| stuff about al>>> |
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 journal~4.30.03 hey kids, i've been playin my guitar and it's so much fun.... makes me feel closer to God and stuff, and it's not like i sing well at all but i love being here by myself playing and singing to Him. no distractions, no show, no comparisons.....nope, just me and the J-man chillin, there's nothing like it. wow, i think everyone and their half-brother has one of these things. that's cool i reckon, i just think it's stinkin' hilarious. hmm, what's gone on today, well it rained a whole lot, which always scares me- lightning especially (jen).. mrs. crockett was our sub in dp- ruled! i tried concentrating since i only had 8 pages left to read but couldn't so....i talked to andy about his gal friend whom i just love if you didn't catch that from my prom spill a few days back. speaking of andy, he signed to play soccer for milligan today. woohoo! which means now he, luke, and daniel will be in the same conference that plays king... which means i'll get to root on friends! alrightttttt. what else, well.... since you're wondering today is april 30th which marks a year and a half that i've been with evan. i can't believe it, makes me feel kinda old, but i know it (the relationship) has been a blessing from God and HE has been a blessing ;) oh yeah...evan brought me an old jars of clay cd i've never had but wanted and also the new relient k today, that makes me happy, and i think i'll go listen to 'em now... finish some good ol' precal.. read lord of the flies (grr) and go to our song of solomon bible study and foundry. you were dying to know that, huh? that's what i thought. only a few more days til my second family's gonna be home. i can't wait!!!!!!! hey, go dance in the rain and thank Jesus. aren't you happy to have such a beautiful Savior? journal~6.17.02 well, the past couple of weeks God's definitely shown me some things. one thing He's dealt with me about is trust. i've had a really hard time lately with worrying... mainly about evan, lol. i'm extremely proud of him working at camp. i shouldn't worry, but i do cause i miss him and he means so much to me. it seems so much easier to figure things out on my own than to put them in God's hands, but i know that's just a lie from the devil because i'm retarded and with God anything's possible. jo told me her family's moving to maryland at the end of july so between camp, mission trip, and vacation i don't know when i'll see her again cause who knows if she'll come home from michigan (where she's goin to school) this fall. she was the one who introduced me to mary and jess, and now i have even less time with her than i thought. mary will only be home 10 days before going to school. it's just weird; those are the girls i've spent the most time with over the past few years. when i think about it, i don't know when we'll all get to hang out again. then, the millers are leaving for the field in nearly a month and won't be home on furlow till i'm almost 21. we're planning on goin to venezuela but still... it seems like all these things are coming at once and finally the other day i thought, it's all part of God's plan and He can handle anything i throw His way, even if it's my stupid worries. i pray that i will have stronger faith. right now, i have a looong way to go. a verse that i found last week during my qt spoke right to me: no, dear friends, i'm still not all i should be, but i'm focusing my energies on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking foward to what lies ahead. (phil 1.3) so, i need to quit worrying and trust God so i can be all i should be and all He wants me to be. i have a year of high school left: i want people to see Jesus through me. will they see anything different, or will i be another face in the crowd? He must become greater, i must become less!
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