Mayor Wilkins: "A package is arriving tomorrow night from Central America. Something - and I can't stress this enough - something crucially important to my ascension. Without it... well, what would tollhouse cookies be without the chocolate chips? A pretty darn big disappointment, I can tell you!"

Buffy: "Well, there's something you don't see every day. Unless, of course, you're me."
Angel: "That was bracing. Wanna do another sweep?"
Buffy: "It's what I live for - sad to say."

Buffy: "But you - I can't believe you got into Oxford!"
Willow: "It's pretty exciting."
Oz: "There's some deep academia there."
Buffy: "That's where they make Gileses!"
Willow: "I know. I could learn, and have scones."

Xander: "Kerouac. He's my teacher. The open road, my school."
Buffy: "Making the open dumpster your cafeteria?"
Xander: "Go ahead, mock me."
Oz: "I think she just did."
Xander: "We bohemian, anti-establishment types have always been persecuted."
Oz: "Well, sure, you're all so weird."
Willow: "I think it's neat, you doing the back-pack, trail mix, happy wanderer thing."
Xander: "I'm aware it scores kinda high on the hokey-meter, but I think it'll be good for me, help me to find myself."
Cordelia: "And help us to lose you. Everyone's a winner."
Xander: "Well, look who just popped open a fresh can of venom. Hey, did you hear about Willow getting into Oxnard?"
Willow: "Oxford."
Xander: "And M.I.T., and Yale, and every other college on the face of the planet? As in your face, I rub it."
Cordelia: "Oxford. Whoopee. Four years in teabag central. Sounds thrilling. And M.I.T. is a clearasil ad with housing, and Yale is a dumping ground for those who didn't get into Harvard."
Willow: "I got into Harvard."

Buffy: "You guys, don't forget to breathe between insults."
Cordelia: "I'm sorry, Buffy, this conversation is reserved for those who actually have a future."

Buffy: "Unfortunately, that's all I could get out of my informant before his aggressive tendencies forced me to introduce him to Mr. Pointy."

Wesley: "We need time to fully analyze the situation, and devise a proper and strategic stratagem."
Buffy: "Wes, hop on the train, or get off the tracks."
Wesley: "The mayor will most assuredly have supernatural safeguards protecting the box. Oh, we all forgot about that, did we?"
Buffy: "Looks like a job for wiccan-girl. What do you say, Will? Big time danger."
Willow: "Hey, I eat danger for breakfast."
Xander: "But, oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods."

Wesley: "This box must be destroyed."
Xander: "I need a volunteer to hit Wesley."

Hench-Vamp: What are you doing?"
Willow: "I'm looking for a sucking candy. 'Cause my mouth gets dry when I'm nervous, or held prisoner against my will. And suddenly I'm thinking 'sucking' isn't a good word to use around vampires. Hey! Did you get permission to eat the hostage? I don't think so."

Willow: "What do you mean, I can't?"
Buffy: "I won't let you."
Willow: "Of the two people here, which is the boss of me?"

Buffy: "He doesn't even know what a lasting relationship is."
Angel: "No."
Buffy: "Probably the only lasting relationship he's ever had is with... evil."
Angel: "Yeah."
Buffy: "Big, stupid, evil guy."

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