"Where are you taking us?" Howie asked before he reached out to Brian and AJ on his sides.
"The future."
There was no time to react, the next thing he felt was as if he was being pulled out of his own body; just like when he was dreaming and his soul gets out of the body and wanders around. But as soon as it happened, he felt an unseen energy pulling him back into his body and seconds of dizzy spells later, he found himself in another place.
It looked like they were in someone's house, it was huge and expensively furnished. He noticed that the rest were there too, along with Vinhorian. He felt a little distracted then, as much as he wanted to know where they were, he was feeling something else that needed his utmost attention.
Subconsciously, he held his left palm up to this chest, feeling it beat calmly. He was getting all these emotions that he knew weren't there before. Pieces of memories that he didn't knew he had now coming back to him. Things that happened that he didn't knew were now a part of him.
"This is AJ's house." He said out loud. "I've never seen it before till today but I know that...am I making sense?"
He looked over at AJ, who was running his fingers down a shiny black piano. "I bought this house two years later and this piano has been an important part of my life...I stay here alone, still unmarried." AJ chuckled.
"When I bring you to the future, you will feel and know everything that the future you is feeling right now. You sense where they are and what they're doing, it's like you're living it. The good thing is, your future cannot see you like you can see them." Vinhorian explained.
"We disbanded right after the car accident." Brian said out loud, still shocked at the revelation he was feeling. "We gave it all up."
"We betrayed our fans." Kevin whispered. "I'm still married to Kristin and we have a daughter...I'm on Broadway but I feel...empty?"
"Nick, you're still singing." AJ giggled as he pointed to a framed picture of Nick accepting a Grammy award.
Nick frowned as he stared at the picture. He was smiling and holding the award proudly, but the picture felt wrong. "I dedicated the award to you guys. Said we should have won one of those when we were still together."
“You said if you could trade this award for anything in this world, it'd be to win it as a Backstreet Boy." Brian smiled.
"I don't like how I'm feeling right now." Nick frowned. "I feel so sad, like...I have too much on my shoulders." Nick pried his eyes away from the picture, somehow loathing just looking at it. He dug his hands deeper into his pockets, wishing he could get out of there.
"I'm still promoting DLF and producing for other artists," Howie claimed. "And own loads of properties."
"But you're not happy." Vinhorian stated. Howie nodded. Why was he so sad? Why does he feel so empty? Like he has no purpose in life anymore. He knew the break up was a group decision. The accident had been traumatizing to all of them.
"The accident almost claimed your life Nick," Vinhorian explained. Nick nodded, as if he already knew it. "And all of you had a difficult time accepting that,you handled it differently."
"If you died that day Nick, I would have never forgiven myself." Brian said, his eyes brimming with tears, recalling the incident as if he had been there and witnessed it. "I was so angry at you that day, I said things that I didn't mean and I didn't get the chance to take it all back."
"But I lived." Nick whispered. Both his lungs collapsed, broke a few ribs and was in coma for a week. He remembered the pain, the struggle of getting his feet back on the ground after that. He remembered the chaos they caused in the entertainment circuit. Fans were depressed, his family was crying. He knew AJ suffered swelling in his brain, Kevin broke some ribs and dislocated his shoulder. Howie broke his leg and suffered from smoke inhalation. Brian had a swollen lung and a huge concussion.
"And I still didn't tell you how sorry I was." Brian cried. "I was too caught up with the fact that I could have died and lost my family that they were all that mattered to me after that...I wasn't there when you needed me the most Nick, how could I?"
"We thought breaking up was the best cause we realized we wanted to be with our loved ones after that....that life was short...we' were wrong." Kevin sighed.
He remembered the last meeting very well. It was only the five of them, in a motel room where they used to bunk in together when they first started out. Everyone wasn't looking forward to another record, all just wanted time out with their family.
He found recording a hassle and they decided to end it. It was a wrong decision, he soon found out but the decision was already made. He remembered stumbling into Nick on one of his shows two years later and Nick had greeted him like always. He often watched him on TV even though they had lost contact, and the moment Nick called 'hey big bro', he knew they shouldn't have gone their separate ways. He didn't know if the others felt the same way, Brian never seemed bothered by it when they had one of those family reunions.
But he should have known that Brian was bothered as much. Brian hated even the mention of Backstreet Boys, it was his way of not handling the situation, even Leighanne had told him that. How could they end something so perfect?
"I want the group to go on, you guys are my lifeline." AJ replied.
"So did I." Nick replied. "I'm singing but I'm lost without you guys."
"I thought my family was everything, I forgot we are family too." Brian cried.
"This is messed up...I don't like our future." Howie exclaimed.
Vinhorian nodded sadly. "I brought you to AJ's house because something is about to go down, something that will end all possibilities of a Backstreet reunion. Remember that you will feel everything, get in touch with them and understand it."
Right after Vinhorian said that, they heard movements from somewhere in the house. AJ held his breath even though he knew whoever it was wouldn't be able to see them. He saw a man walking into the living room where they were and for the first time, he saw himself.
He was wearing a white shirt and beige cargo pants, his hair short and copper blond. He felt edgy and the familiar dizziness he was feeling meant that his future self was drunk. He felt a sinking feeling. So after all these years, I never did kick the habit.
"I'm on my way AJ, hang on." Nick cried. AJ looked at Nick, who seemed as distraught as the AJ from the future.
"What's wrong Nick?" Brian asked, wondering if it was the sight of the future AJ drunk that had got the young man distraught.
"Nick...you called..." AJ said when the memories came to him. He was breaking down, lost and aimless. He knew Nick was in town for a show, they had not been in touch for almost a year, none of them had. And Nick had called that morning, surprising him. He ended up pouring everything out, breaking down right there and freaking the hell out of Nick. He was totally wasted and was telling Nick how he wanted to end it all.
"AJ's going to kill himself!" Nick cried. He started pacing up and down, feeling all the desperation his future self was feeling. Nick’s future self was still driving, caught up in traffic. "How could you do this to me!" Nick yelled at AJ and then looked back at the future AJ. "How could you tell me you're giving up!"
Kevin forced himself to feel where his future self was when this was happening. How could he not know? Wasn't he the responsible one? The father of the group? Where is he!
"I'm in the middle of a show!"
Brian turned to his cousin, not understanding what he was saying. "What?"
"AJ's about to kill himself and I'm in the middle of a show."
"I'm at home staring at the phone." Howie whispered. "I wanted to call you." Howie said, looking at AJ. He shook his head, why didn't he pick the phone up and just call? It's AJ for God's sake, your bestfriend! Ex bestfriend, a voice reminded him.
"I'm going to shoot myself." AJ claimed, the color on his face drained altogether. AJ's future self was holding the gun, looking at it as if he was deciding where to point the barrel at. Howie stared in disbelief as the tears started to pave its way down AJ's cheeks, the gun raised up and pressed on his temple, fingers ready to pull the trigger.
"I'm going to do it." AJ whispered, knowing exactly what was going through his future self's mind.
"I'm here AJ, hang on!" Nick muttered, as if in a trace. "I'm here."
AJ doesn't know how he knows it, but something in him already said that it would be too late for anything now. He will pull that trigger.
"How could you do this to me God! How could you bring me to life and make me suffer like this! Am I not worthy to live anymore? Am I a mistake?"
AJ stared at himself, how could those words came out of his mouth? God never make mistakes, that's why He's God.
"Oh AJ..."He heard Howie sigh in desperation.
"Why did you give me all these luxuries and not give me love! Why do you abandon me when I needed you the most! Why did you take my brothers away from me! Why! Why!" AJ watched as his future self got up from his seat and pulled the gun away from his temple and aimed it straight ahead instead.
"WHY ALL THESE! I DON'T NEED THEM!"
He started shooting everything within his sight. It was like playing one of those cowboy games on Playstation. He never seemed to be running out of bullets, just kept firing from one corner to another. The theater set, the vases, the pictures, the awards they had won, the single couch, the door, the cross on the door and he kept his aim fixated there. Keep shooting at it even thought he had ran out of bullets. He had lost his faith, wouldn't Brian love to know this.
He dropped the gun carelessly on the ground, shocked at what he had just done. "I didn't leave a bullet for me."
The doorbell rang and he was surprised that the bullet didn't damage the thing. "Damn it, I'm in trouble."
AJ turned to look at his friends. Vinhorian doesn't seem to be shocked at what he had seen, in fact, he was still studying the future AJ making his way to the door.
"You didn't kill yourself." Brian smiled. "Thank God."
"I will after I chase whoever it is at the door." AJ replied sadly.
"Whoever it is at the door will not leave you alone AJ, I bet he will call the police to stop you." Kevin replied.
Nick frowned, a pain expression on his face. "I'm here J." AJ's eyes widen. "You came?" He didn't let Nick answer, his attention now back to his future self, opening up the door.
"Nick?"
Nick was leaning against the door frame, his expression showed that he was disappointed in him. "I'm here to help you Alex, why did you shoot me?"
AJ's eyes widened and his gaze dropped to the bloodstain on Nick's shirt. "Oh God Nick! I didn't mean to..." He couldn't finish his sentence, Nick lost his balance and AJ quickly caught him half way.
There was so much blood, so much....panic...what should he do? "Nicky I'm sorry...I'm sorry...please, don't die...I don't want you to die...please!"
What just happened? AJ thought to himself as he looked on to his future self cradling Nick in his arms. He killed Nick? He thought he could never get his eyes away from the scene but a small groan somewhere near him managed to pull him away.
Brian was holding on to Nick, who seemed to be in a lot of pain. "Nick, what's wrong?"
Vinhorian squeezed AJ's shoulder to get his attention, his deep blue eyes glazed and sad. Vinhorian never shows his emotion openly, but now, AJ was seeing it as clear as daylight.
"Nick's just feeling what is happening to him."
"Get us out of here, bring us back to the garage, Nick cannot survive in here!" Kevin cried.
Vinhorian shook his head and closed his eyes. "The lesson is not over Kevin, I can't bring you back until we're done."
"DONE WITH WHAT? NICK IS DYING! HE'S NOT SUPPOSE TO BE DEAD! WE'RE NOT YET LIVING THE FUTURE!" Howie shouted, loosing his calmness altogether. He was crying, his ears painfully taking in the cries of Brian begging Nick to hang on, it mirrored the wailings of AJ's future self begging for Nick to forgive him.
And then it stopped.
Something new was filling them all up. It was empty and yet at the same time it was filling their emotion. It took Kevin forever to understand what was going on and when he did, he wished he hadn't.
"Nicky died."
They looked down at Nick, motionless in Brian's arms. It was silent until they heard AJ's future self screaming at the back.
"WAKE UP NICK! I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL YOU! I WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL MYSELF!"
AJ turned to Vinhorian, trying to stifle his sobs so that he could talk. "I've learn my lesson, please, take us away from here, I want Nicky back with us.”
