Simpsons' Lyrics

When I was 17
I drank a very good beer
I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was 17

Call Mr. Plow
Yeah That's my name
That name again is Mr. Plow

There's a hole in my heart
As deep as a well
For that poor little boy
Whose stuck halfway to hel*
Though we can't get him out
We'll do the next best thing
Just go on TV and sing, sing, sing
And we're sending our love down the well
All the way down
We're sending our love down the well
Down that well
This is where the song ends in the episode

Some folk'll never eat a skunk
But then again some folk'll
Like Cleatus, the slack-jawed yokel
Some folk'll never lose a toe
But then again some folk'll
Like Cleatus, the slack-jawed yokel

Who controls the Brittish crown?
Who keep the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg, a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who riggs every Oscar® night?
We do! We doooo!

Sprindfield, Springfield
Its a hel* of a town
The schoolyard's up
And the shopping mall's down
The stray dogs go to the Animal Pound
Springfield, Springfield
Springfield, Springfield
New York, New York
New York is thata way pal
Its a hel* of a town

You can close down Moe's
Or the Kwick-E-Mart
And nobody would care
But the heart and soul, of Spingfield in
Our Maison Derriére
We're the sauce on you steak
We're the cheese on your cake
We put the 'Spring' in Springfield
We're the lace on the nightgown
The point after touchdown
Yes We keep the 'Spring' in Springfield
We're that little extra spice
That makes existence extra nice
A giddy little thrill
At a reasonable price
Our only major quarrells
With your total lack of morals
Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad
They seem to entertain your dad
We're the gin in your martini
The clams in your linguini
We put the (antenna spring noise) in Springfield
We remember our first visit
There're sevice was exquisite
Why Joseph, I had no idea
Come on now, you were working here
Without it, we would have no fun
Since March of 1961
To shut them down, that would be twisted
We just heard this place existed
We're the highlights in your hairdo
The extra arms on Visnew
So don't take the (burp)
We won't take the (slide whistle)
So let's keep the (trash can lids as cymbols) in Spingfield-

Some men hunt for sport
Others hunt for food.
The only thing I'm hunting for
Is an outfit that looks good.
See, my, vest. See my vest
Made from real gorrilla chest
Feel this sweater, it's no better
Than authentic irish setter.
See my hat, twas my cat
My evening wear, vampire bat
See my slippers there albino, african endangered rhino
Grizzly bear underwear
Turtles necks, I've got my share
Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest
Try my robin suits
They come one breast or two
See my vest. See my vest. See my vests
Like, my, loafers
Former goffers
It was this or skin my chauffeurs
But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best
So lets prepare these dogs
Kill two for matching clogs
See my vest
See my vest
Oh, won't you please
See my vest
I really like the vest.

If you wish to be our sitter
Please be sweet and never bitter
Help us with math and book reports
Might I add, eat my shorts
If Maggie's fussy don't avoid her
Let me get away with "mui-der"
Teach us songs and magic tricks
Might I add, no fat chicks
The nanny we want is kindly and sage
And one who will work for minimum wage
Hurry nanny things are grim
I'll do it
Anyone but him.

If theres a task that must be done
Don't turn turn your tail and run
Don't pout, don't sob, just do a half asked job
If you cut every corner it isn't so bad
Everybody does it, even mom and dad
If nobody sees it, then nobody gets mad
It's the American way
The policeman on the beat, needs time to rest his feet
Fighting crime is not my cup of tea
And the clerk who runs the store
Can charge a little more
For meat, (for meat), and milk (and milk)
From 1984
If you cut every corner you'll have more time for play
It's the Americain way

In front of a tavern, flat on his face
A boozehound named Barney is pleeding his case.
Buy me a beer
Two bucks a glass
Come on, help me, I'm freezing my a$$
Buy me brandy
A snifter of wine
Who am I kidding, I'll drink turpintine
Move it ya drunk
Or I'll blast yer rear end
I found 2 bucks
Then come in my friend
And so let us leave
On this heart warming scene
Can I be a boozehound?
Not 'till your fifteen

Around the house, I never lift a finger
As a husband and father arms apart
I'd rather drink a beer
Than win father-of-the-year
I'm happy with things the way they are!
I'm getting used, to never being noticed
I'm stuck here 'till I can steal a car
The house is still a mess, and I'm going bald with stress
But we're happy with things the way they are
They're not perfect, but the Lord says love thy neighbor
Shut up Flanders
Okalie-dokalie-do
Don't think its sour grapes, but you're all a buch of apes
And so I must be leaving you

When I first arrived you were all suck jerks
But now I've learned to love yer quirks
Maggie with her eyes so bright
Marge has hair like Frank Lloyd Wright
Lisa can philosophise(sp)
Bart's adept at telling lies
Homer's a delightful fella
Sorry 'bout the samonella
HeHe That's ok
Who needs the Quick-E-Mart?
Now here's the tricky part
Now won't you rhyme with me?
Who needs the Quick-E-Mart?
Their floors are sticky mart
They made dad sicky mart
Let's hurl a bricky mart
The Quick-E-Mart is real...D'oh!
Who needs the Quick-E-Mart?
Not me
Forget the Quick-E-Mart
Goodbye to Quick-E-Mart
Who needs the Quick-E-Mart?
Not Me
(some time later)
Who needs the Quick-E-Mart?
I do!