The Week In Review For August 2, 2002 by Bob Barron
Hey folks, how we doing today. I’m Bob Barron and let’s hop into the wayback machine and look at the week that was this week that was.
SUNDAY- On Sunday is when the RAW brand presents their #2 show known as Heat. What happened?
Steven Richards b Matt Hardy
I always liked Matt better then Jeff mainly because he didn’t defeat William Regal twice with two fast counts by two biased WCW referees angered by Regal’s comments on the final Nitro. Matt took the better bump as TLC1 and he got Lita so I gotta tip my cap to the boy. Now in 2000-01 jobbing to Steven would be like you were Funaki or something. But after getting his ass kicked by Flair, apparently Vince sees something in Richards and is gonna give him a bit of a push. I say go for it- he’d be real cool in the midcard and hopefully they can make fans for the RTC.
Raven b Crash
What is this like the battle to be named greatest Hardcore champ ever? I mean why does Crash still have a job? Seriously. They cut all these youngsters, close down a frickin’ territory and yet Crash Holly is still employed. I mean he was cool in 2000 but then again so were Triple H and Rikishi. K-Kwik was released last year. You think Vince would rather have Crash or K-Kwik today? Think about it.
Goldust b Justin Credible
GOLDUST!!!!!!!!!!!! I am a huge Dustin Rhodes mark and I think it’s off the page awesome that he is getting a push. Making him a Heat guy is a good thing cause he can rack up some wins and be made to look really good. Next week is my Heat dream match with Goldust v. Regal. You all should watch. I bet Paul feels stupider about giving Justin the ECW belt every day. Keep up the Goldust push.
Bradshaw b Johnny the Bull Stamboli to retain the HC Title
Boooooooooooo. I was a big Mamalukes fan back in 2000 and I felt bad for Johnny the Bull and all his bad luck. But why not give him the fucking belt? With the 24-7 rule a heel is much better for the title since all the faces can try to chase him and win it and the heel can use every trick to avoid them. It works cause they’ll get some heat and may possibly not make the HC Title look a big friggin joke
MONDAY- RAW was Monday and everyone wanted to know who was in the limo. I like to analyse matches not backstage stuff so here’s stuff that happened that didn’t involve some good ole scufflin-
Anti-Americans jumped to RAW HBK pissed off people and got his ass kicked HHH said the ‘f’ word Y2J beat up Flair Taker confronted Eazy E Island Boys beat up Betty White and Estelle Getty Rock talked about Coach fucking a cow
Now who won and who lost-
Booker T b Eddy!~ Guerrero
This wasn’t as great as I hoped but it was cool seeing a highly competitive get a little bit of time on RAW. Of course who cares about this match cause of what happened on SD!
Trish Stratus and Bubba Ray Dudley b Molly and Big Show
Poor Regal- He was too busy training for his Sunday Night Heat match v. (inhale) Goldust. It was cool seeing them bust out the Doomsday Device and I’m always a sucker for male on female violence. J Match was pretty good.
Jeff Hardy b Bradshaw for the HC Title Johnny the Bull b Hardy for the HC Title Tommy Dreamer b Johnny for the HC Title
It’s the HC Title- I stopped caring a looooooong time ago. Hopefully Dreamer can do something with it.
Chris Benoit b RVD to become I-C Champ for the fourth time
This match was the shiznit or whatever kids on the street say these days. You should watch Heat this week- (inhale) Goldust meets Regal. Benoit and RVD was as good as we hoped meaning it was totally awesome. The missed ***** was awesome and the whole match flowed really well and it was good they got more than ten. Yay Benoit!
Undertaker b Chris Harvard
Squash. The Rock b “Nature Boy” Ric Flair
I thought it was dumb they gave this match away for free when it would’ve done a great buyrate. I personally would’ve gone with Rock/Flair v. Christian/Storm and save Rock v. Flair for later but whatever. This was a fun match, it didn’t set the world on fire but it was cool seeing Rock bail and stuff like that. I hope they realise that Flair is the man and don’t just make him jobber to the young guys. Seeing Rock v. Flair was pretty cool though and I’m glad we got to see it.
TUESDAY- WWE opened up a film division.
WEDNESDAY- Nothing happened except for NWATNA which I don’t get. THURSDAY-
Stuff didn’t happen in the ring- Brock was a dick to both Hogan and Angle B-n-C teased splitting up Cena and Rico got into a tizzy Steph yelled at Awesome, Holly and Kidman Bischoff liked Steph’s peaches, Stacy got yelled at and Radicalz jumped to SD! Nidia shoved her beautiful breasts at Cole
Rey Mysterio b Tajiri
Tajiri went from being job boy to the new heels to job boy to the new faces. How do you like that? This match was awesome and it got seven minutes which means I think Vince realises that the Cruiser division is a good thing. I still can’t get over how great this match was.
Brock b Mark Henry
Mark Henry is so awful.
“Hollywood” Hulk Hogan b Kurt Angle via DQ to earn the right to face Brock Lesnar
Hogan is just awful in the ring but I find his whole act entertaining and Angle is just God in the ring right now and his style just gels with Hogan really well. This wasn’t Steamboat-Flair or a mat wrestling masterpiece- it was just a fun match that got the crowd into it.
Rikishi b D-Von
It’s so weird seeing Rikishi now and remembering how awesome he was in 2000. Sigh. It’s funny. D-Von needs Bubba sooooo badly while Bubba is doing fine without D-Von. Let Batista go on his own and just- god- I don’t know what the hell to do with D-Von. Poor guy.
John Cena b Rico
Rico has the best wrestling attire ever. That’s really all to say about this one.
Radicalz b Rock and Edge
WELCOME BACK BENOIT!!! This match was fucking awesome. Radicalz have the dickish fuck you heel tag team down pat and just had the crowd eating out of their hand. Benoit cutting off the hot tag by sending Rock into railing almost had me stand up and scream to the heavens how great these guys were. Rocdk tapping to the Crossface was the right finish and once again it’s great to see someone like Rock be a team player and make people look good. I’m digging Brock v. Rock now cause now Rock is Mr. Vulnerable and is coming off a humiliating tap-out loss. But god damn- Benoit and Eddy RULE! SPOILER SPOILER WATCH OUT SPOILER DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T KNOW WANNA KNOW AHHHHHHHH SPOILER! HERE IT COMES
Velocity has- Kidman beating Funaki Molly beating Torrie Hardcore beating Albert Billy-n-Chucky beating Three Count Faarooq beating Mike Awesome
Well that was the week in wrestling. Good night and have a slamorific tomorrow.
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