6 Years and 3 Months Later

I survive
I don’t cry very much anymore
I haven’t forgotten you
Nor would I want to
The memory of you grows more precious
You are a part of me still
I have survived
Yet nothing can ever be the same as before
I miss the things that might have been
Yet accept that, they can never be
The dagger that plunged into my heart
The day you died
Has slowly dissolved into my being
Sometimes I run my fingers across
The shape of it there is my chest
It has become a part of me
The wound remnants
Not a scar, are in capsuled
Within my being
They have become an infinite, enduring
Keepsake treasure
That is kept guarded
With the knowledge that
Love surrounds me and
The afterglow of your presence
Is still with me
Life goes on without you
Not that this is the way
I would have chosen it to be
I had no choice but to accept it
God whispers words of encouragement
To me everyday
He tells me
You are safe there with him
And he promises me
New blessings will come my way
So I listen to Him
As I pray
Lord surround
All those who
Are grieving,
With your love
Today


~ Septsong ~

Lying on the Dock

Your size 13 sneakers
Still lie on the bedroom floor
In memories I hear them plop
As you toss them off
On the hardwood floor.
Sometimes I imagine
I hear them squeak
As they run across
The basketball court

Then I remember
How many time your feet
Came racing home
Followed by the echo
Of your voice
"Mom, I'm home"

My motherly grip
Of your memories
Holds tight to your sneakers
Wishing you would direct me to who
You wanted me to give them to
Few could fill your size 13 shoes.

I could give them away
Yet they would always be
Lying on the dock of my heart
Just like you left them
When you walked barefoot
Right into heaven.


~ Septsong ~

Sometimes

Sometimes
I'm brave and I can say it is in
God's will everything’s going to turn out all right.

Then those feelings leave and I find myself
sobbing like a child who has lost
their very best friend

I cry out to God,
why did you let it happen?
am I supposed to die
of a broken
heart?

~ Septsong ~

Eighteen Candles

Eighteen
candles on your cake I snapped
your picture as you blew them out
with the gusto of an eight year old
never knowing it was your
last birthday.

~ Septsong ~

The Pieces of My Days

If life were fair
the wicked would always die young
the righteous would die of old age peace
would flourish wickedness would become
as a barren woman how I wish it
were so.

All the hurts of the
past seem insignificant
at the death of your
child.

The hurt, the
pain surrounds you
chilling your spirit like
a cold, wet blanket.

A broken heart
weeps tears flowing like
rivers gushing from the
main artery.

How...
and why,
if I knew the
answers would it
be any easier to
accept?

~ Septsong ~

Walking Slowly Through The Grief

If I could forget
the day you were born and
all the happiness you brought to me
I wouldn't keep this sadness in my heart.

You promised you'd never break my
heart and I know you were sincere
I know if you had your choice
you'd still be here.

They say
you're an angel now, that
now you've got your wings they
say you're wearing a halo even
if all that is true it would
never keep me from
missing you.

~ Septsong ~

The Grave

The freshly dug earth
Lies in a mound
Flowers are brown
The rain keeps coming down.

~ Septsong ~

The Unreal Moment

In the coffin
Your face is waxen
So unreal
This moment
Must be a dream.

~ Septsong

Empty

An empty room
An empty bed
An empty chair
An empty heart..

~ Septsong ~

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