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To Un-Live and Die in LA
Chapter Three Chapter 1 2 4 5 6 7
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Willow sat cross-legged on the floor studying the runes Althenea had thrown. Althenea returned with a pot of heavenly smelling sassafras tea and poured a cup for each of them. Holding her cup between both palms, Willow inhaled the delightful fragrance before taking a sip. Lilacs, lily of the valley and sassafras tea were three of the wonders of England in spring.
Willow indicated the runes. “There has been a grave disturbance in the Force, Obi-Wan,” she commented.
Althenea raised an eyebrow. Willow sighed. She had definitely been spending too much time with Andrew!
“The earth is in peril, the balance has been skewed and, once again, the threat seems to be centered in southern California,” Althenea remarked.
Willow felt unaccountably guilty. “We thought things would quiet down with the closing of the Hellmouth, but it looks like Evil, Inc. just relocated to L.A.”
She couldn’t help the feeling that she and the other Scoobies were somehow at fault. They had scattered to the four corners of the earth, as if it was someone else’s turn to deal with the forces of darkness. They hadn’t made any effort to stay in contact with the Fang Gang, or to find out exactly what was going on with A.I. and W&H.
Their lives were so different now, and there was so much to do, what with rebuilding the Council and tracking down Slayers, and they all had personal problems to deal with. Xander just wasn’t bouncing back from Anya’s death. Willow thought he blamed himself for everything that happened since leaving her at the altar. Buffy and Giles still had major trust issues and Buffy seemed to be spending all her time with her new boyfriend. Her own life wasn’t without problems. She and Kennedy were fighting a lot . . . but if the LA crew had needed their help, wouldn’t Cordelia or Wesley have contacted them?
In any event, the Coven seemed to think it was a good idea for Willow to go check things out.
Finishing their tea, Willow and Althenea began the process of preparing the Teleportation spell.
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Spike bent his head to kiss her again. As their lips touched, Illyria thrust her tongue into Spike’s mouth, frantically plundering it. He let her do it. Illyria was gauche, awkward, and Spike suddenly realized that she had never been in a human body before. She was still figuring out how things worked.
Spike stroked her hair, gently and rhythmically. “Easy . . . no rush. We’ve plenty of time,” he murmured.
Illyria pulled back and tilted her head.
“This is not correct?” she asked.
“No, not wrong, pet, but let’s go slower . . . let things build naturally.”
“You have given your consent to fuck. I wish to experience this. Why should we wait?”
Spike put both hands on her shoulders and slid them down her upper arms.
“Not waitin’ exactly . . . just takin’ our time getting’ there. It’s better that way.”
“I do not understand. Show me what you mean.”
“I can do that.”
Spike traced the curve of her eyebrow with his tongue, then trailed kisses down the side of her face to her ear. He gently explored the shell-like curves of her ear and nipped her lobe.
Illyria shuddered.
Spike licked the line of her jaw and kissed her neck until he encountered hard, stiff leather.
“Does this get-up have any zippers? Fasteners of any kind?”
“I do not understand."
Spike sighed. “I’m trying to remove your armor, Illy. People generally take their clothes off to make love. ‘S more satisfactory that way.”
“You wish to make love to this body?”
“No. I don’t want to ‘make love to the body’ . . . I want to make love with Illyria!”
“You want . . . Illyria?”
“Thought that was the plan, luv.”
“Wesley felt nothing but disgust for Illyria.”
“That’s because he was in love with Fred. He couldn’t stand to look at you without rememberin’ what he’d lost.”
Spike understood those feelings only too well. He remembered his visceral aversion to the Buffybot after Buffy’s death. He couldn’t stand to be around the replica that looked like Buffy, but wasn’t. It tore him up just remembering the pain he had felt when forced to work with the Bot.
The bloody Scoobies never understood. They convinced themselves it was just embarrassment on his part. None of them even considered what the devastation of loss was doing to him. He was needed, so he tried to hide his pain and soldier on, and they accused him of being “cranky”. Cranky! He was being eviscerated on a nightly basis and they thought he was cranky! Oh, yeah. Spike could empathize with Wesley . . . but he couldn’t talk to him about it.
Illyria reached out and touched his cheek, tracing the knife-edge of his cheekbone with her gloved forefinger.
“You loved her, too.”
“Yeah. I loved her. But not like Wesley. I loved her as a friend. I loved her bravery, her compassion, her heart. She was brilliant. She was like a kid in a candy store in her lab. She loved discovering new things . . . she loved tacos and the Dixie Chicks and pure science. She loved her family and friends and doin’ good. She always saw the best in people. An’ she believed in me when no one else did. Yeah. I loved her with all my heart, but I wasn’t in love with her. Wesley was, and I think Gunn was, too.”
“So . . . you are not using me to make love to the Fred persona?”
“God, no! I never thought that way about Fred. I loved Fred the way I loved . . . Dawn.”
Illyria smiled. It was the first time Spike had ever seen her smile.
“You see me. You see me as I am . . . and you want Illyria.”
Spike nodded. “I want Illyria.”
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The preparations for the teleportation spell were complete. It would now take the Coven nine hours to work it. While waiting for her turn to help with the chanting, Willow packed the things she would need in a backpack. She shoved her passport, credit card and American money into the pocket of her jeans.
The spell would get her to LA, but once there, she’d be on her own. No one really knew what was going on at W&H, so she figured she’d just do a locator spell for Spike. It’d probably be better to wait until closer to departure time so she could be sure of teleporting into his vicinity.
There was nothing more she could do at the moment, so Willow went out into the herb garden to meditate.
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