The December 18th, 2000 issue of The Washington Times reports that good looking and most dangerous lady (my words), Hillary Clinton has wrangled a seven digit advance for her memoirs as First-Lady from book publisher Simon & Schuster.  Trent Lott, when asked by Tim Russert this Sunday about Ms. Clinton's book advance, responded that he thought the abuse Newt 'Can't-Keep-My-Zipper-Up' Gingrich received for a similar book deal " . . .was uncalled for." And, "I'm a little bit hesitant to be critical here." Your Mr.Wonderful has no criticism of this deal. One, because, since as The Washington Times stated, she is a 'Senator-Elect' and probably outside the purview of the Senate and two, because I realize something Simon & Schuster doesn't. Hillary, while not very accomplished with baking cookies, is excellent with speaking volumes and not spilling the beans. The reason she must obtain this El Camino load of cash in advance, is because her effort, unless the techniques perfected by Ron L. Hubbard's apostles are employed, will certainly bomb! So, for Hillary to count on royalties from actual book sales, would be akin to her husband expecting a Presidential pardon from crimes not admitted. This memoir will be filled with everything we already know. It will reveal nothing new. Why? Because all the juicy, inside stuff that Oprah, Rosie and Bill Mahr fans crave, all that stuff only she and The Astro-Turf President share, won't be parceled out to her readers. Why? Because if she dared dole out the truth, she wouldn't be moving to a tony Georgetown, D.C. rental, but to a Danbury, Connecticut gray 'prepaid'. (Danbury is the location of a federal prison for females.)
Sunday morning while you slept, Mr.Wonderful was again awake and peering through half closed eyelids at the pre-dawn news shows. I thought to myself, "It Figures" as both Jesse 'Rent a Riot' Jackson and Dick Gephardt (who is hoping for a pair of mail order eyebrows at Christmas) both point blank refused to acknowledge President-Elect G.W. Bush as "legitimate." Always we hear the claim, that given the same circumstances, Republicans would behave in the same manner as the Democrats do. That claim is absolute bullshit! Two examples are the listing of the Bush campaign contributions and contributors and the Bush Florida Legal Team contributions and contributors on the World Wide Web. Team Gore didn't see the necessity of posting any of this information. Open your eyes people, these two parties play by a totally different set of rules. Or should I say that only the GOP plays by any rules at all? For evidence, may I site the rulings not handed down by the Florida Supreme Gore-A-Roo Court? Twice these learned jurists were asked to define precisely what indication of 'voter-intent' on the now famous IBM punch cards must be counted as a vote. And although these liberal lackies managed to rewrite every other facet of Florida voter law, oddly enough in favor of Team Gore, they declined to issue any objective, simply verifiable standard on what exactly was or was not a vote. Why? So Team-Gore operatives could argue and jaw and fight and in the end, harvest more votes for Al, the former tobacco farmer, where there was nothing more than low grade Chinese fertilizer.
What is 'DeMedia' you meekly query? That is the MW coined word to accurately describe the actual state of this nation's broadcast media. I've taken the political party designation 'Democrat' and joined it to the word 'Media.' 'DeMedia' came about because every media story is almost entirely slanted towards liberal leaning Democrats and their socialist causes. The DeMedia claims that "Gore won the popular vote." Let's examine that. Gore won the popular vote by a .6731% margin, yet Bush won the electoral vote by a more than double that, a 1.4761% margin! It's just another example of a statistic you'll never hear from the DeMedia because it contrasts Gore's Popular Vote 'Win' unflatteringly with Bush's actual Electoral win. Another example of fuzzy math was witnessed when Democrat Senator Dick Gephardt stated that, in regards to from January 6th until January 20th, 2001, that the United States Senate ". . . for those seventeen days we'll be in the majority . . . " Say what? Seventeen days?
We are now bombarded with more absolute clap trap from the liberal dominated media as they warn the GOP to not to upset ... exactly who? There are two political parties in this country. These parties promote, while not opposite goals and wants, certainly varied goals and wants. Beginning with legalized abortion, which the Dems feel is a choice and the Republicans and all the major religions on the planet know is murder. So we listen as the Major Media sputters that the Republican's, who have elected one of their party to be the first 21st Century President, and who now possess, no matter how slim, a majority in both the Senate and in the House, being warned not to upset . . . "WHO?" Democrats didn't vote this GOP majority into office did they? The Media, who did everything they could possibly do to defeat the candidacy of G.W.Bush (including the prevenient pronouncement that Gore was the victor in Florida) did not introduce the Bush progeny into Presidency. I ask 'The Media' just who the f#!k are the Republican's going to upset!? The ignorant masses who voted for Al Gore Jr., because Rolling Stone 'leaked' to the media that they had to air-brush down his package on the cover of their magazine, that inside painted V.P. Gore as some sort of savior of the Republic? Who are these elected Republicans going to alienate and anger? the Democrats in the Senate who voted to retain the most immoral President, heading the most criminal White House Administration in one hundred years? Who are these newly elected Republican's going to perturb, The Media? who are still mourning the defeat of the far from conservative Republican, the honorable Senator John McCain? Think about it friends, the only group Republicans in D.C. can offend are the very people who did not voted against them and our new President.
Last night, while your Mr.Wonderful was at rehearsal for his latest production, Al Gore Jr., buttered his concession speech onto the numbed emotions of his socialist sycophants.  Also watching were millions of Republicans, glad the fight was finally over. In another example of the overwhelming liberal media bias, or just plain out and out ignorance, I heard a radio commentator state that now that Al Gore Jr., has conceded, G.W. Bush could be designated President Elect! However, your Mr.Wonderful doesn't believe this spiel spells the end of Team Gore's campaign to wrest the office of President from G.W. Bush. How? I believe, as Team Bush, hands upraised, is basking in victory, Team Gore operatives are cooking up a gut-punch, possibly with the assistance of FBI files, in order to 'convince' three or so Bush designated electors to accord their votes to the Man From Tennessee. Remember, these S.O.B.'s (Sons of Boies) spent millions of dollars in a vain thirty five day attempt to have each and every Florida
undervote altered to be a vote for Vice President Gore. Taking into account the past five weeks, I place no "mischief" outside the realm of possibility with this bunch. On January 6th, 2000, when the votes of all electors are unsealed and revealed and G.W.Bush is confirmed the winner, only then will I relax ... for a few blinks, anyway.
Now Democrat, Al Gore, Jr., after 35 days of attempting to have specks, spots, marks, blemishes and bacteria counted as Gore votes is ceding his campaign. But, most likely, not the fight for President. I can't believe the calls for President-Elect Bush to appoint Democrats to his cabinet, when he received a larger percentage of the popular vote than Bill Clinton ever did. I heard no such "bipartisan wails" from the Dems at that time! I am at first angered and then amused (once I remind myself that most Democrats are either on some form of welfare or as ignorant, regardless of political affiliation, as the majority of voters) as I now hear for a less partisan election process! Whew! That's akin to having less odoriferous bowel movement. Can't be done, wouldn't be prudent.
The federal 'safe-harbor provision' protecting Florida's 25 Presidential Electors ended yesterday, December 12th, 2000. This 'safe harbor provision' absolutely defeats any possible attempt at Congressional tampering. Florida currently has a certified slate of 25 electors pledged to Bush so why would the Republican dominated Florida legislature move to certify a second slate of electors pledged to Bush? A second set of electors, since they would be named after the 'safe-harbor protection' lapsed on December 12th, that would not be shielded under this law? I don't know. Brain fade?
Last evening, the nation's major media, after having virtually installed Gore as President on Election Night, a long, long, thirty five days ago, did it again! Oh, they forswear ever making an 'error' like November 7th, Voter News Service fiasco, which proclaimed Gore the winner in Florida with only .000001% of the vote 'counted.' So how did they proceed last night, after glimpsing the one word 'remand' amongst a sixty five page codicil wheeled out from the U.S. Supreme Court? They scrambled up the broadcast towers and shouted "Gore wins!" When the truth was and remains that "Gore loses!" These media mumblers, in the rush to be first with the wrong news, have proved themselves as trustworthy as an Osprey fitted with Firestone tires.
Did you all notice that before the United States Supreme Court issued the 5 to 4 stay, most of the media was busy informing us that seven Justices were appointed by Republican Presidents? This was so these talking head morons, who would be just as happy reading a highly redacted script from a Lenin-era broadcast booth, knew their audience would realize that the decision would be made strictly along 'party' lines. In that case, wouldn't the vote have been 7 to 2? Well, currently these electronic imbeciles, who adore the Stalin single party political system, are attacking the Florida legislature for being majority Republican and therefore 'partisan.' Damn straight JoJo! The people of Florida voted more of these Republicans 'partisans' into office than they did Democrats. Or have these brainless broadcast babblers also determined that majority rule results in the disenfranchisement of those in the minority and should be overturned?
Your Mr.Wonderful apologizes for missing this on the news, but apparently some Florida Canvassing Boards are inspecting ballots using magnifying glasses in order to "discern the clear intent of the voter." Damn! Magnifying Glasses? No wonder the machine couldn't count votes for Al Gore, Jr. His constituent's pokes were so weak and dainty that they not only didn't impregnate or dimple the chad but their mark is so infinitesimal that the methods of Sherlock Holmes must be deployed. Take a gander at this catalog description:In the attempt to accumulate, amass, cull, garner, glean, pluck and just plain invent more votes for Al Gore, Jr., these tanned Floridian ballot tallyers have resorted to " . . . spotting defects or “flaws”— otherwise difficult or impossible to do with the naked eye . . ." Hell, these SOB's (Son's of Boies) might even record a manufacturing "flaw" on a voter's punch card as another vote for Team-Gore!
Making a W.A.G. (wild-assed guess) and since I have no need to C.M.A. (cover my ass) I thought I'd inform my millions of readers A.S.A.P. what is on the horizon with a G.W.B. administration. Communist China, holding the Clinton/Gore administration firmly in their chop sticks since day one, will soon (within the next two years) move on claiming Taiwan as a territory of Mainland China.  They will quickly do this because they know, while President Clinton has been getting his knob slobbed in the White House and V.P. Gore has been ignoring the votes of our brave sons and daughters in the armed forces, our military morale and materiel have deteriorated to that of a pre-World War II America. The Communists also know that a George W. Bush presidency will result in the rapid rebuilding of the U.S. Military. Of course this Chinese aggression against Taiwan will result in a huge armed conflict with the United States. And don't believe the rumor that my oldest brother lives in China has anything to do with my prediction.
Its seems pretty clear to MW that the U.S.Supreme Court is going to rule in favor of G.W. Bush in a 5 to 4 or a 6 to 3 verdict. Bush fans are hoping the Court will issue their ruling prior to Tuesday December 12th, 2000. This would obviate the need for the Florida legislature to certify Florida's twenty five electors. Since there are legal questions about the current certification status of Florida elector's, it would be wise for the Florida legislature to again certify the Sunshine States 25 elector's. I'll make mention of two points from today's session: There are still two trials in Florida, one in Seminole County again, and one in Martin county again, that if Team Gore wins, may add hash to his bong. So don't look for Mr. Personality to concede any time soon!
Sunday morning on Meet the Press, the brains behind the Team Gore 'Get-the-Vote-Out-After-the-Votes-Have-Been-Counted' effort, attorney David Boies, explained why it was not improper or illegal for him to have announced Saturday that in thirteen counties Gore had gained a net 58 votes. (I would have sworn that Judge Terry Lewis declared that neither side could or should announce any vote totals prior to the revised votes being delivered to the judge.) Boies deftly came up with some foppery that exempted him from the Judge's rule. Then, Tim Russert, having properly set up Boies announced, ". . . Did you hear that Bush picked up a net forty four votes in Miami-Dade?. . ." Wow! Boies was rocked back in his chair and lay stunned like an Arizona desert lizard after having been whacked by tree branch!
This morning on Fox News Sunday, David 'Nosferatu' Boies defended his use of a false (sworn) affidavit presuming to demonstrate that in a 1990 case an Illinois trial judge determined dimpled ballots were to be counted as votes, when actually the judge ruled dimpled ballots were not to be counted. Because submitting said false affidavit to a court would be grounds for serious actions against Boies' license to practice law at a $700 an hour clip, Mr.Boies honestly responded that he never sited the affidavit in his brief to the Florida Supreme Court. However, Mr.Boies failed to mention or remind us that this same false affidavit was used to convince the Broward and Miami-Dade County Canvassing Boards to lower their standards of voter intent to that of merely a dimpled or pregnant chad, which resulted in Al Gore, Jr. gaining 585 votes! So, Barrister Boies, your siting of a false affidavit, whether or not presented in a court, clearly resulted in the lowered standards in Broward and Miami-Dade counties that scored Team Gore hundreds of more votes.
In a 5 to 4 decision the U.S. Supreme Court called a halt to the recounts in all 67 Florida counties. Justice Scalia, writing in the majority stated, that the ". . . petitioner has substantial probability of success. . ." which means that Bush has a good chance of winning his legal fight when brought to the U.S. Supreme Court. He also wrote that "The counting of votes of questionable legality . . . does threaten irreparable harm . . ." to Bush. He also questioned ". . . the Constitutionality of letting the standard vary from county to county . . ." And there was concern of further degradation to the ballots if continued to be handled. What are the varying standards he mentions? Palm Beach standards: If all the chads are out, but no chad is out for any Presidential candidate, there is no vote for President because, per the Judge Terry Lewis' rules, there is no "clear indication of the intent of the voter". Can you see how the Broward County standard must harvest more votes for Al Gore, Jr.? Let me elucidate. Because some Democrats, especially those few who are not employed by the federal government in some makework job, or aren't union thugs, or aren't on welfare, or 100% dependent on some form of federal relief, were so disgusted with the Clinton/Gore administration that they could not and did not punch out a vote for Gore, even though they voted a 'straight' Democratic ballot! So, using the Broward County 'standard' these disgusted-with-Gore-Democrats, who had no intention of placing a vote for Al Gore, Jr., now see their non-vote counted as a vote for Gore!
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