Please Give Us Free Toast
by Razor and
Ruudboy
[Free Toast: The Introduction]
Not very many people know this, but Razor (that's me) and
Ruudboy (that's the other guy) are both rather dedicated fans of free toast. Free toast is, without a shadow of a doubt, our all-time favorite food, no matter how it's prepared. Of course, I suppose there's only one proven way to make quality toast, and that's by using a strange and futuristic machine known as a "toaster." Go figure on the name, huh? I mean, who in their right mind could've possibly come up with a weird name like that? Hey, wait a minute...I wonder which came first, the toaster or toast itself? I guess the toaster would've had to come first,
because otherwise, there'd be no such thing as toast, right?
Wow, that's a real brain-squeezer; now my head hurts from
thinking too much. Don't worry, it happens often.
[Free Toast: The Dedication]
Anyway, Ruudboy likes to stick a fork into his toaster, but I only did that once, because I didn't really care much for being electrocuted. Ruudboy says he likes it a lot, but he also says that he likes free toast even more. And so do I. I mean, after all, who wouldn't like free toast? Free toast
flat-out rules! Actually, there are a lot of things which we know about that rule, but I think free toast definitely rules more than almost anything else. Keep in mind that I did say "
almost"...hey, did you know that if you
say the word "almost" a bunch of times, it'll eventually start to lose all meaning? Try it! Read this next sentence out loud: Almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost almost. Isn't that just the craziest thing you've ever heard of? I can't even remember how to pronounce "almost" correctly anymore! Agh!
[Free Toast: The Explanation]
Getting back to the subject at hand, free toast: after much careful consideration, Ruudboy and myself decided to construct a special webpage (this one) where you can send us free toast if you want to, and if you have your own free toast, and if you can give your free toast away to people. Because it's a known fact that some people have free toast, but they aren't allowed to give it away to other people, while some people have free toast which they
are allowed to give away. If you're one of those people who has free toast which you are allowed to give away and you want to give Razor and Ruudboy some of your free toast, then please don't hesitate to give us that free toast, because like I said before, we are both of the opinion that free toast flat-out rules.
[Free Toast: The Appreciation]
Are you of the opinion that free toast flat-out rules, too? We're glad you feel that way, because as you've probably already deduced by now, we think free toast is the greatest thing since, well, sliced bread. Mmm, sliced bread...but anyhow, the main point of setting up this page was not to discuss sliced bread, but rather to inform all of you that if you have any free toast that you can give to us, we really like free toast and would appreciate it if you
would send us some. If you have free toast but you're not allowed to give any of it way to people, then you don't have to send us any, because we wouldn't want you to get in trouble for giving away your free toast when you're not supposed to. We're not especially endeared to the idea of
getting in trouble, either, so we don't want you to send us your free toast if it's the kind of free toast that you're not supposed to give away. That, my friends, would quite simply be wrong.
[Free Toast: The Final Declaration]
On the other hand, if you happen to have free toast which you
are allowed to give away and you feel like giving us your free toast, then please send it our way as soon as possible so that we can eat it, because we're always hungry and we hardly ever get any free toast for ourselves nowadays. And whenever we do get free toast for
ourselves, Ruudboy usually takes mine away from me. That's not very nice of him, but I don't really care, because I don't mind giving my free toast away to people who are in need. Like Ruudboy. And, uh, me too, I guess. Well, we're kind of bored now, and we're pretty sure you are too. I think we're going to go watch TV for awhile. See you later.
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Disclaimer: The AGCSWF is purely a work of fiction. All storylines, situations and characters depicted herein are fabricated. Any resemblance to actual individuals living or dead is entirely coincidental.
