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I borrowed a handful of videos from Dave and Emily because I needed something to review, and ever since we got cable, we haven' been renting videos (which is why we got cable in the first place). Anyway, one of the movies that really spoke to me (the way bad movies do) was Sylvester Stallone's Daylight. I went to look it up on IMDb, and I was amazed at how many good reviews it got. It was horrendous. Ok, here's what happened:
We start off with a couple burly, manly men arranging to have a bunch of trucks transport toxic chemicals through the Hudson tunnel. We also meet a group of punk jewel thieves who steal an expensive car and escape into the Hudson tunnel. Now that the disaster is set up, let's introduce the cast. There's the love interest, played by "Judging" Amy Brenneman, who is sick of New York, so she leaves through the Hudson tunnel. There's the vacationing family, which is videotaping all the great landmarks from the car, and they decide to go through the Hudson tunnel. There's the prison bus that's transporting prisoners to New Jersey via the Hudson tunnel, and then there's the elderly couple and their dog, who are going home through the Hudson tunnel. There's also the snobby, rich tennis shoe guy, played by Viggo Mortensen. He has a meeting to get to, and the best way to get there is through, you guessed it, the Hudson tunnel. We also have George, the security guard, who works in the Hudson Tunnel. George has a love intereset, and he promises to give her a really nice bracelet after work. He's also black, which means he's going to die. Finally, we have the hero, played by Sylvester Stallone, who is a taxi driver. He's not just a taxi driver, though. He's a taxi driver with a mysterious past. He's heading toward the Hudson tunnel.
Ok, we have the setup, and we've met the cast. Now it's time for the story to start. Predictably, the jewel thieves crash ingto one of the toxic waste trucks, and there's a big explosion. A giant fireball shoots through the tunnel, burning everything in its path. Now, if you know anything about fire, you know that it consumes oxygen. Since the tunnel is filled with oxygen, and the fireball consumes eveything in the tunnel, you'd think it also consumes all the oxygen, right? Well, no. In fact, they still have plenty of oxygen, three hours' worth, to be precise. But I digress. Everyone in the cast is still alive, and they're starting to band together. Meanwhile, Stallone is on the surface doing what he can to help out. Evidently, he used to work with the emergency crew until something bad happened, and one thing he had to do was a test to see how it would be possible to get out if, say, the Hudson tunnel were to be sealed off at both ands because of a giant toxic fireball. Naturally, no one wants to listen to him, but, since he's Stallone, and this is his movie, he makes himself heard. They finally agree to let him go in and help. There's just one thing: He can't get out the way he went in because that would make the movie too easy. To make things more difficult, the tunnel starts to flood.
Meanwhile, inside the tunnel, all the survivors are together. Viggo has found a way that might get them up and out of the tunnel. Luckily for him, he takes his climbing gear with him wherever he goes. So, he's climbing up a shaft of some kind. Also, "Judging" Amy has let the prisoners out of the prison bus. Sooner or later, Stallone shows up, and everyone is thrilled, until they find out there's no rescue team. Oh, and one of the prisoners has decreed that he is in charge. He does this by saying, "I'm in charge!" a lot. That's really all he does. So, Stallone says fine. Viggo's still gonna die, so he goes in after Viggo. Viggo tells Stallone that he was born 6 weeks premature, and even his own mama couldn't keep him in, and there's no way some wussy city worker is going to. Then everything collapses, and, just like in every other cliche, the least-likeable character is the first to die. Shortly after Viggo gets it, the burly prisoner gets killed, too. I guess that's what happens when you're in charge.
Back on the surface, the mayor, or somebody who must be related to the mayor in Jaws, has decreed that everybody in the tunnel is probably dead, so they should start digging through the rubble and not worry about the tunnel collapsing.
At this point, everyone in the tunnel is looking for a way out, and they keep running into little hardships and obstacles and whatnot. The vactioning parents are constantly expressing their doubts about Stallone, since the mom had read somewhere that he was involved in a scandal where people died. So the dad is all, "We don't know if we can trust you." And Stallone is like, "Well, I'm only trying to help." And the dad is all, "Maybe we don't need your help. You haven't made things any better." And the mom's like, "Yeah, you suck." And the daughter's all like, "Stop fighting!" Oh, and the daughter is played by the little girl from Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. She would later go on to play the goth chick in Urban Legend. Anywho, Judging Amy asks Stallone about his past. He says he doesn't want to talk about it, and then he starts to talk about it. I guess he and his men were the first to arrive on the scene of some big emergency, and they all assumed everyone had died, but Stallone wanted to make sure, and 3 of his men ended up dying. What a horrible horrible person.
What happens next...? Oh yeah, George gets pinned under a pickup truck and breaks his neck. Stallone finds a secret room that might have an exit, and everybody heads over to it. George gives Stallone the bracelet and asks to stay behind. Stallone says sure, and he leaves. They get into the secret room, but there's no sign of the dog. The elderly woman is upset because the dog belonged to their dead son. She dies for no apparant reason. Then the rats come. The rats have found a way out, not unlike the rats in Indiana Jones. Everyone follows the rats, (except the dead lady), and the find a rickety old staircase. They all head up, and suddenly the dog shows up. You see, the dog had to survive, just like it did in Independance Day. The old lady died for naught. Haha. Well, Stallone saves the dog and breaks the staircase, so he can't go up, but eveyone else can. Judging Amy tries to help him, but the stairs break some more, and she falls in. Instead of being brave like she'd been throughout the whole movie, she starts complaining about the fact that everyone else was leaving, as if they can do anything. Just when everyone else is gone, the doorway collapses, leaving Stallone and Judging Amy trapped in the tunnel. Their only chance now is to risk a blowout.
Earlier on in the movie, we learned about how blowouts work. What happens is the water rises, causing the air pressure to increase. If they cause an explosion, that could cause the air to explode through to the surface. So they do that, come up into the Hudson River, where the Coast Guard is waiting, and Stallone gives the George's lady the bracelet. The end, thank God.
It's another greatest hits movie, and it sucks. A lot.