queen-sized bed. After several
minutes of awkward silence, she reached behind her for his hand and draped
it over her hip.
It had
been four years since they'd last shared the same bed, but it was as familiar
to Jill as if it had just been the day before. He pressed close behind
her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She smiled at the familiar
feel of his St. Christopher medal pressing into her back. That was her
last thought before sleep once more claimed her.
When she
woke up the next morning, she was alone in the bed. She walked into the
front room to find Eddie on the phone and Mike on the computer. She walked
into the kitchen and kissed Michael, who was eating breakfast with Shelby
at the table.
"Hey,
mom! Did you see what happened in New York? Is Mary Kathryn okay? Has she
called?" Michael asked, his mouth full of cereal.
"Michael,
finish your breakfast! The bus is going to be here in a few minutes!" Mike
ordered him from the other room.
Shelby
began to squeal in protest as Jill got all of her medications from the
refrigerator and lined them up. "Come on, Shelby. Please don't give me
a hard time this morning," Jill pleaded with the little girl as she furiously
began shaking her head.
"Bus,
Michael!" Mike yelled when he heard the horn out front.
"I have
to go! I'll see you later, mom!" Michael hurriedly kissed Jill and Shelby
as he grabbed his books and ran out the door, slamming it behind him.
Mike came
into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and watched as Jill tried to get
various medications down Shelby without much success. Suddenly, the fighting
stopped and Jill was able to get all of the medications down without any
more fuss. She turned around to find Mike standing there, looking innocently
at her. "What?" He asked as she replaced the medications in the refrigerator.
"Who unhooked
her from her Hickman this morning?" Jill asked as she closed the refrigerator
door.
"I did.
Michelle left me detailed instructions on what to do last night," Mike
told her.
"How long
did Terry stay last night?"
"He left
about eleven, I guess," Mike replied as he watched Jill fussing over Shelby.
"My car's
still over at his apartment," Jill remembered as she looked over at Mike.
"I have
some stuff to do this morning, but I'll run you over there when I get home
so you can pick it up," he offered as Jill made a face.
"Mike,
I can't stay here. It's too awkward a situation. I'll see if Eddie or Trap
can drive me and Shelby back over to Terry's. I take it you haven't said
anything to Michael about Mary Kathryn," she guessed as Mike shook his
head.
"Jill,
we don't even know where she is. I don't want to tell him anything until
we know something ourselves. Why don't you at least stay here until we
hear something? I really think we should be together," he pleaded as Jill
realized that he was right.
"Okay,
but we both need clothes," she informed him.
"Give
me a minute and I'll drive you over there so you can pick your car up,"
Mike offered as he went to get his car keys.
Mike didn't
have a car seat, which worried Jill, but they were able to get her belted
into the back seat as securely as they could. "You should get a car seat.
She's too small for a booster seat and a seat belt almost chokes her,"
Jill told him as she got in the passenger side of the car and closed the
door.
"I wasn't
exactly planning on having a small child in my car ever again," he coolly
replied as he pulled onto the highway and started back toward town. "I
don't know what time I'll be home this afternoon, but Michael's bus drops
him off at 3:30."
"You are
making sure somebody's home when he gets home from school, aren't you?"
Jill asked as Mike made a face.
"Yeah,
we're making sure somebody's there. What kind of a father do you think
I am, Jill?" He asked as Jill fought to bite back a reply.
"Maybe
staying out at the lake house is a bad idea. All it's going to do is dredge
up bad times," she stared out the window as Mike looked over at her.
"I'm sorry.
Please stay out there. It would mean a lot to me and I know it would mean
a lot to Michael," he assured her as she nodded.
That afternoon
after Mike returned home, Jill excused herself to take a walk outside.
She'd forgotten how pretty it was out here. She sat down on the dock with
her feet dangling in the water and tried to think. She was beginning to
get worried sick about Mary Kathryn. It had been 36 hours since the disasters
and there was still no word. Jill had tried repeatedly all day to reach
Jasmine, Trevor, Patrick or Mary Kathryn, with no results. Mike tried to
be strong, but she could tell that he was worried, too.
Mike was
in the house talking on the phone with a client while he typed on the computer
keyboard. Suddenly he heard a commotion in the hallway. First he heard
his son's angry voice shouting and Shelby's shrieking response. After several
minutes, the noise level from the little girl became deafening. "Mr. Samuels,
can you please hold on for a minute?"
Mike walked
into the hallway where Michael and Shelby were engaged in a tug-of-war
over Michael's game boy. "Shelby, give it back!" Michael shouted as he
tugged hard on the little girl's hands, making her lose her grasp of the
game and fall to the floor, where she began to cry.
"Michael,
enough!" Mike ordered his son as he lifted the little girl off of the floor
as she began to scream and kick. "Shelby, stop!" Mike signed to her with
one hand as he tried to carry her into the other room. "Michael, go find
your mother."
"Why?
So I can get in trouble? She's a monster, dad, and she always gets her
way!" Michael protested as Mike glared at him.
"She's
also smaller than you are. Now, I'm going to go back to my phone call.
I want you to go into the other room and do something quietly," Mike ordered
his son as he went back to his computer. Sitting down and picking up the
phone, he quickly looked the little girl over to make sure she wasn't any
bluer than usual. She'd quieted down and was watching Mike with huge eyes.
Eyes that reminded Mike too much of Savannah. He was once again talking
to his client when his cell phone rang. "Mr. Samuels, can I call you back?
It's Grand Central Station around here. Thank you, bye." He looked at the
number on the caller ID but he didn't recognize it. That didn't mean anything
since they were always getting calls from prospective clients. "Hello?"
"Daddy,
it's me," Mary Kathryn said as Mike almost dropped both the phone and Shelby,
who clutched at him before she fell.
"Mary
Kathryn, are you all right? Where are you?" Mike's words came out in a
rush.
"I'm in
Queens at Pete's father's house. He brought me over here yesterday afternoon.
I've been trying for hours to get a hold of you or mom. Daddy, I was supposed
to be on that plane," she began to cry as Mike tried to think.
"Mary
Kathryn, we know. I found out that your name wasn't on the passenger list.
What happened?" He asked.
"Pete
overslept. He was supposed to take me to Newark and he overslept. Then,
we turned on the TV and it looked like the world had ended. I can't get
mom! Would you call and tell her that I'm okay?" She begged as Mike smiled.
"Hold
on just a second, okay? Michael, watch Shelby," Mike told him as he ran
out of the house toward the dock where Jill was still sitting. She looked
up as he handed the phone out to her. "Telephone."
"Hello?"
Jill asked, looking at Mike with a strange look. She didn't have a clue
who'd be calling her on Mike's cell phone.
"Mom!"
Mary Kathryn screamed as Jill almost dropped the phone into the water.
"Mary
Kathryn, where are you?" Jill asked as she began to cry. "I've been worried
sick about you! Are you all right? Is everybody else all right?"
"I'm with
Pete's family in Queens. We're all okay, but I can't go home. They're not
letting anybody into that area. Trevor said it's a mess. Pete's okay, so
are his uncles and brothers, but he lost a lot of guys in his company,"
Mary Kathryn rambled. "Mom, what're you doing in L.A.?"
"It's
a long story. I brought Shelby back to her original doctor," Jill explained.
"Mom,
let me talk to daddy," Mary Kathryn begged as Jill handed the phone back
to Mike. "Daddy, I want to come home."
"Sweetie,
we want you to come home, too, but the airports are still closed. They're
saying they might not re-open until tomorrow or maybe even Friday," Mike
told her as Jill stood up.
"Are you
kidding? I'm not about to get on another plane," Mary Kathryn confirmed
as Mike smiled. "I'm going to get home somehow even if I have to swim."
Mike talked
to her for a few more minutes before she hung up. He looked at Jill as
she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. "Thank God she's all
right!" She shouted as he pulled away from her. She removed her arms and
tried to will her heart to stop beating so hard. She hadn't seen that look
in Mike's eyes in a long time and it made her nervous. "I'm going to go
check on the kids."
"By the
way, I had to avert World War III a few minutes ago," he told her as they
walked toward the house. "Michael said she always gets her way."
"She does
not 'always' get her way. He torments her, then he doesn't understand why
I get mad at him when he makes her scream," Jill rolled her eyes as she
entered the house where Michael was watching TV. "Where's Shelby?"
"It's
not my day to watch her," Michael mumbled, not taking his eyes off of the
TV.
"Yeah,
I remember the last time it wasn't your day to watch her, she found all
of her medicines and poured them down the sink," Jill remembered as she
went on a search for Shelby.
"How did
she get the tops off?" Mike wanted to know.
"She's
a child, Mike. Remember how we used to say if you ever want a childproof
cap opened, just give it to a kid?" Jill reminded him as he grinned.
Since
they couldn't call for her, they had to go on a room to room search. They
finally found her in Eddie's room, sitting on his bed, holding a family
picture of Mike, Jill, Michael and the three girls that had been taken
a few months before Savannah's death. Shelby looked at Mike, then back
at the picture.
"You're
Mikey's daddy?" She signed as Mike looked at Jill and rolled his eyes.
"You know
I hate that name," he remarked as Jill grinned.
"I'm sorry,
that's what she always calls him. You're on your own," she told him as
he sighed and sat down beside her on the bed.
"Yes,
I'm Michael's daddy," he confirmed as she looked confused.
"But not
my daddy?" She asked as Mike looked at Jill.
"Mike,
she's four years old. I've explained to her about Savannah, but she doesn't
have a concept of what death is," Jill told him.
"Shelby,
I'm your grandfather," he patiently explained as Shelby looked toward Jill
and then back at the picture. "This is your mommy."
"I know,
but where's my daddy?" She asked as Jill walked over and removed the picture
from her little hands and replaced it on Eddie's dressed.
"You shouldn't
be in here," Jill gently guided her out of the room and hoped to have successfully
avoided the question. "Mike, I should really get her back to Terry's apartment."
"I know,
but why don't you at least stay for dinner? That way you can spend more
time with Eddie," Mike said as he tried to think of ways to stall her departure.
"I have to go to the store and pick some groceries up. Do you have any
preferences for dinner?"
"No, I
don't care, but Shelby won't eat anything but macaroni and cheese or broccoli,"
he made a face as Jill grinned.
"I'll
take Michael with me," he offered as he went to the other room to fetch
his son who was sitting glued to the TV. "Eddie should be home in 45 minutes
or so."
But, it
wasn't Eddie who arrived at the house first, it was Willie. He walked in
and went over to the computer and turned it on.
"It must've
been pretty crowded around here last night," he finally said after several
minutes of uncomfortable silence.
"Oh, I
don't know. It didn't seem as crowded last night as it does right now,"
she shot back as Willie turned to look at her.
"So, how
long are you going to stay here?" He asked as he went back to his report.
"Where
do you mean? California or here in this house?" She asked.
"Take
your pick. I meant either one," he spat out as she shook her head.
"Mike
asked me to stay for supper. Then, I'm going to go back to Terry's apartment.
As for how long I'm staying in L.A., that depends on what they tell me
about Shelby's condition. I have an appointment with the doctors tomorrow.
Does that satisfy your curiosity?" She was seething with anger as she looked
over at him.
"You know
this whole little situation is getting a little ridiculous. And, I hear
that I'm not the only one who thinks so," she challenged as he tried to
ignore her. "Terry tells me that's he's been speaking to your son."
"No, he
hasn't. Thomas would've told me," Willie argued back.
"Willie,
don't you ever stop and ask yourself why Natalie moved across the country?"
She asked as Willie stood up.
"Natalie
moved across the country so that she could attend Duke University and then
go to Duke Medical School. Why are you bringing my daughter into this?
It doesn't involve her," he spat out as he walked toward the sofa.
"Willie,
Mary Kathryn told me that Natalie could've gone to USC or UCLA. She was
accepted there, also. You see, I still do have one daughter who talks to
me and she tells me everything. But, if you don't believe me regarding
Thomas, ask your wife. Thomas has told her how he feels about this stupid
rift," Jill stated with cold authority as Eddie walked into the house.
"The reports
are all done and saved to disc," Willie said shortly as he walked past
Eddie and out the front door.
"What
was that all about?" Eddie asked as he watched Willie get in his car and
drive away.
"Just
stirring up a brush fire. Look, Mike invited me to stay for supper, but
I think I'm going to head back to Terry's. By the way, Mary Kathryn called
and she's okay. She's in Queens with her boyfriend's family. She'll probably
call tonight to talk to you and Michael. I have to go," she repeated as
she went into the kitchen and hurriedly threw Shelby's medications back
into the igloo cooler before walking to the bedroom and getting the infusion
equipment.
Jill drove
back to Terry's apartment in record time. He wasn't home, but he'd given
her his spare key the day before, so she was able to get in. He left her
a note saying he'd be home after 6 and there was milk and stuff in the
refrigerator. She stored Shelby's medications and fixed them something
to eat. As she sat there trying to get the little girl to eat, she thought
back to when things had started going wrong. Or, as she referred to it
sometimes, the day everybody began taking sides.
As
she remembered it, things started going badly when she made the announcement
that she was going to legally adopt Shelby, something that Mike was against.
He hadn't liked it when they'd brought the little girl home from the hospital,
but he'd held his tongue. This was another matter entirely.
"So,
what're you saying, Mike? You won't sign the papers?" She asked him.
"That's
exactly what I'm saying. Look, Jill, I know you think you're doing the
right thing, but every time you look at her, you're just going to see Savannah.
And, if she dies, it's going to be like losing Savannah all over again,"
he tried to reason with his wife but she wasn't having any of it.
"You
know, I don't have a guilty conscience. Maybe it's hard for you to look
at her because of what you did to your daughter. Maybe that's the reason
why you pretend that you don't hear her cry so that you won't have to get
up with her in the middle of the night. I don't have that problem," she
shoutedat him as he physically drew back.
"I
wish you'd stop blaming me for that night! I wasn't driving the car!" He
reiterated for the hundredth time.
"I
don't blame you for that night, Mike. I blame you for not telling me about
the fact that you knew Savannah was still seeing Troy," she seethed as
they stared at each other.
"It
wouldn't have made any difference," he pointed out.
"Maybe
not, but at least I wouldn't have been surprised when I was told they were
in the accident together. Now, I'm adopting Shelby either with you or without
you. I would prefer if you were in this with me," she told him.
"I
can't, Jill," he whispered.
The
next day, Willie came by the house while Mike was out and that was when
things really started hitting the fan.
"Mike
was telling me that you're planning on adopting Shelby," Willie said as
Jill changed the baby on the living room floor.
"I
take it that you're on his side," she sighed as she picked the baby up
and stood up.
"Well,
it would be great if the baby had two parents. Are you doing this because
you really want to or are you doing this to hurt Mike?" He asked.
"Why
don't you tell me why I'm doing it? I'm sure Mike's told you and of course,
he'd only tell you the correct version," she added sarcastically.
"You
don't have any idea what you're letting yourself in for," Willie sneered
back.
"Oh,
you're wrong. I know exactly what I'm letting myself in for. Tell me something,
Willie. You knew Savannah was seeing Troy. Why didn't you say something
to me about it?" She asked.
"It
wouldn't have changed anything," he pointed out.
"Oh,
yes it would have. If I had known, I could've done something about it,"
she said sadly.
"Like
what? Physically restrain her from getting in the car with him that night?
She knew he was drunk, Jill. She did what we'd always told her to do. Take
the keys. None of us could've even guessed that he'd try to grab the wheel.
What's done is done. But, you keeping that baby is just rubbing salt into
an already open wound. Do Mike and everybody else a favor and give her
up," he begged as she stared at him as if she no longer knew him.
Jill's
reverie was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. She looked at
it and sighed. She should've known Mike would call wanting to know where
she was. "Hello?" She answered.
"Hey,
I thought you were staying for supper," he reminded her.
"I was,
but Willie showed up and we had words, so I just decided it would be better
for everybody if I just went back to Terry's," she said as she put Shelby
on the floor and sent her to go play.
"Look,
can we have dinner one night this week? Just you and me," he begged as
he unloaded groceries.
"Mike,
we aren't married anymore," she reminded him.
"It's
just dinner, Jill. Nothing more," he sighed as he realized how difficult
this was going to be. It had been hard enough the first time.
"I have
to see Shelby's doctors tomorrow. Will you let me tell you what they say?"
She asked.
"Of course.
Look, just because I was against the adoption mess doesn't mean I don't
care about her. I mean, she is my granddaughter," he pointed out
as he remembered the conversation he'd had with Terry a few days before.
"I have
to go so I can get her ready for bed," she said, suddenly in a hurry to
get off the phone. "Let me tell Michael good-night."
After
saying good-night to her son, she took Shelby into the bathroom to bathe
her and get her ready for bed. She was watching her play in the tub when
she heard the front door open and close.
"Jill,
are you here?" She heard Terry's voice call out.
"I'm in
the bathroom with Shelby," she called out. "I'll be out in a few minutes."
Terry
was watching TV when Jill walked out with Shelby, but all that was on was
non-stop coverage of the disaster, so he finally settled on one of the
movie channels. Jill sat Shelby on her lap and began to comb her tangled
curls.
"Have
you heard from Mary Kathryn?" He asked as he watched her.
"Yeah,
she called Mike this afternoon. She told him she wants to come home," she
said as he nodded.
"I don't
blame her. Did she say where she was?" He asked.
"Yeah,
in Queens with her boyfriend's family. She said they're not being allowed
in TriBeCa, so she can't get her clothes or any of her other stuff. Mike
wanted me to stay over one more night, but Willie showed up and we got
into an argument, so I left. Mike called later and wants me to have dinner
with him one night," she sighed as she put the comb down.
"He does
realize that you're only going to be in town until after Shelby has her
surgery, doesn't he?" Terry asked.
"That's
what I keep telling him. I just have to keep telling myself the same thing.
Come on, kiddo, let's go get you plugged in. Say good-night to Terry,"
she prompted the little girl as she walked over and gave Terry a hug. "I'll
be back in a few minutes.
New York
City-September 12, 2001
Mary Kathryn
was lying on Pete's bed in his room at his family's home in Queens, thinking
about the last day and a half. She kept thinking of the line in the Grateful
Dead song that her mother had once told her epitomized her life, 'What
a long strange trip it's been.'
Her
life had been normal up until 8 o'clock the previous morning. She'd awakened
in Pete's bed, wondering why she was seeing sunshine. She glanced over
at the clock beside his bed and hurriedly shook him awake. "Pete, we overslept!
I'm supposed to be on a plane to San Francisco right now!" She climbed
over him and ran into the bathroom.
"Don't
sweat the small stuff. We'll just put you on the next flight. It's a Tuesday.
The flights are always light early in the week," he assured her as he got
up and pulled a pair of jeans on before walking over and turning on the
TV to 'Good Morning, America.' It was shortly after that while he was in
the kitchen making coffee that the news first broke about the plane crashing
into the first tower of the WTC. Mary Kathryn walked into the living room
to find his attention frozen to the images on the TV.
"Oh
my God! It was an accident, right?" She asked in a hushed whisper.
"I
don't know. I'd hope so," he choked out as they watched the inferno. Within
minutes, they knew it wasn't an accident and Mary Kathryn knew her life
would never be the same again. She was on the phone to the airlines trying
to make new travel arrangements when Pete came back into the bedroom. "Mary
Kathryn, what was the number of the flight you were supposed to be taking
to San Francisco?"
"Pete,
I'm on the phone!" She hissed furiously as she waved him silent.
"Mary
Kathryn, there's reports coming in that another plane has disappeared off
radar. A flight that took off from Newark bound for San Francisco," he
informed her as she hung up the phone.
Within
a couple of hours, they knew everything they needed to know about a plane
that crashed in a field in rural Pennsylvania. Mary Kathryn wasn't sure
if she was blessed or cursed. Pete had taken off for his station house
and then for the WTC site to see if he could be of any help. Mary Kathryn
tried to reach her parents, Trevor, Jasmine or Patrick to let them know
she was okay. She couldn't get through to anybody. By that night, the mayor
was urging everybody to stay where they were. Mary Kathryn didn't want
to stay where she was. She wanted to go to her apartment and make sure
everybody was okay and to let them know she wasn't dead. She didn't see
Pete again until early the next morning. He briefly came back to the apartment
and ordered her to go to Queens to stay with his family with his reasoning
being that it was too crazy in Manhattan.
So, this
was where she stood for the moment. She glanced around Pete's room with
his Mets banners and boyhood memorabilia. The house had been like Grand
Central Station with people calling or coming by all day. So far, Pete's
brothers and uncles were safe. The same couldn't be said, however, of several
men in Pete's ladder company. Several of them were dead or missing.
She was
asleep that night when she felt arms slip around her and pull her close.
"You smell smokey," she murmured as she rolled over into Pete's familiar
embrace.
"I always
smell smokey. I'm a fireman," he reminded her as he kissed her. "Were you
able to reach your parents?"
"Yeah,
I called my dad and my mom was there with him. It was very strange. Are
you okay?" She asked as she noted how tired he looked.
"It's
like Hell on earth down there, Mary Kathryn. I'm going to catch a couple
of hours of sleep, then I'm going to head back out there," he yawned as
his eyes drifted closed.
"Pete,
I want to go home," she whispered as she blinked back tears.
"You can't
go back to the apartment. The police aren't letting anybody back into TriBeCa.
The power's off in a lot of areas down there and everything's covered with
ashes and soot," he informed her, misunderstanding her.
"I don't
mean home to Manhattan. I mean home to Los Angeles. I want to be with my
family," she stressed as he opened his eyes to look at her.
"Do we
have to discuss this now? Mary Kathryn, I know you want to be with your
family, but I need you here. Besides, how are you going to get there? The
airport's are all closed. I'd take you if I could, but I doubt my old Jeep
would even make it out of New York state. We can talk about this in a few
days, when things calm down a little," he promised as his eyes once again
closed.
"When
things calm down? Pete, last night there was nobody on the FDR! I've never
seen the FDR with no traffic! There are warships in New York Harbor!
I don't know about you, but I don't like seeing warships protecting my
home! What's next? The National Guard and dark to dawn curfews? I want
to go home where at least everything is semi-normal!" She shouted as she
sat up in bed.
"Mary
Kathryn, I'm tired. We're all more than a little stressed out. Starting
Friday, I'm probably going to be attending more funerals and memorial services
than I even want to think about right now. Let's go to sleep and we can
talk about this more in a day or two. Believe me, the craziness will die
down some. Now, please calm down before you wake my old man up," he urged
her as she reluctantly lay back down beside him.
"Does
he know you're sleeping in here with me?" She suddenly asked as he audibly
sighed.
"He's
okay with it, Mary Kathryn. Now, if my mother were alive, she might have
something to say, but my dad's with the times. Please go to sleep. I love
you," he said as he kissed her good-night and once again closed his eyes.
Los Angeles-Friday,
September 15, 2001
Jill had
an early morning consult at UCLA Children's Hospital with Dr. Sajay and
his colleagues regarding Shelby's condition. Dr. Sajay led her into a room
with a huge round table. There were several doctors already sitting around
when Jill walked in.
"Mrs.
Danko, good morning. Would you like a cup of coffee?" Dr. Sajay asked her
as she nodded. He pointed her over to a corner table where she found a
coffee urn and a stack of styrofoam cups. She fixed her coffee and sat
down in one of the vacant chairs at the table.
"We have
spent several days discussing Shelby's condition. We feel that in spite
of the pancreatitis, surgery should be done as quickly as possible. We
have scheduled her for next Wednesday morning, the 19th. You
should bring her up here the day before to be admitted," Dr. Sajay continued
as Jill tried to comprehend what he was saying.
"How long
will she be in surgery?" Jill asked in a hoarse whisper.
"Anywhere
from five hours to nine hours. It all depends on how complicated the procedure
to reverse the arteries happens to be. In some children, it can be done
quickly, while in others, it takes more time. Let me assure you that I
don't see a repeat of what happened four years ago," he assured her.
"Please
be sure to mark it on her chart that she is deaf. She's going to be frightened
enough when she awakens without a strange person trying to shout at her,"
Jill ordered the doctor as he made a notation on her chart.
"It is
so noted. Please bring her up here at eight o'clock next Tuesday morning,
so that we can get the necessary pre-operative tests performed," he told
Jill as she nodded.
"How long
will she be here?" Jill asked.
"At least
five days. We will try to get her out of bed the evening of her surgery.
The reason for this is. . ." he started to say as Jill interrupted.
"The chance
of blood clots forming in her legs. I'm a nurse. I already know this,"
she sighed as she stood up to leave.
That night,
Jill sat in a chair in Terry's spare room holding the little girl who was
busying herself playing with Jill's necklace. Terry sensed that Jill wanted
to be alone, so he was in the living room watching TV. Jill sat there watching
the little girl playing with the gold chain and remembered back to when
she'd first learned about her condition.
Shelby
had been two days old. Her and Mike had learned right away that there was
something wrong with the baby's heart, but they didn't know what. At the
moment, they were still dealing with the decision of whether or not to
disconnect Savannah from life support. Mike wanted to do it, while Jill
was holding on to hope that maybe there was enough of her left to wake
up and see her daughter. The doctors had promised them that they'd perform
more tests, but they didn't hold out much hope.
One
of the NICU doctors came out and asked to talk to Mike and Jill regarding
the baby's condition. At that time, she still didn't have a name. He introduced
them to the pediatric cardiologist, Dr. Wong, who sat them down in a corner
of the waiting area.
"Your
granddaughter is suffering from two separate congenital heart defects,
which is a good thing," he pointed out.
"How
can that be a good thing?" Jill asked in a strangled voice.
"Because
without the second one, there would be nothing we could do for her. The
main defect is called Transposition of the Great Arteries or Great Vessels.
Her pulmonary artery and her aorta are reversed. Blood can go into her
heart, but instead of pumping back out, it goes into her lungs, which is
what is causing her to be so blue. She's not getting enough oxygenated
blood. The second defect and the one that is essentially allowing
her to live is called Ventricular Septal Defect. This is a hole between
the lower two chambers of the heart which is allowing the oxygenated and
non-oxygenated blood to mix. Without it, she would go into Congestive Heart
Failure within several days and she would die. When she is older, we will
go in and switch the arteries to their proper position and close the VSD,"
he promised them.
"How
much older?" Jill asked, still stunned by the news.
"Probably
not until she reaches early school age, five or six years old. However,
we will need to perform surgery when she's several months old to insert
a shunt that will improve the mixing of the blood. The shunt will be removed
when the later surgery is performed," Dr. Wong continued as Mike and Jill
tried to absorb the information.
Jill was
about to get up and go to bed when her cell phone rang. She looked at the
caller id and was slightly annoyed to see that it was Mike calling her
once again. They hadn't had this many conversations in the almost two years
since the divorce. "Hello?" She sighed into the phone, wondering what he
wanted this time.
"Hi. Listen,
we're heading off to New Orleans for a few days and Eddie suggested that
it might be easier for you to stay out here at the house with Michael rather
than having him stay there in Terry's apartment," Mike rambled as Jill
tried to digest what he was saying.
"Who's
going to New Orleans and when?" Jill asked.
"We're
flying out tomorrow morning. Me, Eddie and Willie. I'm not sure how long
we're going to be gone. It's a case we're working on. Eddie thought you
might want to stay out here since you'd have more room to move around,"
Mike said.
"Do you
think you'll be back in town by Wednesday morning? Shelby's having her
surgery and I'd really like for you to be here with me," Jill told him.
"I don't
know how long it'll take to get everything wrapped up in New Orleans. I
can try, that's all I can do," he promised.
"Aren't
you worried about getting on a plane?" Jill asked.
"Well,
I figure if I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go," he dead-panned as Jill rolled
her eyes.
"That's
not funny," she hissed.
"I'm sorry.
Look, Michael's staying over at Trap's tonight, so you'll need to call
and have Trap send him to the house when you get here. I'll call you when
we get to the hotel and give you the information," he hung up before Jill
could ask him anything else.
Terry
was gone the next morning when Jill got up, so she left him a note and
his spare keys before she packed up hers and Shelby's belongings and headed
back to Laurel Canyon. She was watching cartoons with Shelby when Michael
walked in.
"How long
is dad going to be gone?" He asked sullenly as he sat down and stared at
the TV.
"I don't
know. He didn't say. Maybe we can call Mary Kathryn later," Jill suggested
as her son kicked at the floor.
"I found
a bunch of tapes in the cellar when I was here for summer vacation. Dad
made me turn them off. Can I go down and get them?" He asked.
"What
tapes, Michael?" Jill wanted to know.
"Some
tapes that have me and the girls on them when we were kids," Jill smiled
at her son's phrasing. "Can we watch them?"
Jill nodded,
so Michael raced down to the cellar and brought some of the tapes up. Jill
smiled as she saw the girls as they looked when her and Mike had first
adopted Michelle and Savannah. She couldn't believe how small they looked.
She pointed Savannah out to Shelby.
"Is she
going to visit me in the hospital?" The little girl signed as Michael looked
at her in disgust.
"How can
she visit you? She's dead, stupid!" He signed back angrily.
"Michael!"
Jill looked at him with a warning look as he turned off the VCR and ejected
the tape.
"We tell
her all the time that her mother's dead and she still asks stupid questions
like that!" He shouted back.
"Michael,
she's four years old. She doesn't understand death," Jill tried to explain
to him.
"Then
take her to the cemetery," he insisted as Jill felt herself cringe inside.
Lying
in bed that night, she thought about what Michael had said that afternoon
about taking Shelby to the cemetery. Jill herself hadn't been to the grave
site in a long time. She found herself wondering if taking the little girl
was really a good idea, but then she decided that maybe her son had a point.
He'd been barely five years old when Savannah had died and she remembered
he hadn't really understood the finality of his sister's death until they'd
made the mistake of taking him to the funeral home the day of the rosary.
She'd tried to tell Mike that taking him wasn't a good idea, but he'd argued
back by saying that Mary Kathryn had been perfectly all right after Matthew's
funeral so long ago.
Mike was
wrong. The minute the little boy saw his sister lying so still and pale
in that casket, he'd started shrieking and crying. Mike finally had to
remove him kicking and screaming from the room. It had taken weeks for
him to return to normal. Later, Jill added it to her list of things she
could never forgive her husband for.
The next
morning, Jill decided it was time to pay a visit to Savannah's grave site.
She loaded the kids into the car and first made a stop to a florist to
pick up a bouquet of white roses, Savannah's favorites. She then continued
to the cemetery. Even though she hadn't been there in a long time, she
knew the location of the grave like the back of her hand. She parked the
car and removed Shelby from her car seat, as Michael got out on the other
side. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to where Savannah was buried
beside the stillborn brother she'd never met. She noticed that there were
fresh flowers on the ground in front of the headstone, indicating that
probably Michelle had been there recently. She put her flowers on the other
side and looked at Shelby who was standing solemnly beside her.
"This
is where your mother is. She can't ever come visit you. But, if you ever
want to, you can come and visit her," Jill signed as tears threatened to
take over.
Shelby
walked in front of the headstone and traced the letters with her fingers.
"She'll never come back?" She asked Jill.
"No,"
Jill replied.
"It's
pretty here," Shelby looked around at the flowers and trees as Jill smiled.
"Yes,
it is," Jill agreed.
"Do you
think mommy would've liked me?" Shelby asked.
"Shelby,
your mommy would've loved you," Jill signed with shaking fingers as she
hugged the little girl tightly.
Jill took
the kids for ice cream before heading back to the house. Shortly after
returning home, the phone rang. Jill answered it to find Michelle on the
other end.
"Is daddy
there?" Michelle asked.
"No, he
had to go out of town for a few days," Jill told her oldest daughter.
"Just
tell him I called," Michelle said, in a hurry to get off of the phone.
"Michelle?
Thank you for coming over the other night and taking care of Shelby," Jill
thanked her as she tried to keep her on the line.
"Well,
none of the guys knew what to do," Michelle told her mother as the line
went dead.
As Jill
put the receiver back down, she wondered how she was going to repair the
huge rift that separated all of them. She wanted them all to be friends
again.