“Are you even listening man?”
Nick turned to his left, surprised to see Howie all dressed up in a uniform. It took him all of two seconds to realise that he was in a paramedic uniform and another two seconds to look down at what he was wearing, himself. He was dressed identical as Howie was.
Howie was a paramedic? How did that come about? Whatever happened to property agent?
“What?” Nick asked, still in a daze. His voice was raspy, like AJ. He stole a glance over at the rear view mirror and saw another guy looking back at him. Blonde hair with a similar haircut like Brian’s and brown eyes like AJ’s.
“Look, I know divorce could get ugly but you gotta pay attention man.” Howie said. Nick frowned. Divorce? “Men of our job will never get custody of our kids, if it’s Shane you’re worried about, just quit this job and get something nine to five.”
Nick only managed to smirk. He remembered once, when they were on the Black & Blue Tour, Howie had told him how he sometimes wished he had a nine to five job.
But that’s a job D, this isn’t, Nick had reminded him back then. He wished he could have said the same thing to him now, but Nick wasn’t even sure if being a paramedic was something he’d consider not a job. You save lives, that couldn’t very well be a hobby now, could it? It’s a responsibility, a job.
“But then again, we’re talking about you, Nick Carter. You live for this kind of stuff. A nine to five job just won’t be enough for you.” Howie chuckled. “You’ve been wanting to do this since you were a kid.”
“But I also want a family.” Nick replied. He wasn’t implementing on the family he had there though, he was thinking of his family back home. He wanted a family back home, where mom and dad were still together and he wasn’t separated from his brother and sisters. What good does it do being famous and living your dream if you don’t have a happy family anymore?
“You have a family bro,” Howie said. “it’s just gonna be a little different now.”
“Divorce makes you not a family anymore D, a family lives together, they love each other.” Nick said.
“Look, I know you still love your wife and kid but if Sharon really loves you, she wouldn’t make you choose between your job and them. And saying that she doesn’t want to wake up every morning wondering if her husband will be back alive is not a good reason to file for divorce. She knew the kind of life she was gonna get into when she married you man.”
Nick stole another glance at the reflection looking back at him. This man had a wife and kid and saved lives everyday, how amazing. He wished he wasn’t getting a divorce though.
“I guess she doesn’t want the kid to grow up fatherless if something happened to me.” Nick replied, although he had no idea if that was really the reason why Sharon wanted to leave him. Wow, he had a wife named Sharon. And a son.
“He’s already fatherless because of this Nick. You’ve not seen your son for three months now, how is that helping the kid?”
Nick decided he didn’t want to talk about ‘his’ life anymore. He was supposed to find out the kind of life Howie was living without the Backstreet Boys, not this other version of Nick Carter in this alternate world. The man who actually settled down and had a wife and a kid. He wondered if his son looks just like him.
No, stop it Nick!
“Let’s not talk about that for now kay?” Nick said. “How ‘bout you, how’s life in D’s land?”
Howie smiled as he turned the wheel to the right, into a stretch of clear road. “I’m one month and seven days away from being a father, what does that say about me?”
Howie was going to be a father? He wasn’t the Howie that Nick knew at all. Whatever happened to the Howie who would hop club after club, pub after pub and flirt with girl after girl, never ready to settle down? Whatever happened to the Howie who was afraid of commitment and being tied down?
“You’re a lucky guy.” Nick remarked.
“I am.” Howie replied. “I’m gonna give this job another two years tops Nick, then I’m thinking of setting up my own business...you know, set up a small restaurant or something. I want to be there for my girl when she grows up.”
Nick nodded. “I understand. I think you’re making the right decision.”
“Yeah well, I’m not as dedicated as you are, that’s why it’s easier to say goodbye to this job.”
“You know, you could try your hand at being a property agent, I hear the pay’s not bad.” Nick said, suppressing his laughter. Wait until Howie finds out what kind of a job he had there. He doubted Howie would ever see himself as a paramedic.
“You sure you’re not on crack?” Howie asked. “Kissing people’s asses until they buy what I’m selling? No way man.”
Nick laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Howie frowned. “That’s a stupid job.”
“It’s honest living my man.” Nick smiled.
“Well I’m not a people person okay? Unless they’re sick and need my help, I’m pretty much not the guy you wanna hang with.”
Nick’s eyes widened. “Are you kidding me? You’re like the nicest guy I’ve ever met!”
“In another universe you might.” Howie groaned. That caught Nick off guard. Was Howie trying to say that he wasn’t as nice and caring as ‘his’ Howie was?
“Come on D, you’re nice, that’s why your wife married you.”
“I’m nice, just not as much as to torture myself and become a property agent.” Howie sighed. “What the heck do I know about selling houses anyway?”
“Okay fine.” Nick giggled. “So let’s try this...what if you’re given another chance to go back to any time in the past as you like, what would you change?”
Howie seemed to be giving it a thought. Nick waited patiently, letting the time pass by studying the view stretched in front of him. Florida was beautiful.
“You’re gonna think I’m crazy.” Howie laughed.
“I won’t.” Nick said. “I promise.”
“And since when do you keep your promises?”
“Since right now.” Nick replied. “Come on, whatever we say will not leave this truck.”
Howie nodded, turning sideways for a second to eye him one last time. Nick rolled his eyes. “I swear.”
“I wanted to be a singer.”
“So what stopped you?”
“Is that it? You don’t think it’s funny?” Howie asked as he stopped for the red light.
Nick shook his head. “You love to sing and you have one heck of a voice, I know that much.”
“Yeah well, when Caroline died, I started to think you know...how long was I gonna jump from one audition to another? I need a stable job and my parents aren’t getting any younger. And I figured if I couldn’t save Caroline, I could save someone else.”
“Then you should be a doctor.”
Howie laughed. “I’m not that smart.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re not.” Nick laughed.
The rest of the ride was spent listening to the local radio. Nick learned by then that they were on their way back to the station, ready to end their shift for the day. Howie kept telling him of his plans to add the finishing touches to the nursery room he had been setting up for months now. It was weird at first; Howie seemed to remind him so much of Brian.
“Damn it, just when I thought we’re home free.” Howie grunted. It drew Nick back from his thoughts and was just in time to see a man standing on their path, waving his hands wildly for them to stop.
“What’s wrong?” Nick asked.
“Something stupid I bet.” Howie groaned. “Grab the first aid at the back; I’ll go check what’s up.”
It happened too fast, Nick wasn’t sure if it was even real. He had grabbed for the first aid box, still unsure if he even know what he was doing. Where Howie was standing, the man was practically yelling. He heard Howie yelling back at the man and it took him quite a while to realise that they were talking in Spanish.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Nick asked as he reached them. Howie was again yelling at the man, something about wanting him to shut up for awhile. Those little Spanish lessons Howie tried to teach him finally came to good use.
“Couple fight, fifth floor, have a nine month old kid, someone might be hurt.”
“We have to check it out.” Nick said.
“Radio in the police, I’ll go check it out first.” Howie said. Nick nodded and hyped by the sudden turn of events, he found himself running back to the truck and into the driver’s seat.
“Okay, now what?” Nick asked out loud. He had never used a radio before, what made him think he knew how to use it now? “Shit, what the heck am I suppose to say?”
Nick grabbed the radio in his hand and pressed the button at the side, that much he knew. “Er, we need police back up please.” Great, that sounded like a drive through to Burger King.
“Nick? What kind of a back up is that?” The voice at the other end of the transmitter said.
“It’s urgent okay, just send the police here now!” Nick yelled back into the radio.
“I will if you would at least give me an address.”
“Damn it!” Nick groaned. He looked out the truck and saw the same man who had waved to them earlier. He smirked.
“Sir, could you come here for a minute?”
The man rushed to him, eager to help. “Can you speak English?”
“What do you think I am, an idiot?” The man yelled. If he wasn’t in a rush, he would have given him a thing or two about social etiquette. He had had enough of Kevin’s lectures to give the man one of his own.
“I’m sure you know how to use the radio too, right?”
“Of course!” The man yelled. Nick rolled his eyes. “Okay, take this, tell the man the address to this place, ask for police back up, I know you can do that too.”
The man nodded and started talking in Spanish again. Nick was all too happy to be out of the way. He rushed up the dimly lit stairs, distinctly remembered that the fight was on the fifth floor.
“Now if only I knew which door.” Nick said to himself sarcastically. “Why can’t he be a property agent?”
DON’T TOUCH MY BABY!
I’M HERE TO HELP.
“Ah, spoke too soon Nick.” Nick mumbled as he followed the direction of where the commotion was.
Nick’s arrival was just in the nick of time. The burly man, whom he assumed was the husband, was lunging at Howie, who was busy inspecting the baby who was by then, lying motionless on the floor. He had a knife.
“D, MOVE!” Nick yelled. It was all he could have done in that short time span. Yell and hoped it was quick enough for Howie to understand that he was in danger. When the man took a stab on his back, he knew it was too late.
“PUT YOUR KNIFE DOWN! THE POLICE ARE ON THEIR WAY, DON’T BE STUPID!” Nick yelled at the man.
“I WANT YOU TO GO AWAY! GO BEFORE I KILL YOU TOO!” The burly man yelled at him. Nick knew he was slowly loosing his mind. Howie was frighteningly still and the pool of blood that was beginning to surround him was getting too much.
“Please, save my baby, don’t go!” The woman cried. She was sprawled on the floor not far away from where Howie and the baby were. It took him just one good look to tell that she was badly hurt too.
For a moment, time stood still. He couldn’t do this. He wasn’t Nick Carter the paramedic. He couldn’t even stand the sight of blood. And Howie doesn’t belong in that picture too. Howie cannot die, he just can’t. He’s about to be a father!
“Nick, it’s time to go.”
Nick felt a hand rest on his shoulder, squeezing it a little. It reminded him so much of Brian. He turned, knowing that he would find Vinhorian there.
“So, this is it huh?”
Vinhorian nodded. “Yes, this is how Howie’s going to live without the Backstreet Boys.”
“And die.” Nick said, pointing out to the still figure of his brother. “He’s gonna be a father soon, did you know that?”
“I know.”
“It’s not fair. He doesn’t deserve this.”
“What does he deserves then?” Vinhorian asked.
“He deserves to be a father.”
“But he’s not a father Nick,” Vinhorian pointed out. “he’s a Backstreet Boy, did you forget about that?”
Nick shook his head. Of course he hadn’t forgotten about that. Part of him knew that this wasn’t real but it was still Howie who was bleeding to death on that floor right then. It was still the same Howie who only minutes ago was boasting about his unborn child.
“Don’t get too emotional with this world Nick, it doesn’t exist for you nor for Howie,” Vinhorian reminded him. “Come on now, take my hand, it’s time.”
