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STAR MAKER

Episode 18 – Heaven’s Gate

Scene: The entrance to the Realm of the Sky
Music: Anjelic – “Can’t Keep Me Silent” (Judge Jules mix, instrumental)

Our heroes have touched down onto the clouds and are about to pass through the gateway when…

(The voice sounded like Tracy from “Pokémon”)

Voice: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
Crash: (looks around) Who was that?
Teejay: I think I’ve found the answer…

Sooner enough an officer dressed in a long robe came running towards them.

Cortex: Officer, is there something wrong?
Officer: I believe there is, sir. A blue-haired man and his wife… or is it a girlfriend… have taken over the premises. We can now not allow people past these gates.
Monnika: You’re joking – I mean; we HAVE to wipe him out of this place before he takes over the world!
Officer: I hope you’re not going into any naughty deeds.
Ryane: Of course we won’t. Why do you say that?
Officer: A while ago a steroid tiger came here to fight him, but he still hasn’t returned.
Teejay: A steroid tiger?
Cortex: That’s Tiny. I have a bad feeling that something’s wrong with him.
Officer: Just to make sure you guys are being honest I want to check your identities.

Everyone hands in their ID cards into the officer, who examines them.

Officer: Let me check them for sure… The first card I got was from someone called Crash Bandicoot…
Crash: That’s me!
Officer: Wait a minute – didn’t you wipe out the Cerulean Wizard all that while ago?
Crash: Like, every time he ran into me he got a good thrashin’ here and there!
Officer: Hmmm… and you were made popular for that too… (looks at the next card) Monnika Mooski…
Monnika: It’s pronounced “Muski”, thank you very much.
Officer: It says here that you formerly worked for Santa Claus, and was one of the girls who stopped the same criminal from taking Christmas…
Monnika: That’s right!
Officer: OK… (looks at the next card) Ryane Platypus… that’s a very weird name…
Ryane: I was named after my brother’s idol Ryan Shamrock. That’s Ken’s sister.
Officer: Who’s Ken Shamrock?
Ryane: He WAS a famous wrestler, but now he left. Also, my brother knew him.
Officer: And you were a freedom fighter for Sector 6, but when your headquarters were destroyed Crash hired you for another job…
Ryane: Yep!
Officer: Let me see the next card… (looks at the next card) Oh no…
Teejay: Is there something wrong?
Officer: Well yes – there’s something wrong – your other members of the gang are relations of this criminal!
Crash: Believe us – they’re a big help!
Officer: Let’s see about that… (looks at one of the two remaining cards) Neo Cortex is free to go, because he hates his own brother… (puts his hands over his mouth and pauses) Was it something I said?
Cortex: No it’s not – He and my other siblings started turning against me when I was 11.
Officer: No wonder… (looks at the last card) And about your nephew…
Teejay: What’s the matter with me?
Officer: It said here that you lived in an orphanage since you were 4 because your mum was gone - but there’s no reason why – and your father was in prison because of the LA crisis. That was, until you grew a bit more and had hopes of killing him…
Teejay: It’s true… (sniffs) It all turned nasty since mum left my life…
Officer: And it looks like you guys are ready for business…
Crash: Of course we are – what do we look like, crash test dummies?
Officer: Never mind.

The gates to the Realm of the Sky opened.

Officer: Remember – your criminal is at the top of the Breeze Sanctuary. And also, if you see a steroid tiger, bring him back here because I need to speak to him.
Crash: OK, thanks!

Our heroes then went through the gates into the Realm…
****************************************
Episode 19 – Ginger Weaknesses

Scene: On top of the Breeze Sanctuary
Music: Alice Deejay – “The Lonely One” (Intro instrumental)

Deksta was seen walking towards Tiko in a normal fashion…

Tiko: How are the others?
Deksta: I’ve managed to remove the poison from Hallie’s blood.
Tiko: You have? That’s fantastic!
Deksta: But she has to stay out of battle for a couple of weeks.
Tiko: And what about Oxide? Is he OK?
Deksta: He’s been taken back to Gazmoxia for a rest for a month or so, just to drain the water from his body.
Tiko: (sighs) Looks like he’ll miss Easter…
Deksta: Yeah… but how about we give him an early present…

She turns to a post in the centre of the tower, where Tiny Tiger was tied up out cold.

Tiko: You mean we should eradicate him?
Deksta: Yep – Oxide needs all the beef he can get to stay fit, so this is the easiest way to make it through…

(Music stops)

Voice: And beef comes from cows, you cow!
Deksta: Grrr… WHO WAS THAT?

Monnika then jumped up on top of the Sanctuary and stuck her fists out.

Deksta: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Ice Princess… Give me your best shot!

(Music restarts – DJ Rolando – “Jaguar”)

Monnika then leapt right behind her and quickly fired an ice beam at her back, causing a white cloud swirl up around her very quickly. But a few seconds later the cloud faded away and her target was seen all in one piece!

Monnika: (gasps) Oh no… what have I done wrong?
Ryane: (jumps up onto the Sanctuary) You forgot to give her a feel of fire… (fires a fireball right at her)
Deksta: (deflects the attack) Fire will be more than a match for me!
Tiko: Keep going, sister!
Ryane: Man… I bet you need a little this…

She starts running at her highest speed around her target, who was just standing there. 30 seconds later she started to slow down, spin around and pant at the same time, and eventually she fainted.

Deksta: (laughs vilely) I guess your platypus friend is no match at all! (turns to Monnika) You are gonna be in one heck of a beating!
Monnika: Prove it!
Teejay: (jumps up onto the Sanctuary) Don’t give up! We still have more hopes here! (gets out his sword)
Deksta: Show me what you’ve got, you pre-teenage dirtbag…

Teejay then shot several beams all at once, but they all deflected off her, one of them striking him, another hitting Monnika and another one knocking Crash off the side of the sanctuary wall…

BACK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SANCTUARY

Cortex was seen trying to contact someone on a wristwatch…

Cortex: I said I’ve managed to find Tiny! Pinstripe, do you read me?
Pinstripe: (on the wristwatch) You managed… (fuzzes) …who? I can’t… (fuzzes} …message – we’re too… (fuzzes) …from each… (fuzzes)
Cortex: I give up. Come over to this realm at once! (turns off the wristwatch and sighs)

(Music stops)

SLAM!

Cortex: What on Earth… (faces the faller) Crash – you failed?

There was no response. He picked him up from the crater, laid him back down onto the floor and placed his ear to his heart…
Cortex: Heartbeat at 20 beats per minute… That’s impossible! (starts climbing up the Sanctuary wall)

(Music changes – Dusted – “Always Remember To Respect And Honour Your Mother”)

As he started climbing the wall he had high hopes in order to revive his comrades from the vicious attacks. The distance from the top decreased more and more and who knows exactly what surprises he may encounter…
********************************************
Episode 20 – From Under The Water

Scene: On top of the Breeze Sanctuary
Music: Caprice – “Once Around The Sun” (Instrumental)

Both Tiko and Deksta were seen on the Northern edge of the roof…

Deksta: Are you ready to send this plan into action?
Tiko: Of course – as soon as the lost Realm is unearthed again!
Deksta: Uh-huh, and how are you gonna do that?
Tiko: Easy… (shows her the Key of Virgo) As soon as I use this with the Powers of the Four Seasons, the Realm will be open and then they would be used for my next master plan…
Deksta: GO FOR IT!!!
Tiko: OK… (tosses all the relics in the air) REALM OF THE STARS, ARISE!!!!!!

[Music changes – Dream – “He Loves U Not” (Chorus)]

All the Powers swirled around the key at 300rpm and caused a lightning bolt to hit the ground and the sky colour to change from light to dark.

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACIFIC OCEAN

The waters started to shake and a few seconds later a floating island went out of the ocean depths and started rising high into the sky.

BACK AT THE SANCTUARY

Tiko: YES!!!!!! IT WORKED!!!!!!!!!
Deksta: Cool stuff! Now the world will be ours for sure!

(Music stops)

Cortex: (climbs onto the Sanctuary from the Southern side) STOP!!!

[Music restarts – Anjelic – “Can’t Keep Me Silent” (Judge Jules Mix, intro)]

Deksta: What the heck…
Tiko: I thought we laid the smacketh down on all of you!
Cortex: Listen bro – Your so-called “master plan” is getting way out of order, so I advise you to give the relics back… (gets out his laser and loads it) …or else!
Tiko: Ah, shaddup ya face – Come on Deksta – wipe the guts out of ‘im!
Deksta: (shakes like mad) I-I-I’m not so sure…
Tiko: WHAT?!? That’s not like you!
Deksta: Think about what he did to me in order to steal the Power of Fall…

(The screen shows some crucial highlights of the battle and when they were finished the screen restores itself back to its normal position.)

Cortex: I didn’t steal anything – we were SO desperate for it!
Deksta: You did too steal!
Tiko: Then again he has had his moments…

(The screen then showed each of these events one by one – Tiko “killing” his brother, the fall into the pit of oblivion and when he gained control of his mind.)

Tiko: Now take it easy Deksta – you can thrash him with your eyes closed! Er… Deksta?
Cortex: DID NOT!
Deksta: DID TOO!
Cortex: DID NOT!!!
Deksta: DID TOO!!!
Tiko: SIS!!!!!

(Music stops)

Deksta: (turns to Tiko) Sorry – I wasn’t paying attention.

[Music restarts – Gorrilaz – “Clint Eastwood” (Instrumental)]

Tiko: Well if you HAVE been paying attention you should know that more than a puny little argument will blow your target away – do what you usually do…
Deksta: But tell ‘im that he stole the…
Tiko: SILENCE!!!!!!! (echoes)
Deksta: Yipe…
Tiko: NOW GET ON WITH IT AND DON’T FAIL ME!!!! (puts on a jetpack and flies off to the Realm of the Stars)
Deksta: (laughs vilely) Looks like it’s Mr. That-N-On-My-Head-Stands-For-Numbohead and me – and it looks like your time will be gone on this planet! (laughs out loud)
Cortex: (leers and thinks) I need a strategy… last time I defeated her with Boron on my side… I wish he’s here…

The cold breeze start drifting between them as they start heading through a courageous battle that no one could forget…
*************************************************
Episode 21 – Double Assistance

Scene: The entrance to the Realm of the Sky
Music: Granddaddy – “He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s The Pilot” (Instrumental)

Pinstripe, Snappy, Dingodile and Rilla were having trouble trying to enter the realm…

Pinstripe: Come on, you HAVE to let us in – we’ve got friends in there who desperately need our help!
Officer: Sorry, but I need your ID cards.
Snappy: But we left them at home – come on, WE’RE IN SERIOUS PERIL HERE!!!!!!!
Officer: Like I said, no ID – no entrance.
Dingodile: So how come you let Tiko and Deksta in?
Officer: They’re a menace to society, and they were tougher than me! Too bad you guys can’t do it the same way…
Rilla: But we’re so desperate – I heard from Dr. Cortex that some of them guys have been seriously injured!
Officer: A likely story…

(Music changes – Public Domain – “Operation Blade”)

Pinstripe: (rushes up to the officer with his tommy gun) Let us in, or else you’ll be sorry…
Officer: That thing isn’t even loaded…

Pinstripe started shooting his tommy gun at the officer’s feet.

Snappy: (giggles) That’s what I call a dancing officer! (laughs out loud)
Rilla: (punches Snappy in the jaw) We don’t have time for gags – we need to rescue everyone!
Officer: (scared stiff) OK, OK, I’ll let you guys in – just don’t cause any trouble!
Dingodile: We won’t, myte!

The gates to the Realm were opened and the group dashed straight towards the Breeze Sanctuary…

MEANWHILE, AT THE SANCTUARY

[Music changes – Alice Deejay – “The Lonely One” (Instrumental)]

Deksta was seen having Cortex on the run, using a rifle gun to try and corner him… and she eventually did so…

Deksta: (laughs out loud) I bet you can’t kill me off now! (shoots out more rifles at Cortex)

He managed to block them off with his sword just in the nick of time.

Deksta: WHAT?!? (starts cursing at him) There’s then again another way… (starts shooting more rifles above, below and centre in different combinations)

Cortex managed to block them all off with great speed and strength. But as the number of rifles started to decrease, he started to decrease in those measures…

AT THE BASE OF THE SANCTUARY

The rifles were seen bouncing off and right at the group of four…

Pinstripe: DUCK!

Everyone but Snappy ducked.

Snappy: QUACK!
Dingodile: Get down… (pulls Snappy down)

The missiles just about missed them. Then more and more started to surround them.

Rilla: I’ve heard of “raining cats and dogs” but this is ridiculous!
Pinstripe: Ditto! Now listen – we need a way to climb up and evade the rifles.
Dingodile: Where’s a brolly when you need one?
Rilla: A brolly… (smiles) THAT’S IT!!!

BACK AT THE BATTLE

The rifles started decreasing further and further and the last missile was shot… right in the heart, causing him to fall off the wall and onto the cloudy floor beneath.

BACK AT THE BASE

Our group were trying to make a cover out of a could…

Rilla: Come on guys – we don’t have that much time!
Pinstripe: But wait…

(Music stops)

There was a silence drifting between them. Then there were no more rifles being fired.

Dingodile: Thank goodness that’s over…

Just then Cortex hit the floor unconscious.

Snappy: Er… (a big teardrop comes down his cheek) at least it ain’t rainin’ rifles anymore…
Pinstripe: There’s no time for pranks now – we need to sort ‘im out… (picks him out from the crater the thud caused, takes the rifle out and examines it) Hmmm… This seems more like a tranquilliser dart than a missile…
Snappy: A tranquilliser dart?

[Music changes – Eminem – “The Way I Am” (Instrumental)]

Rilla: They knock you out without causing harm to your body.
Snappy: Well how come the fall harmed him?
Dingodile: Er… Never mind.
Rilla: I’ll try and retrieve the others.
Dingodile: Careful – Deksta’s a hard nut!

(Chorus start and vocals come in)

Rilla started climbing up the wall and disappeared when he reached the top. There was a long silence, and then Deksta was sent flying over the horizon screaming.

(Music stops)

Pinstripe: HE DID IT!
Rilla: (pops his head over the wall) And look what she dropped! (shows the gang 6 revival potions)
Dingodile: Good work kid – send two of ‘em down here…
Snappy: Why two?
Dingodile: You forgot Crash… (points at his body)
Snappy: (in the style of Homer Simpson) D’OH!!!!

[Music restarts – Cleptomaniacs – “All I Do” (Instrumental)]

Rilla tossed down 2 revival potions at his crew and used the other 4 to revive Monnika, Teejay, Ryane and Tiny, who managed to break out of the ropes a few seconds after revival.

Monnika: Ah… (rubs her forehead in pain) What happened?
Rilla: It’s OK foxy – we had everything under control!
Ryane: Wait a minute – what are you doing here?
Rilla: We were told that you guys were in trouble, so we came to the rescue.
Teejay: No wonder…
Tiny: THANKS RILLA!!!!!! (hugs him tightly)
Rilla: (suffers pain) Get off me, you macho tiger…

There was no response. Then Ryane fired a fireball at him, separating the two.

Rilla: Good work! (climbs back down) How are the others?

(Music fades out)

Voice: We’re OK!

[Music restarts – Lonestar – “Amazed” (Instrumental)]

Just as Rilla climbed back down he saw Crash and Cortex revived and healthy.

Crash: Excellent work, Rilla – we would like to thank you!
Rilla: Thanks!
Teejay: (from the top of the sanctuary) Why’s the sky all black and what’s with the floating island thing?
Cortex: I should have told you this earlier, but Tiko has unearthed the Realm of the Stars.
Snappy: WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US EARLIER????
Cortex: Because I’ve been chased by my sister…
Snappy: (sighs) OK, I’ll accept the excuse.

[Music changes – Dario G – “Dream To Me” (Instrumental)]

Dingodile: And now that we heard it, you need to get a move on!
Crash: We’re goin’ in! (puts on a jetpack and flies off)
Cortex: Wish us luck! (gets on a jet board and flies off)
Snappy: Take care, amigos!
Dingodile: Wish ya luck, myte!
Rilla: Give us a C! Give us an O! Give us an R… and every other letter for everyone’s names.
Pinstripe: Skim the Cerulean Wizard alive! (echo on last word)
Tiny: TINY WANT YOU GUYS TO WIPE ‘IM OUT FOR GOOD!!!!!! (roars)

Ryane, Teejay and Monnika started coming after them and headed off towards the Realm of the Stars…
*******************************************
Episode 22 – The Immortal of Dreams

Scene: The entrance to the Realm of the Stars
Music: Anjelic – “Can’t Keep Me Silent” (Judge Jules mix, intro)

Our heroes have finally approached the Realm of the Stars in order to eliminate their target…

Crash: Looks like we’re here…
Cortex: Can you detect Tiko, Ryane?
Ryane: I think so… he’s somewhere near the top, but I can’t detect the exact coordinates.
Teejay: And neither can I!
Monnika: Keep yer cool guys – we’ll find him. (looks at the realm) Except that it’s a pretty big place…
Voice: Perhaps I can help…

[Music changes – Joe feat. Mystikal – “Stutter” (Intro)]

A beautiful woman came out from a nearby opening, causing Crash and Teejay to stare at her stupidly and the others looking at each other blankly. She started walking towards the gang with graceful steps…

(Music turns instrumental. The woman sounds like Madonna.)

Woman: I see that you’re having trouble trying to track down Tiko…
Ryane: That’s right, and we need an easy way to track him down…
Woman: I have managed to locate him at Libra Tower.
Monnika: Thanks, er… what’s your name?
Woman: I’m Virgo. Pleased to meet you.
Cortex: Same here. Let me introduce you to the crew…
Virgo: There’s no need to – Queen Cassiopeia told me about you wonderful warriors when the Cerulean Wizard came to take over the place.
Monnika: No wonder… and do you have directions to Libra Tower?
Virgo: I think I do… but it’s a long journey – it should take you a couple of weeks to get there.
Ryane: A COUPLE OF WEEKS?!? Oh man…
Virgo: But there then again could be another solution.
Cortex: Let me guess – a short cut that may take half the time, but Tiko would already have the world to his feet by then…
Virgo: It’s even better than that – I can give you immediate transportation there.
Monnika: What, with your huge wings and them scales you’re holding?
Virgo: You’re nearly there… (gets out a swirling ball of white gas)
Monnika: Quote me if I’m wrong, but is that the Power of Winter?
Virgo: No – it’s a transportation ball. (throws it onto the floor) In a few seconds it should…

[Music changes – Thrillseekers feat. Cheryl Dean – “Synthesesia (Fly Away)” (Instrumental)]

The ball of gas spaced out forming a violet vortex.

Monnika: It should what?
Ryane: The ball of gas already told you, dimwit!
Monnika: Oh… (slaps herself on the head)
Virgo: This vortex should take you to Libra Tower, where your predator is in wait…
Cortex: Split-second access to the man we all hate… excellent! (turns to Crash and Teejay) Come on guys – we don’t have much time!

Crash and Teejay were still starring at Virgo with love hearts in their eyes and their tongues sticking out.

Cortex: I said… (shakes them)
Crash: (dreamily) We know what you said – just leave us alone…
Cortex: (slaps them both across the face) Please – we desperately need your help, to retrieve the lost key for the girl!
Crash: (immediately) The girl?
Teejay: Anything for her!

Both of them jumped into the vortex very quickly.

Ryane: Wait for us – don’t leave us behind!

The rest of the crew head into the vortex and as soon as they all passed through Virgo then clicked her fingers, reforming it into its original state, placed it back in the scales and walked off.
*********************************************
Episode 23 – The Living Nightmare

Scene: Libra Tower, in the Realm of the Stars
Music: WWF – Kane’s Theme (“Out Of The Fire”)

(The camera is focused on a tablet on the floor on plan view and is closing in on it.)
Tiko: Soon, soon the Powers of the Four Seasons and the Key of Virgo will combine in order to form a dastardly power to trap the world in complete darkness. Then all the stupid citizens of this planet will fall under my power…

(The camera was tilted 90 degrees towards the sky i.e. so that it’s looking at the horizon)

The tablet on the floor started to glow a pleasant sky blue and within 3 seconds the silhouettes of our heroes also started glowing. When it stopped, they stepped onto the floor and reformed themselves.

Tiko: Oh no… not you guys… (grabs the relics) What do you think you guys are doing here?
Crash: You should learn better than to take a precious jewel from a girl! (starts speaking dizzily) Ah, Virgo… the woman of my dreams…
Teejay: (also speaks dizzily) Ditto…
Monnika: Snap out of it you two or else we’ll never get the Powers back!
Ryane: And besides, she can’t marry you because she’s immortal.
Crash: Who cares – I can admire her wonderful smile for months to come…
Cortex: (slaps them both) You could admire the wonderful world when Tiko takes over it if you don’t get focused!
Teejay: Sorry Uncle…
Tiko: I guess there’s no need to worry – I’m thinking that this time around I won’t lose to a scruffy-assed platypus, the not-so-abominable snow-girl, that puny little rat, a Nobody for a brother and… my own son…

Everyone started starring at him angrily.

Crash: Who really cares about your speeches – give back the relics, or else!
Tiko: A wise manoeuvre, but they’re not for sale, bandicoot! Now hear the screams, smell the anger, see the gore, touch the disgust and taste the pain… (laughs vilely)

[Music changes – Bomfunk MCs – “Uprocking Beats” (Instrumental)]

Ryane: THAT’S IT!!!!!!! (starts running towards Tiko)
Crash: Ryane, wait –

But it was too late. Ryane already jumped into the air and fired a fireball right at Tiko, who quickly fired a beam from his hands and struck the fireball down first and then electrocuting her.

Crash: (gasps) Aye caramba…
Cortex: (faintly) How did he do that?

Ryane touched the floor unconscious.

Tiko: (laughs vilely) I guess it’s the power of the relics that can be able to make me supreme!
Monnika: Ah, shaddup ya face, because you’re coming face to face with the toughest girl you’ll ever meet!
Crash: I thought that was Ryane…
Monnika: All right, all right, I’ll call it a tie! Please don’t let me lose concentration…

After a few seconds Monnika then fired an ice beam towards a post of the tower and then it curved and started heading behind Tiko, but the beam bounced off him and headed right towards her, knocking her out too.

Teejay: WHAT?!? Man… there goes girl power when you really need it…
Tiko: (laughs vilely) Never underestimate my wrath!
Teejay: Oh yeah, dad?

Tiko nodded.

Teejay: Well, let me show you how far my skill has developed in the space of 8 years!
Cortex: Be careful – your father’s bad to the bone!
Teejay: Uncle Neo, I already knew that thank you very much!
Cortex: Sorry…
Teejay: Now step aside, as Mr. Cyan Streaks gets rollin’ with fury…

He fires a laser beam that is 2 metres wide right at Tiko, causing an explosion that catches him in the blast…

(Music stops)

Crash: TEEJAY!!!!!

The smoke cleared up, and Tiko was left standing.

(Music restarts – Coldplay – “Trouble” (Silent Witness remix, intro instrumental)

Crash: (sighs angrily) This cannot be happening to me… (starts walking towards Tiko)
Cortex: (grabs Crash by the shoulder) Don’t even think about it!
Crash: Well why not, Mr. scientist smartypants?
Cortex: Remember what happened to the girls earlier…
Crash: Oh man… (looks back at Ryane, Monnika and Teejay) This doesn’t look good…but how can we defeat him?
Cortex: Remember – there always is a better plan.
Crash: Ah… I think I’ve got a strategy lined up here! Let’s show ‘im what we’ve got!

Both of them started heading towards Tiko leering at him…
**********************************
Episode 24 – One Step For Teamwork

Scene: Libra Tower, in the Realm of the Stars
Music: WWF – Triple H’s theme (“The Game”) (Instrumental)

What were 5 of our heroes was suddenly down to two thanks to the amazing power of the Cerulean Wizard with the addition of 5 stolen relics. Now it’s up to Crash and Cortex to stop him from enslaving the world in darkness forever, but keeping him at bay won’t be this easy…

Tiko: (laughs vilely) You can never thrash me now!
Crash: Ah… (turns to Cortex) Do you have any wild ideas? Oh, and don’t say, “RUN!” please – if we chicken out then we’re mince meat!
Cortex: I know… I know I’ve got a big head for ideas, but it’s not really focused on my brother…
Crash: Come on – think back to your nightmare – what did he do to you?
Cortex: This may take a while…
Crash: Please – this is for the fate of the world! I’m counting on you…
Cortex: I think… I think I’ve got it…

(The following events in the nightmare were shown on screen one by one – the Saiyan charge, the blockage of all the laser shots and the moment when he nearly got cut in half.)

Crash: Well? What did you find?
Cortex: He fought like some sort of superhuman ninja…
Crash: A superhuman ninja? In what way?
Cortex: He charged at me in the air, can block everyone’s shots and can also…
Crash: Ah, you mean a Saiyan…
Cortex: A what?
Crash: A Saiyan – you know, from Dragonball Z – the TV show?
Cortex: Never heard of it.
Crash: Well I have, so I can be a bit of help.

Both of them huddled around and started whispering.

Tiko: Come on, make a move – I haven’t got all day!

Both of them got out of the huddle.

Tiko: Ah, so what do you wanna do – live or let die?
Cortex: Give me your best shot!

(Music changes – Airheadz – “Stanley”)

Tiko charged right at him a few inches off the ground and sent him flying towards the balcony…

Crash: HANG IN THERE!!!!!! (starts running towards him)

Crash finally reached the balcony and grabbed his comrade’s hand just before he fell a few thousand feet in the air…

Crash: I didn’t tell you to waste his energy THAT way!
Cortex: But I thought that being an easy prey would…
Crash: (pulls him up) Next time you have to be a bit more careful! Remember – only attack him when… (whispers in his ear)
Cortex: Now I understand…

But just before he was about to finish, Tiko started firing more beams at them and they started dashing away from them as fast as they could. Every minute passed the beams became thinner and thinner, until eventually he can’t fire anything at all.

Tiko: WHAT?!? But I thought this power was meant to last…
Crash: Yeah, but you now need a lot of recharging! So taste this! (loads his bazooka)

Just after he spoke, Cortex loaded his laser and they both fired their enemy at the same time, sending him flying off the tower dropping the relics.

(Music stops)

Tiko: HEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!! YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF ME… (fades)
Crash and Cortex: (look at each other) Good timing! (wink at each other)

Then the relics came back into the tower and onto the tablet where they came in. Then the others started to revive themselves pretty quickly.

Ryane: Man… what happened?
Monnika: Where’s Tiko?
Teejay: And where are the relics?
Crash: Don’t worry – Tiko’s cooled down for a while and the relics are safe with us! Right?
Cortex: I’m not sure…
Crash: What do you mean you’re not sure? We defeated him fair and…

Cortex pointed at the tablet.

Crash: I don’t get… (looks at the tablet and gasps)

The relics caused the tablet to glow and slide to the East side. Then a dark cloud came from inside the hole and started to head into the air. Everyone there started looking at it, looking scared…
********************************************
Episode 25 – The Madness of the Monster

Scene: Libra Tower, in the Realm of the Stars
Music: Ocean Colour Scene – “The Riverboat Song” (Intro)

The black cloud from under the tablet has escaped into the Realm of the Stars…

Crash: This isn’t too good…
Cortex: Well think of it this way – at least we don’t have to fight Tiko with Saiyan powers all over again…
Crash: Good point.

Just then Virgo was teleported into the scene.

Virgo: What’s been going on?
Teejay: We have some good news and some bad news.
Ryane: We defeated Tiko, but…
Monnika: The relics have unlocked this dark cloud…
Virgo: Wait a minute – that’s no cloud – that’s the dark spirit of Cetus the Sea Monster!
Crash: But if it’s a sea monster, then how come there’s no water?
Cortex: It’s a spirit, and spirits don’t need water!
Crash: Oh yeah… (slaps himself)
Virgo: This is it – the fate of the world has gone far below its reaches…
Teejay: Don’t worry – we’ll try and catch it!
Virgo: But Cetus was the reason why the Realm of the Stars was lost in the first place. Now that it’s awoken from its cell, who knows what sort of damage it may cause…
Monnika: But who trapped him in the first place?
Ryane: I heard that a prince called Perseus defeated him with the head of Medusa, turning him to stone.
Virgo: She’s right! After that the kingdom fell into the ocean never to be seen again… until now.
Monnika: How did you know that?
Ryane: I’ve a thing for astronomy – I study the stars every night.
Virgo: Then you girls should look for the head of Medusa while we try and slay the monster another way!
Monnika: We’re goin’ in!

Both girls were teleported out of the tower.

Virgo: OK, so do you guys have any ideas?

There was a whistle in the distance.

Crash: Who was… (gasps)

A bi-plane was coming towards the tower, holding Snappy, Coco, Boron and Tiny.

Virgo: Looks like you guys have got assistance…

The plane landed onto the floor and the group of four stepped out.

Crash: Guys… how did you know that we were in trouble?
Coco: When I saw the sky turn dark at 3 in the afternoon followed by a strange black cloud heading into the atmosphere we got here as fast as we could. Where’s the problem?

Teejay pointed at the spirit.
Snappy: Wait a mo – he’s a serpent and how can he live without water?
Cortex: (sighs angrily) I said it once and I’ll say it again… HE’S A SPIRIT!!!!!! (kicks Snappy where it hurts)

Snappy screamed with pain and fell on his belly. The others had a massive teardrop down their cheeks.

Coco: I’ve got an idea in order to weaken it down.
Snappy: Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters?
Coco: No – huddle up and you’ll see…

The group of 8 huddled up and started whispering.
*********************************************
Episode 26 – Stone Cold

Scene: The depths of the Realm of the Stars
Music: Anjelic – “Can’t Keep Me Silent” (Judge Jules mix, instrumental)

Ryane and Monnika were seen in these depths looking for Medusa’s head…

Monnika: But this place seems creepy – should we try searching elsewhere?
Ryane: Don’t be a soppy thing, Monique – we need to check everywhere here in order to find it!
Monnika: But what if it’s not here?
Ryane: Listen kid – the head of Medusa was the original tool for Cetus’s demise. If we can find it we could be able to turn it into stone!
Monnika: But what if it turns US to stone instead?
Ryane: Whatever you do, don’t look directly at it…

(Music stops suddenly)

But just before Ryane could say anything else, she became stone.

Monnika: (gasps) RAZ!!!!! (rushes up to her breathing rapidly and speaking with a croaky, worried voice) Don’t tell me that Medusa caught you out first…

(There was a voice that sounded like a witch)

Voice: (laughs vilely) You will never see your friend again!
Monnika: Look – if YOU’RE the one who turned my friend to stone you’re gonna pay for it!

From out of the shadows came a batch of snakes.

Monnika: Don’t tell me… she’s alive…

(Music changes – Citizen Kane – “The Journey”)

The person with the voice stepped out of the darkness revealing herself as Medusa.

Monnika: (never looking at her in the eyes) What do you want with us?
Medusa: Those relics have finally resurrected me from my millennia sleep, and now I’m bound to get revenge on the slayers! (tries to look at her in the eyes) I bet it was YOU, wasn’t it fox?
Monnika: I said it once and I’ll say it again… I’M A VIXEN, YOU BUGGER!!!!!!!!
Medusa: You’ve got a point there, but I’m not a bugger… I’m a snaker!

Just then some snakes came out from her hair and started chasing her along the dark corridors. It happened for quite a while but a few minutes later she was eventually cornered.

Monnika: Ewww… stay away from me, you pests!

The snakes continued hissing at her. Then Medusa came in from behind.

Medusa: What’s the matter? Are you scared of my precious little pets? You don’t even have the guts for them?
Monnika: I can handle it, you pest!
Medusa: (laughs vilely) Prove it! I bet you still can’t defeat my precious serpent friends!

Monnika had her eyes tightly closed and she shot a powerful laser beam towards the snakes, but was off target. She tried moving her palms to all sorts of positions but she still misses. The beam started to go smaller as the seconds passed by but when it finally faded out she remained in her position.

(Music stops)

Then there was a silence. She opened her eyes and she saw no snakes whatsoever on the floor. Then she started looking up and she managed to see Medusa frozen solid, but not in the eye.

(Music changes – Artful Dodger – “Think About Me” (Intro instrumental)

Monnika: Excellent! (rushes up to her still without eye contact) This will be a perfect prize to bag the serpent! But then again… (turns to Ryane, who is still in stone) Come on, I hope you can hear me…

There was no reaction.

Monnika: (cries her eyes out) Come on Ryane – Medusa’s gone… why aren’t you coming back?

There was still no reaction and this could be where the story ends for Ryane Platypus – in stone.
***********************************
Episode 27 – Out From The Boulder

Scene: The depths of the Realm of the Stars
Music: Stereophonics – “Mr. Writer” (Instrumental and no percussion)

Monnika was seen weeping over Ryane, who now seemed to be encased in stone forever…

Monnika: (sobbing) Please Ryane – do come back… we’ll miss you so much… (sniffs) You were a big help from day 1 and we would never forget your amazing courage… (cries out) Where would we be without you? (continues crying)

Tears started dripping down her cheeks onto the stone and seeped through it. Deep in the cracks the stone was starting to break apart. Then the crack got bigger and bigger until it cracked in half, causing Monnika to fall into it and break it up even further.

Monnika: (sniffs and speaks sadly) I guess she’ll never come back… (sobs)
Voice: What’s the matter?
Monnika: (sniffs and sobs) She’s gone… and I’ll never see her again…
Voice: Don’t cry – I’ll try and make you happy again.
Monnika: (sobs) But chances are you won’t be as good as Ryane…
Voice: That’s because…

[Music changes – Vengaboys – “Forever As One” (Intro)]

The person with the voice stepped out of the shadows. Monnika turned to her with tears in her eyes and in a split second, although she still was getting tears down her eyes, her frown turned into a smile.

Monnika: (screams happily) YOU’RE BACK!!!!!!!

(Chorus starts)

The person’s face was now visible – Ryane is here well and healthy! Monnika started rushing up to her still with tears and – wait for it – hugs her!

(Music turns instrumental)

Monnika: (cries with happiness) I’m so glad you’re back…
Ryane: Thanks!
Monnika: (speaks more calmly but with a bit more crying) How did you escape?
Ryane: It was the crack. I managed to slip out just in the nick of time. Now I have a question for you - how DID I get turned into stone anyway?
Monnika: (starts speaking normally but still gets tears) Close your eyes – QUICK!!!

Ryane closed her eyes tightly as Monnika headed towards where she dropped Medusa’s head, still not making eye contact with it. She picked it up and placed it behind her back.

Monnika: Have I got a surprise for you! Open them…

Ryane opened her eyes carefully. Then Monnika showed her the backside of Medusa’s head holding it on her shoulder.

Ryane: Excellent work! Now we can go on to casting the slippery serpent to stone! :)
Monnika: Yeah, but how do we get outta here?
Ryane: Easy stuff – just a quick transportation… (presses a button on her wristwatch)

They waited, but nothing happened.

Monnika: Is there… something wrong?
Ryane: (checks the battery port) I think the battery’s dead…
Monnika: Don’t worry – we should have a better plan.
Ryane: Exactly, and we should fly there!

Both of them started flying towards Libra Tower…

Monnika: I sure hope the sea monster doesn’t catch us…
*********************************************
Episode 28 – The Last Call

Scene: Libra Tower, in the Realm of the Stars
Music: Chocolate Puma – “I Wanna Be U”

Our heroes were seen tackling the slippery sea serpent Cetus. Crash with his bazooka and on a jetpack, Cortex with a laser and on a jet board, Teejay with his sword flying normally and Virgo flying with a crossbow in her hand were taking it down from above, Coco with an ice gun, Boron with a slingshot and Tiny with a medieval cannon tied on his back (!) were attacking it from below and Snappy was caught in the teeth of the monster…

(Music turns instrumental)

Coco: Don’t worry Snappy – we’ll get you down!
Snappy: No need to – I love hanging out!
Cortex: (sighs and looks up) When do I…
Crash: LOOK OUT!!!!!!!
Cortex: What the… (screams)

He quickly twisted the board 180 degrees and hovered away from the serpent’s mouth.

Virgo: Phew… That was close, comrade!

But just then the beast dropped Snappy and started charging towards Coco and her ground level crew.

Tiny: This no look good…

Boron howled with fright.

Coco: Calm down guys – we’ll get out, somehow…

Just then there was a shot of ice followed by a fireball… Ryane and Monnika came to the rescue!

Snappy: Woah… I’m glad you guys were here!
Ryane: Yeah, but I’ve a warning – close your eyes tightly.

Everyone on ground level closed their eyes tightly.

Monnika: And those in the air… (revealed the backside of Medusa’s head) Don’t look in her eyes, OK?
Teejay: We’ll try not to!

Both girls started flying towards the serpent.

Ryane: Hey dumbo!

Cetus started growling.

Ryane: Try me out for size!

It then started chasing Ryane across the tower through the air, leaving Monnika prepared with the head. A few minutes later they came flying back inside the tower and then the monster’s eyes fixed on her. She quickly drew out the head as it came to eat her…

(The screen fades white and the music stops. Then a few seconds later the scene changes into a cave of some kind.)

Monnika still had her eyes closed but then she opened them carefully. She looked around and saw herself in what seems like a pit in a cave. Then she climbed up and headed towards the exit. As she stepped outside she saw herself on Libra Tower…

(Camera zooms out to see what the “cave” really was)

Monnika: (gasps) I DID IT! I DID IT!!!!!!!
Ryane: Hey, way to go Monnika – the beast is stone!

[Music restarts – Bon Jovi – “Thank You For Loving Me” (Chorus)]

Everyone starts cheering as Monnika chucked the head inside the beast’s mouth and Virgo and Teejay started pushing it back down the hole where it came out from, followed by sealing it quickly with the transportation tablet.

(Vocals finish)

Virgo: You did good work, Ms. Muski…
Monnika: Don’t thank me – Thank Crash and Cortex for what they made me today!

Virgo smiled, looked at them and stuck her left thumb up gently.

(Music stops. Screen fades black and 2 seconds later the scene changes to the gardens of Cortex Castle.)

Crash, Cortex and Teejay were seen on what looks like a park bench…

Teejay: I must confess to you guys… that my work is done here.
Crash: We feel so sorry for you… I just wish you could stay.
Teejay: Sorry, but the city needs me.
Crash: What city?
Teejay: The city of Melbourne, just off the coast of the main land. I’m a member of staff at an orphanage, and the people need me a lot more than you need me.
Cortex: We’ll… miss you…

There was a silence and a gust of wind.

Cortex: But you could still be able to see us sometime.
Crash: Yeah! (leans back and closes his eyes) You can be a great help in stopping the evil Cerulean Wizard, just like you did before!

[Music restarts – Coldplay – “Trouble” (Intro)]

Teejay: I know, but chances are that I may never come here again.

Crash and Cortex looked at him in shock.

Teejay: Since I was 4 I was at that orphanage every now and again.
Cortex: What happened to your parents?
Teejay: Nearly a year before I was sent there my dad was serving a prison sentence. My mum died of breast cancer two days before I was transmitted from A to B. Sometimes I didn’t like it, which is why I escaped a few times… and was sent back. But now I’ve learnt that the city is one busy place, and you won’t miss a thing in it.
Cortex: Looks like… this is goodbye…

They shake hands.

(Music stops)

Crash: Don’t forget – I still have a good feeling that you will be back!
Teejay: You bet! (winks)
Cortex: Good luck, Teejay – I won’t forget your gratitude.
Crash: Ditto!

Teejay started flying north towards the mainland as all the citizens on the island gave him farewells. He gave a single wave for everyone and headed towards the northern horizon.

(Credits run alongside Kids from Fame – “Starmaker”)

THE END

Credits (in order of appearance) –

Clancy Brown as Dr. Neo Cortex and Polar
Dana Gould as Tiko Cortex and the security guard
Jake Lloyd as Private Boron and Midget Gator
David Spade as Crash Bandicoot, Teejay Cortex and Nitros Oxide
Steven Williams as Snappy Gator
Christina Aguilera as Ryane Platypus
Claire Danes as Monnika Muski and Hallie Cortex
Neil Morrissey as Lio Cortex
Brendan Fraser as Rilla Roo
Brendan O’ Brian as Pinstripe and Tiny Tiger
Michael Connor as the Komodo Brothers
William Hootkins as Dingodile
Toni Braxton as Deksta Cortex
Vicki Winters as Coco Bandicoot
Scott Chisholm as Pura
Madonna as Virgo and Medusa

Directed by: Bev Wooff (T-Rex)
**************************
OUT-TAKES OF THE SUBDIVISION

Crash: Like, every time he ran into me he got a good thrashin’ here and there!
Officer: Hmmm… and you were made popular for that too… (looks at the next card) Monnika Mooski…
Monnika: It’s pronounced “Muski”, thank you very much.
Voice: BUT YOU ARE A COW, YOU COW!!!!!!
Monnika: (sighs angrily) WHO SAID THAT?

Homer Simpson came up on stage.

Homer: I did, and this is for keeping me away from the biggest candy stick in the world! (hits her on the head with a shovel) How do you feel about that?
Crash: You had no right to knock her unconscious. And besides, she didn’t do it!
Homer: D’OH!
**************************
Deksta: (laughs vilely) I guess your platypus friend is no match at all! (turns to Monnika) You are gonna be in one heck of a beating!
Monnika: Prove it!
Teejay: (jumps up onto the Sanctuary) Don’t give up! We still have more hopes here! (gets out his sword)
Deksta: Show me what you’ve got, you pre-teenage dirtbag…

Some very loud music was put on in the far end of the room – Wheatus – “Teenage Dirtbag”

Deksta: WHO DID THAT???
Snappy: You said the words “teenage” and “dirtbag”, so I guess now’s the time to have a little fun…
Deksta: HAVE IT ELSEWHERE!!!!!
Snappy: But it’s the weekend…
Deksta: (rushes up to the stereo and turns it off) I don’t care… NOW OUT!!!

The shout chased Snappy out of the studio.
**************************
Deksta: What the heck…
Tiko: I thought we laid the smacketh down on all of you!
Voice: And you’ll be getting the smacketh down because you are puny copycats!
Tiko: Who said that?

The Rock came into the studio with a fire extinguisher.

The Rock: The Rock can hear everyone around here, and you have copied The Rock’s trademark line!

Snappy: (from the other side of the studio) I thought it was If You Smell-l-l-l-l-l-l-l…
The Rock: Never upset The Rock, or else you’ll be laid the smacketh down! Now… where was I? Ah… (drops the fire extinguisher and performs The Rock Bottom on Tiko and Deksta)
Cortex: (looks blankly) I think I should get out as the going gets tough… (heads offstage)
**************************
The rifles were seen bouncing off and right at the group of four…

Pinstripe: DUCK!

Everyone but Snappy ducked. Instead he got out a horn and squeezed it several times. This caused everyone on stage to laugh.

Director: CUT!
Snappy: But I thought he said “goose”…
**************************
Virgo: But there then again could be another solution.
Cortex: Let me guess – a short cut that may take half the time, but Tiko would already have the world to his feet by then…
Virgo: It’s even better than that – I can give you immediate transportation there.
Monnika: What, with your huge wings and them scales you’re holding?
Virgo: You’re nearly there… (gets out a swirling ball of something other than white gas) Hang on – this isn’t a swirling ball of gas – it’s a rotten spud!
Rest of the cast: Ewww!!!
Virgo: (chucks the spud onto the ground) I’m not touching it… (dashes offstage)
Director: OK, who put the spud in place of the vortex ball?
Snappy: WANKER!!!!
Director: SNAPPY!!!!!!
Snappy: Uh-oh…
Director: GET BACK HERE, YOU STUPID GATOR…

The shout chased Snappy out of the studio. Again.
**************************
Tiko: I guess there’s no need to worry – I’m thinking that this time around I won’t lose to a scruffy-assed platypus, the not-so-abominable snow-girl, that puny little rat, a Nobody for a brother and… er… what did I describe Teejay as again?
Teejay: Your own son! (sighs angrily) This is the 20th take and you’ll never get it right…
Director: Calm down – things like this take practice, and he still needs to learn all of them…
Teejay: Yeah, but we spent ages working on this one little scene… can’t we do something else?
Rest of the cast: NO!

Teejay groaned.
************************** Crash: Ah… (turns to Cortex) Do you have any wild ideas? Oh, and don’t say, “RUN!” please…

Sooner enough, there was a bang of lightning from outside the studio, causing the set to cave in.

Everyone on the set dashed off it just before the roof of the “Tower” fell onto the floor.
**************************
Monnika: The relics have unlocked this dark cloud…
Virgo: Wait a minute – that’s no cloud – that’s the dark spirit of Cetus the Sea Monster!
Crash: But if it’s a sea monster, then how come there’s no water?

Some water fell from the ceiling.

Crash: Er… there is now!
Cortex: That wasn’t supposed to happen…
Director: Sorry – that must have come from the leaking roof…

The rest of the cast looked up at the ceiling and they see some holes in it from the storm and some rain leaked through them.
**************************
Medusa: Those relics have finally resurrected me from my millennia sleep, and now I’m bound to get revenge on the slayers! (tries to look at her in the eyes) I bet it was YOU, wasn’t it fox?
Monnika: I said it once and I’ll say it again… I’M A VIXEN, YOU… (starts coughing)
Director: What’s the matter?
Monnika: (continues coughing) OK, I confess… (wheezes) I came to work with a sore throat.
Director: Don’t worry – we have everything covered.
Monnika: (faintly and speaks with a croaky voice) But what about the deadlines?
Director: Calm down – we’ll just delay the story for a while. Don't panic...
**************************
Monnika: Is there… something wrong?
Ryane: (checks the “battery port”) I think the…

There was a fizz from the wristwatch.

Ryane: Whoa… what the heck… (looks back at the wristwatch) Geez – I went into the circuit by mistake…
Director: OK, looks like it’s the mechanic’s job…
Ryane: But it’s not MY fault both ports look identical...
**************************
Crash: LOOK OUT!!!!!!!
Cortex: What the… (screams)

He quickly twisted the board 180 degrees and hovered away from the serpent’s mouth, falling off it in the process.

Director: CUT!
Snappy: (drops from Cetus’s mouth) Neo dude, are you OK?
Cortex: (suffering pain) Aside from a broken arm…
Snappy: A BROKEN ARM?!?
Boron: DUH-DUUH-DUUUUUUUUH!!!!!!
Snappy: You got that right kid – we need to stop production on that scene for a while, while we can work on what we can.

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