Norma and Wilbur finally decided they would go see if they could find out anything from the other neighbors. I just sat there on the doorstep, letting myself drown in my misery. I knew this place.
I sank into a reverie. I saw the little boys, me, my brothers, my family, their family, all outside running around. I saw us trying to climb up trees. You wouldn't think that at 2 you could have a memory, but I saw it, and remembered it. I felt as though my life were collapsing, and God was cursing me.
I'd spent hours and hours and hours trying to find this house. Now they were gone. Where were they? I didn't know. I was mad at them, and myself, and the dumb thing that caused my house to burn, and my family to go down with it. I banged my head on the wall.
I sat there for a long time, just banging my head on the wall. Then I realized my migraine. I leaned forward, and dumped my head into my hands. I tried to massage my forehead, but the pain didn't let up…
It was then that I heard the tires roll into the driveway. I looked up, and there was a van. I saw a man step out of the passenger seat. An older guy, probably 17 or 18, stepped out of the driver's side, and tossed the older man the keys over the hood. A stream of kids poured out the side of the van, and a lady with blond hair followed them.
I watched in amazement as the family milled around the back of the van, grabbing bags, suitcases, boxes. I stood up to see better. I knew it was them, but I couldn't bring myself to say a word.
It's sort of like seeing ghosts. People you haven't seen in years. People that you had forgotten about. People that probably thought they'd never see you again. People that cared no matter what. I watched for a while.
Then one of the kids looked up at me. He was tall and lanky. His long blond hair brushed his shoulders, and his blue eyes looked up at me, fathomlessly.
They were soon filled with horror, and he dropped every bag he had in his hands.
"Taylor, Good Lord, what is.." the blond lady began to nag him, but then followed his gaze to me. She dropped her bags. She pulled her husband to her side, and he looked up at me too. I watched as the boy who had been driving came around.
"What's up?" he asked. The other boy pointed. Now, the older guy was staring at me, too. Soon, the younger kids began to crowd around their older brothers, their parents, asking questions.
"Who's the girl?"
"What's she doing here?"
"Why are you looking at her like that?"
I felt tears daring to stream down my cheeks again, but I forced them back. Not yet, I told myself. Just then, the tall lanky boy smiled. It was an unforgettable smile. I knew I had seen it a million times, and it was all for his best friend.
He tore forward, and I thrust myself forward too. We met someplace in between, and hugged. Now, I told myself, and I let the floodgates open. We pulled back and I could see he was crying too.
"Jessie," he said. He hugged me again, and within instants, my other familiars had surrounded me. We were a tangle of arms, legs, and hair. I'll almost bet someone driving down the road would have asked, "Who are the blubbering idiots?", but no one seemed to care.
Memories now swept back without the gray haze, without the dismal sense of loss. I felt warm, and peaceful. I could live now; I was breathing, eating, sleeping. I never wanted to let go of these people. I couldn't remember their names, but I knew they were members of my family. We weren't related by anything but the past, and our memories.
Finally, we loosened our embraces.
"Jessie Gutner," the lady said, and she looked me up and down. "It's really you. I've wondered what happened to you. I wondered how well things came out for you…" She gave me a grave, sad smile, then took my hand.
"Do you remember all of us?" she asked. I didn't answer, but instead began to study their faces. The tall, lanky boy with shiny blond hair. He looked at me with concern. It read in his eyes. I gave him a smile. He grinned back, and his eyes unclouded. I saw the same eyes that I had seen so many years ago.
"Jordie," I said, and gave him a hug. He laughed, though I had no idea why.
"Do they still call you Jessie?" he asked. I smiled and shook my head.
"Lynni," I said. He smiled.
"Taylor," he said, and he extended his hand. I shook it. I don't know why, but it seemed appropriate. We knew each other so well, but we still had to shake hands, as though we were first meeting.
I looked to the older boy. His wavy locks were pulled back in a loose pony tail. He had brown eyes, and they were full of laughter. I saw a vague picture of a boy standing next to one of my brothers...Jonathan, I think...and then squirting me with a waterhose. Then I saw two women, one the pretty blond lady who held my hand, run up and reprimand the older boys. However, I was at a loss for a name.
"I have a feeling you don't remember me very well," he said. "Isaac."
I smiled, and shook his hand.
"Of course," the lady said, "I'm Diana, and this is Walker." I shook the man's hand, but Diana still had a tight hold on mine. The baby Walker was holding cooed.
"This is the baby," he said, and wiped some of the dribble off her chin.
"And these are Zac," she said, pointing at a long-haired blond boy, "Jessie, Avie, and Mack."
"Zac was born just after you left. Jessie was semi-named after you. Her full name is Jessica."
I smiled at them. They looked to their mother quizzically.
"Guys," she said, "this is Jessie, I mean Lynni, Gutner? No. What is your name now?"
"If you like, you can call me Jessie still, though that might get to be confusing. It's Lynni Turner."
"Okay, then." She turned back to the 3 children. "This is Lynni Turner. She lived next door with the Gutners. That was a long time ago. After her house burnt, she moved away, and lived with another family."
They nodded, and smiled. I heard Norma and Wilbur coming around the bushes, snapping at each other. I laughed a bit.
"Well, well," Norma said.
"So you found 'em, eh?" Wilbur said. I giggled.
"Diana, Walker, this is Norma and Wilbur Watkins. Norma, Wilbur, this is Diana and Walker, um…"
"Hanson," Walker said. They shook hands.
"Pleased to meet you."
"The pleasure is all mine."
"They drove me here. Helped me find you," I told them.
"Ohh," Diana said.
"So where are your-uh-parents?" Taylor asked, looking confused.
"They're at home. I'll explain later," I said.
"Okay," Diana said. "Let's go inside."
We all grabbed a few bags, and went in the front door. A blast of memories hit me. But I was happy. I sat the bags down, and looked around. I couldn't believe that nothing had changed. Nothing.
"Sit. We'll unpack later," Diana said, and patted the couch beside her.
The whole family, the Watkins, and I sat down around their living room. I started to tell them the whole thing from the beginning. They looked at me, attentive and caring. After a while, I sat back. My story was finished. The journey was over. Or maybe it had just started?
I felt someone toying with my hair, and looked to see it was Jordie-I mean Taylor. He was twisting it around his finger, then dropping it, watching it uncoil like it was magic. I sighed. I was home.