DON'T CALL ME BABY
Episode 21 – Dead Girl Walking
Scene: Inside Carla’s hut
Music: Moby – “Porcelain” (Instrumental)
Travis was inside this hut walking around in circles waiting for the girls to recover. Then he heard a familiar sound…
Voice: Ow…
Travis: (gasps) What the…? (turns around) YES!
Both girls started to stir slightly and then they sooner enough opened their eyes at the same time. They also sat up that way too, and they ended up ramming their faces into one another.
(Music stops)
Carla and Violet: OW!!!!!!!!
Travis: (giggles) You guys OK?
Both girls turned to Travis with a furious look.
Travis: But it… seemed funny…
Carla: And it seemed painful to us. Shame on you!
Travis: Uh? No, please… Don’t go away from me… Not now…
Carla: Come on – you can tell from my face that I was only kidding!
Travis: OK then…
[Music changes – Destiny’s Child – “Independent Woman part 1” (Instrumental)]
Violet: (picks up her sceptre and senses it around the area) And now we see that we have Tiko cornered in the only town on the whole island that is still under his control – Bridgetown.
Carla: That’s the capital, innit?
Violet: Even I’m not sure, but I think it is. (puts the sceptre back on the nearby coffee table) Before we come up with a plan we need to know what happened to the others.
Travis: Well, you defeated Oxide by sending him to the Dragon Kingdom, Boron took care of Moe and shunted him into a brick wall, Carla dealt with Lio with Moe’s stolen blade and Hallie is dead.
Violet: Not that – I mean, where are our others…
(Music stops)
Violet: Wait a mo – did you say that Hallie was killed in battle?
Travis: I did it myself! Well, with the others’ help.
Violet: You are totally freaking me out. And besides, if she IS dead, she can’t even steal anything off us now that Tiko’s forces are down.
[Music restarts – Zombie Nation – “KernKraft 400” (Intro)]
As she spoke a dark hand reached for Violet’s sceptre and stole it.
Travis: Now that you mention our gang, they’re just chillin’ on the West shore. Thank goodness it got repaired in time.
Violet: Yeah. Now we need to devise a plan. The only way to keep Tiko locked in is to corner him in his hideout. Which is why we need to split up about the place.
Travis: But one of us will get lost!
Carla: Calm down Travis… (goes up to him) You always have the man in you. (pats him on the head in a sexy way)
Travis: Hey! (giggles)
Violet: Still, no matter what we can’t get past it without my trusty sceptre, which is right… (looks for it) …here… (panics) WHERE’S IT GONE?????????
Travis: Where’s what gone?
Violet: MY SCEPTRE! IT’S GONE MISSING!
Travis: It can’t have gone far!
(Beat kicks in)
There was an evil girlish voice laughing away outside. They both rushed to the front door and they saw Hallie, still looking black from the shock, with the sceptre in her hand.
Travis: (gasps) Dead girl walking!
Carla: She’s alive?!?!?
Hallie: How’d you guess, suckers?
Violet: Give that back right now, girl!
Hallie: Oh, shall I? (tries to whip her, but it only goes as far as a centimetre from her body) I see that I’m too weak for a fight at the moment.
Carla: That’s good! (grabs the Stone of Courage) FREEZE!
Nothing happened. Then Hallie laughed louder and used the sceptre to teleport out of the area.
(Music stops)
Violet: Grrr… (turns to Carla) What in the name of Madonna happened?
Carla: My Stone’s low on power.
Violet: Then why didn’t you charge it?
Carla: Because I just noticed now…
Violet: YOU ROTTEN B…
Travis: (immediately) Calm down! Chill! Freeze!
Both of them were silenced.
Travis: Don’t panic – we can still be able to chase Tiko out without the sceptre. Violet is still powerful in her own way as she still has magic in her heart. Carla, your Stone needs charging up. And my electric energy needs a boost too. So then again we could be all powerful.
Carla: But what are we gonna have to tell to Crash and the others?
Travis: I’m sorry, but we have no other choice…
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Episode 22 – Golden Rage
Scene: The western beaches of Barbados
The place seemed quiet and the only sounds that could be heard were from the nearby seagulls, the cool breeze, the nearby waves splashing onto shore and the rest of the gang on sun beds, sound asleep, except for Boron, who was busy making sandcastles a couple of inches from the water. He placed the last shell onto what seemed like a 2-foot-tall sand replica of Cortex Castle and smiled with joy.
Boron: (poses next to it) TA-DA!
But the happiness was stopped by a big wave crashing on top of it. This caused him to scream and panic, and to dive into the water towards the open, in hopes of recovering it. As soon as he left a mobile phone started ringing with the ring tone of Shaggy – “It Wasn’t Me”. The noise awakened Cortex and within a few seconds grabbed it and answered it.
Cortex: (tiredly) Hello?
[Scene quickly changes back to Carla’s hut. Music starts – Storm – “Time To Burn” (Club version intro)]
Carla: (speaks on the phone) You are not gonna believe this sir – Hallie has sprung back from the dead and has stolen Violet’s sceptre! We also know where she’s going with that one!
(Scene changes back to the beach)
Cortex: But I thought you had everything under control…
Carla: (on the phone) We thought we did, but that pesky little bugger…
(Scene changes back to the hut)
Carla: …came in here by surprise and we never knew what hit us.
Travis: (goes up to the speaker) Hiya!
Violet started laughing. Carla then rolled her eyes angrily and shoved him away from her.
Travis: But I thought you loved me…
Carla: I know, but this is very important. We need to…
(Scene changes back to the beach)
Carla: (on the phone) …make sure that they get the message.
Cortex: Come again?
Carla: (on the phone) Sorry – I was speaking to Travis then.
(Scene changes back to the hut)
Carla: Now listen carefully – the tactical plan we have would be to corner Tiko in his hideout in Bridgetown…
Cortex: (on the phone) How did you know about his hiding place?
Violet: Duh! Sceptre! Well… I had it at the time.
Carla: Yeah. (turns back to her phone) Now that way we can steal the sceptre back and give him a taste of his own medicine, and believe me…
(Scene changes back to the beach)
Carla: (on the phone) …it’s not gonna taste very nice. You take the others with you for a briefing at my place within the next ten minutes, if not sooner.
Cortex: Thanks. (puts the phone down)
(Music stops)
Boron was already half a mile from the shoreline trying to recover his sandcastle but he then went so tired he fell back into the sea. Back at the shoreline itself Cortex was trying to shove Crash awake…
Cortex: We have some bad news – Tiko has finally gained possession of Violet’s sceptre!
Crash: (wakes up with a spinning jump) Say what?
Then Boron was drifted back onto the shore like a tortoise shell, although he ended up wearing one. Then a slithery hand took it back from him quickly, causing him to spin around several times and at the end of it looked dizzy.
Cortex: (turns to Boron) How many times have I told you sandcastles don’t last long!
Boron whimpered and looked down sadly.
Cortex: Calm down – we’ll make a new one when we get home. Now we have to meet up with the others quickly – something has gone wrong.
[Scene changes to the mayor’s office in Bridgetown. Music changes – Limp Biskit – “My Way” (Instrumental)]
Hallie: (runs down the hallway) I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hallie came storming in with the sceptre in her hand, despite being lacked in strength due to the electric shock she got earlier. After placing it on a nearby desk the main seat turned around to face her, showing himself as Tiko.
Tiko: Thanks a lot sis! I can do with your gratitude! By the way, what took you so long?
Hallie: Everyone thought I was dead.
Tiko: (laughs) Don’t make me laugh… (laughs louder)
Hallie looked angry by his actions.
Tiko: Oh… what?
Hallie: It’s not very funny!
She tried to whip him, but just before she was about to strike she passed out.
Tiko: I think the electricity cooled her off. (looks at the sceptre) And it looks like I have some serious domination to do! (laughs vilely)
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Episode 23 – Trapped!
Scene: Just outside Carla’s hut
Music: Kid Rock – “American Bad Ass” (Intro instrumental)
Deksta was right at the back of the hut watching in on Carla’s strategy. Then she got so surprised she switched her phone back on and waited for a reply.
Tiko: (on the phone) Hiya!
Deksta: Bro! I got their plan right here.
Tiko: (on the phone) Excellent. What are they planning to do?
Deksta: They want to corner you into the smallest space possible so that they can take your defence away from you.
Tiko: (on the phone) How puny!
Deksta: Come again?
Tiko: (on the phone) Who would want to bother cornering me that after combining the Powers of the Four Seasons, the Key of Virgo, the Egg of Courage’s shell AND Violet’s sceptre we can go far!
Deksta: What about that Stone of Courage around Carla’s neck?
Tiko: (on the phone) Hallie told me that it won’t recharge in time, so just leave it aside.
Deksta: OK…
Tiko: (on the phone) Now we want you to block their way to Bridgetown as soon as possible.
Deksta: Yeah but…
Tiko: (on the phone) WHEN I MEAN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE I MEAN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deksta: Right – I’ll be sharp! (turns her phone off) OK Crash Bandicoot – You have a lot of explaining to do! (cracks her knuckles)
[Scene changes to inside the hut. Music changes – BranVan3000 – “Astounded” (MJ Cole remix, instrumental)]
The crew were sitting around the fire discussing the plan…
Carla: And if we have to corner him we need to start from different coordinates so that out circle of power will become small enough to trap him.
Cortex: That’s all right with us.
Carla: Crash, you take the Northern area. Travis, you try the South. Cortex and Boron shall be in the Western area and are to be 5 miles apart. The same will apply to Violet and me in the Eastern area. We make a journey to the town hall and that way we can surround him when we get inside.
Violet: Hey Carla – for a bandicoot your thinking takes you to the moon and back!
Carla: (giggles) Thanks!
Travis: Now let’s get down to business before trouble…
(Music changes – Fatboy Slim – “Star 69”)
The door slammed open.
Travis: …shows up?
Deksta: It’s too late guys – you are down for one heck of a bruisin’ right now! No one will take Tiko’s power away! Stay back kitty! (punches Travis up to the ceiling and comes back down on his belly)
Crash: I thought cats always land on their feet.
Travis: Shut up.
Cortex: Show me what you’ve got up your sleeve! (turns to the others and whispers) Scram while you can! I’ll catch up!
The others tried to leave, but all the doors and windows were completely locked and the curtains were force closed.
Deksta: (giggles) Only I have the key, and now that you’re in my grasp I can take care of you all in an easy state! (gets out her weapon)
Everyone else stood back and prepared for the worst…
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Episode 24 – Thunder Shox
Scene: Inside Carla’s hut
Music: Santos – “Camels” (Club version intro)
The room was almost pitch-black, with the only source of light coming from the faint flame on the fireplace. But it was strong enough to shine the shadows of the people in there. Crash and his crew were taking as many backwards paces as possible away from Deksta, whose shadow on the wall showed that she was hiding something right behind her. She was about to draw it, but then she hid it for a bit longer.
Cortex: I can see what’s coming, ever since I’ve known all her strategies…
Carla: What do you mean?
Cortex: I mean, that somehow she’s starting to run out of ideas and is physically getting weaker, so there’s no way that she can surprise us.
Deksta: Oh I can, can I?
An electric spark started to glow right round her.
Travis: Heck no – that’s just yer stupid buzzer.
Crash: Yep – we all saw it and this means that we’re still gonna take you out of our way the easy way!
Deksta: Wanna bet?
She drew the “buzzer” from behind her back, but instead of looking like the standard version, this one has got an upgrade! There was a voltmeter and she placed it onto 6v.
(Music stops all of a sudden)
There was silence. Then there was an outrageous laughter between each of them. Deksta’s eyes started to turn from her usual sapphire-like eyes to a boiling pot of water at 400ºC. Sooner enough the laughter stopped.
Violet: LOOK OUT! SHE’S GONNA BLOW!
(Music restarts – Musique vs. U2 – “New Year’s Dub”)
Then she squealed and exploded into a rage, turning the meter up to 10,000v.
All: 10’000 VOLTS?!?!? (all gulp)
Deksta: Heeheeheeheehee! Time to send the micro-pulse!
She immediately launched one of the sparks across the room and all six of them managed to split up. Then she kept on firing as mad as she can, and after a few minutes she didn’t look exhausted or tired.
Travis: Guys! I think we should counterattack!
Carla: But one of us can get killed! This is a power that we haven’t sensed in a long time!
Travis: I know, but it’s our only choice!
Violet: You are joking! We don’t need to get hurt that bad enough we can’t fight Tiko!
Travis: But then again we can’t fight him without defeating HER!
Crash: Good point.
Travis: LET’S GO!!!!!!!!
While they were dodging the shots each of them surrounded her in a circle that was two metres away from her. Then each of them drew out their weapons and fired. Crash’s bazooka rifle just crashed into her body without causing damage, Cortex’s laser fire was reflected back by the effects of the electricity, Travis’s thunder attack also got defused, Carla’s shot from the Stone of Courage failed again because…
Carla: (screams) I FORGOT TO BLINKIN’ CHARGE THE THING!!!!!!!!!!
Boron drew out a crossbow, but no effect was shown when he shot it, and Violet, however, tried a beam of magic from her wrist but it got diffused in the electricity, making it much stronger.
Carla: It’s no use! We just aren’t strong enough to take her on!
Cortex: I’ve got another idea! (loads his laser)
Violet: No doc – whatever you do, don’t try and fire! You could get hurt!
Cortex: What’s better – being killed or being trapped?
Carla looked at Violet with a worried look in her eye.
Violet: We tried.
(Music stops)
Just as when Cortex was about to fire Deksta unleashed another thunder shock right at him, sending him flying onto the wall and onto the floor flat on his face, yet he didn’t seem to move at all. That even includes breathing.
[Music restarts – Rank 1 – “Airwave” (Intro)]
Crash: (screams) DOC!
Everyone came over to him with worried facial expressions on them. Travis then rolled him onto his back and placed his ear on his heart.
Carla: (scared) Well?
Travis: (trying to get a signal) I can’t tell.
Boron started to have tears running down his eyes and was almost about to cry.
Violet: Calm down – he’ll be all right, I promise you.
After a while, Travis stood back up.
Travis: I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but I can’t get a signal. (looks back at him) He’s… gone…
Boron then started to cry so madly and buried his face into Violet’s chest, who tried to soothe him. Meanwhile at the other end of the room, Deksta was smiling a victorious smile and giggled vilely.
*******************************
Episode 25 – Eternal Flame
Scene: Inside Carla’s hut
Music: Korgis – “Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime” (Instrumental)
The flame on the fireplace went out quickly as each of them stood over Cortex’s dead body… in growing pain inside their hearts. Whilst they mourned over him Deksta sniggered behind their backs, got out her mobile phone and gave him this text message –
“I should of listened 2 U earlier bro but you were rite – 2day was doomsday 4 Neo, as he’s now B-ing mourned over all of a sud-N. :) Now I can s-N-se that with this magical gadget they’ll all B elimin8ed. 1 question – can I have a bigger paycheck after all this?
Deksta”
She stopped typing in the message and sent it directly to him. Then she looked on and aimed the buzzer at the others.
Crash: (mournfully) I guess… now’s the time to take him away… (attempts to pick him up) Wait a minute – he still feels warm…
Boron looked up at him quickly.
[Music changes – Thrillseekers feat. Sheryl Deane – “Synthesesia (Fly Away)” (Club version intro)]
Crash: What’s better… he’s coming back to life!
Travis: How come?
Crash: Take a look for yourself! (points at his feet)
His left foot started to twitch slightly. Then it started moving more and more and the fireplace flame came back to life with him. As he managed to open both eyes the flames went up as far as it could go.
Carla: Am I seeing a pattern in this?
Violet: I’m not sure.
Then he came back to his feet within an electrical spark.
Crash: WHOA! (turns to Travis) Did you do that?
Travis: I don’t think so.
The flash went away and Cortex stepped towards the group with a power surge going around… not his body, but his laser!
[Music changes quickly – 2Pac – “Till The End Of Time” (Intro instrumental)]
Travis: (gasps) HOLY COW!!!!!!
Crash: What on Earth has been going on?
Cortex: I’m not sure… but I think the power surge from Deksta’s buzzer has somehow made me – in a way – stronger.
Deksta quickly gasped and faced the group, and she screamed with what she saw. Then the others soon made eye contact with her.
Deksta: He’s… STRONGER?!?!? (her worried expression soon becomes furious) NO MATTER WHAT HE’S STILL BEING PINNED DOWN!!!!!!!!
Carla: I don’t think so!
(Music changes – Basement Jaxx – “Bingo Bango”)
Deksta’s eyes soon became furious and she started to glow as bright as fire. Then she turned the voltmeter to a million volts!
Violet: SHE’S GONNA EXPLODE!!!!!!!
Deksta immediately fired at them, causing each of her enemies to split up and run… except for Cortex, who had a serious look on his face. The current came rushing to him faster and as the time flew by he opened the power container on his laser, and within a few seconds… that’s where it all ended up.
(Music stops)
Deksta: Uh-oh…
Then the trigger was pulled and the power came rushing back to her at twice the speed of sound…
[Screen turns white for a few seconds. Then it restores itself to the ruins of Carla’s home. Music changes – Fatboy Slim – “Right Here Right Now” (Intro)]
The house was totally destroyed from head to toe and the first things we see are a human hand sticking out from the rubble, a melted-down buzzer sitting next to it and the intact fireplace. Then from out of the smoke the others came out.
Cortex: (looks at Carla with regret) I’m sorry…
Carla: (looks back at him with a worried face) I know you’re sorry, but… (sighs) This is my only home, but we can still be able to set up a new base back in your place.
Crash: What do you mean?
Carla: I mean, bandicoots don’t belong in the West Indies at all.
Travis: So how did you get here then?
Carla: When I heard about scientists taking over the island I made a run for it before I was turned into a mindless slave. But now’s the time to return home!
Travis: Not quite. We still have a certain someone to deal with, and he’s over in the capital! He’s gonna pay for all this, and we don’t mean bills or taxes!
The crewmembers left the area towards Bridgetown, where their destiny awaits…
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Episode 26 – Aqua City
Scene: The top of the Town Hall of Bridgetown
Music: Storm – “Storm Animal” (Warrior remix)
Within the dark fading sky a figure in white shoes started running across the roof in a fast and atrocious manner. As he ran the sun finally left the area over the horizon and all that can be seen is a dark and gloomy sky, still looking pleasant by the moonlight shining down on the ground. Most of the light shone like a stage light down on the edge that was hanging directly below the main entrance. Then the figure stepped into the light, and obviously he showed his face as Tiko. He lifted the sceptre as far as he could go, and with brute force. The moonlight managed to touch both his eyes and the pink crystal, and then he grabbed the six relics from deep in his backpack and loaded them inside the power container.
Tiko: Now I have everything in my grasp! The Powers of the Four Seasons, the Moon-represented Key of Virgo and the Sun-represented shell for the Egg of Courage are all mine! (laughs vilely) Now I can be able to control the Earth’s fate!
He aimed his sceptre directly at the moon and charged up his prize.
Tiko: Forces of the Sun, the Moon and the Four Seasons, come to me and get down to business!
(Music stops. Sound effect – thunderclap)
Just then there was one drop of water falling from the sky. And another. And another! And soon several of these started to flood the area. After one minute the level of water rose to three inches. Then it continued to rise!
Tiko: Excellent! With those drowning rats gone, nothing can stop my reign of terror! (laughs vilely) Get it? Rain? Reign? (laughs even more vilely than before)
[Music restarts – Armaud Van Helden – “Koochy” (Instrumental). Scene also changes to the new underwater world]
Around the globe we see all sorts of effects happening – at New York the rising water started to erode the bottom of the Statue of Liberty, causing it to begin to lose its balance. At the UK the floods started to wipe out the entire countryside, destroying all the trees and plants and drowning all the animals that lived there! Back at Australia the water levels started to rise higher and it flooded most of the houses. In one particular house we see Snappy half-asleep, underwater swimming across the kitchen in an astronaut suit with an air pack.
Snappy: Houston, we have a problem!
[Scene changes to near the gates of Bridgetown. Music changes – Gorillaz – “Clint Eastwood” (Ed Case/Sweetie Irie radio edit, instrumental)]
Our heroes managed to keep their heads above the water and swam across to Bridgetown.
Travis: I’ve heard of trench foot but this is ridiculous.
Crash: Still at least it gives us an advantage in swimming over the barb wired fence.
Carla: Good point.
The water was soon rising up to twenty feet and the barbwire on the fence started to float apart. They managed to float around their bodies without a scratch.
Violet: (giggles) So much for security!
They hovered over the fence easily and the first thing they see is a bright spark of power from the roof of the Town Hall. It caused some of the houses to crumble apart and the water flow to increase from bad to worse. Then it attempted to evade the roof that Tiko was standing on, causing him to lose balance every few seconds. The others managed to swim over to him in time and climbed on, fearing for his plan to succeed.
(Music stops)
Cortex: Tiko, you have a lot of explaining to get through.
Tiko: And that’s what I’m gonna do! You see, throughout my life only hooligans have been living here and I’m sick of it! So like Noah did earlier in time I’m here to start a new race!
Boron screamed with fright.
Tiko: I don’t mean to burst your bubble but get ready to drown – like – rats!
[Music restarts – Avalanches – “Frontier Psychiatrist” (Instrumental)]
The roof started to crumble apart and big cracks broke around everyone. Eventually they broke up into seven pieces, each one having someone standing on it like it was a surfboard.
Tiko: And now you’re ready to face your ultimate doom!
Crash looked up at the sky and he managed to smile for some reason.
Crash: Hey guys – I have an idea!
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Episode 27 – The City of Angels
Scene: Over 5000 feet in the air, and the world was currently flooded
Music: Stereophonics – “Have A Nice Day” (Intro and chorus)
(Camera goes up the atmosphere)
The sky sooner enough becomes much more darker for us to see and the thunder and heavy rainfall continues. As the floods progress the clouds were getting closer to them. As we go through the clouds we head into heaven, where a group of angels were just hanging around. We focus in on an angel that died as an old man, playing chess with Frank Sinatra.
(Music turns instrumental. The old angel sounds a lot like Michael Caine)
Angel: (corners Frank’s king) Check!
Frank: Hmmm… I can break out of this one! (moves his king to safety)
Angel: (giggles) You’re pretty good!
Frank: Well Chad, it all comes from being sneaky in the music business.
Chad: I get it – you did it your way.
(Music stops)
Voice: Hey Mr. Medulla – you just gotta see this!
Chad quickly hovered out from his seat and flew over to John Lennon (from the Beatles if you didn’t know), peering over the side of the cloud.
John: You are not going to believe this, but there’s a big flood coming into this area! And it’s been higher than when Noah’s Ark sailed across a flood that was half the size!
Chad: You are joking. Who left the rain clouds on?
Frank: (from his seat) No one operates the clouds unless the Earth needs water, so the flood means that someone did this deliberately.
Chad: Wait a minute – I can see a few signals down there!
The flood soon came six feet under him and he saw our heroes battling against Tiko, riding on boards of marble and trying to attack him.
Chad: Oh brother… not HIM again!
[Music restarts – Fragma – “You Are Alive” (Club version)]
Then the water level kept on rising further and the water began to leak through the clouds.
John: Beware of wet floors!
All three angels hovered above the water surface and waited for the battlers to reach them. As soon as they appeared…
Tiko: HALT!
The floods remained at that level.
Tiko: Now is the time to send you drowning! You are now 10000 feet above sea level, or it WAS 10000 feet! (laughs)
Crash: (looks around) Hold it right there – is it me or have we all died in battle?
Cortex: No - if that was the case, then Tiko would be in hell, not heaven.
Violet: O... K…
Tiko: Now for my ultimate plan to kill you – you have lost your covers, and it’s now time to send you drowning! (raises his sceptre above him) I command the clouds to vanish and the force to pull them down to the dark depths!
Chad: (goes in front of them unexpectedly) Leave them alone!
Tiko: Well, well, well, if it isn’t Charles Medulla IV. So nice to see you again… NOT!
Chad: I remember you nice and well. Your punishment to me was terrible and now I have the chance for revenge!
Travis: And if you don’t believe him, I once knew him. You deserve the torture.
Crash: What are you talking about?
Cortex: Let’s just say that we were once friends of him… until he was murdered 12 years ago.
Violet: The poor thing… :(
Travis: And now’s the time to give him capital punishment!
Boron came up to Tiko and started growling at him.
Tiko: Who cares about that scruffy mongrel?
He attempts to fire the sceptre at him, but he dodges and the beam… accidentally hit Carla, and was sent flying into the water.
(Music stops)
Travis: CARLA!!!!!!!!!!!
Water bubbles were seen rising above the surface and they got smaller and smaller.
Travis: (takes off his fleece) Stand back – I’m going in!
Violet: No, wait – it’s dangerous down there!
But Travis didn’t listen – he immediately dived underwater and within a few seconds he brought Carla from under the water and brought her back to safety.
Violet: She’s not breathing…
Travis: (places his ear to her heart, but then his heart stopped) No… heartbeat…
A tear came down from his eye and then more came. Then he buried his face deep in her chest and more tears trickled down.
Tiko: (comes up to them and speaks sarcastically) Awww, I’m so so sorry… (gets out his sceptre) And so will you!
[Music restarts – Avalanches – “Frontier Psychiatrist” (Instrumental)]
Chad: Watch out Travis my boy – he’s bad to the bone!
Travis: (thinks) This battle will be in memory for her… I know it!
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Episode 28 – The Last Alt-titude
Scene: Heaven
Music: Limp Biskit – “My Way” (Intro)
The sky suddenly turned darker and darker, and the water current under them started to turn from bad to worse. Crash, Travis and Chad stood aligned with pure anger settling in their hearts.
Tiko: What are you looking at?
Chad: Your appalling attitude to others. Just look at what you did to break this cat’s heart!
Tiko: Who cares? When I have ALL of you down then there’s no stopping me drowning the whole world too easily! Or if anyone else comes in my path they’d best retreat or die! Then I can start a new race!
Crash: That is sooooooooooo stupid, pussy!
Travis: Watch it with the puns!
Crash: Sorry…
Travis: No matter what… (takes the Stone of Courage from Carla’s necklace) …this battle will be the best way to remember her by.
As he faced Tiko, John and Frank grabbed her body and dragged it aside.
Tiko: OK. Show me what you’ve got!
Crash: Yeah Trav – send in your best shot!
Travis: It would be my pleasure!
[Music changes – Delerium feat. Sarah MaLachlan – “Silence” (Airscape remix, instrumental)]
Immediately he sends a thunder current through the air and towards Tiko, but he reflected it with the sceptre, absorbing the energy. Then Chad came towards him and charged into him… but he went straight through!
Chad: (blushes anime-style) Sorry – I forgot I was an angel for a second…
Cortex: (on the edge of the battlefield) It’s all right – there’s no need to panic.
Violet: (stands next to him) As long as you get all the prizes back we’ll be OK!
Crash then tried a spin attack right into his chest, but before he could touch him he fired the sceptre and sent him flying into the water. Luckily he managed to underwater swim back to the battle area.
Crash: (pops his head above the water) Don’t panic – I’m fine!
Travis: Wait a minute – I have an idea!
Crash: What?
Travis: (puts an electric current through the Stone of Courage) This will do perfect. Get ready to try again!
Crash: Right!
Travis: (lifts the Stone in the air) Send in the Gold Rush!
The Stone glowed a golden colour and then the cloud of magic went around Tiko, freezing him.
Travis: GO!
Crash rushed back towards him and stole the sceptre back off him, and then picked him up and chucked him into the water beneath, sinking to the bottom! After 30 seconds he was unfrozen and then there was no signal of him since.
(Music stops)
Travis: HE’S GONE!!!!!!!!
[Music restarts – Bon Jovi – “Thank You For Loving Me” (Chorus)]
Everyone cheered madly as Tiko has now been gone… possibly forever.
(Music turns instrumental)
Voice: And I’d like to thank you for your courage.
Travis: (turns around) CARLA!!!!!!
Cortex: (looks confused) But I… I thought… she was…
Frank: We managed to revive her while you guys were in battle.
Travis: Excellent!
Carla: Travis?
Travis: What?
Carla: I think you have finally found your guardian angel. ;) (goes up to him and kisses him on the lips)
They remained in that position for a few seconds. After that…
Crash: Stupid question time – how do we get back down?
John: Water always evaporates into the sky!
Then the sky lit a bright blue and the sun finally came out. The water level began to rise quickly and the marble pieces of the town hall magically came back together.
Frank: You guys stay on there. That would take you back to Australia.
Crash: Thanks!
Everyone hopped on, and that included Carla.
Violet: Carla? But I thought you were gonna fix your hut in the highlands…
Carla: Hey, remember what I told you earlier – bandicoots don’t belong in the West Indies. I’m coming back with you guys because of not only my natural habitat… (looks at Travis) …but also because of a new soul mate! (strokes him on the head)
Travis: Hey – don’t mention it!
Then the water level began to go down pretty rapidly.
Crash: Thanks for everything guys!
Chad: Any time! And Cortex…
Cortex: What now?
Chad: If you see my comrades again, be sure to tell me in any way you can!
The water level went further down and everyone looked up at the heavens with proud and triumphant smiles.
[Music changes – Apollo 440 – “Charlie’s Angels 2000” (Intro)]
But little did they know that there was a familiar black figure in the horizon swimming across the area…
ABOUT AN HOUR LATER, BACK AT AUSTRALIA
[Music changes – Atomic Kitten – “Eternal Flame” (Intro)]
The Winter Wonderland kept on roaming as it did when they left the island a day ago. And just near Skull Rock, Travis was putting the relics back in place.
Travis: That should do the trick.
(Music kicks into chorus)
He looks back around at the area and thought about what the others could be doing throughout the rest of the cold season.
(Scene changes to Boron’s bungalow)
Boron finally got back to hibernating, and his snores could be heard throughout the house…
(Scene changes to Crash’s home)
…The same thing happened to Crash…
(Scene changes to Cortex Castle)
…Cortex went back to work in his laboratory…
(Scene changes to Glacier Park)
…and Violet was back in patrol of the archipelago.
(Scene changes back to Skull Rock)
As Travis was about to leave the area Carla came from behind one of the bushes going towards him.
(Music turns instrumental)
Carla: So I heard that now that Tiko’s out of the way for a while I bet we can finally get to know each other.
Travis: You bet! How many days have we got left until Spring arrives?
Carla: Let’s see… (starts counting on her fingers) 2 months, 3 weeks, 3 days, 13 hours, 28 minutes and 17 seconds.
Travis: That’s plenty of time to get used to this lovely area! Come – we are just getting started!
And so both of them left the area. Over time they managed to get used to each other and their wolverine cub Tina managed to fit in well with her. And that was just the first week together… in the lands down under.
(Camera zooms away from the area and the credits run alongside Wheatus – “A Little Respect”. After five seconds the background fades to black.)
THE END
Credits (in order of appearance) –
Jake Lloyd as Private Boron
Marshall Mathers as Travis Tortoiseshell
David Spade as Crash Bandicoot and Nitrous Oxide
Clancy Brown as Dr. Neo Cortex
Janet Jackson as Princess Violet
LeAnn Rimes as Carla Bandicoot
Dana Gould as Tiko Cortex and the ghost of John Lennon
Toni Braxton as Deksta Cortex
Claire Danes as Hallie Cortex and the female Police officers
Neil Morrissey as Lio Cortex and the Robo Soldiers
Michael Connor as Komodo Moe
Carlos Alazroqui as Spyro the Dragon
Steven Williams as Snappy Gator
Michael Caine as the ghosts of Charles “Chad” Medulla IV and Frank Sinatra
Directed by: Bev Wooff (T-Rex)
*******************************
OUT-TAKES OF THE ARCHIVE
Violet: You are totally freaking me out. And besides, if she IS dead, she can’t even steal anything off us now that Tiko’s forces are down.
As she spoke a dark hand tried to reach for the sceptre but instead grabbed a cup of hot black coffee and spilt it onto herself.
Hallie: OW!!!!!!!!!!!! TOO HOT! TOO BLINKIN’ HOT!!!!!!!!!
Director: CUT! Whose idea was to bring their coffee onto the set?
Violet: I get thirsty too easily sir…
*******************************
A mobile phone started ringing with the ring tone of Shaggy – “It Wasn’t Me”. The noise awakened Cortex and within a few seconds grabbed it and answered it.
Cortex: (tiredly) Hello?
Voice: Dr. Neo Cortex?
Cortex: (sits up) Who is this?
Voice: Hi! It’s Regis Philbin from “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?”!
Cortex: (rolls his eyes) Hoo boy…
Regis: Now I’ve got your friend…
Immediately Cortex slammed the phone down and signed angrily.
Carla: (from the set beside the current one) How’s my timing?
Cortex: (angrily) Not too good.
*******************************
Deksta: OK Crash Bandicoot – You have a lot of explaining to do! (cracks her knuckles) OW!!!!!!!!!!! (rubs her hands up and down as she squeals)
Director: Let me guess – you broke your knuckles.
Deksta: (suffering pain) I think so…
*******************************
While they were dodging the shots each of them surrounded her in a circle that was two metres away from her. Then each of them drew out their weapons and fired. Crash’s bazooka rifle just crashed into her body without causing damage, Cortex’s laser fire was reflected back by the effects of the electricity, Travis’s thunder attack also got defused, but when Carla came to attack she lifted the Stone in the air, as she should do, but as she did so it accidentally disconnected from her necklace and flew right onto Deksta’s head, knocking her out. Then there were screams of laughter around the room.
Carla: Either this stone’s heavy, or Deksta’s a…
Everyone else: WUSS!
Crash: (picks up the Stone and placed four PlayStation memory cards in the other hand) And it’s even lighter than these four things!
The laughter went madder for no strange reason.
*******************************
Cortex’s left foot started to twitch slightly. Then it started moving more and more and the fireplace flame came back to life with him. As he managed to open both eyes the flames went up as far as it could go, but it accidentally went too far and started an instant fire!
Director: CUT! THE FIRE’S GONE BESERK!
The studio started to burn apart and everyone in it made a run out, screaming their heads off!
*******************************
Within the dark fading sky a figure in white shoes started running across the roof in a fast and atrocious manner – in fact, that atrocious part of the roof began to crumble and eventually broke a hole in it, causing him to hang on tight on the edge, screaming for help.
Tiko: (squeals, then speaks normally) This is why a low-budget production has so many out-takes – the materials aren’t that good to use. (screams again)
*******************************
Chad: (corners Frank’s king) Check!
Frank: Hmmm… I can break out of this one…
Suddenly his chair crumbles apart and he falls to the ground with a thud. Chad couldn’t help but laugh.
Frank: OW! MY BUTT!!!
Chad continued laughing.
Frank: (sighs and flies over to him in pain) Don’t you know a casualty when you see one?
Chad: Um… (a big sweat drop comes down his face) I just wanted a laugh…
Frank: And you call making my chair fragile a laugh, eh? (grabs Chad by the neck) I’ll show you a laugh…
*******************************
Travis: How many days have we got left until Spring arrives?
Carla: Let’s see… (starts counting on her fingers) 2 months, 5 weeks… no… there’s four weeks in a month… can we restart? I think I’ve messed up.
Director: Why?
Carla: Because I’m a poor timekeeper!
Director: No you’re not – I’ll give you some time to analyse your lines a bit more.
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