Heart of Darkness
If you can't stand the heat, then maybe you should get the HELL out of my kitchen!!" (Xena to Eve)
I just finished watching the Heart of Darkness. They might as well have named the episode
"The Subtexters Have a Field Day" or "How I Learned to Stop Warrioring and Love the
Bard."
Let me qualify these comments by saying I'm still a little shocked, surprised, and perplexed.
Usually, I catch on to Xena's schemes fairly early on, but I was pretty well intrigued until the
final few moments. I know there are going to be a lot of people who have a problem with the
setup for this episode. I mean, Lucifer was cast out of heaven BEFORE creation, and now,
according to the Xenaverse, our Warrior Princess was actually the one responsible.
I am able to overlook these inconsistencies though, and it didn't stop me from enjoying a
riproaring episode. Xena, Gabrielle, and Virgil were most convincing in this episode!! Wow!!
I'm still overwhelmed!!
Xena in particular, was the most enigmatic. She seemed extremely happy during this episode,
despite the fact that Eve saw her heart growing blacker and blacker. I nearly went into
convulsions when Xena cuddled up to Lucifer and said, "Do you mind if I call you Lucy?"
Hysterical!! I kept expecting her to say, "I like the sound of that name"!
Xena's goal, was to get this handsome devil (hee hee, love that pun!), Lucifer, to commit the
Seven Deadly Sins, and as a result, condemn himself to rule in Hell. It took Xena to point out
to him that since he was an Archangel commiting those sins, that was his punishment. He was
trying to whine (is whining a deadly sin?) that men sin everyday. Lucifer was obviously no
man!
But oh man, the paths Xena took to get him there! Whoa! Seems while she was in Egypt, she
learned a few tricks about Egyptian massage! Heh heh! And by the end of the episode, she had
him declaring as Satan, "I'm still hot for you, Xena"! The dialogue in this episode was very
well-written, and the performances, well, I think they're some of the best ever, and I'm firmly
convinced there is NO bettter acting than on Xena every week.
Can you tell I'm wound up over this one? Ah, yes, the subtext...let me say that I'm in the
camp that subscribes to the fact that Xena and Gabs do NOT have a sexual relationship, but
after watching this hour, I'm not so sure! My first clue, and yes, I'm spoiling the heck out of
this episode, so don't read on if you'll regret it!!!!!...was when Xena and Lucifer were
comparing how much they were alike (or different), and Lucifer comments Xena is a "mortal
female with a lying tongue, savage tendancies, and a blonde girlfriend" while he was a "celibate
in service with the Lord ". I let that comment mull over in my mind as I continued to watch.
Then all bets were off at the little party Xena's new worshippers, (Gabs and Virgil included),
when Xena gets up to take center stage. She gestures for Gabrielle to join her, and the two
share a dance that would not exactly qualifiy for American Bandstand. Uh, I've seen some
touches between Xena and Gabrielle, but I've never seen Gabrielle run her hands up and down
Xena's body or Xena throwing her head back in uh...well, it wasn't disappointment! Virgil
steps up then, and moves as if he wants to kiss Xena (!??!) but Xena "urges" him to couple
with Gabrielle, who doesn't resist, while she does the tango with Lucifer. With man or woman,
I don't care, LL burns up the screen and Gabrielle and Virgil aren't exactly just "laying back
and taking it". Yeouch! I couldn't help thinking I was seeing this episode the day after Renee's
wedding, and I fervently hope her new husband didn't see it!
The next segment sees Xena take on a few archangels while dressed in a very brief
costume...the guys are sure to appreciate it. When I say "take on", I'm referring to fighting...so
for any of you with minds in the gutter, sorry! Xena and Lucifer share a few mouth clenches
which definitely wakes up their taste buds, but apparently there will be no baby devils nine
months later. That doesn't stop this from being one of the steamiest hours on television. The
first deadly sin Lucifer succumbs to is pride, and that's pride that he is well-endowed, egged on
by Xena, in her subtle (yeah, right) way.
But I digress...the final subtext moment that got me thinking is at the very end. It didn't
surprise me how this episode turned out, but the manner in which arrived did. But I think it's
safe for me to assume anyone reading this has figured out Xena is successful in her goal. So
after all is said and done, Xena hugs Eve, and there's the obligatory apology dialogue, then there
are some looks between Xena and Gabrielle that still have me quite puzzled. I've never seen
this kind of silent exchange between them that raised so many questions in my mind, and I've
studied their expressions a lot. I would swear Xena is very curious and not too happy about
what may or may not have transpired between Gabrielle and Virgil. I do believe I see a little
jealousy there. And the final exchange between our mortal woman and her blonde girlfriend is:
G: I thought I'd lost you for a minute there...
X: Yeah? Which minute was that?
G: You and Lucifer were looking...a little... (insert the appropriate hand guesture
for "hotter than hell" here)
X: Gabrielle, everytime I felt myself starting to lose control, I just thought of you,
brought me back home.
G: Really?
X: Sure.
G: Don't go getting all emotional on me, Xena.
Make of it what you will, I'm still working on it...
Add to all these scenes a crushed scorpion, a couple of cool sword battles, and a few lines like
"that's what happens when you let a demon redecorate...the more you drink...the better it looks" (Xena to Lucifer), and "You look tastier than ever" (Virgil-man, is he hot! to Gabrielle),
and "Red is definitely your color" (Lucy, I mean Lucifer to Xena), and you have a first class
XWP that has catapulted it's way well into my personal top ten. I'm going to be very interested
to read other's comments after they view these episodes. I can see them now..."Lucifer wasn't
supposed to be stupid" (Yes he is, he's fighting the eternal losing battle, you don't get stupider
than that)..."They're taking the Biblical story of the Downfall too far out of context" (it's
television...be entertained), and "When did Eve become a human X-ray machine?" (Well,
actually, I can't answer that one, because she's a little sourpuss in this episode who does
suddenly inherit Superman's visional qualitities). And the most burning question of all, "Why
in the world did Xena stay in that plastic mask for so long?" (I think it's the dumb hat from the
Bitter Suite popping back up to haunt her).
You know, I'm watching this episode again, and I do believe that dance scene is going to be
one of the most talked about scenes ever. Xena's commanding non-verbal "come here" to
Gabrielle is unbelievable! I think my keyboard just burst into flames!
Okay, I've rambled on enough...(did I mention the fact that I felt that Xena and Michael,
despite being on opposite sides, had incredible respect for each other). I think Michael knew
they really weren't on opposite sides; he just couldn't figure out Xena's tactics. A lot of viewers
won't either, but this definitely isn't an episode to be taken seriously and analyzed. It's there
to be enjoyed!
Here's Gary's take on the episode:
This show really bothered me in a lot of ways....it is the second part
of The Haunting of Amphipolis,in which Xena is involved with
super-demons and who is going to rule Hell.
First: the good points.The scene in the woods at night where Lucifer and
Xena are chasing Eve/Livia towards the temple.Great scenery and it gave
the sense of unreality.
Xena asking if she can call Lucifer "Lucy"...nice pun.
The sword fights were some of the best ever done,with Eve and Xena at
their best.
The costuming and music were good,also.
Second: what was wrong:
Where do I begin? This show has become so disjointed that it is hardly
recognizable as the show we loved for ther first three years.
As usual,Michael and Raphael are standing around,as in Haunting,saying
Xena has a tough job. They knew how important it was to close the portal
to hell,and that Xena must take over down there if she kills
Mephistopholes...the Big "M".They knew how much of a threat Xena
is,since she almost took over Heaven in Fallen Angel.Why didn't they try
to kill her? Besides,she gets her god-killing ability from Eve being
alive.If Eve dies,the Gods are safe. In Heart of Darkness,again,these
two angels know Xena may win and take over both Heaven and Hell,but do
nothing.Later in the show,they do try to kill her,or knock her into the
portal.Why didn't they just attack in force with all they had?
Everyone gets corrupted except Eve (who can see each person's heart
getting dark with evil) and the girl who petted Argo...she seemed
immune,too.
There is the argument with all the poor folk in the square...poor,but
they seem to have all kinds of extravagant
decorations,dancers,food,drink,in the dance-semi-orgy scene,which was
just an annoying waste of film....all to corrupt Lucifer? Where did poor
people get this stuff? Since when is dancing and having some wine
sinful,deserving of Hell?
The reference to Gabby as Xena's "blonde girlfreind"...and the dance
with Xena and Gab...I guess for the subtext people.At the end,when Xena
was asked by Gab how she resisted Lucifer's attentions,she said "I just
thought of you".
Gripes: Xena looking like her spread in Maxim Magazine,with her butt
showing a little in the short-shorts during the sword fight with
Michael.She had high-heel boots.....even Gab had high heels,too.Eye
candy is fine,but this was just too gratuitous.
How did Xena know about the seven deadly sins? This is 18B.C. by
now....25 years after being frozen and a year since they died on the
cross in season four.
The angels knew Lucifer would try to kill Xena and send her to hell(to
rule) and almost certainly take over Heaven....why didn't they join him
then? They did join him,a three-on-one attack on Xena later,and then
Lucifer changed sides,and it was two-on-two, and Mike and Raf leave.
When were we told that Xena has the power to kill angels? We only knew
she could kill gods (Greek gods only?).
Virgil says all the gods are dead....what about Aphrodite? Cupid? Even
Ares is a god who lost his powers(again).
If the tavern is the opening to hell and is haunted,why didn't the
townspeople burn the place to the ground and cover the portal?
Besides,at the temple,most likely to Eli,there is another portal.Since
when did they make temples to men instead of gods?Also,the place is
huge...look at the stairway to it....how could the poor of Amphipolis do
all this?
Michael says Xena has become the Big M....that was a nonsense line.
When Lucifer appears to Xena,it was the worst ever of being suspended by
a wire....it should have been re-shot to stop the obvious swinging.
If this was an elaborate set-up by Xena and Gab to corrupt Lucifer,when
did they get the time to get this party arranged,with their corrupt
black hearts? Where did all the good-looking "townspeople " come from?
We saw plain folks in the street before.
Why,at the party,do the angels appear(about five of them) to
kill Xena? Why THEN? Why not kill Eve and Xena when they had the
chance,in force? They stand around and come at Xena one at a
time,sometimes two....she kicks butt.What kind of warriors are these
guys....the best Heaven has?
Why didn't they help the Big M kill Xena in the Haunting,if that's what
they wanted?
Xena says to kill the messenger (Eve)...this is the first time I have
heard mention of her being that.All we have been told is that Xena can
kill gods as long as Eve is alive. Eve could have been killed by Lucifer
in the swordfight in an instant...Xena,from where she was standing,could
not have stopped it in time.
Witness how Eve had killed Joxer without Xena stopping it.
What was the significance of the swords in the temple of peace?
It was said that the only thing left of Xena was their memory of
her....she is corrupted,but says at the end something about love
winning.(Even with the dark heart).
This episode left me with a feeling of pity for the show which used to
be so great.The best show ever done,in my opinion,was One Against An
Army,with Paradise Found a close second.Those shows were done with care
and the characters still were as we knew them...the two best characters
by the two best television actresses today.
What a waste of their talents.This show has gone downhill but I will
continue to watch in case there is another gem like Paradise Found that
comes along.
Any comments about this are certainly welcome
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