[The NWO has just returned from a commercial break.]
[ Wierd music begins to play, the crowd is confused. There was no match schedule for anyone with that type of music at this point in time. As the crowd silences, three cloaked men walk out from behind the NWO curtain. The fans recognize two of these men as the two whom have been doing the backstage attacks, and then men that screwed up the Tag Team Title match earlier that day. The three black-cloaked men walk into the ring and reach for a microphone. ]
[ Joey Styles ]
[ Joel Gertner ] - I don't know, but this whole ominous attacking from behind is giving me the creeps.
[ Joey Styles ] - I think we may just finally find out who these two jokers are.
[ Joel Gertner ] - I hope so....I hope so.
[ The three cloaked men, whom have been attacking many people, and seem to be targeting tag teams, stood side by side. The man on the left, shorter than the one on the right but taller than the middle man, raises the microphone to his face. The one of the right blocks the microphone from going any farther and shakes his finger. The two look at each other and then knod their heads in approval. The three figures remove their cloaks. The crowd boos. ]
[ Joel Gertner ] - WHAT!?
[ Joey Styles ] - Good Lord! Thats, that's Syzurz and Jack Jacobs with Mr. Yamaguchi!! What the hell is going on around here?
[ Joel Gertner ] - I'll tell you JR, someone let the foreign imports back into the country!
[ Syzurz and Jack Jacobs laugh, and the Syzurz lifts the microphone and begins to speak.]
[ Syzurz ] - Surprise? Well, if we three were as stupid as you are, we'd probably be just as surprised as you are.
[ Jack Jacobs ] - So what are you looking for? And explaination maybe? Well, I guess you stupid American pig-heads deserve at least that. Go ahead Syzurz...
[ Syzurz ] - Alright, I'm going to say this a bit slowly, so try to keep up with me here. We are the past and the future of the wrestling business. Can you tell me what ever happened to a 'wrestling match' around here?
[ Jack Jacobs ] - Beats the hell out of me Syzurz. It seems that entertainment has gotten the best of sport and now these American nimrods don't even know what they're watching anymore. Listen up, you maroons, we are wrestlers.
[ Syzurz ] - That's more than stating the obvious Jack. I don't know if these Americans, here in the heart of America, can comprehend you. Not only are we wrestlers, but we're REAL wrestlers. The garbage that you watch every week, sometimes even twice a week, isn't wreslting. It's filth, garbage, more trash shoved into your heads just so that Chuck Reese can get ratings over the Internet Wrestling Organization, the IWO. Well, we're here to make the difference.
[ The crowd boos at Syzurz, Jack Jacobs and the mentioning of the Net World Orders rival association, The Internet Wreslting Organization. Syzurz and Jack Jacobs wait there, soaking up all the boos and smiling as if uneffected by the crowds shouts. ]
[ Syzurz ] - Are you morons done yet!? Our time is precious and we've got plenty to say. Now, granted, I understand it may be a lot to absorb for you morons. Continue Jack... [ Jack Jacobs ] - We're going to start here, in the tag division, where the problem is at its worst. Sting? Just some creep in face paint that's being carried by his tag partner Graves. The Impact Players couldn't hold a candle to Syzurz and I, real wrestlers. The Turnpike Connection can brag all they'd like, but they're no where close to real wrestlers, traditional wrestlers like us.
[ Syzurz ] - As a child I was trained in Lucha Libre style wrestling, then I went to Canada and improved my skills further. Jack Jacobs was trained in the famous Dungeon trained by Stu Hart himself. The reason we trained the way we did? Tradition, the reason Jack Jacobs and I wrestle the way we do is tradition, the reason I don this mask each and every time I come out here is because of tradition.
[ Jack Jacobs ] - The reason we attacked other wrestlers. That's the only thing that catches you Attention Deficit Disordered morons nowadays. Wrestling just doesn't cut it for you, well that's to change as of now, since we've hit the scene. It's time for reform... change.
[ Syzurz ] - No one in the NWO makes The Cut when they ran in the ring with Syzurz. Quite frankly, no one holds a candle to either of us, not The Acolytes, not the Outsiders, not the The Turnpike Connection either. And yes guys, attacking you DOES mean that we want a peice of you, in a wrestling ring. As Jack Jacobs said, it's time for change.
[ Jack Jacobs ] - Oh, and if you're wondering guys, the answer is yes. We ARE taking shots at those people. Just remember... things will NEVER be the same...
[ Syzurz ] - ...and that's just the way it is! You've now just experienced, The International Incidents.
Joey Styles: WOW! What a show so far! We got a New Television champion along with a new pair of Tag Team champions! What else could happen tonight?Joel Gertner: Its called Mudwrestling!
Joey Styles: WILL YOU SHUT UP!?! Lets head back to the ring, its time for the "BATTLE ROYAL FOR THE BENJAMINS!
Battle Royal For The Benjamins
Ken Shamrock VS Carter Davids VS JJ Newberry VS Josh Hirsch VS Ernest Miller VS Tazz VS KaosStyles: This match coming up will be for a 10,000 dollar bonus and what a war it is going to be. 7 of the NWO superstars will be getting it on in this ring here in a few seconds.
Joel: No kidding, I think Tazz is going to come out on top.
Lillian: The following match is a 7 man battle royal, the winner will take home a bonus of 10,000 dollars. First coming to the ring Ken Shamrock.
~Shamrocks music blasts over the PA system as he comes walking out towards the ring snapping and yelling at the fans. He jumps in the ring and waits.~
Lillian: Coming to the ring next Carter Davids.
~ Carter David walks out as the fans boo him like crazy. He runs in the ring and starts pounding on Shamrock. Lillian gets scared and jumps out of the ring. As Carter slams Shamrock all the other participants run out and climb in the ring. The bell has rang and the 7 man battle is underway. Shamrock is kicking Davids in the gut with vicious kicks that will cause internal injuries. Meanwhile "The Cat" and Newberry are trying to lift Josh over the top but Tazz attacks them from behind. Tazz, the street thug is pounding away on the helpless Josh. Tazz then whips him and clotheslines him over the top rope. ~
Joel: Tazz eliminates Josh with a huge clothesline over the top.
Joey: Josh didnt last very long, Im sure CEO Chuk Reese wont be happy with his performance here.
~ 6 people are left. Josh is walking towards the back as "The Cat" has Shamrock in the piledriver position but Tazz runs behind and applies the Tazmission on Ernest and tries to choke him out. Shamrock breaks the hold and yells out "Your a stupid ass Tazz, this submissions dont count!" Tazz reacts and plows over Shamrock as they start their own little fist fight. Koas and JJ are having a battle as Koas is kicking JJ down into the turnbuckle repeatedly. JJ hits the low blow and goes up top, Koas quickly recovers and knocks JJ off the top and on to the outside. ~
Joel: JJ Newberry is eliminated, he didnt look very impressive tonight.
Joey: I know, but what a hell of a match this has been, there is now 5 people left in it Tazz, Koas, Ernest, Shamrock, and Carter Davids.
~ Koas and Ernest begin to go at it as Koas punches Ernest repeatedly, Ernest falls and gets back up, Koas knocks him down again as Davids clotheslines Koas from behind as they do the double team on Koas. They whip him in the rope as Koas comes back with a double clothesline that takes them right off their feet. Koas is building up momentum as he grabs Davids by the neck and send him flying over the ropes head first. Then Ernest sneaks up from him behind and hits the reverse DDT. ~
Joey: 4 people left in this battle royal, Koas, Shamrock, Ernest Miller, and Tazz.
~ Shamrock and Tazz lock up as Tazz hits the back to belly suplex, calling Shamrock " A fucking idiot" with his always gruel language. Tazz picks him up and whips him in the turnbuckle, he comes charging at him, Shamrock moves as Tazz runs shoulder first into the turnbuckle, Shamrock gives Tazz the snap-suplex. Shamrock bangs his head and yells. ~
Joey: Holy Shit, Shamrock has just snapped, I think everyone in that ring is going down.
~ Back in the ring Shamrock is hammering away on Tazz, Koas and The Cat are also battling it out, The Cat slams Koas to the mat, Koas is busted open. He is dazed by the ropes as Ernest drop kicks him over the top. Its down to 3 men, Tazz and Shamrock exchange blows as Ernest is taking a rest watching them battle it out, Tazz suplexes Shamrock over the ropes and is staring at Shamrock on the outside as Ernest Miller sneaks up and tosses him over in a cheap way. ~
Lillian: The winner of this match, and gets a 10,000 dollar bonus, Ernest Miller.
NWO Intercontinental Title (Ladder Match)
The Rock (Champion) VS Bret HartLilian Garcia: This next match is a ladder match, and is for the NWO Intercontinental title! Introducing first, the challenger. He hails from Calgary, Alberta, Canada… he comes in at 6’0” and 235 pounds… The Excellence of Execution, Bret Hart!
[The Washington DC fans rise to their feet as they watch Bret Hart enter the stage. Immediately upon arrival, Bret Hart is greeted with an array of boos. With the Canadian flag in his left hand, Bret Hart confidently strides down the aisle way, ready for battle. Suddenly, Bret Hart stops in the middle of the ramp, and approaches a fan. The fan waves a sign at Hart, which reads, “Go back to Canada”. Enraged, Bret Hart snatches the sign away from the fan, and flips him off. Bret Hart passes the wooden ladder on the ramp, and enters the ring waving the Canadian flag back and forth.]
Lilian Garcia: And his opponent, from Miami, Florida. He weighs in at 6’5”, and 275 pounds. He is the current Intercontinental Champion, The Rock!
[The Rock’s music hits, and “The Great One” enters the stage. Still, though, The Rock is met with boos merely because of his association with the New Blood. The Rock sees the Intercontinental Title hanging by a wire above the ring, and rushes inside to meet with Bret Hart. Once inside, the bell rings, thus starting the match-up. The Rock starts out early, laying a few closed fists to the face of Hart. Just then, Bret Hart ducks a fist from The Rock. The Rock staggers with his missed swing, and ends up feeling a Manhattan drop. The Rock drops to the ground, favoring the “People’s Jewels”. Bret Hart takes this opportunity to begin stomping away at the leg of The Rock. Bret Hart grabs The Rock’s right leg, and delivers an elbow drop to the inside of the knee. Bret Hart doesn’t release his hold on The Rock’s leg, and gets up to drop another elbow drop to the knee. Bret Hart lets go of The Rock’s leg, and permits him to get to his feet. Bret Hart grabs The Rock’s arm, and Irish whips him to the ropes. The Rock anticipates the maneuver, and reverses it, turning it into a massive spine buster. The Rock lifts Bret Hart to his feet, and grabs him. Pulling Hart towards himself, The Rock lifts him into the air, and drops him to the mat with a Samoan Drop.]
Joey Styles: The Rock is making a comeback here, Joel. This is anybody’s match.
[Slowly, Bret Hart rises to his feet. The Rock meets him with a boot to the stomach, and a quick DDT that sends Bret Hart face first into the mat. With Bret Hart laying flat on the mat, The Rock goes outside of the ring to go after the ladder. Bret Hart slowly makes it to his feet just in time to see The Rock slide the ladder underneath the ring. Bret picks the ladder up while The Rock re-enters the ring through the ropes. Bret Hart bounces off of the opposite ropes with the ladder in his hands, and smashes the Rock in the legs with it. With the sickening blow, The Rock collapses to the mat.]
Joel Gertner: OOH!! It looks like the ladder is finally coming into play in this match!
Joey Styles: Bret Hart is tearing The Rock’s legs apart! If this keeps up, The rock will have no WAY of being able to climb the ladder.
[Bret Hart picks up the ladder once more, and begins driving it forcefully into the legs of The Rock. By now, The Rock is screaming in pain. Bret Hart sets up the ladder, and leaves it standing in the middle of the ring. Bret Hart returns to find The rock back to his feet, beginning to build a limp. The Rock charges at Hart with a clothesline, but Bret dodges it by running to the ropes. Bret Hart clips the back of The Rock’s knee, sending him back down to the canvas. Showing great tenacity, The Rock pops back up and knocks Bret Hart down with a charging forearm. Bret Hart gets up, and is quickly put back down with a clothesline. The Rock picks Bret Hart up, and throws him into the standing ladder. Bret Hart, exhausted, lays motionless with the ladder sitting atop him.]
Joey Styles: Could it be? Is The Rock setting up for…?
Joel Gertner: The People’s Elbow!!
[The Rock gets into position, getting a familiar look in his eyes. The Rock stands over Bret Hart’s decimated body, and pulls his elbow pad off of his arm. Following the swinging of his arms, The Rock plunges into the ropes parallel to Bret Hart’s body. Once arriving at the final point of the People’s Elbow, The Rock notices Bret Hart trying to lift himself up. The Rock stops in place to stomp Bret Hart back down, and finishes his move with a quick elbow drop onto the ladder. The ladder crushes down onto Bret, who doesn’t move after the elbow drop.]
Joey Styles: Oh my GOD!!!
[The Rock pulls the ladder off of Bret Hart’s body, and sets it up in the middle of the ring. He begins climbing while Bret Hart tries to recuperate. The Rock reaches the top of the ladder, swinging his arm in an effort to grab the Intercontinental Title. Bret Hart, at this point, is standing, and pushes the ladder from underneath The Rock. The Rock crashes down to the mat, with his leg hitting the ladder. Bret Hart drags The Rock to the ropes, and places his harmed right leg on top of the bottom rope. Bret Hart begins bouncing on the rope, and soon comes crashing down onto the leg, much to the dismay of The Rock. The Rock begins to yell again, as Bret Hart squashes the right knee of the Rock. After the second squat, The Rock struggles to his feet, standing at an awkward position.]
Joel Gertner: Man, the x-rays for The Rock’s legs are going to look like a jigsaw puzzle by the time this night is over!
[Bret Hart and The Rock begin trading blows back and forth. Bret hits The Rock in the face. The Rock hits Bret Hart in the face. After minutes of grueling battle, these two men are dead even. Suddenly, The Rock blocks one of Bret’s punches, and delivers a fist of his own. The Rock drills Bret with another punch, and another, and another. Finally, Bret is caught in the corner. The Rock throws his hand back, and spits on it. In one swift strike, The Rock sends Bret Hart sailing over the ropes. Hart is flat on his back as The Rock taunts him, daring him to get up. Bret builds up his strength to rise up, and grabs the legs of The Rock, sending him flat on his back on the mat. Bret pulls The Rock’s legs around the ring post, tugging at his legs until they do not extend any further. Bret then tangles his legs between those of The Rock’s, building a Figure Four position around the ropes. The referee goes outside, begging Bret to release the hold, but Bret just shoves him away. Hoping to hear a snap, Bret Hart tightens the hold. The Rock begins reaching behind him for the fallen wooden ladder. After about a minute of struggle, The Rock grasps the ladder, and holds it upright. He tosses the ladder in the air, as it flips outside of the ring, and onto Bret Hart’s face. Stunned by the blow, Bret Hart releases the ring-post Figure Four Leglock. The Rock exits the ring, favoring his right leg completely. While stomping at Bret Hart’s face, The Rock tosses the ladder back into the ring.]
Joey Styles: Oh my God! That’s one way to counter such a agonizing maneuver. The Rock is obviously smart enough to compete in this type of a match with Bret Hart!
[Setting the ladder directly underneath the Intercontinental belt, The Rock begins to climb as Bret Hart begins to come back to his senses. The Rock hesitantly climbs each rung, while Bret Hart silently climbs into the ring behind him. While The Rock is near the top, Bret Hart grabs his left leg. The Rock kicks back, knocking Bret Hart down to the ground. The Rock then refocuses his attention to the belt above him, and reaches desperately for it. Just inches away from winning the match, The Rock attempts to jump for the belt. Just then, Bret Hart pushes the ladder over, sending it down on top of referee Tim White. Falling off of the ladder, The Rock sails over the top rope, and onto the unforgiving ringside floor.]
Joey Styles: Oh my GOD!! The Rock might just be broken in half after that one!
Joel Gertner: What is Hart doing? Doesn’t he realize that the belt is hanging in the CENTER of the ring?
[Bret Hart sets the ladder up again, this time right next to the ring ropes. He climbs a few rungs, and then dives over the ropes with a high diving forearm smash. The Rock instinctively lifts his leg, causing Bret Hart to dive straight into his boot. Bret Hart bounces off of The Rock’s boot, and lands flat on his back. The two men are down for a while, catching their breath. The Rock is the first to get to his feet, and rolls both the ladder and Bret Hart into the ring. Bret Hart decides to climb back up to his original stance, ready to greet The Rock once he enters the ring. The Rock climbs inside, and sees Bret charging at him with a clothesline. The Rock ducks the clothesline, and wraps his arm around the body of Hart. Pausing briefly to look at his surroundings, The Rock eventually delivers the Rock Bottom directly onto the ladder. Bret Hart cringes in pain, unable to retaliate from the powerful move. The Rock sets the ladder up over the body of Bret Hart, and begins his climb. Painfully, The Rock inches up to his goal. Each step causing him a great deal of pain, The Rock slowly makes his way to the Intercontinental Title. With two failed attempts at grabbing the title, The Rock carefully climbs up another rung. Throwing his hand up at his title, The Rock grabs the Intercontinental Championship, and makes his way down the ladder proudly. The Rock hold the Intercontinental Title high in the air, as the fans begin to boo him. Bret Hart gets up, and notices that The Rock has grabbed the title. He sneaks up behind The Rock, and throws out his knee from under him. The Rock falls to the ground, grasping his injured knee. Bret begins stomping at the knee of The Rock, trying hard to cause some serious injury. Bret Hart then lifts Rock up, and grabs the Intercontinental Title. He charges at The Rock, and smashes him in the face with the title. With the Rock knocked out, Bret Hart heads towards the fallen Tim White in the corner. Shaking his shoulder to revive him, Bret Hart tries to show the referee that he has grabbed the Intercontinental Title. The referee finally comes to, and sees the title in Bret Hart’s hand. Weakly, he waves Bret Hart as the winner, and the bell rings.]
Lilian Garcia: And the winner of this match... AND THE NEW.. NWO Intercontinental Champion.. Bret… Bret H…
[All of a sudden, senior referee, Earl Hebner dashes down to the ring. He lifts Tim White to his feet, and begins explaining the situation. The two of them begin talking about the events that had just occurred, until Tim White heads over to Lilian Garcia, who is sitting in her chair at ringside.]
Joey Styles: What the Hell is going on here? Don’t we have a winner here?
Joel Gertner: Sure we do. It’s that man, right there. Bret Hart!
Joey Styles: But The Rock is the one who grabbed the belt!
Joel Gertner: What match are you watching, Styles? The Hitman just won this match fair and square!
[Referee Earl Hebner grabs the title from Bret Hart, and climbs the ladder to reattach it from where it once was hanging. Bret Hart starts questioning Earl Hebner in his actions, and demands to know what is going on once Earl Hebner gets back to the ground. The Rock groggily rises, just in time to hear Lilian Garcia give an announcement.]
Lilian Garcia: Ladies and gentlemen, Refere Tim White has just informed me that due to the uncertain ending to this match, he has ordered that this match will officially restart!
Joel Gertner: WHAT?!
[Bret Hart suddenly understands, and is absolutely enraged in what he has just heard. He turns around, and is met by The Rock, who immediately Irish Whips Bret Hart. However, The Rock doesn’t let go of the arm of Bret Hart, and pulls him back into a fast powerslam. The Rock then grabs a hold of the legs of Bret Hart, locking them up into a sharpshooter. He pulls back as hard as he can, but Bret Hart struggles the move. Bret begins pushing up with his arms, sending The Rock to fall forward. Bret keeps the lock in their legs, and begins pulling back on Rock’s legs. In that one, quick movement, Bret Hart has reversed The Rock’s sharpshooter into one of his own!]
Joey Styles: My God, Bret Hart has found a reversal for the Sharpshooter out of nowhere! How did he do that?
Joel Gertner: That’s why he is called the Excellence of Execution.
[Suddenly, Bret Hart gets an idea, and releases the Sharpshooter. He gets to his feet, and grabs the wooden ladder. Placing it over The Rock’s back, he pulls The Rock’s leg between two gaps of the ladder, and pulls back in a sickening variation of the Sharpshooter. More than ever before, The Rock begins screaming in agony, as he feels his legs slowly tear apart.]
Joey Styles: The Hitman has snapped!
Joel Gertner: And by the looks of it, so did The Rock’s leg.
[For some reason, Bret Hart releases the move. He pulls the ladder off of The Rock, and sets it up in the corner. Then he lifts The Rock to his feet, and Irish Whips him to the ladder. However, Bret has strained The Rock’s legs so much that he collapses just short of the ladder. Bret Hart laughs this off, and genuinely strolls over to The Rock, who is struggling to stand. Out of nowhere, The Rock delivers a drop toe hold to Bret Hart, sending him smashing face-first into one of the rungs of the ladder. While the wooden rung slightly cracked, Bret Hart’s face is sliced open. The Rock then positions the ladder underneath the Intercontinental Title, and begins climbing. With every last effort in his body, Bret Hart ascends, and begins climbing the opposite side of the ladder. The two men meet at the top of the ladder, punching and brawling away. Soon enough, The Rock gains the upper hand, and Bret Hart is teetering on his side of the ladder. Just then, he grabs the side of the ladder, and swings partially around. He kicks the cracked rung that The Rock happens to be standing on, causing it to break off of the ladder. The Rock’s leverage is lost, and his leg is caught in the ladder as his upper body hits the canvas hard.]
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!!! What a smart move by Bret Hart!
[Bret continues his climb to the top, and reaches for the title. The Rock is worn out, and is not moving as his leg is in an uncomfortable position, still stuck between two rungs of the ladder. Bret hops up, and reaches the belt, unhooking it from the hanging wire above his head. Bret hops off of the ladder, sending it crashing down, as he heads towards the corner, and unhooks the Canadian flag from there. Bleeding abundantly from his forehead, he responds to the thousands of booing fans in attendance by raising the Intercontinental belt in one hand, and the Canadian flag in the other.]
Lilian Garcia: Your winner for this match, and the NEW Net World Order’s Intercontinental Champion, Bret “The Hitman” Hart!
20 Man Celebrity Over The Top Rope Battle Royal STYLES: Well, let's get back into the ring, 20 of the world's top athletes are going to be in a battle royal for pride and some serious cash! President Chuck Reese is in the ring now to explain what will happen!
REESE: Washington, D.C., we provide more excitement than the conventions, and we rock Monica's bed more than the Prez ever could!
(Fans explode in agreement.)
Ladies and gentlemen, these 20 in the ring represent some of the top stars of the athletic world! They come from baseball, football, hockey, tennis, track, amateur wrestling, basketball, boxing, and cycling! The winner of this event will be able to give $50,000 to a charity of his choice, not to mention being called the BADDEST MOTHERF**KER of them all!
(Fans are going nuts!)
Gentlemen, good luck, and come out fighting at the bell!
GERTNER: You know, Joey, that Monica's coming over to see my cigar collection after the show, right?
STYLES: Joel, I sure as hell don't want to know about it!
(DING! DING! DING! The bell sounds, and the battle royal is under way. Almost immediately, Alexander Karelin and Jevon Kearse tear into each other, and other battles break out around the ring, such as Chris Pronger and Bob Probert, and Alonzo Mourning vs. Bruce Smith. Meanwhile C.J. Hunter easily dumps Mark Phillippousis over the top rope with relative ease.)
GERTNER: Boy, the Aussie didn't last long, did he? About as long as Al Gore did as he kissed Tipper in L.A.!
STYLES: Would you stop the sexual references, Gertner! I really have no need to be detained by the Secret Service!
GERTNER: There are some FINE debutantes that I'd like to detain! MEOW!
(In the ring, Lance Armstrong, David Tua, and Marty McSorley are all outside, eliminated respectively by Probert, Kearse, and Abbas Ali Jadidi.)
STYLES: Something of interest, Jadidi is one of Iran's top wrestlers, he lost to Kurt Angle in 1996 at the Olympics for the gold medal at the 220 pound weight class! Meanwhile, John Rocker sure hasn't endeared himself, he's got a handful trying to toss him out.
(Hunter, Brian Grant, Mike Tyson, and Dennis Rodman are all teaming up as Rocker holds onto the turnbuckle. Karelin is working at the other end of the ring, scoop slamming Eric Karros as if he was a doll. Lennox Lewis is tussling with both Bruce Smith and Alonzo Mourning. Probert is punching Ross Verba in the head, with some effect as the Blackhawk's tough guy backs the Packer offensive lineman into a corner, reigning blows left and right.)
GERTNER: Probert is going to town on Verba, KICK HIS ASS!
STYLES: Look at Pronger! He and 'Zo are rolling about in the middle of the ring, slugging it out! These guys are definitely NWO material as we watch this war open up in front of us! OH MY GOD! Rocker may be out!
(Rocker is hanging on the top rope for dear life as now six try to remove him. However, Karelin takes the opportunity to walk over. Moments later, Grant and Hunter are on the floor, both single-handedly eliminated by the giant Russian. As Tyson and Rodman turn their attention to Karelin, the Braves' closer lands on the apron, and rolls under the ropes back into the ring. However, he's greeted by "The Freak", who drives a knee right into Rocker's midsection!)
GERTNER: DAMN! Rocker won't be using those puppies for a while!
STYLES: Jevon Kearse takes him to task, and I am just in awe at the ease of which the Russian Greco-Roman star Alexander Karelin is handling himself in the ring! He hasn't lost an international wrestling match in nearly 15 years!
GERTNER: Screw the damn Commies! I hope someone just puts him down like that Russian sub!
STYLES: I've heard enough! That's not right to make fun of such a tragedy as what happened to the submarine!
GERTNER: Yeah, all that vodka going to waste!
STYLES: WOULD YOU STOP!
(Pronger and Probert are double-teaming Verba, pummeling him with blows as the big man tries to hang on for dear life! 'Zo and Karelin now battling it out, as Mourning is slapping Karelin in the chest with his longer arms. Jadidi is putting a leg scissors on Rocker's head, and Rocker is screaming as the painful hold cuts off the circulation to his head. Matt Williams is battling Rodman, and looks to have the upper-hand until he goes for the roundhouse. Rodman ducks, and dumps the Diamondbacks slugger out. Over at the other end, Lennox Lewis and Mike Tyson start slugging each other, grabbing, clawing, Tyson even biting the heavyweight champ.)
GERTNER: Tyson wants to eat his children, or eat him so he can't have any!
STYLES: This isn't wrestling, it's a street fight!
GERTNER: This reminds me of two strippers going for the money man over at the Camelot Club!
STYLES: You know, Joel, I have to wonder just how much of your so-called sex life is true, or made up!
GERTNER: As true as Bill Clinton didn't inhale!
STYLES: The prosecution rests!
GERTNER: PROSTITUTES? Why didn't you share!
(Styles says nothing, he just drops his head on the table and shakes it. In the ring, the action is hot and heavy. Within a matter of a minute, three more wrestlers have bitten the dust. Karros is gone, unceremoniously dumped by Mourning. Verba has withstood the brutal beating by Probert and Pronger, and he has been eliminated, but not before he grabs Pronger by the neck and pulls him over. Probert helps the matter along, shoving Pronger over to speed up the process.)
STYLES: There are no loyalties in this battle royal, it's every man for himself as Bob Probert proved just now!
GERTNER: Bob Probert is one of hockey's toughest, I think he'll be on top at the end!
STYLES: I still like Karelin, he's just so comfortable in that ring! And there goes another one by Alexander! Karelin just lifted Lennox Lewis up and over! And Tyson just punched Karelin! AND HE'S PISSED!
(Karelin turns and stares at Tyson, who gets a rare look of fear in his face. The Russian grabs Tyson by the throat, hoists him up by one hand, and heads to the ropes.)
GERTNER: COME ON, MIKE! BITE HIM! EAT HIS CHILDREN! KILL! NOOOOO!
STYLES: RIGHT ON TOP OF LEWIS! And they're fighting on the floor! Security is going to have to break Tyson and Lewis up!
GERTNER: What passion, what love they're showing each other!
STYLES: Only in the NWO, Joel! Well, we're down to 8 combatants, and...
GERTNER: Make it 7, Styles! Out went Mourning! 'Zo was being grabbed by both Probert and Rodman, and Probert finished the job as Mourning is finished!
STYLES: And now Rocker and Rodman are now teaming up to try to take out Probert! The hatred Rocker feels is not enough he'll actually put his differences aside and work with Rodman.
GERTNER: You see, Joey-babe, Rocker's money will go to the Ku...
STYLES: SHUT UP!
(Gertner gives him a dirty look. In the ring again, Probert fights both Rodman and Rocker off. Karelin and Kearse have their arms wrapped around each other, squirming and fighting for position. Meanwhile, Jadidi has Bruce Smith on the mat, he's got a half-nelson on the Redskins defensive lineman and is putting the pressure on the neck and shoulder. The fans start up with a chant of "GO BRUCE GO! GO BRUCE GO!")
GERTNER: How cute, they're trying to cheer on Smith! He can't hear the cheers, idiots, the Iranian has his arm over his ear!
STYLES: Jadidi is an expert in positioning, look at how he has Smith down on the mat!
GERTNER: Well, Joey, speaking of positioning, Tammy over at Delilah's said...
STYLES: NO ONE CARES! Joel, you have to stop this fixation for sex!
GERTNER: I applied for my own intern, Chuck needs to get back to me!
STYLES: I'd like to get back to this match! May we?
GERTNER: Suit yourself, because while you were shooting off your mouth, out goes Probert and Rodman! Rocker dumped Rodman no sooner than they got rid of Probert!
STYLES: Well, if someone hadn't been running his mouth...
GERTNER: Shut your mouth, Styles! I'm trying to call this match!
I'm...never mind! You wear me out!
(Rocker is now being double-teamed by Karelin and Kearse, both men choking Rocker in an effort to dump him over the top. Meanwhile, Bruce Smith has regained his footing, and is carrying Jadidi on his back. He heads over to the ropes, and attempts to dump the Iranian onto the floor. Instead, Jadidi hangs onto the ropes and Smith does a flip and onto the concrete! We are down to four!)
STYLES: This is getting more exciting every moment! Jadidi now hammers Jevon Kearse in the back of the head! Karelin now has Rocker and Irish-whips him into the turnbuckle! Now Karelin blasts Rocker with his powerful forearms and down goes Rocker!
GERTNER: We've got "The Freak" against "The Sheik" on the other side, Jevon Kearse battling Abbas Ali Jadidi! And Kearse is exchanging blows with the Iranian wrestler! He's actually taking the upper hand to Jadidi!
STYLES: Karelin has pressed Rocker over his head! He's heading for the ropes, and...NO! That dirty bastard Rocker just raked at Karelin's eyes! DAMN IT!
GERTNER: Well, that Russian jackass has had it too good too long! Come on, Johnny, he's my pick!
STYLES: I'm sure you said that at the strip joints, didn't you!
(Kearse has finally gotten Jadidi to the ropes, and he slowly tries to push him over the top. The Iranian is hanging for dear life, but it's to no avail finally, as the Titans defensive stalwart eliminates Jadidi. Without hesitation, he runs over to the other end of the ring and nails Rocker in the head with a clothesline, which has Rocker going into the ropes! Now, all three remaining are trying to eliminate each other, as all three now are about to go over!)
STYLES: Who's going to be the first to hit the floor? All three athletes are hanging perilously close to elimination!
GERTNER: What if they all hit the floor at the same time? Then what? It may happen!
STYLES: Well, they're all hanging onto the ropes! Who's going first! It's...it's...no...it's...
(Karelin and Rocker both hit the floor, Kearse hangs on for a split second later, then hits the concrete to help Karelin double-team on Rocker!)
REESE: Your winner, ladies and gentlemen, "The Freak", JEVON KEARSE!
(Fans explode as Karelin and Kearse complete the beating of Rocker. Moments later, Karelin shakes Kearse's hand as Jevon re-enters the ring, where Trish and Chuck are waiting with the check for $50 thousand. Kearse is handed the mic as he asks for it.)
KEARSE: Chuck, thanks for the opportunity to perform here tonight, and I thank the crowd here, even if they are Redskins fans!
(Some boos, but Kearse chuckles)
But, I want to do this, Chuck! I'm taking 25 thousand dollars, and donating it to fight cancer! For Alexander Karelin, I will make a donation in his name to the families of the sub victims in Russia! He is one hell of a warrior, and if you ever have a second career, man, the NFL needs you!
(Fans go crazy as Karelin enters the ring, and the two hug each other. The fans are on their feet as Karelin and Kearse join hands and stand together.)
STYLES: What a display of sportsmanship tonight by "The Freak!" Jevon Kearse is one fine human being.
GERTNER: WHAT A WASTE! All this nicey-nicey makes me sick! Let's go to a commercial!
NWO United Stated Title Match
Maxx Payne (Champion) VS Bob Holly[As Lilian Garcia introduces Maxx Payne for the second time in the night, “Bad Blood” by The Ministry begins to play through the sound system. After an excruciating match with The Rock, it is unlikely that he is at the best health. Regardless, though, CEO Chuck Reese insists that each of the card’s matches occur, since he refuses to deny the fans of what he has promised. Maxx Payne’s music plays for a while, yet the United States Champion doesn’t show up. The fans, who began booing the moment they heard Maxx Payne’s music play, are confused, and turn their attention towards the NWO-tron.
Suddenly, the lights shut off, as well as Maxx Payne’s music. A discomforting pause causes a commotion within the crowd, which grows larger every second. Suddenly, a bell tolls loudly, causing most of the fans in the arena to jump to their feet in surprise. While the bell continues its tolling, the eye of Maxx Payne shows up on the screen, staring into the crowd intensely. The crowd watches the eye until a figure above the ring takes form. Being lowered by a cable, Maxx Payne is in a strong stance with his arms extended. With the United States Championship locked around his waist, Maxx Payne appears to be one hundred percent ready for his match-up against Bob Holly.
Soon, the bell tolls stop, and the lighting in the arena returns to normal. Maxx Payne is immediately given a microphone, and begins to speak on his next match against Bob Holly.]
Maxx Payne: “Holly, before you come out here for me to make an example of you, let me take this time to remind you why. During my already-successful tenure in the Net World Order, I have seen people come and go. Some people have what it takes to become a successful fighter in the Net World Order, and some people haven’t. Though people were sketchy about me at first, I have convinced people through my actions that I am what I say I am, and can do what I want to do.
During my stay in this company, there have been rather unworthy contenders for the United States Championship. Thus far, I have kept my silence about it, allowing people such as The Superstar, Sean Ransom, and even Stevie D to feebly attempt their way into the championship scene. After a short tenure, they depart the Net World Order, and are never heard from again. Bob Holly, of all of the men that I have seen compete for this United States Championship that I hold today, you have them beat. Holly, you are nothing more than a miserable, weak, feather-weighted, aspirant who thinks that he can take the gold from me. Let me inform you, Holly, regardless of my battle with The Rock a few minutes ago, I am in perfect condition to continue on just to humiliate you before this Washington DC crowd.”
[Due to the fact that Bob Holly is the fan favorite in this match, the fans begin to boo at these words from Maxx Payne. Ignoring the jeers from the crowd, Maxx goes on with his tirade against Holly.]
Maxx Payne: “In Bob Holly’s corner, he aligns himself with Crash Holly, his cousin, and Stevie D, their friend. Well, let me start off by saying that Crash Holly has managed to do nothing to rub off his success onto his cousin. Let’s face it, the little guy has quite possibly had the most luck of any man in this company. Look at his track record, filled with an assortment of Hardcore Title reigns, as well as a few World Title shots, Crash Holly has been the more fortunate of the two Holly cousins thus far. No matter how hard Bob Holly tries, his competence inside the ring coincides with his success. Frankly, has neither. Bob Holly, you will forever be in the shadow of your little cousin, and this failed attempt at the United States Championship will not help you whatsoever to step out of it.
Then, we move on to Bob Holly’s friend, Stevie D. Stevie D suddenly enters the Net World Order, without anybody knowing who he is. Stevie automatically received a United States Title shot last month at Hawaii Beach Havoc, only to be shaken up in the ring by Maxx Payne. Holly, if you think that the high flying capabilities of Stevie D will be able to save your career, much less than your life when you enter the ring with me, then you are dead wrong. You see, Holly, no new move in the world will be able to save you from the punishment that you are about to endure.”
[The fans wholeheartedly disagree with the Ass Kickers Incorporated member, and let him know it by filling the entire MCI Center with millions of catcalls. Maxx Payne continues on, despite the distraction of the fans.]
Maxx Payne: “Holly, I have crushed dreams many times before, and I will do it many times in the future. Azrael, The Rock, Bret Hart, The Superstar, these are merely a few men who have felt my wrath. All of these men were once proud champions, yet now they are massive heaps of nothingness. Now that they have entered the ring with me, their lives are meaningless. Soon, your name will be added to the long list of victims as you will soon feel the pain.”
[Delivering these threatening words, Maxx Payne drops the microphone out of the ring, and unhooks the United States Championship belt from around his waist. Maxx Payne lays the belt on the ground in a border fashion, in a way daring Bob Holly to come to the ring and cross it. Maxx Payne suddenly picks the microphone up for a few added comments, and steps over the championship belt.]
Maxx Payne: “Holly, if you want this United States Title so badly, then prove it to me. I’ve had enough of the talk, and actions always speak louder than words. If you want the United States Title, than come down and get it. You’ll just have to go through me first.” Lilian Garcia - Ladies and gentlemen. Our next match tonight will be for the Net World Order United States Championship. Introducing, the challenger... he is from Mobile, Alabama. He weighs elegintly WELL over 400 pounds, he is BOB HOLLY!
[The fans begin to boo as Bob Holly's music begins to play. Holly walks out backwards with his hands held high int he air. He turns around and smiles.Holly slides into the ring and holds his hands high in the air.]
[Holly, who is impatient,and attacks Payne. Payne falls down hard. Holly kicks him a few hims in the gut. (Payne's stomach is bandaged up) Payne holds his mid-section as Holly picks him up. Holly drags him to the ring and rolls him in.]
Joey Styles - Payne is in no condition to wrestle!
[Holly re-enters the ring and the bell sounds. Holly picks Payne up and picks him up into a vertical suplex. Holly holds him there, and then drops Payne hard on his back Holly then goes for the pin. The referee gets in position and counts. 1, 2 ayne just gets his shoulder up]
Joel Gertner - That was TOO CLOSE for comfort! Holly easily has this match won!
[Holly picks Payne back up and sets him up for a power-bomb. Holly lifts him up and hits a Sitting powerbomb pin.]
Joel Gertner - Holly is taking it right to Payne!
[The referee counts, 1, 2, Payne just kicks out]
Joey Styles - If he would have hooked the leg, the match would have been over!
[Holly stand up and gets in the referee's face. This allows Payne to get a little rest. payne then attempts to stand. Holly turns and goes to grab Payne but Maxx grabs Holly and throws him through the ropes. Holly falls to the mat, hitting hit right knee. He holds it in pain while MAXX PAYNE lies in the ring, resting]
Joel Gertner - Joey, that was the smartest thing Maxx could have done!
[The referee counts. One, two, three. Holly begins to stand up, but still holds his knee. Four. Maxx Payne, hloding his mid-section, uses the ropes and starts to stand. Five, Holly is up and rolls into the ring. The referee tops counting. Payne and Holly both stand they lock up. Payne sends Holly into the ropes but Holly falls. (do to his leg) Payne staggers over and grabs his legsand applies a figure fourt leglock!]
Joel Gertner - Holy shit! That will tear Holly's knee apart!
[Holly begins to scream in pain. The referee check for a tap out but Holly denies. Holly, in terible pain, reaches out for the ropes but is short. The referee, concentrating on Holly, doesn't see Crash Holly run down the aisle.]
Joey Styles - What is that guy doing out here!
[Crash gets near the ring, reaches in and hits Maxx Payne, causing him to break the hold. Crash then takes off throught he crowd.]
Joey Styles - What a cheat!
[The referee, confused, continues the match. Both men lie ont he mat and he starts the 10 count. At the count of 8, both men stagger to their feet. Bob Holly kicks Maxx Payne in the mid section and sends him to the ropes. Payne gets caught attempting a cross body. Holly has Payne in his arms.... HOLLYCAUST! He hit a modified version! The Ref slides in to make the count. 1.........2........ Payne puts his foot on the ropes! The men were too close! A disgusted Bob Holly picks Payne back to his feet. Holly directs him to the center of the ring, Bob Holly sets up to go for another Hollycaust. Payne blocks the move with his leg! PAYNE KILLER! It came from no-where! Maxx Payne falls on top of Bob Holly and the ref slides into position. Out from the crowd runs Crash Holly again! Can he save his cousin?? 1.........2.........3! Crash enters the ring and begins to put the boots to Maxx Payne. NWO officlas rush the ring and break the Holly's off of Maxx Payne.]
Lilian Garcia: The winner of this match... AND STILL.... NWO United States Champion.. Maxx Payne!
DOUGLAS VS STYLEZ III
~Kiss My Ass Match~
(Loser Must Kiss Winnner's Bare Ass)
Shane Douglas VS Neil StylezLilian Garcia: This match is scheduled for one fall and is a "Kiss My Ass" Match! The loser must kiss the winner's BARE ASS! Introducing first, from Pittsburgh, PA.. Accompained by Francine.. Shane Douglas!
["Perfect Strangers" by Deep Purple blares over the PA as Douglas and Francine Make their way out.]
Lilian Garcia: And his opponet, also from Pittsburgh, PA! Accompanied by Terri Runnels.. Neil Stylez!
[Styles wastes no time as he dashes to the ring. The bell sounds as the two men meet in the center of the ring. They stare right through one another, you can feel the intensity of the moment. Stylez tackles Douglas and begins to let out an assult of right and left hands! Douglas rolls on top of Stylez and begins letting out his own array of punches! The ref tries to break then two men up, as he just gets tossed aside by both men.]
Joey Styles: This will be a brawl, no real wrestling moves here!
Joel Gertner: This is Neil's kind of match, considering he knows no wrestling moves anyway!
[The action continues as the referee gets disgusted and leaves the ring! We got ourselves a HARDCORE battle! Francine reaches under the ring and tosses in a kendo-stick! Douglas unleashes the kendo stick on Stylez head, taking a good 5 shots before Neil finally falls down. Douglas covers Stylez, but there is no ref to make the count! Douglas is infuriated in the ring. Not Knowing what to do, Douglas drags Stylez into the corner. Douglas turns and begins to drop his tights......]
Joey Styles: WHAT THE HELL IS SHANE DOUGLAS DOING!?!?!
Joel Gertner: Since the referee left, I guess you gotta make your opponet kiss you ass for the win!
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!!! That is the harriest ass I have ever seen!
[The fans are laughing their heads off at Douglas, whose ass is fully exposed. Douglas takes a mear second to trash talk a few of the fans in the front row as Styles rolls out of the ring, out of harms way! Douglas pulls his tights back up and exits the ring himself. Stylez is on a single knee as Douglas approaches him.. LOW BLOW! Douglas falls to the mat, screaming in pain. Stylez gets some momentum and takes a steel chair from ringside.... WHAM! Stylez begins beating Douglas into the concrete! Douglas is laid out! Francine begins sneaking up on Stylez, but is quickly stopped by Terri! The two women begin to go at it!]
Joel Gertner: CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!
[Stylez rolls Douglas back into the ring and drags him to teh corner. Stylez walks to the middle of the ring and begins to un-do his tights, getting a pop from the ladies in the crowd. Stylez pulls down his tights to reveal his ass. Stylez points to the face of Shane Douglas as the fans go nuts! From the crowd, Jeff Jarrett appears as he hops over the barracade and into the ring with a guitar in hand! Stylez has his back turned as he approches Douglas to make him kiss his ass..... WHAM! Jarrett lays out Stylez with the guitar shot! Stylez is out cold, lying on the mat with his ass still hanging out! Jarrett goes into the corner, trying to revive Shane Douglas. CEO Chuck Reese dashes from the back with a trash can lid! Reese slides into the ring and lays out Jarrett with the trash can lid! Jarrett, Douglas and Stylez are all out! Reese approaches Stylez and begins to slap him on the face, trying to get him to snap out of it. Douglas staggers to his feet and grabs Reese from behind.. BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX ON REESE! The NWO CEO is out cold! Jarrett makes it back to his feet as Jarrett also gets up. Jarrett holds the unconscience Neil Stylez on the mat as Douglas pulls down his tights again.... ITS OVER! Douglas has his ass in Neil's face!]
Lilian Garcia: The winner of this match.... Shane Douglas!
[Douglas and Jarrett begin to beat away on Reese and Stylez. NWO security comes to the ring and breaks everything up. Douglas and Jarrett exit the ring and flash teh Triple Threat sign for old time's sake as security attends to Reese and Stylez.]Joey Styles: DAMN JEFF JARRETT!
Joel Gertner: What do you mean damn Jeff Jarrett? He proved once again that he will do ANYTHING to get back into the NWO!
Joey Styles: Fans, we gotta cut to a commercial!
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