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Secrets Can Be Fatal

by spikeNdru

 

Pairing: Jenny/Giles

Rating: PG

Written for the BtVS/Ats Girls Rebooted Ficathon

Timeline: Takes place between The Dark Age and Passion in S2.

Summary: After being possessed by Eyghon, and with a little help from her online friends, Jenny decides that keeping secrets can be deadly, especially when trying to develop a relationship.

Completed: 2/26/06

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and 20^th Century Fox. I'm just rebooting them.

Many thanks to makd for her on-going beta support.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Giles stands like a statue, transfixed with horror. He strains to move, but his body is frozen. Eyghon laughs at his feeble attempts. Reveling in wearing Jenny's borrowed body, Eyghon swaggers toward him. Jenny's beautiful face is already being disfigured by the demon and a sickly green glow overlays her expressive dark eyes.

Eyghon is reaching for his throat—“You're mine, Ripper”—when Jenny's head begins to lean to the left. It cants farther and farther, finally dropping to the floor. Jenny's headless body falls into his arms. Buffy stands behind her, brandishing a bloody sword. She raises the sword and it begins to glow.

“Justice,” she says in a terrible voice, thick with grief. “I serve Justice, not Vengeance.”

Giles awakened with a start. His heart was pounding madly and he was gasping for air. The covers were a tangled mess and his pillow was damp with rank, whiskey-tinged sweat. He rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hand and shivered as the night air cooled his sweat-soaked body.

He got to his feet and staggered to the bathroom, where he relieved himself, washed his hands and splashed cold water on his face. It wasn't enough.

He wouldn't be going back to bed tonight. A nice hot shower and a pot of tea sounded much more appealing.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jenny didn't realize that she was obsessively staring into every reflective surface she happened to pass, until this morning.

She was running late, again. Lately, it seemed that she tossed and turned restlessly for most of the night, only to sink into a semi-restful sleep sometime after four o'clock. As she had to get up at six, this led to sleep deprivation and lack of 'keen observiness', as the kids would say.

Jenny was comfortable with her physical appearance and had never been vain. Fifteen minutes in front of the mirror to do her hair and make-up, a five minute touch-up after lunch—that had always been sufficient.

This morning, she'd popped a bagel half into the toaster, grabbed an apple and stuck it into her pocket, and then gotten a huge snag in her nylons when she'd bent to stare at herself in the chrome toaster. This had necessitated a change of pantyhose, making her even later, when it finally dawned on her: she had been checking her reflection to make sure she was still her and that Eyghon hadn't come back.

“Okay, that's it!   I need to talk to some of the cyber-circle about this . . .   Oh, shit!   I am so late — it'll have to be tonight . . .”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Giles had read the same passage three times and had not comprehended a word of it. He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt . . . conflicted. And he had no idea what to do about it. Too much Scotch and too little sleep weren't helping. He took a handkerchief and polished his glasses before he slid them back on his face.

What the bloody hell was he going to do about the situation?

He had even thought that perhaps he could consult Buffy's mother—Joyce—with a carefully edited version of the problem. After all, she was a woman, and had been married for a number of years, so was probably no stranger to relationship conflicts. It had seemed like a good idea at the time . . .

Thankfully, his attempt to approach her had been derailed when he discovered that she had a new beau on whom she was completely focused. Before he could even suggest going for coffee and conversation, she had automatically assumed he was there to see Buffy and had left with—Ted?—before he could embarrass himself with inappropriate confidences.

Unfortunately, he was thus left in the position of having exhausted his one-and-only possible plan and still had no idea how to make amends to Jenny.

Perhaps he should just ask her directly? Now there's a thought! Now, he just needed a plausible excuse to see her . . .

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jenny felt terrible. She had been outright rude to poor Rupert when he'd come to her room with that lame-ass excuse of her textbooks being 'accidentally' delivered to the library. He stood there with that sad-eyed hang-dog look on his face—which actually was pretty adorable—but the neediness coming off him in waves was more than she could handle at the time. He was trying so desperately to make things better—to make sure she was okay—that she began to feel guilty that she wasn't doing better.

Why should she feel guilty? It wasn't her responsibility to make Rupert feel better by hurrying up and getting over the trauma of being possessed by Eyghon. The experience of that possession still vividly replayed in nightly dreams . . .

Wait! Yes, it was her responsibility to take back her life instead of wallowing in the oh, poor me! I was possessed by a demon and it's all Rupert's fault because—

Because he should have told her about his past? It's not the sort of thing that just happens to come up in ordinary conversation, is it? Oh, by the way, Jenny, twenty years ago, whilst I was at University, I got in with a group of people and we experimented with magicks and called up a demon. Why on earth would he think that something he'd done years ago would suddenly come back to bite him in the ass? Under normal circumstances, that past history would have nothing to do with her. And he's not the only one keeping secrets about his past, is he? Oh, how interesting that you called up a demon, Rupert. Have I mentioned that I'm a member of the Kalderash Romany clan, and we're the gypsies that originally cursed Angel with his soul? We have so much in common, let's hook up immediately and have hot monkey sex! Pot . . . meet kettle. Hmmm . . . she did feel better! And she guessed she owed Rupert an apology. She had been pretty rude.

Jenny smiled for what felt like the first time in weeks and grabbed her car keys. She'd drive over to his house and apologize. No time like the present!

~*~

Jenny slammed on the brakes and her disreputable old VW shuddered to a stop as she turned her head to stare at an even older and more disreputable Citroën parked beside the entrance to Sunnydale Park. Good! Rupert was out patrolling—this was better than going to his house.

Jenny slid out of the car, locked the door and pocketed the key. She looked past the swing set, merry-go-round and picnic tables. There! Was that him, checking out those bushes? Jenny squared her shoulders and hurried toward him. Now that she'd made up her mind to apologize, she may as well get it over with as soon as possible.

Giles was so intent upon what he was doing that he didn't hear her approach. He spun, waving a cross in her face.

Jenny raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I get that reaction from men all the time.”

Surprise showed on his face. “Jenny! What are you doing here?”

“I saw your car back there. I wanted to apologize.”

“Well, now is . . . not the best time to go ta—”

Now that she'd decided she owed him an apology, Jenny wasn't about to be put off.

“No, no, please, please, lemme just, lemme get this out. I was sooo . . . harsh the other day. I am so sorry. I mean, I know how badly you must feel about putting me in danger before, and . . . ”

“Right in harm's view now!”

And then things got really crazy. The vampire attacked, Jenny accidentally shot Giles with the crossbow, and she insisted he needed to go to the hospital . . .

Oh, well . . . at least I got to apologize. I can tell him about Angel later.

~*~

Ted dialogue by David Greenwalt and Joss Whedon

~*~

Jenny made sure Giles received appropriate care in the Emergency Room and backed up his story of being a Renaissance Reenactor. He told the doctor he was preparing for a scheduled reenactment next weekend; as he was adjusting his crossbow, the catch slipped, and he shot himself in the back?—Sunnydale ER physicians must live in a permanent state of denial!

Jenny drove him to his apartment and made sure he was comfortable. The assurance of comfort included helping him into his favorite chair, tucking an extremely ugly crocheted throw—a gift from his grandmother—around him, and placing a book, glass, and bottle of 18-year-old Macallan within reach. She then slipped out before he noticed that the book was Sue Grafton's latest, “M” is for Malice, and not some esoteric tome on demonology.

Back at her own apartment, Jenny plugged in her laptop and signed on to her Instant Messenger program. She really hoped some of the Circle would be online.

Saved IM between Gypsy Rose and Athena's Owl:

 

gypsyrose: so it just really pissed me off that he put us all in danger by not saying anything

athenas_owl: pissed you off or hurt you?

gypsyrose: Both, I guess. I can understand why he didn't say anything at first, I mean – who knows what part of anyone's past is going to be relevant and what's just private?

athenas_owl: that's true. So what's really upsetting you – that he put you in danger or that he didn't

gypsyrose: that he didn't what?

athenas_owl: trust you enough to share secrets that he may find embarrassing now that he's matured

gypsyrose: I never thought of it that way

athenas_owl: and I suppose you've told him absolutely everything about your past?

athenas_owl: Jenny? Are you there?

gypsyrose: I'm still here

athenas_owl: hit a little too close to home, did I? Are you keeping things from him that he needs to know? If you are . . .

gypsyrose: I think I might be

athenas_owl: will you just listen to yourself? It hurt me and made me angry that a man I care about didn't trust me enough to give me a heads up that a crazed demon was in town but I'm not telling him things that may have an impact on his life because?

gypsyrose: because it's not my secret alone—there are other people involved

athenas_owl: well, I suggest you meditate about it, cause it seems to me like you're behaving exactly like he did

gypsyrose: I know!!! I know I am—I'm just not sure what to do about it.

athenas_owl: there's a seer in Devon that might be able to help you—do you want me to contact her and ask her about your problem?

gypsyrose: let's hold off for a few days and let me think about it

athenas_owl: okay—but don't take too long . . . I've got a bad feeling about this, Jenny.

gypsyrose: I won't. I just need some time. I'll get back to you soon.

athenas_owl: the energy of the Circle is at your disposal, you know. You don't have to do this alone.

gypsyrose: I know. And thanks.

Jenny got up and stretched. She'd meditate before going to bed and maybe the answer would come to her in sleep. She wanted to tell Rupert—she really did, but she knew Uncle Enyos would never approve. Maybe a cup of chamomile tea would help her relax . . .

~*~*~*~*~*~

Rupert Giles felt a wholly inappropriate smile sneak across his face. The earth was doomed—again—and yet . . . The scent of Jenny's perfume when she leaned close to whisper that she needed to speak with him privately made his heart skip a beat and that smile continued to tug at the corners of his mouth.

He knew he should concentrate on researching the Judge—he was a Watcher and that was his job—but thoughts of Jenny made concentration difficult. Even the fact that Buffy and she should have returned from the docks by now failed to quell his anticipation.

The talk would have to wait, however; Buffy returned alone to inform them that Jenny had taken Angel home to change his clothes. Naturally, Xander was the one who asked why clothes needed to be changed, and finally, Giles' good feelings deserted him. Buffy said they were ambushed by Spike's minions, who now possessed the arm, and she and Angel had taken an unscheduled dip in the harbor.

It was much later before Giles and Jenny had a moment to themselves.

The research continued. Giles peeked into the library cage and saw Buffy fast asleep. Good. I'm glad she is finally getting some much-needed rest, he thought. She is still so young and we expect so much from her.

Giles was researching in the upper stacks, when Buffy strode out of the cage, with Angel following close behind her.

“Buffy, what's happening?” he called.

Angel stated flatly, “She had another dream.”

Buffy broke in. “I think I know where Spike and Drusilla are,” and then detailed a well-thought-out plan.

She and Angel left for the factory to do recon; Xander volunteered for the bus station; Cordelia and Willow called dibs on the train station; and Giles and Jenny planned to stop by the docks again after checking out the airport.

~*~

The airport had not proved fruitful, and Giles pulled into the gravel of an overlook above the harbor. He removed his glasses and polished them, then struck the steering wheel in frustration. They had not observed any unusual activity at either place, and he feared they were too late. He was about to put the car into reverse to head back to the library, when Jenny touched his arm.

“I've been wanting to talk to you, Rupert. Do you have a few minutes before we head back?”

“Er . . . certainly.” He smiled, and his hand automatically crept toward his pocket for his handkerchief. “I'll always have time for you, Jenny.”

Jenny blew out a stream of air in a whoosh. “I've been thinking, Rupert, about how angry I was with you that you didn't tell me anything about Eyghon—”

Giles began to apologize again, but she cut him off. “I mean, I can understand why you didn't say anything initially. You had no idea that old history would impact the present, but after you knew Philip had come back, you still didn't tell any of us; you just got drunk and hoped it would go away.”

“Jenny, I . . .”

“No, don't say anything. I think I was so angry with you because I was doing the same thing.”

Giles looked at her questioningly, and polished his glasses again.

“Just let me get this out, okay? You know me as 'Jenny Calendar', techno-pagan and computer teacher, and that's a part of who I am, but that's not all I am, any more than you are only Rupert Giles, librarian. I am also Janna of the Kaldarash tribe—the Gypsies who originally cursed Angel with a soul. I was sent to Sunnydale to watch him, as members of my tribe have watched him for almost a hundred years. I didn't say anything, as it wasn't my secret to tell, and I really didn't think it had anything to do with you or your Slayer. But after the Eyghon fiasco, I've been thinking a lot about trust and . . . I wanted you to know. I don't want there to be secrets between us, Rupert, because a relationship built on lies isn't really a relationship at all.

“I'm telling you now, because my Uncle Enyos is in town—he says the Elder of the tribe thinks Angel's pain is lessening. I'm not sure what that means, but Angelus was originally cursed to make him suffer for all the wrongs he'd done, and I think his relationship with Buffy and you and the Scoobies is making him suffer less.”

“And this lessening of his suffering? What is the implication of that?”

“I don't know! I don't think even Uncle Enyos knows for sure. He just said 'his pain is lessening, and one moment of true happiness is too much'. I thought you should know.”

“Yes, erm, thank you, Jenny. We must tell Buffy immediately. Perhaps there is something about the curse in the Watcher's Diaries . . . we must research . . .”

~*~*~*~*~

Oh, shit! I can't believe they sent me here without telling me what could happen! Vengeance-smengeance! How could the tribe not care about unleashing Angelus on the rest of the world? If they were gonna give him a soul to make him suffer, why the fuck didn't they just give him a soul? Whoever thought up that 'one minute of perfect happiness and he goes all evil again' was clearly insane! That is the stupidest damn plan I ever heard of in my life! And I know Buffy blames me for this whole mess. Why not? I blame me for this whole mess. I should never have agreed to this without knowing what could happen! And Uncle Enyos . . . coming to town, being all cryptic and telling me to 'take her from him' . . . well, know what? You were too late! The 'elder woman' should have seen what could happen and you all should have done something to stop it before it happened. Ohmigod! What am I going to do? How can I fix this?

gypsyrose: Minerva? Are you online? I really need to talk to you! Big time!

athenas_owl: I'm here, Jenny. What's up?

gypsyrose: We've got trouble — right here in River City. I may need to talk to that seer you mentioned.

athenas_owl: Ms. Hartness? Sure — I can contact her coven and have her get back to you. I don't know how computer savvy she is 'cause she's really pretty old – which may be my own prejudices poking through – but, I talk to Althenea often, so I could ask her.

gypsyrose: would you, please?

athenas_owl: What's wrong, Jenny?

gypsyrose: I don't even know where to begin . . . but I did take your advice and told Rupert about my secret - unfortunately, it was too little too late, but at least I don't have that on my conscience. Now I just need help to fix something that never should have happened in the first place - and then maybe I can fix my possible future-it-seemed-to-be-heading-in-that-direction-but-currently-non-relationship with Rupert! wish me luck

athenas_owl: always! And I'll contact Ms. Hartness asap

gypsyrose: thanx! *hugs*

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jenny finished coding in the html and sat back to stare at the computer. It just might work! If she could get this to work—to translate the Rumanian liturgy to English based on a random sampling of the text—she could possibly re-create the curse and give Angel his soul back. Even though the curse wasn't very well thought-out, it was the best chance she had to make things right. And she so wanted things to be right. Not only with Rupert, but with Buffy and Willow and the other kids who gave their all to make this world better. They served Justice, and that was a much better goal than Vengeance. Why weren't her people able to see that? But maybe she could make amends.

Jenny started when she heard a noise behind her. She glanced quickly at the classroom windows to check the time before she turned around. Twilight. She had been working longer at the school than she planned—the sun had set and she hadn't even noticed. She drew in a deep breath and turned.

“Hello,” Giles said.

Jenny breathed a sigh of relief and smiled.

Giles stepped into the room and commented, “You're working late.”

“Yeah. It's a special project and the time got away from me. Thanks for reminding me that it's not a good idea to be alone in a public place after sunset . . .”

“Oh, yes, er . . . quite right.”

“Rupert?”

“Yes?”

“I spoke to Buffy earlier today.”

Giles came toward her and leaned on the corner of her desk. “Oh. Yes? And did you . . . er . . . did she . . .”

Jenny glanced away and tapped the floppy disk she had been ready to insert into the disk drive on the palm of her hand. “She said that you missed me.”

“Yes? Well, she's . . .”

“Wrong?”

“Sorry?”

“Is she wrong?”

“No . . . erm . . . not at all . . . in point of fact, she's quite correct. Meddlesome, but correct.”

“I've missed you, too, Rupert. And I am so sorry that things worked out the way they did with Angel . . . if I had known, I would have said something sooner. You must believe me. I never wanted to hurt either of you.”

“Yes . . . well . . . losing Angel to that monster did hurt her very badly, but I don't blame you, Jenny. I believe that you did what you could . . .”

“No! I didn't do all I could. But I may be able to fix that now. See, I'm working on a program . . . oh, it would take way too long to tell you about it now, but if you'd like to come over to my place while I finish up what I'm doing, you could help me  . . . research.”

“Erm . . . books are really more my forte when researching . . . I know practically nothing about those dratted machines.”

“Chill, Rupert, I wasn't asking you to do computer research . . .” Jenny smiled wickedly.

“Well, then . . . what sort of research did you have in mind?”

Jenny threw a look over her shoulder as she slid the disk into the drive to make a copy of her work.

“I thought that you could help with the book research . . .” She paused to grin at him, removed the disk and slipped it into her purse. “You can check the phone book to see how many restaurants deliver actual non-pizza food in Sunnydale. And then, you can choose something yummy and order it for us while I finish this on my PC, and then, I'll tell you all about this project while we eat. And then . . .”

“And then?”

“And then . . . we'll see what happens.”

An answering grin spread across Giles' face. Jenny turned off the school computer and slipped her arm through his as they walked out of the high school and into a relationship.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Angelus stalked through the halls of Sunnydale High School in a rage of frustration. Drusilla had 'seen' that 'the mean teacher' would be here tonight, working to shove that fucking soul back in and turn him into that sniveling, whimpering, puppy-saving, do-gooder . . .

Angelus picked up Jenny's computer and threw it against the wall. Why wasn't she here? He took a deep breath, pulling the scent from the room into his lungs. He filtered out the smell of burning metal and electronic components, chalk, and hormonally-challenged teen-agers. He sniffed again. Dry-cleaning solvent, lavender cologne, cocoa butter skin lotion, Secret antiperspirant, Suave hair products—that was Jenny. Aha! Musty leather and rice paper, wool tweed, Issey Miyake L'eau D'Issey Homme Aftershave—Giles, you ponce! Must have been a gift—can't picture you affording nancy scent like that on a librarian's wages.

Angelus smiled slowly. This would be even more fun than he had anticipated . . .

~*~

Angelus spent nearly three hours of interminable boredom in Giles' flat, waiting for them to appear. The watcher didn't even have cable television! He'd drunk all Giles' scotch and was bored out of his skull. He needed a particularly vile kill to make up for wasting his time like this. He shifted into game face and roared out of the apartment. There'd be other nights to take care of the teacher and the watcher. Tonight, he'd see if any of Buffy's friends were around, kill them slowly, then go back to the factory and punish Dru for sending him on this wild-goose chase. And he'd make Spike watch. Maybe tonight wouldn't be a total loss after all.

 

The End

 

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