"Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh."

"All generalizations are false,
including this one."

"Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening."

"Oh Lord, let my words be sweet and tender . . .
for tomorrow I may have to eat them."

"Some people exist just to annoy me!!"
- Garfield

"BABY'S PHILOSOPHY:
If something stinks . . . change it."

"Do it tomorrow . . . you've made enough mistakes for one day."

"Why don't you write books that people can read?"
- Nora Joyce to her husband James

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
-Founder of Warner Brothers

"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
- Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899

"The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
- Alan Kay

"Copy from one, it's plagiarism;
copy from two, it's research."
- Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody,
come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)

"I have an existential map;
it has 'you are here' written all over it."
- Steven Wright

"If Stupidity got us into this mess,
then why can't it get us out?"
- Will Rogers (1879-1935)