May 11, 2000Why do I feel like Im repeating myself? It feels like no ones listening. No ones paying attention. Or maybe it's just that the people I want to listen, are to busy to hear my pleas for help. They have too much going on in their teenage lives to take a minute and turn the tables, to look through my eyes. Or maybe thats what they say about me. Sure it's hard on them. Just as it is on me. It's hard on all of us. So why do we all suffer? (Haven't i suffered enough for one month?) I don't want to make anyone feel guilty, or feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity. Maybe it's better that I leave now. And just clear my head. Let everyone else clear theirs too.
They don't know what it's like.
They think, "ya sure she's hurting, but so are we. It's no big deal." But then why does it feel like a big deal?
And why am I sitting here in front of my computer, completely alone, crying quietly. "Oh, but you can call us! We'll help!" But will you really? Can you really help ease this pain off of me? Or will you just pat me on the back, tell me im "strong", give me a hug and send me on my way. I don't mean to sound so bitter. But I have no choice. There's nothing you can do now. If there was wouldnt you have done it by now? Don't try to be a hero. Im a lost cause.
