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Captain
Knockers
and the
Islamic
Goat Herders of Death
based on a true story
Chapter One: The Beginning
It was a dark and stormy night about 350
years ago.... Captain knockers was enjoying a small child he had found by the campfire.
But Captain Knockers had a feeling for some... KNOCKERS.
Oh how he yearned for Wiggy... his one true love. However she was lost at sea, mistaken
for a walrus and raped by seals and otters. Long gone were the days when Captain Knockers and
Wiggy would run through the woods, frollicing about naked.
As Captain Knockers dreams about the days he and Wiggy were together, he finishes eating
the remains of a small Vietnamese sailor he had cooked for dinner. As he is enjoying his
meal he hears the unmistakable noise of Islamic chanting in the distance.......
A Small Vietnamese Sailor
As the chanting comes closer, Captain Knockers fears for his life, so he arms himself with
his trusty Crossbow of Death and puts on his Breastplate of Righteousness.
Now that the chanting is near, it sounds like a tree shredder.... and in fact it is!! The
Islamic Goat Herders of Death are terrorising the locals!
Captain Knockers likes their style! He begins
to laugh at the screaming people whose corpses are being ripped into and thrown about
violently in small pieces which are caking on the trees. However, as Captain Knockers
fears he may be mistaken for a local, so hides in a horse that happens to be conveniently
placed there.
The massacre has now stopped, and from his hiding spot Captain Knockers can see the Goat
Herders feasting on the remains of the villagers. Then he notices an old man coughing and
gasping for air! This poor, innocent old man who is responsible for the death of thousands
of people is choking on a char-grilled penis!!!
A Penis
So Captain Knockers races over to him and cracks him across the back. The penis flies out
of the mans mouth and spears a surviving local in the eye.
The Goat Herders cheer and applaud Captain Knockers, as he has saved the elder's life and
killed an imbred local with style and sophistication. The Goat Herders explain that if
their elder dies, all their heads explode resulting in their deaths. They invite him to
join in on their feast, and after the meal have a hardcore homosexual daisy chain around
the campfire.
next chapter..
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