Note: Most of the things put on this page are done in great anger and often not really meant.
NEW: I made a form! Cleaver morgi!

Against the Board of Education
Okay. This is against the screwy Board of Education. What in the four elven Hells do they think they're doing, waltzing into all the college-prep schools, taking all the test scores, stationary, etc., and coming up with their own *in "stupid voice"* Top Secret *end of "stupid voice"* way of grading the tests and dstributing the students. The incredibly sucky thing is that no one knows what's going on! Screw the Board and their sucky methods! Because of them, I didn't get into Payton, the BPS is splitting up, and so forth! Also, because of them, I have to try to get into Payton again next year (if the stupid, idiotic, sucky, insignificant, unbelievable system will allow)! Hmph!!!Blahh!-- an enraged Rienna

Against Fundamentalists
What Would Jesus Do? Well, first of all Jesus would stop making a profit off bracelets and other merchandise made in 3rd World Countries by under paid starving people. Then Jesus would remind everyone that God is not a guy and that Jesus never said that going to church was the proper or only way way to worship him. Then, hopefully, Jesus would tell the world that God is not a hypocrite, and she does not send those she loves to Hell.--morgaisa

Against Injustice
Humph. I would like to object to the unfairness of being called "insane" [in the effervescent rant] by an obviously insane person as if it were an insult. I am very proud of being insane, thank you very much! Being insane is the best way to be. By the way, I completely agree that we should not listen to crazy people. I am insane, though, not crazy, so my statements should not be ignored. --May

Against ISATs
ISATs suck terribly. It's not even funny how much they suck. No, wait, it is. It's so hysterically not funny it's fucking funny!! HAHAHA!! *Rienna breaks up into hysterical laughter, and has to be hauled off to a temporary assylum*--Rienna *in straightjacked* HA HA HA HA HA HA!! HAHAHA!!!HA HA!! (note from morgi: i think this can be translated to mean that the stress from the ISATs caused rienna to crack. that's just how i read it though. perhaps we should just leave it open to specualtion.)

Against Kenwood
Kenwood Academy has three main problems, the food, the building, and the people. I don't have too much of a problem with the food seeing as most schools have really bad cafeteria food. I gather that the weevils and cockroaches crawling out of the food are common to all schools, as well as the fact that everything is either over or under cooked, or spoiled. The building is more of a concern, though not as much this year. The main annoyances with the building is the maintenance. The roofs leak, there is garbage allover the floor, the chairs have crud on them, and we won't even get into what the lunch room looks like. Also a problem with the building is that many people were extremely surprised to hear that it was being cleaned. Not, of course that the cleaning has had much effect. There was already too much grime to clear away quickly. The people are a major problem with the school, which is not good, considering that this is indeed a school we are discussing here, and people make up the school. The students of Kenwood Academy contribute to many of the problems with the school, most especially the appearance. The highschoolers are also are extremely irritating to have classes with. They consider themselves superior to us preppies, which they clearly are not. They have a very annoying manner of conducting themselves in classes which, I am sure, gives all of us a migraine. The faculty of Kenwood can be worse, in a way, when you consider that they are the ones who are supposed to be helpful and nice to work with. Please understand that all of the faculty are not this way. Some of them are very nice. Unfortunately, they seem to be in a minority. Some of the most aggravating people are the security guards. They like to yell a lot and are into power in a big way. They are also quite ineffective at their main job. Sure, if there is a fight they break it up, but at the metal detectors, they are useless. You go through, and if the machine buzzes you keep walking and no one says a thing. Also, the backpacks are not checked, so if you wanted to bring a gun to school, all you would have to do is put it at the bottom of your backpack and no one would know. Makes you feel so safe, huh? My other pet peeve is the librarians. Until our principal got on their case, you couldn't bring a backpack into the library. How are you supposed to get your work done if you don't have it with you? Also, you weren't allowed to leave until the end of a period, so you had to choose between lunch and school work. Real hard choice. Although much of this is no longer in practice, the librarians remain uncommunicative and mean. What really gets me though is that they have a sign in the library that reads "Be nicer than you need to be".--May

Against Not Writing Letters
Okay. First of all, I would like to rant about people NOT WRITING! I haven't read a letter from Laura or May for about a month. Now, don't get me started on Amie and Graci. When was the last time you guys wrote!? November? December?! Lastly, Adam. According to you, you have 12 or 11 letters. Don't we have a bet going?! I have over 63!! Oh, you can't HOURD LETTERS! That felt good. --Rienna

By the four elven hells!! What's wrong with all of you people?! How hard is it to take ONE piece of paper, and a PEN, and then take FIVE minutes out of your insignificant, pathetic, *in stupid voice* precious *end stupid voice* lives to write a letter!!?? Jeez!!! And, then, when we pass you letterrs, what do you do? You HOARD them!! What are you trying to do?! It's not like the letters you hoard are going to magically become your's! No, Amie, no matter how much you wish. Urrgg! *wild applause from invisible audience* --Rienna

Against People
Against Adam
First of all, I would like to express my great displeasure at Adam, for having the previous site destroyed (you bastard). I can't believe he went to those lengths to get back at me for the amusing rendition of the BPS-Pill website. Do you know how tedious it is to write all this stupid HTML to make the page look good? Quite inconsiderate. I will rebuild it all though. I do not cave. (I don't spelunk either for that matter, but let's get back to Adam-bashing.) If I have not displayed properly my disgust at Adam's running to the Network when his 'ickle feewings were huwt, let me say it outright. Adam is a pathetic squealer, who wouldn't write BPS letters (duh, the whole point of BPS) and can't even debate about the beliefs that are the foundation of his pitiful, meaningless existance. (That was fun!)--morgaisa

Against morgaisa's grandma
----Original Message Follows----
From: MaryAnnCathey@aol.com
To: author_grrl@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Your school
Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2002 20:45:01 EST
Thanks for the prompt response. I was looking at the news article about the test results in the Chicago schools. I remembered that Paul went to the Ray School, but I couldn't remember the name of your school. I also saw the article about a shooting outside one of the high schools. It is so sad that we live in a world where people seem to think they must shoot others to settle arguments. Peace is a good thing to pray for.
Love,
Grandma
This is one of the sickest thing my grandmother has ever sent me. She thinks I'm atheist (has never asked but knows I'm not Christian), and yet she continues to try to manipulate my "troubled and confused mind" by putting stuff about praying in her e-mails. She doesn't respect my religious affiliations. Then she gets all nostalgic and says things about when I was little. This particulaly bugs me because she has said many times that things were so pleasant when I was little. Her underlying implications are that when I wasn't thinking for myself, and when I let her superimpose all her desires for what a perfect graddaughter should be over me, I was much more pleasnt to be around. I cannot stand this bitch. She's so fake! And howabout the fact that she still refers to herself in 3rd person when talking to me? The way one does with infants and toddlers to teach them one's name. Not to mention that she's a control freak. We were visiting her over last Christmas break, and we went to a mall. I had bought a shirt and some pants with mom, but she literally would not let me leave the mall until I bought a shirt with her! If you don't understand what I mean, allow me to clarify: she insisted that I buy a shirt with her, there, paying for it. She took me by the shoulder, said "Laura, this is important," and steared me around Marshall's until I grabbed the first shirt I could look at without puking, and then she triumphantly pays the cashier. She was so obnoctious about the whole thing that the rest of my family preferred to wait in the car without the keys (meaning no heat, in the winter). They couldn't stand to be around her. Then she tries to play it off lightly, saying as we left the store, "Now, Grandmother wasn't forcing you to buy anything; she just wanted time with her special graddaughter." She's wanted me to be a perfectionist forever, and when I was younger I always tried to live up to that. And look what's happened to me now! Dammit, I even feel sometimes like I shouldn't blame her for everything, like I've got to take the weight of the world on my shoulders and always be nice to her and considerate of other people, no matter what they're like to me, and that it's my responsibility to keep everyone happy and enertained. That's what grandparents are supposed to do; she's never done that, and I feel that someone should. And I'm fucking sick of playing to her whims, and the way she's fucked up my father and the way she hurts everyone around her. I've always lived under the impressionthat your family members are supposed your guides and role-models, and your grandparents are supposed to send you money and keep you happy. Not fuck up your life. I honestly hope that you guys can't begin to fathom this, because that would mean that you don't have to suffer with people like this. --morgaisa

Against People Not Coming to the Site
Why do you idiots want to be in our beloved BPS society if you don't even contribute!!!!! You're excuses are really fucking pathetic!- I mean * in a whiny voice* "My uncle won't let me get on the net" , "I don't have access", "I'm a really lazy person"... SO WHAT?!?!?!?! I-don't-care. You have friends- they have the Internet. Goddammnitall GO TO THEIR HOUSE!!!!! USE THEIR COMPUTERS!!!!! Or if you can't do that, find a library that has Internet access and USE THAT!! Fucking hell!! If you are in BPS then the least you can bloody well do is act like it and make an effort to COME to the website, LOOK at it, and WRITE a message or something!!! SHAPE UP, DAMN U!!!!!!!!!!!!! -May (note from morgi: who was surprised to see that this was written by may? i must confess, my first reaction was: dear sweet non-existant jesus in "heaven" above! lahd 'a mercy, save us! may's done gone and cracked! so, looking at this rant, we can assume that may's creative interjections such as "fucking hell" can mean that she's really pissed. beware: she knows where you all live!)

Against the Politically Correct
Who would think that I would rant against these inclusive idealists? Well, today they have crossed the line. In the hymnal that is used at my mom's church, all the songs are written to be inclusive. Now, as much as I detest a lot of things in this church, one thing that I appreciate is that when I actually sang the songs, I would get to say God instead of He. That inclusiveness apparently extends racially, which one would assume to be a good thing. Unfortunatly, the result is that it comes off as insensitive. Words like "dark" and "black" have been taken out when used in the context of meaning bad things. Before I give the example that so enraged me, I must state that these lyrics were all rewritten by white people. Very white people. Now, the incident that bothered me was in "Lift every Voice and Sing", also called "The Black National Anthem". This song was written by a black man. Where do these lyric changers get off with "...the hope that the harsh past has taught us"? The past- slavery- was not harsh. It was evil. Dark, in this context, does not mean black; it means evil. Dark and light have symbolized evil and good for a very long time. Dark and light do not mean black and white in the context of skin color, especially not in this song. I am appauled that these white bastards rewriting the lyrics of the song think that they can change it and make it more politically correct than when the author, a black man, wrote it. I am disgusted. I keep hearing this little Scarlett O'Hara voice in my mind saying in a melodramatic voice, "Slavery was so harsh." Uhhg. --morgaisa

For Orlando Bloom
*In that annoying, valley-girl voice that everyone hates* Like, Orlando Bloom is like, such a hottie, and like he was, like, really good in, like Lord of the Rings which, like, was the, like, only movie that I, like, ever saw him in, and like, the only, like, word that, like, describes him well enough is, like, hottie, and , like, I'm really, like getting annoyed with, like, typing like this, so, like I'm going to, like, stop.
Okay. Back to normal. Yeah. Orlando Bloom is way cuter than the pen-pal and the blank and the panther combined! I wonder if he has his own fan club...(hee, hee!) You know all of the L of the R (I'm too lazy to type out all the words, sorry) books that they have out? Can you guess which picture I flip to right away, and ignore all the rest to drool over? Alright, I'm going to stop, now. It's really not good for my health * Rene chants rythmatically* " Pen-pal, pen-pal, pen-pal...Legolas, Legolas...er...pen-Bloom... Oh, What's the use?-- Rene

For the word "effervescent"
You know, we really don't have any positive rants. Everything we rant about is just complaints. We should rant about good things and be more positive. (Hey, I'm trying to reinvent myself as a happier person. Work with me here.) May has brought it to my attention that the Ranting Page is supposed to be a place where we complain about everything, but you all read that rant she wrote about people not coming to site. She's obviously insane, and we shouldn't listen to crazy people. (The puffins all start coughing very loudly, and morgi hastens to get to the point of her rant.) I am going to rant about the word "effervescent." According to Dictionary.com, effervescent means :"to show high spirits and animation". I think it is a wonderful word, and seems a lot more encouraging than its synanyms like "zealous". I think this is because "zealous" looks a lot like "jealous", and jealousy isn't a positive virtue in this society. Also, zealous seems like a dark and mysterious word, for me at least. This may be due to the fact that I only found out what zealous means last year, but I digress. The noun for a zealous person is "zealot", and "zealot" has the same suffix as "harlot", which is not a positive thing in our society either. "Zealot" also sounds negative- and this may just be my ignorance- in that it makes me think of an over worker.
"Effervescent", on the other hand, is quite pleasant. It has that delightful "sc" in the middle that I find myself rather fond of. (No, "that I love so very, very much." Sorry, May. I couldn't resist.) And there is of course the "effervescent scrubbing bubbles" commercial that was such a joy from my early childhood. ("They work harder so you don't have to!!!") It's alway nice to have a word with positive annotations to describe a virtue that society likes. The word "effervescent" just seems enthusiastic and cheerful.
Alternatives to effervescence like zeal have negative sounds, or conjure up unencouraging thoughts. They do not have the same busy, bubbly worker bee sound or meaning to them. "Effervescent" is a superior synanym, and should be used often in place of lesser nouns. (Oh my gods! That rant was written in essay form! Holy shit, the teachers couldn't be right about that being a good format, could they? ^_^ Anyway, this rant is dedicated to all my crushes who I "enthusiastically" did not go out with, and, no, I don't know where that came from.)-morgaisa

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