Xander: "Okay, big yuks. When are you guys gonna' stop making fun of me for dating Cordelia?"
Buffy: "I'm sorry...but never. I just think you could find somebody more...better."

Willow: "My boyfriend's in the band."
Amy: "Cool."
Buffy: "I think you've now told everybody."
Willow: "Only in this hemisphere."

Buffy: "Oh, Valentine's Day is just a cheap gimmick to sell cards and chocolates."
Amy: "Bad break-up, huh?"
Buffy: "Believe me when I say, 'uh-huh'."

Giles: "Might I have a word?"
Buffy: "Have a sentence, even."

Angel: "Dear Buffy. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards."
Spike: "Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression."
Angel: "Lacks...poetry."
Spike: "It doesn't have to. What rhymes with 'lungs'?"

Buffy: "Why don't you and I do something together tonight? Just the two of us."
Xander: "Really?"
Buffy: "Yeah. We can comfort each other."
Xander: "Would lap dancing enter into that scenario at all? 'Cause I find that very comforting."
Buffy: "Play your cards right..."
Xander: "Okay, uh, you do know that I'm Xander, right?"

Willow: "Sorry. I wanted to surprise you."
Xander: "Good job! High marks."
Willow: "Don't be so jumpy. I've been in your bed before."
Xander: "Yeah, but Will, we were both in footy pajamas."

Cordelia: "Oh, God, what have I done?! They're never going to speak to me again!"
Xander: "Oh, sure they are. If it helps, whenever we're around them, you and I can fight a lot."
Cordelia: "You promise?"
Xander: "You can pretty much count on it."

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