"Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun."

"We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors.... but they all have to learn to live in the same box."

"Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live."

"If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?"

"How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on."

"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"

"Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?"

"Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once."

"You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person."

"Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open."

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."

"Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us."

"A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour."