He had a lot to prove to the people he was working with, although it was subtle, he knew that some of them were sceptical of his talent, quick to brush him off as ‘that guy in that boyband’.
It was during one of those cold nights in LA that Kevin had got around to thinking about where he wanted it all to go from there. The hotel he was in wasn’t as luxurious as the ones he had whenever he was travelling with the Backstreet Boys. In Broadway, nobody was treated better than the other, and he had himself a nice, simple room.
He almost gave up on the Backstreet Boys. The thought of being there with them again was suffocating him. He didn’t want to go back to being the responsible one all the time. He was tired of seeing AJ self-destructing, the break up with Sarah was just another example. He didn’t want to hear Howie start talking about his Lupus Foundation because it always brought him back to the dark days when he had lost his father. And he didn’t want to handle the unpredictable mood swings of Nick Carter. The last thing he needed was a rebellious teenager to look out for. And the thought of looking at Brian again, to know that he will be met with a smiling, radiant glowing father to be, was nauseating. He would have been a father himself by now if that woman hadn’t run away with her baby.
But of course, Kevin couldn’t run away from being a Backstreet Boy, or totally disconnect himself from his four brothers. They were in his blood, they were everywhere he went. No matter how much he was going to deny about it, he would always have them nagging at the back of his mind.
Because of that, he had found himself calling Howie a few weeks ago to congratulate him on the next DLF charity event and Howie had promised to catch one of his shows in two weeks, when the event end. He called AJ up to make sure that he had sobered himself and the young man had promised to help himself and would come see his show soon. He even swallowed his own stubbornness and called Brian to give him his long overdue congratulations. But the phone call to Nick was the hardest one.
How could he have called him a sell out?
You’re like my last life line, know what I mean? If I lost you, there’s nothing else, Nick had written in a card for his 29th Birthday. Never in his life, had he had someone who really needed him. Even Kristin was dependable enough to stand on her own, that was one of the reasons why he had fallen in love with her in the first place.
He remembered pulling Nick to the side after he had read that little note in the card. If by some stupid reason that you lost me, it means it’s time that you stand on your own, I know you can do it, he had told him. By the look on Nick’s face however, he wasn’t convinced, but the young man never said anything but nodded and smiled.
So Kevin didn’t call Nick.
-
The next day, he woke up refreshed and ready to start another day perfecting his acting for the night’s show. And he was looking forward to having lunch with his wife, who would be dropping by that day.
A perfectionist by nature, he woke up in the morning and went straight to the gym. None of the actors he knew shared his passion of working out and so he was yet again left on his own. It got him worried sometimes, if he had come across as arrogant. That was why he often made an effort to include himself in one of their outings, say, a short shopping spree in between breaks. They learnt quickly that it was never a good idea, for fans started to follow them around just to get a hug from Kevin.
After gym, he would be back in his room, polishing his lines to himself, only giving himself a break once he felt satisfied with himself. By noon, he was ready to meet his wife at the lobby.
She was stunning as always.
“Can we have lunch in one of the restaurants in the hotel instead of going out?” He had asked.
“Sure honey, are you too burnt out?” She chuckled as he rested his hand around her waist and started walking back to the restaurant at the first floor.
“Nah…I just don’t want to get recognised today, we only have two hours to spend before you have to go.”
“Aww, you miss me huh?”
Kevin raised an eyebrow. “Duh?”
“Baby, that is so blonde of you.” Kristin teased.
“Got it from you babe.” Kevin replied, laughing.
Too engrossed in their own world, both was callous to see where they were until a bump broke them apart. Kevin looked down and saw a little girl hugging his leg. She has long blonde hair with a tiny pink butterfly clip to keep her bangs in order. Her green eyes looking up at him questioningly. She smiled, a dimple appeared on her right cheek.
“Hi there sweety, what’s your name?” Kristin cooed, already squatting to meet her height. Kevin was still frozen in place. A sense of warmth and love coursed through him with the simple touch of her small arms wrapping around his leg, never letting go.
“Kelly.” She beamed.
Kelly. That could be their daughter’s name too.
“Hi Kelly!” Kristin smiled, waving her hand at her. “Isn’t she a beauty?” She asked, looking up at him.
Kevin smiled and turned to the girl. “Hi Kelly, I’m Kevin.”
“Hi Kevin!” She giggled. “My bwother is chasing me, you have to save me!”
“Aww, where’s your brother sweetheart? He must be worried about you.” Kristin asked.
“I’m suppose to hide.” Kelly replied.
“Where’s your parents sweetie. You can’t play too far or they’ll get worried.” Kevin asked as he brought himself down to her level. Before the little girl could answer, Kevin saw a little boy, about a year older than the girl, running towards them.
“I got you! I got you!” The boy cried, a satisfied smile on his face. He had blonde hair and blue eyes. Kevin wondered if Brian’s unborn child turn out to be a boy, if he would look like him.
Kelly’s small arms found it’s way around Kevin’s neck, holding on to him, pulling him to a hug. “Don’t let him take me! My bwother’s crazy!”
“It’s okay sweetheart, he won’t harm you.” Kevin chuckled. Wow, how incredible it was to have his own child hugging him this close, to need him for protection and love.
“Hey there!” Kristin said eagerly as the young boy reached them.
“Hi!” The boy smiled. “You got my sister!”
“Yeah, we got her. Now you promise to take care of her?”
“She’s suppose to hide.” He replied.
Kristin giggled. “This is a big place, you can get lost. Where’re your parents?”
“There you are!” Kevin looked up and found a couple approaching them, relief evidently clear on their faces. “I’ve been searching all over for you!”
Kevin got up and carried Kelly with him since she refused to let go.
“I’m sorry, these devils are a handful.” The man said. Kevin noticed they were a young couple, just like him and Kristin. The woman whom he assumed was the wife, even had blonde hair and blue eyes while the man was spotted with green.
“It’s okay. They’re such a delight.” Kevin replied. “I should give her back to you.” He laughed as he passed Kelly into his arms.
“Kevin, what did mommy tell you? No hide and seek unless we’re in our room.” The woman said, wiping the sweat from the little boy’s face.
“Goodness, I’m Kevin too.” Kevin laughed.
They parted ways soon after and it went silent between them. It was not until they were seated in the restaurant that Kristin spoke. “If we have a daughter of our own, she could look like Kelly, don’t you think?”
Kevin smiled. “Yeah, she could.”
“I mean, she’ll get the blonde from me, and the green eyes from you.” Kristin chuckled.
“She could.” Kevin replied, not really wanting to talk about it.
“We’re not giving up, right?” Kristin asked.
Kevin shook his head. “No. We will do it again when we’re not as busy okay?”
Kristin nodded, a wide grin on her face. Their conversation was interrupted when a waitress came and served them their complimentary drinks.
“I’m sorry to interrupt like this, I’m sure you want your privacy, but I’m a huge Backstreet Boys fan.”
Kristin chuckled. “No problem hon, Kevin loves his fans.”
“What’s your name?” Kevin asked.
She showed him her tag nervously. “My name’s Marianne.”
“Hi Marianne, nice to meet you.” Kevin offered a handshake, which she took gladly.
“Nice to meet you too Kevin and Kristin, you look lovely by the way.” Marianne said.
“Why thank you.” Kristin giggled. “You look wonderful too hun.”
“In this uniform?” Marianne laughed. “You’re too kind.”
“Ladies, I’m feeling left out here.” Kevin joked.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” Marianne laughed. “I’m going to your show tonight, I’m excited about it.”
“Glad you can make it, you could give me a feedback after the show.”
“I will.” The young waitress smiled. “I was just wondering if you’re going to see Nick’s show today, I’m bummed I can’t go, work and all.”
“He has a show here today?” Kevin asked.
The waitress nodded. “Yeah, it’s in three hours.” Marianne fished out a piece of paper and handed it to Kevin. “This is the flyer, I happen to have one with me. It’s just a fifteen minutes drive from here.”
“Thanks Marianne, I must have overlooked his schedules.”
“Well, it’d be a surprise to see you there.” She laughed.
“I bet.” Kevin smiled. “I tell you what, if I get to see him today, I’ll get his autograph for you and you can have it after the show tonight.”
If she wasn’t in a restaurant or happen to be working there, she would have scream in delight. Instead, Marianne’s eyes widen in surprise and her grin was lost. “Are…are you serious?”
Kevin smiled, stifling his giggled. “Of course.”
“Oh wow…you would do that for me?”
“I’ll do that for any of our fans.” Kevin replied.
“You really don’t have to,” Marianne replied. “But I’d appreciate it. I’ve never watched his concert before.”
“It’s not a problem, I’ll see you after the show tonight and you can have his autograph.”
“Thank you so much Kevin, you’re so nice!” Marianne said, trying not to get too excited. “And you too Kristin.”
“Pleasure’s all ours.” Kristin said.
“Well, I better get back to work, I’m already going against the rules for approaching you.”
“No problem, and I’ll talk to your boss if he’s unhappy.”
“You’re too kind,” Marianne smiled. “But I’m a big girl, I can handle a few yelling.”
“That’s my girl.” Kevin cheered.
It wasn’t until Marianne left that Kevin realised what he had got himself into.
“Oh no.”
Kristin giggled. “Yup, oh no buddy.”
“Why didn’t you stop me?” Kevin frowned.
Kristin laughed. “Honey, it’s about time you see that kid again, I know you miss him. And you did promise Marianne that you’ll get his autograph.”
“I don’t know…”
“All these not talking to each other will have to stop soon right? Why don’t you make that day today?”
“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” Kevin asked.
“Kevin, we’re talking about Nick, trust me, he’s going to appreciate it.”
-
Kevin decided to catch Nick before the show. It was cold that afternoon and the fans were out in the open, shivering yet buzzing with energy. The crowd was not as large as the ones they always had as the Backstreet Boys but Kevin also understood that Nick was going for smaller crowd these days.
So far, none of the fans noticed him, which was good considering he needed to do what he had came to do as soon as he could before that little voice in him decided to back out. He spotted Tony and went straight for him.
As expected, Tony was surprised to see him.
“You guys keep springing out surprises like this, the boy will get a heart attack soon.”
“Yeah? Who else came?”
“Howie and AJ met him before, but that was a while back too.”
Kevin nodded, glad that at least the three of them had got reacquainted. “How is he?”
“He’s doing good, the kid is really enjoying himself, but he’s feeling a lil bit under the weather lately.”
Kevin frowned. “Something troubling him?”
Tony smiled. “No. He’s just a lil bit sick. At least that’s what he said. He’s on antibiotics now.”
Kevin nodded. “I think I should bring you to him now, the fans found you.”
Kevin froze. “They’re coming over?”
“No, but they’re eyeing you right now, better get in before it gets a lil out of hand.”
Tony led him behind the barrier where a huge tent was set up right behind the stage. He missed performing out in the open. They had requested to do a show like this once but JIVE said that would be suicidal. They didn’t want the Backstreet Boys to be held responsible for blocking roads in the entire city.
“Oh, I have to tell you though, that he’s with Mandy.”
Kevin stopped on his track. “They’re back together?”
Tony laughed. “I don’t think he’s stupid enough.” Kevin relaxed. “She was nearby and decided to pop in for old time sake. I don’t think Nick’s enjoying it though, he was already sick.”
“She’s making him sicker.” Kevin laughed.
“You can say that.” Tony laughed. “Maybe you could save him.”
Kevin doubted it. Maybe he might just make him even sicker.
Tony left him once he was led inside and no one stopped him because he was Kevin Richardson. Both Mandy and Nick’s backs were facing him and he decided to stop on his track to compose himself.
“Still taking those meds?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t look good.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m not trying to be a bitch here Nick, I’m just saying you’re not well.”
“I know, my doctor told me that too. He gave me some antibiotics.”
“I’m worried about you.”
“I can handle myself, thanks.” Nick replied. “I’m not dying, sorry to disappoint you.”
“Why are you being so hard about this?”
“Look, I’m just not feeling well okay, sorry if you got me at the wrong time.”
“Fine, whatever.” Mandy sighed. “Just remember you’re always at risk, don’t overwork yourself.”
“Yeah…look, I’m really sorry, I’m just tired and you coming here-”
“Was a mistake, I know.” Mandy cut in. “I’m sorry if I rake up the past, I thought of watching your show, some of my girls wanted to see you perform, that’s all.”
“Thanks, hope you like the show.”
“I will.”
Kevin wondered what that conversation was all about. He started to walk over to them as he saw Mandy getting up and they ended with a quick hug before Mandy spotted him first.
“Kevin.” She smiled.
“Hi Mandy.” Nick turned around and the shock expression on his face said it all. “Hey Nick.”
Nick broke into a smile and his arms were already wide for a hug. “Hey bro!”
It felt good to hug him again, he was a little warm to the touch, probably from a slight fever.
“I better get going, nice to see you again Nick, Kevin.” Kevin nodded and they both watched Mandy walked out.
“Now I understand why it was so hard to let her go.” Kevin said as he eyed the young woman walked off.
“Kevin, she’s half your age.” Nick smirked.
“That would make her fifteen.”
“Stop questioning my maths ability.” Nick snapped.
Kevin laughed and then turned to look at Nick. He did look under the weather. His voice was a little nasal and his eyes looked puffy and swollen. His skin was pale. “You’re sick.”
“I’m glad you came.” Nick smiled.
Kevin took a deep breath and let it out slowly before looking straight at him. “I’m sorry for the things I said. I love you bro, I want you to know that.”
“I love you too.” Nick smiled. “I appreciate you coming today. I know you were in town.”
“And you didn’t call me?”
Nick shrugged. “It crossed my mind…but I’m not sure if you wanna hear from me.”
Kevin nodded. “I’m to blame for that…I’m glad I come too.”
“Are you going to stay for the show?”
“Of course,” Kevin smiled. “wouldn’t wanna miss it.”
“Cool,” Nick beamed. “although I have to warn you, I am sick.”
“Just don’t start hurling at the poor fans.” Kevin joked.
“I’ll try,” Nick smirked. “You gonna stay around after the show?”
“You want me?” Kevin asked.
“Yeah.”
“I will.”
Nick’s eyes brightened for the first time. “Excellent! We can chill out then.”
“Yeah, it’s been too long.”
Their conversation was interrupted by a crew informing him that he was to be on stage in five minutes.
“I have to go now, you’ll be around right?”
“With a box of pizza.” Nick laughed and started to walk off. Kevin bit his lips.
“Nick?”
Nick stopped and turned around. “Yeah?”
“You haven’t lost me.”
Nick smiled, all traces of being sick gone for a moment, replaced by a genuine glow. “You haven’t lost me either.”
