February 1997.I was nearing the anniversary of my my 32nd year on this earth. Finally, the confirmation test, a Western Blot, was returned with a positive result. The shock was minimal. I had prepared for this day for nearly a decade. Only denial had shielded me from the knowledge that I was faced with dying of/living with one of the nastiest bugs known to mankind... HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

All the Numbers were good however. My t-cell count was good... 621. Not to worry for awhile. Why the hell was I so tired all the time though?... And what was this weight loss all about. Not enough sleep?... Working too hard?.... I determined to rest more and eat better. That was the ticket. My job as a long haul trucker was taking its toll, that was all. Now that it was "official", I would take better care of myself. May 1997... I went in for a routine follow up. Blood work was ordered, this time with the addition of a PCR (a test to measure the actual amount of virus in my blood). The results were not encouraging. Not only did the Viral Load test reveal a significant amount of virus, but I was informed that the initial results regarding my t-cell count had been mis-read. In reality, my t-cell count in February was only 36 and was now a mere 16. I was rubberstamped. I had AIDS.

I first tested positive for the virus in about 1989. Some white patches had been noticed under my tounge by a dentist who had removed 2 wisdom teeth. I was generally tired and suffering from night sweats. My lymph nodes were always swollen and I seemed to be in a constant battle with strange rashes and an itchy scalp. I was drinking pretty heavily at the time and related these symptoms to plain old stress and poor nutrition etc. I had an ear infection almost constantly and a case of sinusitus from hell. It was one of these odd rashes that drove me to finally make an appointment with a General Practitioner near my home. (I wont use his name, but this guy was a real Quack). I was given a prescription for some topical creams and little blood was drawn. Given the other symptoms I had described, I agreed to an HIV test (the ELISA... which tests for the HIV antibody) I got my results on the phone about a week later and the rest was history.

How could this happen to ME? Contrary to popular belief, HIV does not target one group of people. This virus is completely indiscriminate folks.. If you think you are immune then you are putting yourself in a very precarious situaton. It doesnt speak the language of sexual preference, age, religion.. whatever. Wise up and protect yourself (you know what I mean.. put the crash helmet on fellas.. it aint that bad if you find one that fits.. TRUST me on this.) and if you put that junk in your arms you dang well better use fresh works or bleach em good. You may not care now, but when you decide to get it together and clean yourself up, you'll be glad at LEAST you had SOME sense.

I suspect that I got this bug following a blood transfusion in 1983. A hydraulic sheet metal break developed an appetite for the four fingers on my right hand on October 19, 1983. After it was through with lunch I proceeded to the nearest hospital where I hoped they would be able to salvage what was left of my livelyhood at the time. I was transfered to Herman Hospital here in Houston where I was invited to many hours of surgery and a whole bunch of that red stuff. They happily accomidated me for five weeks of my life after tryin to kill me with drugs that I reacted violently to.. Not to mention gettin the wrong TYPE of blood for cryin out loud.. Almost had one o' those stories about seein that warm white light. Who knows though..?.. I was no angel in the 80's and I did enough partyin to last me through the next few dimensions.. heehee.

There's definitley more to tell, but Im working on this as time allows. I just wanted to stop procrastinating and get a little up here. I hope that by the time this thing is finished, someone may look, read, and be encouraged to manage this disease. A little attitude goes a long way... I would like to share some pics of the people who have supported/loved me no matter how bad I ever F__ed up (And I do that a LOT...) so for now click here to meet em. If it wasnt for my family and 1 or 2 choice friends, I may not be here today, and thats a fact.