Simpsons' Quotes

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Aww 20 bucks, I wanted a peanut!
--Homer

Bart- I don't want a new dog, I want Santa's Little Helper

Homer- Well crying isn't going to bring him back. Unless your tears smell like dogfood. So you can either sit there eating can after can of dogfood 'till your tears smell enough like dogfood so your dog will come back, or you can go out there and get your dog!

Bart- Your right!! [leaves]

Homer- Rats! Almost had him eating dogfood.

Lisa, you and your stories; Bart's a vamipre, beer kills brain cells, now lets go back to that...place...where our beds and TV...is.
--Homer

They'll kill ya five times before ya hit tha ground!
-Anges Skinner [refering to the Chinese mafia]

The year was Ninety "dickety" Four. We had to use the word "dickety" since the Kaiser stole the word twenty. I tried to get it back but quit after "dickety" three miles
--Abe Simpson

I have soy milk. Mom says the real kind could kill me!
--Young Milhouse

Me fail English!? That's unpossible!
--Ralph

They taste like, burning!
--Ralph

These fumes suck. Sure I'm light-headed, but where's the inflated sense of self-esteem?
--Barney

I can't wait to eat that monkey!
--Abe

Operator-State your stock.

Homer- "Animatronics" .

Operator- "Animatronics" , up 3 points.

Homer-Yahoo!

Operator- "Yahoo" up 6 points.

Homer-Huh, what's this crap?

Operator- "Fox Network" down 9 points

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