Night After Christmas

Twas the Night After Christmas
(Music is: "Jingle Bell Rock")

Twas the night after Christmas and all round my hips
were Brach's & Hershey candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

While I in my girdle and Dad in chin straps
Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
Why out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
Tore open the frig...STOP... then threw up the sash.
Yet the marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
Sent thoughts of a binge to my body..."Hel-lo" !

When what to my wandering eyes should appear:
A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
He had a huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
I knew in a second that I'd wind up being sick.

The sweet-coated Santa, those sugary reindeer--
I closed my eyes tightly--but still I could hear;
"On President's Lady, on workout, on weak one, on TOPS
You're a Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox."

From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
Now dash away pounds- now dash away all.
Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

My drool little mouth and my round little belly
They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
And ate all the candy, then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger beside my heartburn
Gave a quick nod and toward the bedroom I turned.
I ease into bed, to the heavens I cry..
"If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by."

And I mumbled again as I turned in for the night

"In the morning I'll starve...'til I take that first bite!"

-Unknown
(Perhaps all of us wrote it !)

Happy Holiday
Christmas Letter
Christmas is for Children
The Crippled Lamb
Hark!
In a Manger
Santa is Coming
'Twas the Night After Christmas

( From Christmas in the '40"s)
Christmas Silhoutte
Santa Clause, Please Listen

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