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February 13, 2002
Greetings and salutations fuckers. Yes it's me, Jerry Mace...the beast, bringing you the long anticipated second column. Oh yes its here. If you didn't read my first collumn, fuck you. Anyway, STD crew members, Mark, Elliot and I will be filming the Jawn's next concert at the Whitaker Center on Friday. It will be a segment of the up and coming documentary "Dwarfs and Little Boys". That probably wont be the name but gotta tell you sumthin right? Umm, as far as the dating department goes, the only single crew members are Brandon Marsh and John Scanlan (he's waitin for an asian). So that means the rest of us are mating like rabbits in a Afganistan cave. Recently, I made a purchase of an audio tape recorder so that I could archive events of the weekends like John Lauvs house and my freestyles. I'm happy with this purchase and soon audio clips will be available on the site. Big props to Wenning and Pappalardo for goin antuiqua on the Love gap. Antiqua : adj : blowed, blizzowed, hot, phat, and big. Wenning pulled a switch backside while Pops switch ollied that mutha. But you probably already knew that didn't you, you lowsey fuck. I know the reason for life and if you would like guidence please notify me. Also kudos to Kirchart and Berra for joinin Workshop. I would like to say that im appalled by the increase in midget death rate over the last ten years. Quit killing them. I love them and it hurts me on the inside. With that im gonna slow it down for a minute and put on some Barry Manalow with "fuck your navel". This is Jerry Mace keepin the hits steady AM and FM right here on the site ..... b.i.w.k.y.y.d.w.f.w.m. 103.8!


July 27,2001
Yo, this is Jerry "The Head" Lawler here writing my first STD column. I just wanted to write about a local skateshop named Fishbone. Our president DANNY LAUVER works there with his famous brother John lauver. John is also the crowd mover and exciter of a local band called THE JAWN. If you want their CD, email me. Anyway, if you ever happen to come into Harrisburg to skate the "awesome spots", stop by Fishbone Apparel for all your skating needs. If you need directions or the phone number contact me. We will be buying a Canon GL1 . If you don't know what that is, fuck you...but it happens to be the best camera out right now. If you beg to differ, fuck you. We will be going on a roadtrip to Philly soon so we will get some footy for our up coming video, "STD, USE PROTECTION". If u want a copy, notify me. If you don't want it, fuck you. It will most likely be the best skate video ever, easily topping MENIKMATI and PHOTOSYNTHESIS. If you don't think it will, fuck you. I will write again soon. Also, if you are a hot chick that wants to hook up with any of the crew while we are in Philly, let me know. If you're not hot and not a chick, fuck you...Au revoir.