DON'T CALL ME BABY
Episode 12 – Encounter of Magic
Scene: The top of the highest building of Speightstown
Music: Nelly feat. City Spud – “Ride Wit’ Me” (Instrumental)
From this point we see a flying pink beam zooming across the sky from direction to direction. Eventually it touched down and Violet came out from the smoke. After the smoke was cleared out she stepped towards the side of the building and saw what was going on. As she looked down millions of people were surrounding the town hall chanting like mad. Then Tiko came out with a microphone in his hand. Upon that sight Violet got out a set of binoculars from her backpack and started observing the situation.
(Music stops)
Tiko: Citizens of Speightstown…
The crowd remained silent.
Tiko: Now that we are linked together as one, I would like to go over one other rule – all sceptres should be handed to me. And there’s one sceptre that I know of that you must capture because that is illegal! (gets out a poster of Violet) This girl here has been showing hers off for the past few months now and we want her to get rid of it! Then this empire will rise in power!
The crowd started cheering for him.
Tiko: She lives in the only hut in the highlands. Now… go before it’s too late!
Violet: (shouts from where she was standing) YOU JUST DID, STINKFACE!!!!!
Tiko: (gasps) WHAT?????
Violet: (waves her hand) OVER HERE SLOWPOKE!!!!!!!!
Tiko: THAT’S IT!!!!!!!
(Music restarts – Storm – “Storm”)
Quickly Violet reflected the attack with her sceptre and it started bouncing back towards Tiko, who also dodged the shot and struck the wall of the building. Then he got out a jetpack and flew towards her. She gasped again and quickly teleported herself away from the area.
(Music stops)
Tiko: Damn… (flies back) I’ve a good feeling that that would be towards her hut…
BACK AT CARLA’S HUT
[Music restarts – Chicane – “No Ordinary Morning” (Instrumental)]
The same pink beam went across the sky and after a few seconds it touched down and Violet came back into view. She wiped her forehead removing the sweat from it and headed inside. The first things she saw in there were that everyone was fit enough for battle… except for Crash, who was still what seemed to be asleep on the sofa.
Violet: OK, so did you manage to recover them?
Carla: (accidentally shows her bandage wrapped round her hand) Not quite…
Violet: (gasps) What happened here?
Carla: (looks at her bandage) OK… to tell you the truth I accidentally singed my hand in the fireplace.
Violet: Now I know what a marshmallow on a stick feels like…
Carla: Now I have some bad news - Crash didn’t make a full recovery. But he will awaken within the next few hours.
Cortex: I think we need someone to watch over him. What if Tiko comes here and raids this place?
Violet: (sighs) You’ve been feeling unconfident for the past… few… hours… (pauses for a long time)
Cortex: What’s the matter now?
Violet: I totally forgot to tell you this – Tiko wants to steal my sceptre and he knows my hideout! So he may come here and kill us both if we’re not careful!
Cortex: That’s nothing for a big girl like you to worry about! Here, take this. (gives an energy ball to Violet) After tossing it in the air you’ll get a shield round the hut! Be sure for the four of us to leave first.
Travis: Yeah wolfie, or else we’re dead meat!
Violet: Thanks guys! Now run across to Speightstown – this is their new hideout!
Travis: We’re ready when you are! No way are we digging ever again – the ground is as hard as rock!
The four of them left the hut quickly. Then Violet got outside and tossed the ball in the air, sending out an ooze-like force field around it. Then she got back inside, sat by Crash’s side and started reading “Of Mice And Men” by John Steinbeck.
*******************************
Episode 13 – Gates of the Law
Scene: Speightstown Town Hall
Music: Limp Biskit – “My Way” (Instrumental)
Hallie was in sight being carried by the neck by a robo-soldier. Then she was dropped in front of Tiko.
Soldier: Next time come to him when he tells you to! (leaves)
Hallie got on her feet and looked directly into Tiko’s eyes, glowing like burning trees and ash.
Tiko: Hallie! I hope you can do better than the poor efforts of Moe and Oxide, can you?
Hallie: What’s my mission, boss?
Tiko: I want you and Lio to patrol this area and get ready for a mission. A bloody mission…
Hallie: I don’t know if I can ever do so, but if you want me to slay the enemy then you’ve come to the right person! (chuckles) By the way, how can I slay someone with just a whip?
Tiko: Use yer spear, dummy!
Hallie: (takes her hat off and looks at it) Oh I see – sorry! (puts it back on)
Tiko: Now I know that you’re perfect for killing, so I want you to go and bring me the body of Crash Bandicoot, Princess Violet or any of their comrades for that matter! Remember – Violet is the more important of the lot, because she has the sceptre in her grasp.
Hallie: It is as good as done!
Tiko: It better had be… (gets out his gun) OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!
Hallie: YOW!!!!! (salutes him) YES SIR!!!!!!!!! (leaves the room)
Tiko: Hopefully she’ll get it right, or else she will get a bad deal! (smirks vilely)
AT THE ENTRANCE TO SPEIGHTSTOWN
[Music changes – Oxide & Neutrino – “Up Middle Finger” (Instrumental)]
Our gang of four were having trouble getting in…
Officer: I’m sorry but you’re not allowed to come through. This area is off-limits to illegal immigrants!
Cortex and Travis: But we’re not illegal… (turn to each other and crack up)
Carla: Ditto – I’m a resident here! You SHOULD let us through – we won’t cause harm!
Officer: Hopefully you won’t destroy this town…
Cortex, Travis and Carla: Say what?
Officer: Tiko told me that wherever town you guys went to you always destroyed it making life bad for millions of people.
Cortex: But officer… that’s not true! HE is the destroyer – not us!
(Music stops)
Officer: And how should I believe that?
Travis: (sighs and gets out the newspaper article showing Tiko’s first defeat) Read this – this shows Tiko’s capture in Los Angeles in the early 1990s.
[Music restarts – Coldplay – “Trouble” (Intro)]
Officer: Let me see… (reads it)
“Notorious gangster Tiko Cortex, AKA the Cerulean Wizard, has finally been arrested after over 10 years on the hunt. He and his siblings Deksta, Hallie and Lio were also imprisoned with him at the state prison, not far from here. Today also showed a tragedy as the heroes that imprisoned them went their separate ways. Younger brother Neo and his friend Nitrus Brio remained together but they were last seen at a storm in the south-west Pacific, Boron tried to free Tiko and his gang but he was also thrown in prison and Snappy Gator died from his injuries in hospital.”
(Music stops)
Officer: (stunned) Oh my word…
Cortex: See? This guy is nothing but pure evil! Now you see what his strength is really like!
Officer: But I’m still not letting you in – not under these conditions!
Travis: Wanna bet?
He then sends an electric current through the officer’s body, screaming. Then she collapsed on the floor.
Officer: (faintly) What… happened?
Carla: You’ve just been given a bad deal!
Boron: YEAH!!!!!!
Officer: Carla… is that… you?
Carla: Huh?
Officer: Please forgive me – Tiko’s been controlling me with his stupid gun! (gets up) I’ll let you through.
[Music restarts – Faithless – “We Come 1” (Club version intro)]
The gates opened slowly and loudly, and within 15 seconds they were completely open.
Officer: Quick – he’s gained power since the last battle!
Cortex: (rushes through the gates) We’ll be ready for him!
Travis: (follows him) Ditto!
Boron: (follows him) WHOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Carla: (follows him) You can count on us eight days a week!
Officer: Good luck!
And so the gang heads into Speightstown for a taste of Tiko’s medicine…
*******************************
Episode 14 – Out With The Trash
Scene: The back streets of Speightstown
Music: Emiliana Torrini – “To Be Free” (First verse and chorus)
Through these dark back streets Lio was seen dashing through them as fast as he could towards the town hall. After climbing many gates, hopping over trash can after endless trash can and slipping or tripping on empty packages and fruit peels he managed to come ever so closer… until…
(Music stops)
BAM!
He managed to crash into Hallie, who also ran into his direction. They found each other on the floor with bumps and bruises on mostly the face.
Lio: (rubs his head) Ow… Hallie, whatcha doin’ here?
Hallie: I’ve been told that Violet and her crew would be around here somewhere and I’ve been told to go and bring her body and sceptre to Tiko. And you?
Lio: I heard about Oxide’s defeat and I’ve been rushing to tell him where he’s ended up to, so that we can go and retrieve him while you’re at it.
Hallie: Where’s that?
Lio: A green club-wielding monster about 9 foot tall told me that he’s been enclosed as a crystal statue in the Dragon Kingdom. He also said that he didn’t even cause it, so he wants me to give it back. I only know of him to be… a Gnorc, but I don’t know his first name.
Hallie: S’alright. The main point about all this is gettin’ Oxide back and retrieving the sceptre.
Lio: Exactly.
[(Music restarts – Tomba Vira – “The Sound Of: Oh Yeah” (Middle 8 )]
There was a rustle in the trash cans immediately after Lio spoke.
Hallie: (gasps) What was that?
Lio: Stay back – you need to preserve your energy for the big fight with the Crystal Lake.
He went into the darker areas of the back streets and searched everywhere. Eventually he came across a purple paw.
Lio: There’s the traitor…
He pulls out the paw and it ended up being…
(Music pauses)
…a stray purple collie. It started barking at him and eventually bit his finger.
Lio: OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hallie couldn’t help but laugh.
Lio: AH, SHADDUP YA FACE!!!!!!!!
(Music resumes)
There was another rustle. Then he saw a blade sticking up in the trash. As he came to it…
(Music changes – Santos – “Camels”)
Something or someone quickly came out bringing the blade with them and instead of giving him a chop on the arm, but he was given a mohican haircut!
Hallie: (laughs even louder) LET’S ROCK N’ ROLL!!!!!!!!!
Lio: Grrr…
The person with the blade quickly came out of the darkness, showing herself as Carla, and quickly brought the blade down to Lio’s neck.
Lio: Stay away from me!
Carla: No time for last words, mister!
Lio: (in a high-pitched voice) Eap!
Carla: Come on out guys – let’s show him what we’ve got!
From out of the rubbish came Cortex, Boron and Travis, one by one. Then they surrounded Carla and Lio and saw what was happening.
(Music stops)
Lio: What, no Violet?
Hallie: Who cares? I’ve been told to kill at least one of them! (takes the spear from her hat and places it on a nearby bamboo stem) And kill I shall!
Travis: Well you ain’t takin’ Violet away from us – she’s a perfect girl!
Lio: Then again she could be lyin’ about in her little hideout in the mountain area, will she?
Travis: That’s not her hideout at all!
Boron: Grrr… ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lio: Then how come Tiko told us all about it?
Cortex, Carla, Boron and Travis: Uh-oh…
Lio: WANKER!!!!!!!! I’ll try and sort them out. Hallie, you proceed to the mountains!
Halie: Roger! (leaves the area)
Travis: Come back – you still need punish…
[Music changes – Thrillseekers feat. Cheryl Deane – “Synthesesia (Fly Away)” (Instrumental)]
Sooner enough Travis had a blob of ooze tossed at him and his energy started to slip away.
Carla: TRAV!!!!!!
Travis: Help… me… (faints)
Carla screamed madly.
Cortex: Relax Carla – we’ve been through many situations like that before. I’ll try and heal him after the battle.
Carla: (sniffs) Thanks… (wipes a tear from her eye)
From behind her back Boron started to snigger.
Cortex: OK bro – looks like you will end up with a bad bruise soon!
Lio: Show me, DORK!
Each of them loaded their weapons and stood in front of each other perfecting their aim…
*******************************
Episode 15 – The Moving Forest
Scene: Carla’s hut
Music: Pepe Deluxe – “Before You Leave” (Instrumental)
(Camera zooms through the window)
The first thing we see through the window is Violet on the sofa polishing her sceptre ready for battle, with Crash – still in a coma – next to her.
Violet: (thinks) I can only hope that Tiko doesn’t come into this place to steal my most powered possession. (looks down at it) But with this great array of power, I really think that this will never get taken away, due to the control I give it. (looks up) Then again Tiko may come back with more power than ever. (sighs) But at the end of the day it’s all down to the others blocking their way.
She got up from her seat and headed towards the window facing in the East direction, and were between the hut and the force field.
Violet: Strange. I never saw a line of palm trees surrounding this house…
She walked away from the window and started heading back to the sofa, but came to a sudden stop.
(Music stops with Violet)
Violet: … (pauses longer) Wait a minute – did I say “palm trees”?
She walked back to the window and saw that the trees were even closer.
Violet: This looks dodgy…
She opened the window and fired her sceptre directly at one of them, and hiding right behind it was… A ROBO SOLDIER!!!!!!!!
[Music restarts – Theme from “Big Brother” (UK version)]
Violet: (screams) CRIKEY – TIKO’S A COMIN’!
Soldier: YOU FUZZBALL!!!!!!!!!
The other trees came down and the other soldiers came following it straight towards the hut. Meanwhile, Violet quickly closed the window, ran towards Crash and started shaking him.
Violet: Crash! (shakes him madly) Please listen to me – TIKO’S HERE!!!!!!!!
There was no response.
Violet: Oh for Pete’s sake… SQUEEZE UP!!!!!!! (jumps on him)
There was still no response.
Violet: (looks panicked) This… just isn’t good…
Then the doors kicked open and the soldiers came running in. Then Violet got out her sceptre and fired powerful lasers from it at them, destroying them one by one. But every time one came in another one came in, and in some cases more.
Violet: (screams) THERE’S TOO MANY OF THEM!!!!!!!! (goes to Crash) PLEASE – HELLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!
But Crash still didn’t respond. Then Violet placed her ear on his heart.
Violet: Yep – he’s still alive. (stands upright) COME ON!!!!!!!!
He then lifted up one of his eyelids and saw the words “Out Cold” written on it. Then she furiously let go of it and turned to the soldiers, who were closer to her than she thought, causing her to do a short shriek.
Soldier: What’s it gonna be, missy – the sceptre or your life? (draws out a machine gun)
Violet started trembling. Soon after, Tiko and Hallie came in with wicked smirks on their faces.
Tiko: Sooooooo, looks like you’re ready to gimme me booty! (turns to Hallie) Good job for tracking the hut down – I never quite knew its exact co-ordinates!
Hallie: Any time bro! (winks at him)
Tiko: (winks back) And now, the prize for pure power… is mine!
Violet: No way hosée – you ain’t takin’ it from me!
[Music changes – Dream – “He Loves U Not” (Middle 8 )]
But just as when she was about to speak further she was tightly grasped around the waist by a whole gang of robots and struggled to break free. Then she was carried over to Tiko.
Tiko: Now… the time is right to gimme the prize!
Violet: Not in your life, stink face!
Tiko: I’ll show you!
He immediately reaches for Violet’s sceptre, in which is in her left hand, and it had no freedom to move.
Violet: HELLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!! (thinks) Crash, you’re my last hope – I just wish you can wake up now!!!!!!)
But just as when Violet started to think we see Crash on the sofa, and his middle finger on his left hand started to jerk every few seconds.
*******************************
Episode 16 – Carla’s Hidden Power
Scene: The back streets of Speightstown
Music: Mario Piu feat. DJ Arabesque – “The Vision”
The skies turned darker as time passed as our heroes are up against the wrath of the Pinkeye Fiend, in order to escape him and to track down the remaining enemies. Immediately, he took sharp paces towards them with a newly formed blob of ooze in his hand and the eyes flaming like fire.
Carla: (panics) He’s coming closer to us, doc! (grabs Cortex by the collar and pulls him up to her face) What are we gonna do about it?
Cortex: Relax Carla – this is one of the weaker targets! There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of!
Carla looked down with a more nervous face than ever. Then Lio clinched his ooze into a shot put position.
Lio: I know what you did last decade, bro. And the one before that. And yet the whole time we were together! And to pay for my stress… (speaks in a lower tone) …you’re goin’ deep down!
Carla: Oh for cryin’ out loud, we need to get outta here – and fast!
Cortex: Remember – you still got the blade with you!
Boron: UH-HUH!!!!!!
Carla: Yeah, but even though I have a bitta backup, I still need a bit of a defence strategy.
Cortex: Calm down – here’s a hint. His weak spots lie right in the…
Lio: Sorry – lecture cancelled! (tosses the ooze at him)
Immediately he shot his laser to melt it down.
Carla: I never knew you could do that…
Boron looked confused and scratched his head non-stop.
Cortex: You do now – you need to make sure you pounce at the right time!
Lio: But that ain’t gonna work!
He then tossed more of the blobs like a tommy gun and had all three of them on the run. Time passed and the blobs came closer to them as they hit the floor. Eventually, both Cortex and Boron were caught and the fire stopped. Carla screamed again.
Cortex: (faintly) Carla…
Carla started breathing fast and looked down, looking stressed.
Cortex: (faintly) Take care of Lio for me… (passes out)
Then she looked towards Boron and she saw that he also passed out. Then Lio formed another ball of ooze in his hand and had it held over-arm, ready to toss.
Lio: OK missy – it’s you and me! (tosses the ooze)
(The actions run in slow motion)
The ball started hurtling towards her and she quickly gritted her teeth madly, with sweat coming down her forehead. Then her thoughts came back.
Cortex: You need to make sure you pounce at the right time! (echoes)
Her face turned even more confident and she drew out the blade, waiting for it to come. But then another thought came in her mind.
Lio: But that ain’t gonna work! (echoes)
Carla then shook her head and looked more determined. Then as the ooze nearly touched her she swung her sword…
(The actions run back to normal)
…and the blob got caught on the tip of the blade!
Lio: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carla: What now… WUSS!!!!!!!!!!! (giggles)
She used the blade to do a fastball with the ooze… and it hit him on target, sending him down to the floor, draining his energy rapidly. He then screamed and squealed… until he was left unconscious.
(Music stops)
Carla: (swings the sword around) Hard luck matey! (accidentally hits her face on it, on the safe, straight edge) Ouch! (draws it and then goes up to the others)
She saw the others lying there in a state of unconsciousness. Then she thought carefully…
Cortex: Relax Carla – we’ve been through many situations like that before. I’ll try and heal him after the battle. (echoes)
And after the battle it is now, and she started freeing the others with her blade slowly and carefully.
5 MINUTES LATER
[Music restarts – Red Hot Chilli Peppers – “Under The Bridge” (Instrumental)]
They were all cut free. Now she rooted into everyone’s rucksacks and all that she came across… were enough potions for everybody, right in her rucksack. She then got out the injector needle and inserted the potion into their bodies one by one. First came Cortex. Second came Boron. And finally she did the same to Travis. After putting away the equipment she then looked into his closed eyes, waiting for the emeralds to shine again. Until, they started to open slightly, and after a few seconds they managed to open fully.
Travis: What the heck happened here?
Carla: I saved the day, honey!
There was a gasp from behind her. She turned and saw Cortex and Boron, both in shock from what they heard.
Carla: What? What have I done wrong?
Cortex: You called him… honey!
Boron started laughing out.
Cortex: So what’s it gonna be next, baby?
Carla: (sighs angrily) Don’t call me baby…
Carla and Travis: WUSS!!!!!!
Cortex: Sorry – I was only asking.
Carla: Good.
Travis: Now we need to try and get back to the hut before Tiko steals Violet’s sceptre and uses it for his evil deeds!
Boron: ROOOOOOOAR ROARRRR!!!!!! (Yes sir!) (salutes him)
Carla: OK then… General Travis!
Travis: I like the sound of it! Now… we got a wolfie to save here!
So each of them dashed out of the area quickly, with determined hopes about the sceptre…
*******************************
Episode 17 – Woody ‘Eck!
Scene: The highlands of Barbados, about 200 yards from Carla’s hut
Music: DJ Pied Piper and the Masters of Ceremonies – “Do You Really Like It” (Intro and chorus)
Our fearless four started heading through the plains with pure anger settling through their hearts…
(Music turns instrumental)
Travis: Hang on a moment – why are all the trees gone?
Everyone else turned to the exact location where Travis was looking. What could be seen were just the stumps of the trees, and nothing else.
Cortex: For once Travis, you seem serious. I mean, what kind of people would do this to a National Park?
Carla: I’m not sure, but we’ll try and find out as soon as we…
Just as when she was about to finish speaking she tripped up screaming and fell flat on her face.
(Music stops)
Carla: OW!!!!!!!!!!!!
Travis: You OK? Here, lemme help you out.
[Music restarts – OutKast – “So Fresh So Clean” (Instrumental)]
He managed to bring her back up, and she had a twig print across her face.
Carla: (in pain) Eeeeee…
Cortex: Hang on a second – what’s the twig print for?
Boron placed his nose on the ground and started sniffing at the face print on the ground. Then he drew out his claws and started chopping away at the long grass, and it revealed a lone twig, about twice the circumference of a baseball bat and is nearly as tall as him if it was standing upright. He started barking madly.
Carla: What is it?
He then pointed at the twig and picked it up.
Cortex: Did you catch the scent?
Boron nodded. Then he brought his head fur down to his shoulders and used the tree like it was a gun.
Boron: (imitating the gunfire) POW! POW!
Cortex, Carla and Travis: TIKO!!!!!!!!
Carla: Are you sure about this?
Boron: YEAH! (wafts his paw rapidly near his nose)
(Music stops)
Cortex: No wonder – you got the smell from his dirty laundry!
Carla and Travis both fell over behind him.
[Music restarts – Fragma – “Toca’s Miracle” (Intro)]
Then there were a few flashes up ahead.
Cortex: We have to see this – this could be where he is!
Carla: Roger!
Travis: No, he’s called Neo Cortex, never mind Roger.
Carla: Hey – I was only jokin’! (giggles)
(Music kicks into chorus)
They started dashing across the area quickly to find Violet being put in torture… against Tiko, with control over Violet’s sceptre! Then he struck her down with a powerful shot.
(Music kicks into club version outro)
Violet: OW!!!!!!!!!!
Tiko started laughing an evil laugh and pointed the sceptre at her body.
Tiko: Whatever you do, don’t you dare take this from me!
Voice: Leave her alone!
Tiko: Eh?
The four came to the scene, armed and dangerous.
Cortex: That sceptre belongs to the Crystal Lake!
Travis: And not a scrawny horse’s backside!
Tiko: Grrr…
Travis: (panics) I’ve done it now…
Tiko: (points the sceptre at them) STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
He fires the sceptre right at the gang, realising that they had little time to dodge…
*******************************
Episode 18 – Solid Gold
Scene: Just outside Carla’s hut
Music: Dusted – “Always Remember To Honour And Respect Your Mother” (Instrumental)
(Everything is in slow motion)
A strong wind force blew between each of the crewmembers and had powerful thoughts roaming through them. Now they have met up with Tiko and the others on a mission for not only Violet’s sake but also the world’s. The crystal sceptre glowed a powerful fuchsia pink glow as the bright beam headed towards them.
Cortex: (thinks) I guess this is it…
Travis: (thinks) He’s got us now…
Boron: (thinks) I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!
Carla: (thinks) I’m too young and pretty to die!
Violet: (thinks) And I still think that I could be working with that buffoon again!
Cortex: (thinks) But there is still one hope…
Travis: (thinks) One hope that stands out from the rest of us…
Boron: (thinks) For every attack there is an escape!
Carla: (thinks) And we will survive!
Violet: (thinks) And after all…
(Music stops. Screen flashes white and then shows each of the five crewmembers in the foreground)
All: We’ll be the survivors!
[Music changes – Sash! – “With My Own Eyes” (Chorus)]
Just then Carla’s pendant on her necklace started to glow. Then it escaped from around her neck and floated into the sky. It reached over them and performed a force field around them. The beam reflected the attack quickly and sent it flying into the robo soldiers, killing them one by one.
(Music turns instrumental)
Tiko: WHAT?!?!? (sighs angrily) You must be joking me…
Travis: Course not! (pulls his left eyelid up and sticks his tongue out)
Carla: I don’t understand… how can this… happen?
Violet: (gets up) Let me see that… (rushes towards the others and grabs the pendant from above) No wonder! And I thought it wasn’t true…
Cortex: What’s wrong with it? This is certain to have a link to the planet’s power sources!
Violet: It seems that this is actually… the Stone of Courage!
Travis: I’ve heard of the Egg of Courage, but this is ridiculous…
Violet: Speaking of which, both of them share the same pattern! (turns to Carla) I think you’ve got what it takes here!
Carla: Thanks! (winks at her)
Tiko: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! YOU LITTLE RUNTS!!!!!!!!!!
Violet: What do you mean?
Tiko: No one take the sceptre away from me…
Carla: Hard luck!
The Stone started glowing a wild gold and it sent a cloud of magic around Tiko, freezing him still. Then Violet quickly rushed towards him and stole the sceptre from him.
(Music stops)
Violet: What’s the matter - Too slow for me? (giggles)
Tiko: (unfreezes and looks around) What the…? Where’s my sceptre?
Violet: YOUR sceptre? Ha! I wish!
[Music changes – Air – “Radio Number One” (Intro)]
Tiko: Grrr… (turns to Hallie) You go sort them out. I have important business with Deksta back at Bridgetown.
Hallie: Yes sir!
Sooner enough, Tiko teleported out of the area within no time at all.
Hallie: (turns to the crew) Eeny Meeny Miny Mo, which one shall I have a brawl?
Cortex: Stand back guys – she could mean business.
Violet: I can’t agree more!
*******************************
Episode 19 – Doomsday for the Girls
Scene: Inside Carla’s hut
Music: Hi-Gate – “Pitchin’”
(Camera focuses in on Crash)
Crash’s left hand started to stir more and more and the finger raised higher and higher, until eventually, his arm started to rise with it. The shivers became more violent and the muscles started packing in a bit more…
(View changes to outside)
The others were still seen at the other side of the battlefield, with Hallie looking directly towards them…
Hallie: Feeling comfy?
Travis: Not quite – can you pass me an extra pillow?
Everyone turned to Travis and leered at him.
Travis: What? Can’t you take a joke?
Carla: (smiles at him) Sure I can!
Cortex: I doubt it. He’s turning more like Snappy now – you never know what you’re going to get from out of his mouth.
Travis: True.
Violet: True.
Hallie’s skin started to change red with fury. Then she had steam coming from out of her ears.
Hallie: YOU MISERABLE RUNTS!!!!!!! IT’S TIME TO KICK YOU TO LAST MILLENNIUM!!!!!!!! (charges at them screaming)
Travis: Look out! The bowling pin’s coming fast!
Everyone quickly dodged her charge and as she stopped she quickly drew out her whip, placed her spear from her hat onto the edge of it and wrapped it around Violet and Carla. They both screamed for help.
[Music changes – Members of Mayday – “Ten In One” (Intro)]
Hallie: The poison from the spear will arrive to you in a matter of seconds! Do you have any last words?
Violet: Grrr… WHY DID I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THAT CORTEX BLOKE?!?!?!?
Everyone else: What the…?
Cortex: Why are you picking on me for?
Violet: Not you – Tiko!
Cortex: … (shapes up) My mistake.
Hallie: What in the name of George Bush are you talkin’ about?
Violet: He’s the one who forced me into collecting the most powerful relics on Earth and I didn’t even realise they were for evil purposes! Now I know that he just wants my sceptre for ruling this planet! Believe me girl - this will never be possible!
Hallie: But it will – your lifespan will come to an end in just a few seconds.
Carla: But please… free us!
Cortex: I’ll try! (loads his laser and fires, but it bounces back)
[Music changes – William Orbit – “Barber’s Adagio For Strings” (Intro)]
Hallie: (laughs vilely) So long suckers! It’s been a while knowing you, and you didn’t live it very well. (laughs a lot more vilely)
As she laughed, both Violet and Carla blacked out.
Hallie: There goes the first two helpless victims! (places them down on the floor and releases her whip)
Boron: AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! (cuddles Cortex with tears in his eyes)
Cortex: Calm down Boron – we’ll get them back…
Travis: But she said that they’re already d…
Boron cried even madder and buried his face deep into Cortex’s chest. The sorrow even gave Travis a worried look.
Travis: Carla… (sniffs and draws a tear back) You’re… gone…
[Music changes – Limp Biskit – “My Way” (Intro)]
Just then a black figure came quickly in front of her and ran off with the two, back into the hut.
Travis: (looks confused) Was that… God?
Cortex: (shakes his head) And since when have you seen an idol that can’t fly?
Travis: What about Snoop Dogg? He can’t fly!
Cortex turned away from him and rolled his eyes, sighing. Then the black figure came out again and stood right in front of Hallie.
Hallie: Oh man… not HIM again!
*******************************
Episode 20 – Wild Mouse
Scene: Outside Carla’s hut
Music: Missy Elliot – “Get Ur Freak On” (Intro instrumental)
The area started to grow quiet between Hallie, who seemed to have a big smirk across her face, and the mystery guest, who to her seemed awfully familiar.
Hallie: Humph! (aims her whip at the suspect) Well no matter what you wanna do to me, rat, you will instantly be turned to a poisonous steak!
The others looked on from the other area of the battlefield.
Travis: Wait a mo – didn’t this girl say “rat”?
Cortex: What makes you say that… (gasps) Unless it’s…
(Music changes – Delerium feat. Sarah MacLachlan – “Silence” (DJ Tiesto In Search Of Sunrise remix, intro)
The figure came out from the darkness, revealing himself as…
Cortex and Travis: Crash Bandicoot!!! (turn their heads towards each other) HE’S BACK!!!!!!!!!!
Crash: (turns to them) Yeah, but I still need yer help to defeat her.
Immediately after he spoke Hallie made a swift strike with her whip.
Crash: (dodges) See what I mean? (rushes to them and huddle up) We quickly need a plan to take care of this girl for a while.
Cortex: That means we need someone on the attack…
Travis: …someone to keep her occupied…
Crash: …and a way out of this mess.
Boron: UH-HUH!
Hallie looked on as she saw the others devising something. She still had that wicked smirk across her face and the speared whip in her hand. The others broke out and looked out to her.
(Music stops)
Crash: (looks at Boron) OK, you know what to do.
Boron still looked worried.
Crash: Don’t panic – she’s still alive, I guarantee it. (looks at the others) You know your target.
Cortex and Travis: Aye sir!
Crash: Then let’s roll!
[Music restarts – Fragma – “You Are Alive” (Club mix)]
Within no time at all Boron headed straight towards Hallie, Crash started spinning in the ground and Cortex and Travis went into hiding at different co-ordinates.
Hallie: Now I’ve got you…
Boron screamed as she crashed into her and started running away from her as she attempted to whip him. Then she got so focused on Boron, giving the others a perfect advantage.
Cortex: (speaks through a com watch) OK Travis – on the count of 3, we both strike at the same time. 1…
Travis: (on the speaker) What if our power surges run out?
Cortex: 2…
Travis: (on the speaker) OK, I’ll leave it behind.
Cortex: 3! (rises and fires his laser)
As he did so Travis rose and fired an electric current from his body towards Hallie. As they attempted to fire, Cortex’s laser malfunctioned after half a second.
Cortex: (checks the power gauge) Don’t tell me I’ve lost all the power from my laser…
Travis: (successfully pinning her down with the current) Don’t panic – she’s gonna be our barbeque!
At this point Hallie looked like ash and was paralysed. Then she was chucked onto the hole that Crash dug and Travis chucked her in. Then she was buried and Crash got a wood plank from a fence and slipped it in. Then Boron got his claw out and carved on the initials “R. I. P.” on the plank.
(Music stops)
Crash: Do you think she’s really dead?
Travis: Beats me. Still, at least the main thing now is sorting out the girls. And besides, you guys have worked so hard you need a rest.
[Music restarts – BBMak – “Back Here” (Instrumental)]
Crash: You really think so? I think I’ve rested too much! (giggles)
Cortex: I don’t think you have – you ended up putting a lot of effort digging a pit that was 12ft deep! And I can see the tiredness from it!
Crash: (looks down at himself) I geddit… (wipes his chest with his hand, showing some sweat on it) No sweat.
Travis: You guys can do with a trip to the beach ever since you put in that much effort. You need to gather your strength before the next battle.
Cortex: What about you?
Travis: I can still gather mine while I’m dealing with the others.
Crash: OK then. (starts walking off) I’ll be seein’ you when you need us!
Cortex: Crash! (follows him) Don’t leave me behind!
(Music turns vocal and kicks into chorus)
Boron screamed and started catching up towards the others.
(Music stops)
Travis: Ah yeah… good luck guys. (heads back into the hut)
[Music restarts – Limp Biskit – “My Way” (Intro)]
As he headed back in the hut there started to be some rustling in the “grave”. A fried hand stuck out quickly and tried to pull itself up…
(Music fades out)
TO BE CONTINUED
*******************************
OUT-TAKES OF THE ARCHIVE
Tiko: Now that we are linked together as one, I would like to go over one other rule – all sceptres should be handed to me. And there’s one sceptre that I know of that you must capture because that is illegal! (gets out a poster of Shaggy) Now this girl…
Most of the crowd started screaming madly – in fact, most of the crowd were girls.
Tiko: What the… (looks at the poster) I took the wrong one!
*******************************
Hallie: What’s my mission, boss?
Tiko: I want you and Lio to patrol this area and get ready for a mission. A bloody mission…
Hallie: Hang on – can we cut? (speaks in a deeper voice) No pun intended!
Director: Now what?
Hallie: I think I’m on ladies’ stuff again!
Everyone starts laughing at her, causing her to blush and go off stage embarrassed.
*******************************
Through these dark back-streets Lio was seen dashing through them as fast as he could towards the town hall. After climbing many gates, hopping over trash can after endless trash can and slipping or tripping on empty packages and fruit peels he managed to come ever so closer… until…
BAM!
He managed to crash into something and looked up from his position.
Lio: (rubs his head) Ow… Hallie, whatcha doin’ here?
Director: CUT! That’s not Hallie!
Lio: (looks closer in the object) A lamppost?
Everyone started laughing in his face.
Lio: ‘Scuse me – I ain’t THAT thick!
*******************************
The other trees came down and the other soldiers came following it straight towards the hut. Meanwhile, Violet quickly closed the window and ran towards Crash, but she accidentally tripped up on a loose floorboard and fell flat on her face.
Violet: I don’t believe this – I’ve been doin’ that same mistake for the past 20 takes and what can I do about it?
Director: If you expect that thing to go then you should have waited until next weekend, when that board will go. In the meantime try a different route.
Violet: You’ve been tellin’ me that for the past few times, for time’s sake…
*******************************
Cortex: So what’s it gonna be next, baby?
Carla: (sighs angrily) Don’t call me baby…
Carla and Travis: WUSS!!!!!!
But as soon as Carla stopped speaking Travis kept on going with the “s” sound. Then he finished it off with an “ah”.
Carla: Nice try, but we both have to finish at the same time too.
Travis: You didn’t tell me…
*******************************
Cortex: We have to see this – this could be where he is!
Carla: Roger!
Travis: No, he’s called Neo Cortex, never mind Roger.
Carla: Hey – I was… (trips up screaming again and flies into the background, knocking it over)
Travis couldn’t help but laugh.
Carla: (pops her head out from the wrecks) It’s not funny, kitty…
Travis laughed even harder. Carla still didn’t look amused.
*******************************
Just then Carla’s pendant on her necklace started to glow. Then it escaped from around her neck and floated into the sky. It reached over them and performed a force field around them. The beam reflected the attack quickly and sent it flying into the robo soldiers, killing them one by one. But one of them dodged the attack and the shot went in the camera…
*fizz*
*******************************
Travis: Look out! The bowling pin’s coming fast!
Everyone quickly dodged her charge… but Hallie didn’t stop and tripped up over a fence and into a trough full of pigswill. She then brought her head out and one of the piglets started eating her hair.
Hallie: (gets out) GERROFF, YOU STUPID SWINE!!!!!! (turns to the others angrily)
Everyone else in the whole studio had gas masks on.
Director: I hate to tell you this, but… you need a shower.
Hallie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*******************************
Cortex: (speaks through a com watch) OK Travis – on the count of 3, we both strike at the same time. 1…
Travis: (on the speaker) What if our power surges run out?
Cortex: 2…
Travis: (on the speaker) OK, I’ll leave it behind.
Cortex: 3! (rises and fires his laser)
As he did so Travis rose and fired an electric current from his body towards Hallie. As they attempted to fire, not only did Cortex’s laser malfunction after half a second but it also caused an explosion on the set. Soon the smoke cleared up and we saw that it was destroyed.
Cortex: Oh… (chucks it in the wrecks) I bet that’s my fault for using it too much…
Site map -
Don't Call Me Baby - Archive 1
3
Back to My Masterpieces
Back to the Main Menu
Add-ons Ahoy!
Links to other sites
