Horse Cult

There was that time that I thought there was something wrong with me because I was this girl that grew up for the most part in richness and whiteness and American-ness and yet, I didn't have the love for animals that all the other girls that I knew did. They all liked ponies and horses, even beloved little Lisa Simpson, the one I was supposed to be able to relate to. Everyone, the moment they find out I'm a fan of that show, assumes automatically that she's my favorite character. I'm not sure what they're basing this on; perhaps it's because I'm sometimes a bookworm or perhaps because I'm supposed to be the one that knows how to solve those problems or something. I don't really relate to her. I think if she were real, she'd be a lot smarter than me, and like all sane people, I dislike people smarter than myself. But what I consider her one weakness is the love for horses. What's the point?

The thing about horses is that they're smelly and big and poop a lot. It's no fun, I'm sure, to step in horse's poop. And plus, if you consider the pragmatism of owning a horse, well, they're so incredibly expensive! What's the point?? I think the reason that everyone likes horses so much is because everyone likes horses. Even if people say that they want to be different, they really don't. They do want to fit in, and they've been taught since babyhood that horsies are good, good, good. Look at Black Beauty. I loved the book, and I guess I can see how it can make you like horses. The one in the book was quite pretty. Pretty things are easy to like. So am I trying to say that because I never went through a "My Little Pony" phase I'm in possession of an unacceptable abhorrence of all horses? Maybe… but I don't think that proves my point. I mean, a lot of kids didn't go through that phase because let's face it, those little ponies are, well, kinda stupid. But those kids like horses now. So what's wrong with me?

And it's not just horses either. Sure, I'm never in my right mind going to say that I hate cats or dogs seeing as how everyone I know owns one or the other or both, and they, crazy as it is seeing as how the animals can't really do anything for them, actually LOVE their pets. So, because I like friends and because some of my friendships might fall apart if I didn't conform my feelings to theirs, I don't hate dogs or cats. Gerbils on the other hand… hehe.

I go through life pretending that I'm different. No one in their right mind would honestly want to consider himself or herself to be unoriginal. But the inconsistency that exists in everyone I know, whether they admit it or not, is that even if they want to be unique, they also want to be accepted by everyone else. And let's face it, if you don't conform at least a little, they aren't going to accept you. And then there are the people that think they're not conforming by acting rebellious to what most people do, but actually they are conforming to the group of people they choose to stick themselves in. People always, always conform to fit into the group they want to be a part of. Lately, something (I think it's TV or possibly that EVIL entity commonly known as the Internet) has been informing people that conforming is bad, and sometimes it is. Here's me telling all you rich white people from my school/neighborhood/life NOT to succumb to what our school has determined to be "in". Don't buy anymore awful expensive clothes. Instead, you should give me all your money. That way, you will be conveniently different from the rest of the school… although you will be extremely like the others in my little Cult. I use the adjective "little" to prevent you from getting alarmed, because after all, it's just a little Cult. You can out anytime you want. Now, that's a powerful mind-controlling lie.

The only requirement for my cult is that you not like horses. How hard can that be when you've been taught to do the opposite with much less effort by society at large? Just correct yourself. It isn't difficult. Or else, you know, you'll have to stay behind when we all board our spaceship to Utopia. You wouldn't want that now would you?