THE BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN
- We got off the Titanic first.
- We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
- We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
- We can cry and get out of speeding fines.
- We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
- Taxis stop for us.
- We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
- Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies (you get the point).
- New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
- No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.
- We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
- If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
- We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.
- We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
- We have the ability to dress ourselves.
- We can talk to someone of the opposite sex without having to picture him naked.
- There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
- We'll never regret piercing our ears.
- We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
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These were shared with me by a friend, but I'm embarrassed to say I forgot which one. :( If it was you, please let me know so I can add your name here.
... AND THE DRAWBACKS
As shared by Goose.
TOP 14 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR
- Pass My Shotgun
- Psychotic Mood Shift
- Perpetual Munching Spree
- Puffy Mid-Section
- People Make Me Sick
- Provide Me with Sweets
- Pardon My Sobbing
- Pimples May Surface
- Pass My Sweatpants
- Pissy Mood Syndrome
- Plainly, Men Suck
- Pack My Stuff
- Permanent Menstrual Syndrome
The Question:
How many women with PMS does it take to change a
light bulb?
The Answer:
One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this *#%@ house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even care that the bulb is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to FIND the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS!!! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID *#%@ BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!!! - IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS HOUSE!
I'm sorry ... what did you ask me?
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