"Aww theres only one beer left and its Bart's"
"Oh loneliness and cheeseburgers are a deadly combination."
"But I got these cool Alf pogs. Remember Alf? He's back. In pog form."
"But on the plus side, I knocked over the sun-sphere."
"You'll be back! You haven't seen the last of Willie!"
"But whenever your teacher tells you to pull your arm back in the window you do it, you hear?"
Patty: "On some days we don't let the line move at all."
Selma: "Yeah, we call those 'weekdays'."
"And it had a sweet, melodic voice...just like Urkal! And it appears every Friday night...just like Urkal!"
Lisa: "It is better to remain silent and be thought the fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Homer's Brain: "Uh-oh what did that mean. Better say something or they'll think you're stupid."
Homer: "Takes one to know one!"
Homer's Brain: "Swish!"
Homer: "You wouldn't understand, Dad, you're not With IT."
Abe: "I used to be With IT. But then they changed what IT was. Now what I'm with isn't IT, and what's IT seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to YOU!"
"And now for today's hymn, entitled 'In the Garden of Eden' by I-run Butterfly."
"Heyyy Kids! Today we're going to talk about Krusty's expensive new suit. His sexual harrasment suit!"
"Two wrongs make a right, Lisa"
"Oh yeah, I "slaughtered" the Special Olympics."
Moe: "So, what'll it be, Homer?"
Homer: "Moe...gimme a beer!"
Moe: "No. Not unless you kill your family."
Homer: "Why should I kill my family?"
Moe: "Uh...they'd be much happier as ghosts."
Homer: "You don't look so happy."
Moe: "Oh, I'm happy. I'm very happy - la la la, la la la la. See? *grabs Homer* Now waste your family, and I'll give you a beer!"
Bart: "I didn't know you knew Luke Perry."
Krusty: "Pfft. Know him? He's my worthless half-brother."
Lisa: "He's a big TV star."
Krusty: *scoffing* "Yeah, on FOX."
Owner: "Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!"
Homer: *worried* "Ooooh, that's bad."
Owner: "But it comes with a free Frogurt!"
Homer: *relieved* "That's good."
Owner: "The Frogurt is also cursed."
Homer: *worried* "That's bad."
Owner: "But you get your choice of topping!"
Homer: *relieved* "That's good."
Owner: "The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate."
Homer: *stares*
Owner: "That's bad."
Abe: *shouting* "That doll is EVIL, I tells ya. Evil! Eeeeeeviillll!!!"
Marge: "Grandpa, you said that about all the presents."
Abe: *whines* "I just want attention."
"It's only natural there be SOME things wrong with an old house like this. It's a fixer-upper!"
Burns: "Oh, goody: the Sea Monkeys I ordered have arrived. Heh heh heh, look at them cavort and caper."
Smithers: "Sir, they're the new winter caretakers for the lodge."
Burns: "Yes...they work hard and they play hard."
"How can you say anything bad about TV, Marge? It gives so much and asks so little."
"Have the Rolling Stones killed."
"Oh no! You need booze!"
"HA! You got the dud! And he looks just like you, poindexter!"
"This has got purple stuff in it. Purple's a fruit."
"Mmmm...64 slices of American Cheese. 63. 62...."
"Serving the customer is merriment enough for me. Thank you, come again. See? Most enjoyable."
Apu: "Where is a gun-toting maniac when you need one?"
Snake: "Sorry, I was in the can."
"Allright! Goodbye student loan payments."
"Oh no! A beta!"
"Yeehaw, no more sittin' in the dirt at the drive-in."
"Sounds like a pretty crappy game."
The Best TV Family in the World!
UPDATED ON 12/13/12
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