It is that time again…The Angry Black Man goes on yet an another rant about things that probably shouldn’t be discussed. But before we get into that since my webmaster was apparently too busy spanking it to his picture of Steve Corino in a towel. (If you know my circle you know who and what I am talking about.) Well somewhere on the front page it should say that if you go to www.ZTUnderground.com it will send you here. Well just in case you don’t know now you know…bitach! But, I can’t be too pissy with him he does the site for free, and he get me a booking somewhere…even if my site is the redheaded stepchild in the food chain.

Head Start & Lemons -

All right now I am writing this stuff days before the first PWC show in Crooksville, Ohio (Blame the webmaster for not updating! I sent him the info!). I got the match assignment, and I can’t say I am crazy about it. But, hey Ill be doing something that no one in the IWA will be doing at the next show. Getting paid to bump so it’s all good in the hood, and gravy in the navy baby (It’s just like my boy The King Randy Allen told me. I’ve done too many free shows; it’s all about the money now. Pin me, pay me just like the JOB Squad.). You know maybe I am too bitter about my tenure in the IWA. But, whenever I look back at how miserable I was (Its a double whammy when you go with down memory lane with an another former IWA worker! I think Trevor is the only one who won’t flat out and say he hated it. At least in a public forum like this.) And how much shit we got piled on us from Bull…I can’t help but think: “Why in the fuck did I stay there that long?” or “What the fuck was I thinking?” Serious. I am thinking it’s a combination of things. 1- The talent and potential was there for us to be something special. 2- Minus a few people that no one really liked or cared about we were all like a big family. And we all took care of each other in and out of the ring. And that is probably the biggest thing that kept me there. I was talking to Hustler (One of the people that left the IWA for FIW.) the other day about that whole thing. And he put it best: “Where I was, was better than where I had been.” I just nodded and agreed. Then I said “DTA! Don’t Trust Anybody!” flipped him the double salute and laid his punkass out with a Stunner that Austin would have marked out for! Then I hovered over his half conscious body talking trash to him about it. Then my intro music played I raised my hands and walked to the back…ok that last part didn’t happen. That was a little over the top. No sell it. But everything else is true.

RANDOM THOUGHTS: How is it that Chris Jericho can beat or go toe to toe with almost all the current WWE guys…but, yet he can’t seem to beat Shawn Michaels who is one bad bump from being crippled, and weighs about 50 pounds less than Jericho? This show for PWC will be pretty big. Lots of new people showing up and I think someone is worried on the eastside of Columbus.

How Do You Know Your Promotion is Dead in the Water part 2

Speaking of new people (What a lead in!) My last rant had listed on there about how some jackass Indy promoter (You know who I am talking about.) is telling “his” people who they can and can’t work for but, isn’t giving them even a thank you for busting your ass much less 5 bucks for gas. He is taking away potential paydays but, yet this guy isn’t damn near being a huge regional promotion (Where his company should be at the very least.) and claims he has some big plans. I hear he is also claiming he now & has had for a long time had big corporate sponsors. Why would you wait until pretty much the bulk of you talent has left and then followed by a huge wave talent leaving again would you unveil that you have all these sponsors. I guess you got to let the few people left has something to work for…considering your going to make yourself and your “stable” the main angle even though collectively between you the talent level of said stable is subpar at best. Its too bad that people left with talent like Elliot Michaels, Homicide, Hunter Matthews, Super Hugo, Freakboy, and the improving Devlin Anderson will be used to make the shit guys look good. Or at least try. Oww, that was stiff. Boy I am bitter! Lemon face! Lion face! Lemon face! I hear “Eddie Affles” AKA Bull Miller (Yeah you didn’t know that after listening to the hotline.) thinks he has been screwed because talent keeps leaving him and can’t seem to understand why. Gee, I don’t know why people want to stick around an old worthless piece of crap whom refuses to even say thanks to people for risking their lives for him. Or a guy who on a consistent basis tells his people they are crap and its their fault that nothing ever gets better. Because he is doing something apparently very big…Lord knows what it is. Like I said it is big he has been working on it for damn near 15 years and has yet to finish it. Tool.

I am hoping that 2003 is going to be the biggest and best year as far as accomplishments, and where I work. So far I think I have done a good job of that. I have some tentative plans to work in a promotion in Michigan. I’ve had talks with one of the higher ups there. I am also in contact with a couple of people to work in one of the bigger promotions. Hopefully that will all work itself out for the best. I also have an another big match with America’s Most Wanted just over a month away. 2 out of 3 falls. Unless something changes from now and then that will definite be a solid match for the collection...and for other promoters to see! I am working on stuff to venture further out east. I wouldn’t mind going west where its warmer either. I would love to eventually when it is time to hang up the boots for the last time that I will have worked at least ONE match in the Promise Land AKA Japan. I seen a saying on the EWR message boards that pretty much sums it up (And more on the EWR boards later.) “In Canada it is Tradition. In Mexico it is a Privilege. In Japan it is an Honor. In North America it is a joke.” Which unfortunately is very true. I’ve been told in Japan that you hit somebody or something like that they go nuts and say “Thank you!” It is a big deal to get hit by a wrestler. Here it is only a big deal cause somebody is looking to have a quick and easy way to get paid via a lawsuit.

My Debut in Crooksville

Well I am a few days removed from the PWC first ever show in Crooksville, Ohio. The former hotbed for FIW. No longer its PWC land now. The show started off with some rant or feud thing with the 2 announcers…then the show really began when myself and my ever early manager Brady West (That’s a joke he was late as shit. He got there like 15 mins before bell time.) went to the ring and talked about how much ass we kicked at the last PWC show. We touched on how Al B. Damm and myself were suppose to face Coyote & Jeff Cannon in a tag match (Collectively known as Hang & Bang…whatever that means. My team with Chill is called Zero Tolerance cause we take no crap etc. I am not sure what exactly Hanging and Banging consist of. But, if anyone else knows please email me. I want to know too.) but since Al B. was under the weather (Read: Since ABD had to defend his Cruiserweight title in NEPW that same night which was already booked.) that I was going to take the night off. Being a heel this tactic never works. I should know this by now. Commissioner White comes out and pisses on our parade, and decides to tell us that I will wrestle in a tag match tonight, and if I don’t find a tag partner then Brady will become my tag partner. Brady goes on a rant about how he has a “No Bump” clause in his contract (I think Triple H has one too.). We sell it, & the crowd is going crazy.

Later in the night Hustler got beat up by a toothless ex-convict Shank Dorsey. After he was dumped from the ring I ran in gave him my patent pending double arm, inverted Greco-Roman Cock Punch, and called him the biggest piece of crap this side of Bull Miller and walked off. Ok no I didn’t. But I thought an awful lot about doing it though.

Hang & Bang (Still no emails explaining this term.) came out first cause tradition sucks, (But in this case I suppose its understandable.) then Brady and I came out. Brady came out with a horrible tape job on his hands (All night long he bugged me about taping him up so he could look like me. He didn’t nor did I tape him up.)Wearing a Crooksville hoodie. He rips it off and lets the bird fly as he tells everyone how he found a partner for me…Brady tosses all logic, and any regards to his previous angles (What the hell? Ok who let the WWE booking team book this show? Hey wait a minute. Is that Bull Miller?) To the wind and announces Mr. Ninja as my tag partner. Which is pretty phucking stupid considering that Brady fired him at the 1st show I watched, and then on top of that the last time he was around he turned out to be Dave Stilleto (Who was my very first opponent.) who decided he wanted to basically kill Brady. I had to toss him off the stage, through a table last time he showed up. But, yet in still Brady employs his services again. (No this makes perfect sense, why do you ask? Pass the Nyquil and Vodka shots!) I protest it. During the match I refuse to tag in the mysterious jackass who keeps calling me Kass-San.

So I am taking heat to Hang and his partner Bang. But, the whole numbers game catches me, and they start to start beating my ass. In what could have been me fulfilling a reoccurring dream/thought I had about this match. I don’t know ever since I got the match assignment I kept getting images in my head of me hurting myself. More so I kept getting images of people slapping a neck brace on me and sliding me on an orange board under the bottom rope. People who know me probably know why I got these “visions”. I just would rather not get into it on here. But, I went ahead with the match anyway. There was a spot where I was supposed to take a double back suplex. Well, I took it. And barely avoiding (Yup you guessed it.) being dumped on my head and breaking my damn neck. I think I got higher than I should have been in the air, and I knew before the backward motion of the move began that I was fucked. Mr. Ninja started to speak English for a brief second, and screamed “Oh shit”. I somehow managed to land sideways, and folded myself up a bit towards my left side. It hurt slightly more than a Cyrus Poe forearm. Just slightly. It also took all the air out of me. The show must go on. A few minutes later Cannon (I guess Bang.) and I were going at it. He ducked a clothesline and then a we both hit one, and we were down. I crawled over to tag Mr. Ninja for some stupid reason (Where is Ninja Chill when you need him?). Instead I get hot shotted by him, and he takes off his mask and reveals none other than my old IWA tag partner from the New Breed, and yet an another IWA World Champion (That’s what happens if you were in The Breed. You became IWA World Champion! 3 for 3!) Marcus Dillon is standing there. I sell it, and turn right into a double gore. And for the 2nd time this year I was placed over someone’s knee as their tag partner dropped a leg drop across me for the 3. Dillon dropped Brady at some point in time during all of this. I throw my temper tantrum and head to the back. But, not before I call a few people in the crowd dickholes (That was for you Vandal, er Hunter!) Funny fact about the show: I was DDK v2.0 for this show. I wore my gold back up parachute pants that Fat Nick is always sweating and wore my tape boxer style and up to my elbow pads just because I had a lot of tape in my bag. DDK Fact: DDK loves to kick Hustler in the applebag.

And from The What The File-

One night I was randomly checking my spam mail AKA my yahoo account that I’ve had since I started journeying around cyber space. I don’t even read half the emails that go to that account. That account must get about 100 emails a day at least. About 98% if that is crap that I am never gonna read. Like how I can increase my bust size, or how there is a free grant for me somewhere. Or my favorite how some hot bisexual woman and her girlfriends want me to pay to log into some website that will have massive pop ups and Ill never actually see anything worthwhile…not that I’ve ever done that. Just what Bruce tells me. He has a porn addiction problem along with being colorblind. And you thought your life was bad.

Any hoot one of the sender names look like it could be legit. The title was “Please read this from a UK mom”. All I could think was that this was new porn spam I’ve never seen before. So I opened it expecting to see some naked woman or women begging for me to pay up to see them in uncensored action. Instead I got this:

Dear Damien,

my son aged 16 has been using your name to email threats to people to the extent that the police have been looking for a Damien Kass here! I have found your website and put 2 and 2 together. He is a bit damaged and I fear for him.. please can you contact me and I can decide how to deal with this.

thanks.

Angela F.

It was a legit email, as I have seen enough of them to know one when I see it. The woman never replied to my response so I don’t know what the dealio is. I don’t know if the kid stopped the horseshit or not. But kid if you are reading this message is for you.

Knock the shit off ya limey! Trust me when I say this (And I have enough people to back me on this.) I don't need someone else giving me a bad rep somewhere. I can do that just fine on my own. Bloody hell.

I am still trying to decipher some of the stuff but, I think she is saying her son is mentally retarded. But, I could be wrong. I don’t speak British English. Which granted is still English, but if you say bum to me the first thing I am gonna think is some dirty homeless guy asleep in some alley. You say bum to them they think someone’s ass. Its all weird and shit there, it is like Bull Miller logic there! Damn I am on a roll. Man that’s gotta be like the 37th dig on him. I can’t be stopped! I got a million of ‘em! You’re a beautiful audience, Ill be here all week…and make sure you tip your waitress.

The Happy Black Man resides in Titusville, PA.

It’s been a few weeks in the making but, I have finally been confirmed for a starting date with MadMar Entertainment. Actually two. I was originally booked for their show in April, which is suppose to be a pretty big show I believe. I am not really sure as I don’t really know all the storylines going on and what has got them there. I know Gangrel will be there that date. And there are like 2 Goth like characters running around in the promotion so I am assuming it is a big deal. Anyhow, I had planned on going up there to the show on the 8th with Bruce and a few others just to check out the show, talk to the promoters about where I would fit into, (MONEY RANDY!) and such. I talked to Tim Chizmar (The Mar in Madmar.) literally the other day and he asked if I still was going to be attending the show (I wasn’t officially booked yet so I would be attending AKA watching.). I told not only was I attending the show I was going to be following the no. 1 rule in Indy wrestling. “Always bring your gear.” Tim at that point offered me a spot in the battle royal that they were going to have. The winner of the battle royal faces the World Champion who is none other than Fabulous Frederick of Simply Fabulous fame.

I have a history of battle royals. I suck in them. I have won World Titles, a tag title run with a woman, the most successful IWA United States champion. I have even gone through the James Buck era of the IWA and not jobbed to that fucker one time unlike everyone else. Hardcore matches barbwire matches. I have even lived through Bull Miller’s piss poor excuse for booking (Damn I am good! I told you I had a million of them.) But damn I can’t win a battle royal. Not a one. Tim told me he wants me to make an impact, no pressure at all. None.

Actually I just got word on what my debut fully involves. Its is going to be something. I am amazed by it. Honored actually. This will be my first show up there, and it will be memorable for everyone. I am excited to be working there as I have heard the crowd is massive. We are talking upwards on 400-700 people I’ve been told. This will be the biggest crowd that I have ever worked in front of. And I have to impress a lot of people with what I have been asked to do. I can do it. I am sure Ill be pretty nervous but, Ill work it out. I don’t want to spill the beans. So in the next update expect to hear all about it. And notice the heading…I might have to do the unthinkable. Be a face…

Well this update is pretty short but with a full slate ahead the next few updates will probably be short. But, then again I have longer road trips coming up. That is where the best stories take place! Ill be back as soon as I can.