THE LONG WAY HOME, PART 5

Sarah’s first sensation on connecting with Paul’s mind was how hot it seemed wherever she’d landed. She assumed Paul must be dreaming, and whatever sensations she was experiencing were being jointly shared. She opened her eyes and saw about her a desolate wilderness with great clouds of smoke blowing through the air. In the distance, bright orange tongues of fire were on the horizon and creeping closer to her location. ‘I would land in someone’s head who believes in a literal Hell,’ she muttered. There was nothing else to do, so she set off walking through the wilderness trying to find something useful to do. Why everyone was convinced she could save him when Spandrell, with his centuries of wisdom could not, she didn’t understand. She was walking--that was a strange sensation, as she was still unable to do so in the real world. Eventually, she stopped at a large rock to sit down and rest. As the fires grew closer, an image began to take shape out of the haze and smoke. She watched the image grow clearer and realized it was a memory working its way into her own consciousness. She saw herself in Paul’s arms and watched her eyes close. Then she watched herself be shot, and she felt violently ill. The tableaux changed again. This time, it was a parade scene and she recognized the woman sitting next to Paul as his late wife. One minute she was laughing, and the next, her face blew away in a shower of blood. Another picture appeared, and Sarah watched through a child’s eyes as a mother and father pleaded in vain for their lives before dying. Sarah was unable to watch any more. She turned away only to see Paul standing before her.

"I’m sorry, but that’s no future for you," he said as he drew her into his arms.

"That’s not the future," she said. "Neither of us know what will happen."

"Some people are just naturally dangerous to know," he said. "There has to be more to life than that," and he pointed back to the picture show that still went on behind her back.

"I chose to be here, Paul. I chose to put myself in trouble, and if I have to pay the price, it will be my choice, too. Jennifer would have said the same thing. She probably did, because she loved you."

"And my parents?"

"Cared enough about you to risk their own lives trying to save you. I’d do that. Sophie and Laura do that for you every day, and we all know that you’d do the same for us or we wouldn’t be here."

Paul’s eyes left the horror show and met her own. "Sarah, it isn’t fair to you or to anyone to share such a fate. No matter what you think, I’m the one with the ultimate responsibility and I have to do the right thing."

"You told me that I didn’t have enough faith to believe in miracles. I’m here because I do, Paul. You are a miracle, if you’d only let yourself believe it. Show a little of that faith you’re always preaching about."

A slight smile--only a hint of one, but Sarah saw it and she pressed forward. "If you can’t believe in something Big and Important, just believe in me for a little while."

"Kiss my bruised psyche and make me feel better?"

"I’m not that good! I can’t make you feel better, but I’ll be here to cry with you if that’s what it takes. We can’t change the past, Paul. You said so yourself. We can make a future, or we can lay down in the middle of this wilderness and let that stuff write it for us. I think we can do the story better."

"You don’t know that."

"Nor do you know that we can’t."

Paul turned away completely from the pictures and walked a short distance away. "How is Lynda?" he asked.

"You scared the daylights out of her. You didn’t say anything about respiratory bypass systems--when you stopped breathing, she freaked out."

"I have a talent for forgetting stuff like that. I’m going to have to make it up to her big time."

"Colin wants to put her on television."

"Does he now!" Paul laughed, and Sarah thought it the most beautiful sound in the world. "I shall have to explore that possibility some day."

"Are you going to live then, or are you going to stay here," she asked him.

"I don’t plan on spending the hereafter in this place, thank you. I think I like your company better." He paused and seemed distracted for a moment.

"Spandrell wants to know how we are. I think he’s a little worried." Paul said.

"A little!" Sarah exclaimed.

"Okay, a lot. Shall I tell him we’re coming out?"

Sarah walked around in a circle. I’m going to miss this, at least. I’ve been cooped up in bed too long." She looked at him, threw a little thought in his direction, and he blushed. "Well, why not? If we’re in Hell anyway----" she laughed.

Spandrell had the strangest expression on his face when he turned to face the concerned little group. "They will be back soon, but Sarah has to welcome him back from the dead first

The wonderful thing about dreamscapes, Sarah observed, was that changing them required only a little bit of mental energy. Hell had disappeared and been replaced with a sandy beach and a beautiful sunset. Paul’s subconscious had reconfigured things so that the two of them happened to be sharing a hammock strung between two palm trees.

"So," she said, "are we?"

"Are we what?" he asked mischeviously. "And in front of how many?"

"I don’t see anybody else here," she said.

Paul pointed up. "Well, you’ve got at least one mind-reader up there. I don’t know about you, but I’m not into exhibitionism."

"Damn," she said. "Why is it you always keep such timely company?" She kissed him passionately, and the hammock disappeared, dropping the two of them unceremoniously on the ground.

"The wonderful thing about dreamscapes is that changing them requires only a little bit of mental energy," Paul said. "I’ve heard that stated somewhere recently."

"Point being?" Sarah mumbled.

"You distracted me."

"I was hoping to. I just wish the result wasn’t so painful!"

"At least you heal quickly in dreams." Paul paused "We have to do something about this, Sarah. We’re messing around in each other’s heads too much."

She kissed him again. "That’s a bad thing?"

"Not when the time is right. This isn’t the time nor the place. And you’re behaving in a way that’s bound to draw attention to yourself as an alien. That’s not a good thing--trust me."

Sarah got up and looked very annoyed. "Listen to you, Paul. You’ve had all your fun growing up in this town, turning every bit of reality upside-down and inside-out. I didn’t choose this Time Lord thing, and if I’m going to be around for the next few millenia, I want to have a few kicks doing it."

"I’m here to bury one of those kicks, or had you forgotten that." Sarah looked away as he spoke. "We’re adults, and we have to behave responsibly. We’re also aliens, and we have to keep a low profile. Some of your staff know I’m alien and are going to do whatever they can to cause me as much grief as possible. That’s a fact I can deal with, but dealing with it isn’t any easier when the two of us are carrying on a private conversation in full view of everybody in the room."

"I think the people of this town are coping well enough. Given time--"

"I didn’t give them time! I came in here when I was younger and ruined this place. Ask them if they love me now that Leslie’s dead. Playing God is only fun when you are giving out goodies and working miracles. When you ask people to do the hard things and suffer the hard times, it becomes ‘Let’s crucify the bastard!’ You get both sides of the coin, Sarah.’ He paused, having spent more energy than he’d expected. "These people are conditioned to believe anything and expect everything. That is a combination for disaster, Sarah, and I’m to blame for that."

"You can’t always be there to protect me. Sooner or later, Lynda and everybody will know."

"That’s something we have to deal with. When you’re still beautiful when they all are old, they’ll know and we’ll have to tell them. They’re not going to be in a position to do as much then as they will now. Particularly those who are doubting how wise it is to have a paper owned by aliens and would love to expose us. Don’t think the Time Lords want our activities to get too much notice, either. I’ve lived through two Agency hits, I don’t want to repeat the performance."

"Lynda and Kate are up there now."

Paul winced. "That changes things a little, doesn’t it? If they’ve seen this, they’ll know something is up with you. The question is, what will they do when they know?" He walked over and embraced Sarah.

"Some day I’ll take you to visit the Time Lords. There isn’t much of interest on that world--nobody does anything and nobody cares much about anything of importance. We pay a high price for being involved, but there’s always the satisfaction of knowing you’ve made a difference. I’m learning how to make a positive difference. I’ve caused enough trouble in the world already."

"But how do you know what you do is going to help?"

"We don’t, Sarah. All we can do is our best and let the chips fall where they may."

"Time to go back, then. Time to go save the world." Sarah said glumly.

"Time to return a certain hospital room to its rightful place before somebody notices it is missing," Paul said. "Maybe a quick snog before you go...if we get everybody else sorted out first."

Sarah kissed him. "Is that a promise?"

"Cross my hearts," he said. "Now let’s get rid of them, shall we?"

This page created by Murray Head on the eleventh of June, 1998.