Now like this is Chapter 3 of my book and here we'll like talk abut clothes. So your ugly, and you don't wanna like make yourself any uglier by wearing toe up nappy clothes now do you? As if~! You wanna like take the attention away from like your ugliness and a good way to do that is with like clothes. As many of you like probably already know I indorse Tommy Wear and I like encourage all of you to go out and buy his clothes cuz like I'm totally gorgeous and like you wanna be like me or something. Now before we begin if your like currently 50 lbs or more over weight stop like right here and go to this chapter of my book first...
Rule #1
Wear Tight Clothes.
I don't like care if you can't breathe, like in fact if you can still breathe the clothes are like tight enough okie? You want to like show off all that you've got cuz like if your totally ugly then showing off your like body will distract the guys from like looking at your ugly face.
Rule #2
Wear only Sports Bras
Sports Bras like show off your boobs really well and stuff and like I said before guys like big boobs. If your flat chested and like poor you can like stuff your bra or something. Whatever you do don't put like another shirt over top of your sports bra~! That's like a big no no. If you do that then guys won't like think your a slut and they won't want to like ask you out. Let's like ask a guy what he like thinks.
Rule #3
Shorts and Skirts must be Above Mid Thigh.
If you like wear pants you should just like a put a paper bag over your face right now that like says, "I'm the Ugly Chick." Pants don't like get you record contracts, believe me I like know. Anytime you like wear shorts or skirts they should be like way above mid thigh, like your ass should be haning out. Guys like this, and they'll like you too.
Rule #4
Never Wear Any Underwear
Like 2 words, Easy Access.
