Chapter 1
* Chapter
2 * Chapter
3 * Chapter 4 * Chapter 5
Spike
ordered his second beer of the evening, leaning against the bar as the guy
poured his pint he patiently held a ten dollar bill between his index and
middle finger, waiting for the bartender to take it. Placing the drink down in
front of him the guy placed the change into Spikes hand and watched as he
balled it up in his fist and shoved it into his jeans pocket.
Grabbing hold of the glass Spike cast a glance across the room, it was a warm
night at the end of an unseasonably hot Saturday and the masses were out to
party. Pulling his pint off the bar Spike sauntered across the room and took
the steps two at a time as he headed up onto the balcony where he leant against
the railings and surveyed the crowd below him.
The music was heavy with beat as the people beneath him danced, there was
barely enough room between them to move as more and more piled onto the floor.
They hopped and bounced in unison like a sea of people, all being moved by the
same turbulent tide. Letting his eyes slip shut Spike took a deep breath and
sighed out. All the heat, sweat and blood in the room was overwhelming. It had
been too long since he'd had a taste of human blood and it wasn't like he could
forget it, the warmth as it ran into his veins, tasting sweet like honey,
ambrosia. Swigging his beer he hoped it would dull his senses, even if it only
took the edge off them he'd be happier, it was all too much for him to bear
right now.
He'd spent the day looking back on a century of doing anything he pleased and
eating anyone he wanted and it had got Spike thinking. Life was bad and very
cruel.
Other than the gem he realised that something else had pulled him back to
Sunnydale, something blonde and frustratingly invincible. Ignoring the growling
of his stomach he knit his brows tight as he thought over his current
situation, chipped and spending his days having nightmares about the Slayer
changing that mind of hers and trying to stake him good and proper. Trouble is
nightmares always gave way to dreams and it was the dreams that scared him,
usually it was him trying to stake her with his pointy wood. He blamed the
witch, polluting his mind to the Slayer, making him kiss her, touch her and
want her. Even now those emotions lingered every time he saw her and he
suspected they lingered in her too, judging by how she'd developed a habit of
lashing out at him.
Taking another swig of his beer he placed it on the table near him and fished a
cigarette out of his pocket. As he lit it up and blew smoke out over the edge
of the balcony something inside him, in his blood, pulled. He didn't have to
look hard to find her, there she was in all her glory, the Slayer.
Watching as she bounced onto the dance floor with her friends he heaved another
sigh. She was laughing as she raised her arms and wriggled her hips. Spike
growled low and hungry as she tilted her head to one side, exposing the long
curve of her soft creamy neck to him. He swore that she'd looked directly at
him.
She looked so different down there, older now than when he remembered first
seeing her. She'd been dancing much like she was now, her hair had been down
and bouncing as her cherub like cheeks glowed from the heat generated by her
mischievous wriggling. Raising a brow he tried to pin point the differences in
her, the pressure of slaying and averting apocalypses had worn her down until
she appeared to be a completely different girl before him now. She was more
fiery and passionate, older and wiser in the ways of the world, no sign of innocence
adorned her face these days, her pretty peppy teenager look had evaporated
leaving nothing but pure woman. Spike could sense every minute change in her,
she was slimmer, more toned and he could swear that she was stronger, if it
were possible for a Slayer to get stronger.
Picking up his drink again he leant and watched her closer, every dip of her
hips and sway of her hands was memorised. Spike didn't understand how she did
it, how she managed to pull him to her, why she did it. He'd told himself a
million times it was the Slayer in her, luring him to her every beck and call
but he hadn't convinced himself. It was more than Slayer blood, she was
powerful, she was graceful but most of all she was beautiful. Spike choked on
the thought and this time she really did look up at him. Her body glistening
with sweat as she turned and looked up at him on the balcony, hips still
wriggling as their eyes met.
Spikes lips parted and he found himself breathing in time with her heartbeat as
it pounded out to him across the room, eyes fixed on hers as she danced below
him, teasing him with her body and her beauty. As Buffy half smiled up at him
he felt something sickeningly soft inside him, he felt almost warm as her shiny
red lips broadened into a wider true Buffy smile. While she was smiling at him
his grip was becoming increasingly tighter around the glass in his right hand
and as Buffy ran her hands down her sides, eyes never leaving his as her mouth
opened softly, it shattered and rained glass down on the crowd below him.
Spike opened his hand and frowned at the mixture of blood and glass contained
there. Looking down at Buffy she was motionless, hand pressed firmly against
her mouth and eyes echoing disbelief over what just happened. Spike growled as
he pushed off the railings and headed down the stairs, eyes firmly fixed on the
exit as he pushed his way through the crowd causing the chip to trigger.
Perfect end to a perfect evening.
Walking through
the cemetery Buffy twirled the stake idly in her hand and watched it with a
blank expression. She could not have been more bored. The irrepressible heat
was killing her, the TV had promised that the heat wave would have ended by now
but today had been another blazingly hot day that had caused her to dream her
classes away. Even with the fall of night she didn't find any relief from the
mugginess of it all. Rounding the corner of a tomb she ducked back behind it
and smiled mischievously as the scene played out in front of her. Spike was
walking in a meandering line through the headstones, cigarette in one hand and
a grocery bag under the other arm. Squinting hard Buffy tried to make out what
he'd been buying, sticking out the top the brown paper bag she saw a yellow box
of cereal and frowned as she remembered Giles telling her about Spikes use of
Weetabix. Figuring the rest of the bag was full of blood, cigarettes and
alcohol her moment of interest passed and she looked bored once again.
Following him in a rough pattern and making sure that she was always far enough
down wind that he wouldn't catch onto her being there she tracked him all the
way to the crypt. She remembered it well, it was dark and dank and she
suppressed a giggle as she thought that it suited him. On the other hand though
she also remembered that it was spacious in there, more spacious than her dorm,
for a moment she pondered how he kept the blood chilled and then felt a shudder
run up her spine as her brain told her she was being a little too curious about
Spike.
Climbing up on a tomb just far enough away that if he came out she wouldn't be
noticed, unless he slipped into vampire mode, she scanned the cemetery. It was
still as quiet as the grave, she hadn't slain anything tonight and at first
she'd been itching for a fight to show up, now however she just felt lethargic.
Buffy let her thoughts play over the other night and the Bronze, Spike had
clearly been watching her from the balcony and something inside her would have
given anything to know what he'd been thinking when that glass had smashed. Note
to self, don't stare at Spike while running your hands over your body.
In her head she replayed the scene of the glass shattering in Spikes grip and
his mixed up look as he stared at his bleeding hand. She'd thought about it most
of the day in class, something about it had bugged her and she hoped it wasn't
the pain she'd seen in the emotional mix. It had all been there in front of her
and that's when it had hit home about his emotional range, for a vampire he
certainly did have scope. She remembered his eyes had narrowed at first, giving
her a look of contempt like it had been her fault and then as his hand had
uncurled she'd seen pain, misery, hurt, anger and passion all flaring up in
him. Moments later he was gone, disappeared down the stairs and leaving her
slightly confused over what had just happened between them. As the crypts door
swung open she ducked and lay down on the stone roof of the tomb, watching him
walk to a nearby tree and sit down.
She smiled at the sight of him as she lay on her stomach on the roof of the
tomb, hands folded over each other in front of her and chin resting softly upon
them. As he turned the page of his book he frowned at it causing Buffy to
stifle a giggle, lounging under the tree by his crypt he looked like a lost
poet or one of those romantic heroes in the novels her mother read. There he
was book in hand, shirt unbuttoned and a bottle of something sitting beside
him, face turning pensive in thought and the moon playing on his pale skin making
it iridescent. Buffy couldn't help grinning, he wasn't so bad after all, for
all his Mr. I'm-so-evil-I'm-the-big-bad-and-don't-you-forget-it antics she'd
come to realise a few things about Spike. He wasn't a normal vampire, he was a
victim of his own emotions and he cared about the world. Revelations were the
theme of the night it seemed as Spike tilted his head backwards, the hand he
held the book in softly resting on his lap and he sighed up at the stars. He's
a romantic? Books, stars, all the little things he'd said to me when we were
engaged.
Shaking her head to rid it of the thoughts forming there Buffy tried looking at
him subjectively. Sure he was evil around her, purposefully mischievous and
annoying but when he was alone it was like he let the real him out. Willow had
told her about when her and Xander had found him trying to stake himself and at
the time she'd brushed it off, so what if he wanted to die? She was always
willing to lend a hand. Now as she watched him with his gaze upturned to the
stars she couldn't help thinking maybe something inside him clung to a shred of
his human side, that his demon was somehow tangled up with that tiny spark of
humanity that remained in him. She'd seen the variances in his emotions, seen
him love with everything he had and turn miserable when he'd lost it all. When
it boiled down to it he showed as much emotion as she ever did and possibly
more than Angel, and that bothered her.
Crashing back down to reality she tilted her head slightly as Spike swigged the
bottle and sighed again. She could tell even from here that he wasn't happy and
she felt a pull inside her that said she needed to find out why.
Hopping
down from the tomb Buffy skirted him in a wide circle and snuck up behind him.
Stepping out from behind the tree he was leant against she looked over his
shoulder at the book in his hand.
"Whatcha reading?" She smiled broadly as he almost gave away that
she'd surprised him.
"None of your business." Spike frowned and willed his concentration
to stay with the book.
"Funny name for a book."
"You're one to talk about funny names." Closing the book he grinned
up at her and she wrinkled her nose at him, he loved seeing that look as she
tried to resist spouting a come back.
She didn't know what possessed her but she sat down on the grass so her feet
were near his hips and vice versa, placing the stake down beside her she leant
over and tried to swipe the bottle away from him. Spike caught hold of it but
let go quickly when their fingers brushed against each other.
"Cranky." Buffy pouted at him then read the label on the bottle, not
what she was expecting. "Bourbon, how refined of you to be swigging it
from the bottle. Oh wait, you're a vampire. How silly of me to forget
you don't have etiquette."
He watched her with an incredulous expression as she pulled the cork from the
bottle, sniffed it then took a swig. As her nose wrinkled up and her mouth
opened he grinned.
"Bleh!" Buffy shook her head and stuck her tongue out as the hot
fiery liquid burnt her throat.
"More decorum than you. Give me that." Spike grabbed the bottle and
took a long draw from it. "Bloody kids."
She shot him a warning glance that should have made it clear that he was on
thin ice, Spike just smiled at her and it had an alarming effect, it made her
warm. Just the alcohol, that's all.
Taking another swig of the bottle Spike wasn't quick enough to stop Buffy from
snatching the book off his lap.
"Hey." Pulling the book out of her hands as she tried to read the cover
he was thankful that she gave him a deadly look, knowing that if she had been
able to figure out what he was reading that she'd be taking the piss out of him
already.
Still frowning Buffy picked up the bottle of bourbon and drank more than a
shots worth as a show of defiance, struggling to swallow it she kept her face
impassive as her brain felt a little more numbed.
"Just interested that's all…" Buffy mumbled into the bottle neck as
she took another swig, the alcohol had a nice effect and it seemed to be
cooling her down, either that or she just didn't care about the sticky heat
anymore.
Pausing for a moment she stared at Spike then let her eyes drop to the slither
of bare torso she could see, swallowing hard as thoughts about how his cold
skin could have a pleasant cooling effect on hers she smiled dazedly. As Spike
shifted slightly it bought her out of her reverie, pushing the thoughts out of
her head she found the courage to look up at his face, now slightly tilted to
one side with his scarred brow arched at her.
"See anything interesting?" Spike chuckled and leant forwards
to retrieve his bottle from her, she gave it willingly.
Seeing her cheeks flush bright red Spike had to wonder what she had been
thinking while staring at him, she'd looked hot from the moment she'd appeared
but now she looked like she was sitting in a sauna. Giving himself a moment to
look her over he wondered how she could patrol in such a tiny summer dress,
didn't she think about the consequences of wearing such a devilishly hot
article of clothing around such devilish beasts like himself? Maybe she'd been
down the Bronze again before patrol, maybe she hadn't been planning on finding
anything to slay, just using patrol as an excuse to escape the heat of her
dorm.
Catching a flashback of her dancing down the Bronze only this time in the
flimsy dress she was wearing now Spike gazed up the length of her long tanned
legs that were stretched out with her feet resting near him. He tried to stop
himself from growling softly at them as he traced every curve of her muscles up
to where the hem of her dress started, just a little south of heaven.
"Spike!" Buffy checked him when he growled and his head shot up, eyes
meeting hers with such an air of embarrassment that it caused them both to look
away.
Spike snatched the bottle away from her and took a long drink as he tried to
slake his thirst because he couldn't slake his desire. He hoped and almost
prayed that it would dull his brain enough to take it away from the thoughts
that had started to dwell there.
Buffy had felt incredibly hot as she'd noticed his eyes on her legs, at first
she hadn't the heart to tell him to stop, mainly due to the fact that she was
wearing something that could barely be called a dress. When his eyes had
reached near the tops of her thighs however the growl he'd given was enough to
send a wave of naughty thoughts rocketing from her brain to her hips and she'd
panicked.
"What did you expect? I'm a man you know, sitting there with a pathetic
excuse for a dress on, bloody cheek is what it is…" Spike growled the rest
of his sentence into the bottle and stared at her, she chewed her lip and it
caused him to tilt his head slightly. She'd been chewing her lip a lot since
she sat down and started stealing his booze, now there was no shine to them,
they were just natural plump red lips.
Lowering the bottle slightly away from his mouth he stared slack jawed at her
mouth and tried to shake the desire to press his lips firmly against hers.
"Give me that." Buffy groused and swiped the bottle away from him,
bringing it to her mouth she watched with fascination as Spikes eyes widened
and his mouth opened a little more.
Tongue darting out to wet his lips his eyes unfocussed as he watched her bring
the neck of the bottle to her lips, licking them she allowed them to part
slightly as she paused before wrapping them around the bottle softly and taking
another long draw from it. Spike was enthralled.
Pulling the bottle away from her mouth she handed it to him with a wide smile.
"Here, think you need this."
As he took the bottle from her dreamily she giggled at him then hiccupped, her
brain felt fuzzy as she watched him lick his lips again then bring the bottle
to them. In a single swift motion he tilted his head back and Buffy chewed her
lip again as she watched his cheeks curve inwards and accentuate his cheekbones
further, as he swallowed the liquid down her eyes darted to his throat and she
watched his adams apple with fascination. When he put the bottle down she stared
at his neck still, tracing a scar with her eyes and curiosity set it in.
Following the scar downwards she spotted another over his collarbone then one
on his chest that looked like he'd been scratched with someone's fingernails.
Frowning at it she let her eyes slip to his stomach and something inside her
took over as she stared at his belt buckle then let her eyes fall slightly. As
he wriggled his hips slightly she gasped and looked down at the grass next to
her.
Spike chuckled softly as she did this, her cheeks flushing even more and her
fingers picking at the grass idly. Shaking his head he held the bottle out to
her and she swiped it away from him, her air of defiance now gone.
Two hours later and Spike stared at the sky watching the stars as they became
dim in the fading night, Buffy was leaning back on one arm and taking a sip
from the remainder of the bottle of bourbon.
Frowning at him she wondered what he found so fascinating about the sky,
without thinking she leant back on both her elbows and let her head fall
backwards so she could see the stars above her. Spikes gaze immediately
switched to her neck, now gloriously exposed to him and his thoughts ran
through every possible reaction she would have if he leant over and kissed it.
"Pretty aren't they?" He didn't know what made him say it but he
figured it had something to do with the way she was looking up at them, her
little brows knit and her nose slightly wrinkled as she concentrated.
"Sure are." Buffy breathed out and bought her head back up quickly,
not only catching Spike staring at her neck but causing a million tiny stars of
her own to explode in front of her eyes. She pressed her hand to the side of
her head. "Ooh, head rush."
"Dawns coming." Spike got to his feet and retrieved his book from the
grass, tucking it into his back pocket. "Toddle off home to Red."
Buffy took another swig from the bottle then looked at it, her eyes widening as
she moved them from the bottle to Spike and back to the bottle.
"I can't go home, Willow would kill me, Giles would kill me."
"Well you bloody well can't stay here." Spike caught her look as she
eyed the door to his crypt. "Not waking up to you getting shirty with me,
specially with your pointy little pal there."
Buffy pouted up at him and held her hand up, waiting for him to help her up off
the ground. Spike frowned at it at first then took it firmly in his and tried
to ignore his skin buzzing where hers touched it, bringing back memories of
their prior engagement. Pulling her up she stumbled forwards and ended up with
one arm around his waist and her cheek pressed against his chest. Nuzzling
against it she revelled in how it cooled her skin, how it was firm but soft
under her touch and his lack of heartbeat, the only thing she could hear was
the resounding rush of his breathing. As she listened to it she noticed it
coming faster and faster, pulling herself away from him she looked up at him.
Spike didn't know what to say, Buffy felt like she couldn't breathe. For a
moment they just stared at each other, neither one willing to understand what
was going on between them.
"Sorry." Buffy fumbled for her stake on the grass, straightening up
again she held her head tight and moaned.
Spike growled at the sight of her, she'd bent over right in front of him
revealing the smooth bronze curves of her buttocks, then stood up and moaned.
Buffy whipped around on hearing him growl, stormy eyes full of lust were
staring into hers and she bit her lip once more.
"Maybe you should go now." Spike reined his emotions in and picked up
the bottle, emptying it by taking two mouthfuls in quick succession he hoped it
would dull the ache in him.
"Really I can't." Buffy felt her heartbeat speed up, she was sobering
up but she still couldn't face her friend. Besides what would she say to her, I
spent the whole night drinking with Spike?
Taking a deep breath she stepped up close to him, Spike looked down at her and
arched a brow at her move. Just as he was about to ask her what she was up to
he felt her slip the stake into his hand. She was weaponless, that was how far
she was willing to go, the risk she was willing to take to make him let her
stay.