Game Reports
Team APS vs. Team Yipanzo
Controversy of Team APS vs. Team SEZ
Powerhouse members of Team APS vs. Team CHAT
Team APS vs. Team ICS
Performance of The Baron in ICS game
Team NT folds under pressure
Team APS vs. Team TAZ
Team APS vs. Team Yipanzo
Team APS vs. Team SEZ
Recovered document sheds new light on pin monkey scandal.
Team SEZ member "JON" condemns actions of pin monkey
In a shocking development in the ongoing pin monkey scandal, Team SEZ frontman "JON" has written a letter to scandals@apsbowling.com condemning the actions of the pin monkey, and Bathurst Bowlerama as a whole. Below is an excerpt obtained by APS Bowling:
It greatly dipleases me to inform you that the bowling scandal that has recently taken place is part of a much bigger problem. It seems to be that Bowlerama has served a great injustice to the bowling society and our great country of Canada. I suggest you research the event in question so that the perpatrators may be put to their well deserved justice. [...] I would like to see team SEZ [somehow defeat Team APS through the use of a miracle] and show to the world the greatness of Team SEZ and their true magnificance and beauty!
Team APS was not available for comment, but Team APS frontman Alex "The Rocket" Minkin has been quoted as saying that the recent e-mail was "A promising development."
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Powerhouse members of Team APS vs. Team CHAT
Friday afternoon. Baturst Bowlerama. 10 ping wing. Lanes 9 and 10. The air was filled with a blend of musk and President's Choice brand dissinfectant. This was the crime scene. What was the crime, you may ask? Team APS robbed team CHAT. Of their victory, of their winning streak, and of their moral dignity. Normally this would not be considered a crime, considering that Team APS is the favourite going into any game and situation, due to their illusive winning streak, adaptiveness, and supirior genetic makeup. This was considered a crime due to the inevitable absence of Team APS captain Aaron "The Baron" Blatt. Surprisingly, the game was played out by only JIM and The Rocket. The powerhouse members of Team APS were nervous and confident at the same time. "If need be, I (Team APS frontman) could assume the role of the captain in a crucial point of the game," said a shaky Rocket with a reasuring look in his eye, before the game began. " But hopefully that won't have to happen. The Baron is the captain, and I am not one to challenge his high powered position." But the game transpired, and in the holiday spirits, the game will go down in history, just like Rudolf the Red Nosed Raindeer. Team CHAT started out the game with suprising and unexpected consistency. However, the two remaining powerhouse members of Team APS were not ready to give up. They fought the violent current of Cumminuty Hebrew Accadamy of Toronto, and managed to be tied neck in neck throughout the entire game, up until the last frame. With rotating turns on the very last round, JIM went up to bat against Team CHAT representative Aaron "Snake" Silver. JIM bowled an amazing round, securing the victory for Powerhouse members of Team APS even before CHAT had bowled their last shot. But JIM doesn't celebrate before the referee officially concludes the game and raises the hand of the winner. JIM continued his 10th frame, and finished the game for the Powerhouse Members of Team APS with a new personal best score. This was a hearbraking, bloodtrenching, heartstopping game. We're not joking, spectator Stephen "The Enforcer" Litvak tragically passed away during the 5th frame of the night, due to overexcitment, lack of personal hygene, and spontanious combunstion. But the game must go on. 3 more post-victory excibition games were played, and both teams agreed that they were all great games. Team CHAT demanded and begged a rematch against the full Team APS. A local reporter from CBC Newsnet quoted Powerhouse member of Team APS, Aaron "JIM" Kramer as saying, "A rematch is not something that can be granted by one member of the team. If destiny pervailes, and our paths cross again in the bowling alley, then we shall know that a rematch is inevitable." Team CHAT walked away confused, and defeated. The Powerhouse Members of Team APS walked away victoriously, with their heads held high, awaiting the next opposition to meet the wrath of Team APS.
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Team APS vs. Team ICS
Team APS continued its hot streak in its game against ICS. On Friday, November 15, 2002, snow pored down on the T-Dot region to make for a spectacular setting for a spectacular bowling match. The three members of Team APS walked through the powdered streets of upper midtown to make their way to one of their most crucial bowling matches of the season: Team APS vs. Team ICS. As JIM, The Baron, and The Rocket entered the bowling alley, they found two members of team ICS; ROB and IAN. However, Team ICS frontman Anton was not there. Although Anton had almost fully recovered mentally after bolting from the scheduled game of Team APS vs. Team NT, the subway that was supposed to transport him got extremely scared, and refused to take him to the bowling match. To quote the subway, "I didn't want to lead Anton to complete destruction." Because of this, Anton showed up over 50 minutes late. The two teams decided to allow the two remaining members of Team ICS to bowl for Anton during his absence. What Team APS did not realize, however was that IAN and ROB had become so amazing at bowling while waiting for Anton, that when they bowled for Anton, Anton received a higher score than anyone else in the entire game. Team APS gives full credit to those two members of Team ICS, as they displayed an amazing ability to bowl, usually only exhibited by team APS. However, through special teamwork, and The Baron making crucial shots, (read a full report of the performance of The Baron here,) team APS was able to narrowly defeat team ICS by only two points. After this intense bowing match, members of the two teams decided to settle their differences by attending a party afterwards. To view a picture story report of the game and the aftermath, click here. Stay tuned for more results when Team APS continues its dominance over the bowling world.
Team ICS
Team APS in preparation for game against Team ICS
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Performance of The Baron in ICS match
Team APS received a scare the other day when Team ICS posed a unique challenge. Inspired by their less than spiffy bowling shirts, Team ICS displayed a cocky, brash young attitude as they waddled into the alley-- late, as expected. These shirts provided them with the confidence to dare challenge Team APS, and it worked. Until The Baron took over. At the bottom of the tenth frame, with Team APS down by over 30, all hopes of a Team APS victory rested on the Baron's sturdy shoulder's. The Baron said afterwards, "I knew I was in a bit of a slump, but I knew I had to do something for Team APS. As the captain it is my duty to lift our spirits when things look grim, so I did that the only way I know how- through bowling." The Baron, who did admit he was having an off game, came up to the stripes and put on one of the most clutch performances in the history of bowling. A local reporter at the scene claimed, "I was reminded of the time Michael Jordan pushed the Bulls to a sixth championship with his now famous 'final shot'." So mustering up all his courage, the Baron gracefully rolled his first ball of the final frame of the match down the lane. It seemed to roll in slow motion as the worn and bruised players on the sidelines cheered and jeered. Then, as if time froze at that very moment, the ball struck the middle pin with a fury which caused it to knock over all the other pins. "A strike!", exclaimed Alex Minkin, with the wide-eyed enthusiasm not unlike that of a 7 year old boy. Then the Baron stepped up again. His team needed him more than ever now and he knew it. No one really knows how he did it, but the Baron somehow, someway was able to get that ball to go down that lane in such a way that ended up knocking down all the pins. A correspondent for CBC's "The National" later dubbed it "The Shot Heard "Round The World". The crowd went nuts as everyone in the alley realized they were witnessing something special. Indeed, it was The Baron with his certain squeegee kid "je ne said quoi". What happened next is in the history books, as Team APS handily defeated Team ICS as expected, but at that moment, at the Bathurst Bowleramma, something special happened. The Baron happened.
The Baron is elated after rolling "The Shot Heard 'Round The World".
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Team NT folds under pressure
Flash freeze to Saturday November 2nd, 2002. It was a crisp autumn day in the T-dot region. The angry clouds came in early to cover an optimistic sun. However, the sounds of birds chirping and children playing were overshadowed by the screams and fanatical behavior of team NT, and the bloodcurling screams coming from the slaughterhouse next door. Anton and Sharmarke (pictured below) entered the bowling alley with open arms and an open mind. However, as Team APS revealed their spiffy APS bowling shirts (as they always do -- at the same time), Team NT bolted out of the alley kicking and screaming. Apparently the site of three extremely good looking men unvailing spiffy bowling shirts is too much for the common man. Please take a moment to view the pictures below, but do not sympathize for Team NT. They are fu**ing trailer park trash can't stand to see well groomed individuals such as team APS, that are not inbred, and are always in tip-top shape.
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Team APS vs. Team TAZ
Team APS started off their season on a strong note with a game against team TAZ. 
Team TAZ consisted of Tura, Adam and Zach. Since team TAZ was defeated so badly, we do not want to say their last names since they would then most likely be heckled for years. I mean, we thought we'd seen bad, but this was putrid. Welcome to LoserVille, population: Team TAZ. To quote team APS member The Baron, "THEY SUCKED!!!" In the first game, team APS defeated team TAZ with a score of 256. 
We will not even mention team TAZ's score, since it was so low. Since team APS had defeated team TAZ so quickly, there was a second, friendly exibition game. Lucky for them, Zach had to leave, but unfortunately for them, the only person availabe to step in was 3 foot tall Stephen "The Enforcer". Although the second game was just an exibition, this illigal substitution was so ridiculous that we will not even mention the score of the second game.
Stay tuned for more results when Team APS continues its dominance over the bowling world.
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