Angels and Mountain Lions

Sharon knew very little about medieval torture devices, but she did know quite a bit about ballroom dancing. She owned her own studio, all painted pink, and she published three books about dancing. Sharon was an exquisite dancer. Of course, the bar and the man at the bar where Sharon sat and sipped cared little for her pretty little books and her pretty little studio.

The man, George, had a nice car and a little girl, who died after her boyfriend drank too much and beat her up. The little girl, Lucy, was much older then, when she died. Sharon met Lucy several times before she died. Sharon also met Lucy later, after Sharon died too, in Heaven. When Lucy died, she was carrying the beginnings of her and her boyfriend's new daughter, but that new baby died too. Her boyfriend should have been convicted of murder and sent to prison, but that was not to be his fate. After killing his pretty girlfriend, he left the car and fell down in front of a big tree, drunken, and he was eaten by a rather lonely cow that looked like a mountain lion and smelled like a mountain lion. Really, it was a poor and lonely cow that didn't have any other cow friends. Cows are afraid of other cows that look like mountain lions and smell like mountain lions.

You see, there was a farmer whose wife and her ugly son were killed in a fire. The farmer, the son of ridiculously wealthy members of Scandinavian royalty, was slightly insane. Among other things, he believed in God and Jesus and Heaven and Hell and all that. He was insane, of course, and so he moved to the United States and bought a farm with a dead wife and son and began to pray. In fact, he prayed so hard and so earnestly that God and Jesus and so on all suddenly began to exist, as if they didn't before, according to him. He thought he single-handedly brought Jesus into our world! He, an unsuccessful American farmer of dead tomatoes, thought he changed history! I mean, this was Jesus that he thought he created.

So, this farmer, his name was Edward. His dead wife was Jessie and her son Jack, but they were dead and in Heaven and have nothing to do with anything except that Jack caught a glimpse of Lucy and her dead non-baby on his way up. Lucy was pretty. But, Edward, since he made Jesus and God, thought he could make a cow that would eat dead people, and, oh my gosh, he did it again!

Edward wouldn't be able to dance if his cow's right nostril depended on it, and he dearly loved his cow, but most ballroom dancing instructors can dance like angels. Sharon, who knew so much about ballroom dancing, could dance like an angel, and she even looked like an angel. Angels usually know very little about medieval torture devices. If anyone at the bar where Sharon sat and sipped were to ask her about them though, she would care about them deeply. Sharon cared about everything anyone cares about. She might be an angel.