Ms. Calendar: "It's a secret."
Giles: "What kind of a secret?"
Ms. Calendar: "Uh, the kind that's secret."

Xander: "Aww, you just need cheering up, and I know just the thing: crazed dance party at the Bronze!"
Buffy: "Oh no."
Xander: "Very calm dance party at the Bronze?"

Willow: "Buffy, Ford was just telling us about the ninth grade beauty contest, and the, uh, swimsuit competition."
Buffy: "Oh my God, Ford, stop that. The more people you tell, the more people I have to kill."
Ford: "You can't touch me, Summers. I know all your darkest secrets."
Xander: "Care to make a small wager on that?"

Ford: "What's goin' on?"
Buffy: "Um, uh, there's a-a cat...a cat, here...and, um, then there was another cat...and they fought...the cats...and...then they left."
Ford: "Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire."
Buffy: "What?! What-ing a what?!"

Buffy: "Are you drinking coffee again, 'cause we've talked about this."
Willow: "Hahaha, ha-it makes me jumpy. I...have to go...away."
Ford: "Nice girl."
Buffy: "There aren't two of those in the world."

Willow: "Boy, we blend right in."
Xander: "In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs."
Angel: "Let's look around. You guys check out downstairs."
Xander: "Sure thing, Bossy the Cow."
Willow: "Okay, but do they really stick out?"
Xander: "What?"
Willow: "Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, Wow! That baby is sore!"
Xander: "You have too many thoughts."

Buffy: "I am trying to save you. You are playing in some serious traffic here, do
you understand that? You're going to die, and the only hope you have of
surviving this is to get out of this pit right now and my God could you have a
dorkier outfit?"

Giles: "You mean life?"
Buffy: "Yeah. Does it get easy?"
Giles: "What do you want me to say?"
Buffy: "Lie to me."
Giles: "Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The
bad guys are easily distinguished by the pointy horns or black hats. And, uh,
we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives
happily ever after."
Buffy: "Liar."

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