That Don't Impress Me Much
To the tune of "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain

Written from Chris Carter's POV
                 
I've known a few writers who thought they were pretty smart
But you've got tricking people down to an art.
You think you're a genius for getting away with it
But me and my lawyers think you're full of it.
Oh, oh, you think you're special
Oh, oh, you think you're something new.
OK. So you stole my characters!
                 
That don't impress me much
So you've got the ideas, but have you got the bucks?
Don't get me wrong, I think you're all right
But when I sue your ass, you'd better go without a fight.
That don't impress me much.
                 
I never met a writer as brazen as a Phile
To take others' ideas and manipulate.
My attorneys and I are getting pretty riled
With so many fanfics, we'll have a great case.
Oh, oh, you think you're special
Oh, oh, you think you're something new.
OK. So you wrote a disclaimer!
                 
That don't impress me much
So you've got the brains, but do you have the bucks?
Don't get me wrong, I think you're all right
But when I sue your ass you'd better go without a fight.
That don't impress me much.
                 
You're one of those people who like to steal my ideas
And use Mulder and Scully for your own good.
I can't believe you infringe so many copyrights
And you don't even get paid? You must be joking, right?
Oh, oh, you think you're something special
Oh, oh, you think you're something new.
OK. So you wrote a fanfic!
                 
That don't impress me much
So you've got the nerve, but do you have the bucks?
Now don't get me wrong, I think you're all right
But when I sue your ass you'd better go without a fight.
                 
That don't impress me much.

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