Graduation

6:50 pm

Disclaimer: see part 1.

Dedication: To any kid who's ever given a speech at an SHS drama banquet, and in particular to Katie T. whose words about the theater never left my head.


The library was silent.

Without the illumination of any lights save for one lone bulb at the checkout desk, it exuded an aura of calm, stoic authority. Removed from the presence of familiar figures, both children and adults, living and undead, carefree and burdened, its silences, like the cluttered shelves in its midst, spoke volumes. If this room could have spoken aloud, it would have recounted tales both numerous and amazing, a play of a hundred dazzling and terrifying acts.

As this silent participant rested peacefully in the evening’s lull, a girl interrupted its musings. She pushed open one of the large, wooden swinging doors tentatively with one small hand and stepped inside, her slight frame sporting a long, loose black robe over a simple but unspeakably lovely sage green slipdress. She took slow, shy steps inside, almost as if she were entering for the first time, her square mortarboard hat clutched tightly in front of her. She strode quickly over to the small office on her right and poked her head inside. Seeing no one, she let out a relieved breath. She turned and slowly walked back to the middle of the room, eyes cast up at the ceiling as if she could see the stars through it, looking for all the world like a saint about to offer up a soft supplication to her own deity.

The girl laid her cap down on the table in front of her and wrapped her arms around herself as if she were cold, but in truth the library made her feel exactly the opposite. Whenever she entered in here, she felt as if someone had lovingly wrapped her up in the softest, warmest blanket in the world. She felt accepted, she felt safe, she felt like a strong, complete person in here, as opposed to on the outside where she was just another kid, wet behind the ears. After a long pause, she began to speak.

“Why do I feel like I want to cry, just standing here? You know, you threaten to overwhelm me when I’m just here by myself. I don’t wanna leave.” She swallowed hard as tears sprang to her eyes.

“I’ve done so much in here, I’ve *changed* so much in here. . . I remember that first day, when Xander and I found out about the Hellmouth and vampires and Giles gave that whole big lecture on it, and we really met Buffy. Well, you know, we had met her before, but we really didn’t know her before we knew about the Slayer thing. I mean, being friends with Buffy and not knowing she’s the Slayer would be like being friends with Buffy and not knowing she’s a girl. . . you can’t really know her without understanding that one really vital thing about her. Even that day, that first day, there was, I don’t know, a *line*, a divider between the library and the rest of the world. It’s like when you hear a certain song or smell a certain fragrance when something important happens to you. . . you remember it forever. That’s what being in here is like, only a hundred times stronger. I felt true terror in here for the first time, I knew real anger here, I felt betrayal here, I knew love and hate and grief and death here, I found true friendship here, hell, I almost died here. And I don’t think that will ever wear off. Ever. If I walk in here again when I’m eighty years old, I’ll probably drop dead of a heart attack from the sheer emotional potency of this place. It’s almost like you’re alive, somehow. . . like you’ve been watching everything we do. . . ” She sniffed a little as a solitary tear ran down her face, unheeded.

“I can’t wait to leave the Hellmouth behind. I’m excited about moving out of the house and living life on my own, I’m thrilled by the prospect of all the things I’m gonna learn in college. But I don’t wanna leave here. This is the one place that my soul is hanging onto for dear life, kicking and screaming, while my future tries to drag it along. This place. The place where I lost my innocence, the place where I learned how to like myself and fight against evil, the place that turned a girl into a woman. That sounds really stupid, but. . . it’s true. This place, where the Slayer, my best friend, and the Slayerettes can live forever.” The girl looked around the room through her tears and let out a small laugh. “Well, whaddya say. . . wanna be a Slayerette?” She giggled a little at her last phrase and sighed, wiping the salt tears from the planes of her delicate face. She didn’t even hear the door open behind her.

“Willow,” the soft voice of her boyfriend, Oz, broke her reverie. She just favored him with a smile that was a little sad, and he took her hand and kissed it gently. “You okay? ‘Cause it’s time to go do the graduating thing.”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” the redhead said softly, but with a firm and decided undertone. She gave Oz a small, sweet kiss on the lips before she let his hand go and walked to the door. “Let’s go, huh?”

Oz smiled and followed Willow’s retreating form to the exit. Something, he wasn’t sure what, made him turn around, though. His ears pricked up a little, thinking maybe he had heard a small noise, but the library’s gracious silence was all that came to him. He looked around at the room, a little puzzled, and then a knowing smile spread across his features. With respect evident in his eyes, he gave the room a parting nod. To those who knew the boy, that small motion was quite a compliment. Oz somehow felt the library nod back sagely, and he turned out the door to follow his girlfriend, feeling suddenly very confident and very safe.


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