Captain Knockers

and the

Islamic Goat Herders of Death

based on a true story

Chapter Eight: The new AIDS epidemic in Africa

As Captain Knockers and his men began to rest..... over 500 miles away a small girl cried out in anguish. "DAD! DONT PUT THAT IN THERE!!!" she yelled as her father put the cat in the microwave. The family did not understand why he still did this.

The girl stormed out of the room as her dad microwaved the cat. It would be the 13th time this week she would have to clean a cat out of the microwave.

Be warned of the 'other' effects of putting cats in microwaves

From outside she hears screaming..... "Not again!" she thinks to herself, as she runs outside to find her brother with his penis caught in the exhaust pipe of the car.

"So, this is what its like living with AIDS victims!" she muttered under her breath as she retrieved the vasoline for her brother.

After prying her brother from the car, she decides to go for a drive. She turns on he radio and is delighted to hear the homoerotic sounds of Prince. She sees some Downers in wheelchairs on the side of the road, and runs them down, stopping only to reverse over them a few times to make sure theyre dead.

Prince, who is walking down the street in a pair of pants with the butt cheeks cut out, hears his old band blaring in the street. An old lady realises its Prince, and proceeds to bludgeon him with an 18 inch black rubber penis until Prince is hit by a bus.

Prince - what a tool

A cat then walks across the road, seemingly agitated by the noise of Prince. It also is suffering from gastric distress, as a bunch of 13 year old African boys have been feeding it ecstacy.

Dikembe stood in the sun fucked off his head on ecstacy. The horse he was fondling looked mighty fine. That was until Dijuana came over and alerted him of her vaginal discharge looking like sour milk. Dikembe ignored her and proceeds to molest the horse whilst yelling "YOU GOT A 20 DOLLAR BILL THROW YOUR HANDS UP!" Then his head exploded.

"Oh no, not again!" cried Dijuana. This new African AIDS strand which caused heads to explode had taken his parents, his brothers, and his pet horse, Mittens. It reminded him of the war he fought in Asia. He had seen brutal things, and they had twisted his mind beyond belief - men with 3 inch cocks, Barry White naked, Ronald McDonald, men with their genital organs ripped off with rusty forks, midgets head butting people in the shins only to have their scrotums chewed off by sea otters....

Seeing these things, according to Dijuana's father, were things that made a man strong inside. The truth was, it fucked Dijuana up, and now his only relief was to pull a Downy out of its wheelchair, strip it of its clothing and douse it in petrol while chopping it up with an axe. But, it was not to be... as Dijuana had no arms.

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