A
Abacus: 1.)A device for counting past ten. 2.)The world's first computer.
Abacuss: 1.)An accountant with Tourrettes 2.)Circular reasoning using expletive logic (eg. shit/ no-shit cosmologies).
Abdictate: 1.) To decline to give oral favors.2.) To aver one’s freedom of expression through one’s right to remain silent.
Abdomain: land of washboard stomachs.
Abortion: 1.) A common product of natural selection. 2.) A mistake solved by an even bigger mistake in order to avoid further mistakes.
Abraxas: 1.) Self scouring soap.2.) Gnostic deity of time, usually depicted as having the arms and torso of a man, the head of a cock, and serpents for legs. Is all the rage at parties.
Absolute: A Platonic archetype outside the realm of Timespace.
Abundance: Like shaking your bootie but using only one cheek
Abundant: That which is taken for granted.
Academentia: the result of pursuing higher education to its logical conclusion.
Acidascetic: 1.) One who practices caustic self denial. 2.)Hallucinotherapist
Addenda: stuff you forgot the first time
Adopt: pretend
Agenda: 1.) A motive to fight or fabricate 2.) Half a gender 3.) A checklist for conspiracy.
Although: instead of everything
Amok koma: unarousable restlessness
Anger: an addictive pleasure without virtue
Anomalon: 1.) That which belongs nowhere 2.) Gno-Stuck Out Of Place Artifact (GOPA) 3.)A suface applied to cooking utensils which causes cancer, birth defects, impotency and hair loss but which prevents food from sticking. 4.)Nobody knows what it is or where it came from but it works so people don't fool with it.
Anorsexia: Sex starved.
Antidote: a cure for dotes
Antiquainted : Obsolete and unfamiliar.
Assert:1.) To emit an odorous wind 2.) To aver by dint of will alone and sometimes even with the facts.
ATMadness: 1.)currency at cost. 2.) Premium surcharge on all automated business transactions. 3.) The instant gratification of convenience for a price.
ATNemesis: Those who profit from ATMadness.
Avoidance: 1. The denial of Nirvana 2. The ego’s fear of losing itself.
Axiomatic: A rapid fire truth machine
B
Babble: the Gate of God
Baroque: To exhaust all alternatives to style through endless elaborations and flamboyant outlandishness and/or endless outlandishness and flamboyant elaborations.Or not.
Belief:1.) An opinion dangerous to disagree with 2.) An assertion made in spite of all evidence to the contrary or recourse to the facts.
Bible thumper: 1.)One for whom every instance has a related biblical passage which absolutely must be quoted in full at every opportunity. 2.) A percussive fundamentalist
Bliss: A timeless peace usually punctuated by reality.
Boggle: 1.) A mental mess.2.) To stretch one’s mind in an effort to comprehend. 3.) A conceptual corner.
Boo Duh: An assertion of ignorance through intolerance.
Boondoggle: what you cannot boggle.
Boredom: Domain of the dull witted or lazy
Bra: enticements supports
Brain: 1.) A system used to harness grace. 2.) To hit on the head. 3.) A quantum computer capable of collaborating with itself in parallel universes.
Bravado:1.) To act like a clown to get people to take you seriously. 2.)To seek the attention of others in a pointless attempt to prop up a worthless self esteem.
Breedist: One who propagates profusely according to the four Breedist facts of life: 1.) If you think, you have too much free time. 2.) If you have too much free time, you don’t have enough children 3.) Be fruitful and multiply 4.) Often. Usually includes the idea that sex without procreation (or for those expressed purposes) is a sin punishable by eternal damnation or worse.
Broodism: A religion based on apathetic nihilism as set forth in its four useless facts: 1.) Life sucks 2.) Then you die 3.) Everything is pointless 4.) So why bother?
Bureaucrazy: one who believes big government works.
Burl: Half a brawl
C
Caffeine: A drug which replaces grace with productivity.
Caffeinate: To stimulate and desensitize in a single serving.
Caffiend: 1.)A raging beast who lives for the dark roast. 2.) A student or employee whose blood was long ago replaced with piping hot Java.
Camoflagelate: 1.) To pass gas and blame others.
Capitalism: 1.) The exploitation of others for money.2.) The use of solely upper case letters. 3.) A system of commerce for vampires
Car: A vehicle for remaining still usually in traffic and usually while burning precious non-renewable natural resources.
Caress: 1.) A timeless touch 2.) An expression of fondness though fondling.
Catachismet: 1.) The fated fall of the orthodox. 2.) The stone that the builders refused shall become the center stone.
Catastocoffee: 1.) The tragic end of extreme caffeine addiction 2.) A lethal cup of java.
Catharsis: that which often follows a lethal cup of coffee
Cause: the origin of a process
Cha-ching: the sound of money in the bank
Child: one innocent enough to still be curious.
Circumlocution: 1.) To encircle a subject while never getting to the point.
Clusterfuck: what happens when everything goes wrong at once.
Coffee: 1.) Breakfast of movers and shakers. 2.) Poison of the proletariat
Commune: quarantined communism.
Communism: The idea that, if you get a group together you get a group discount, then if you get enough people together everything is free.
Computer: A machine so complicated it never does the same thing the same way twice
Congratulate: 1.) To remove a blessing with praise 2.) To express surprise at having underestimated the abilities of others.
Consciousness:1.) An awareness of thought, experience or sensation and/or a lack thereof. 2.) A state of mind measurable only by the absence of thought.
Conservationist: one who seeks to reduce the flow of entropy as much as possible, if not reverse it altogether.
Conspiracy: unsanctioned communication between isolated compartments
Contextinction: an environment inhospitable to content.
Contrail: 1.) The way to the smokehouse 2.) The road to the next bandwagon 3.) Payload dispersion vehicle for chemical warfare.
Convextion: 1.) The froth and fervor of fanatic fundamentalism. 2.) The projection of one’s madness onto others 3.) Veins popping self righteousness with a little spittle on the side. 4.) Mudslinging by proxy
Copascetic: 1.) Nothing is fine. 2.) One who is happy just to pluck the strings of a sterile canvas. 3.) Contentment through the denial of content
Copesthetic: 1.) A school of thought that says that all that is that is, that is cool is beautiful.
Corporate Welfare: 1.) The subsidizing of the rich at the expense of the poor. 2.) The windfall of successful lobbying.
Corpus Colostomy: A means of clearing a constipated brain through the surgical insertion of an artificial sphincter.
Counter: 1.) One who counts 2.) That which elevates a surface from up off the floor
Court: to stalk with permission.
Crackedelic: a nanosecond rush in hyper reality to the other side of the worm hole and back again, hopefully.
Crapulation: Excremental exclamation.
Culprit Finance: 1.) A system of rewards for ineptitude and gross incompetence. 2.) See Corporate Welfare.
Culture: 1.) An inevitable growth due to lack of proper refrigeration.2.) A collection of idioms accepted as axioms.
Cuss-ooze: the product of Tourrettes syndrome
Cynic: 1.) One who thinks the worst and is probably right. 2.) One who remains optimistic only about one’s pessimism.
D
Daba daba: what ‘it’ is
Dare: 1.) To encourage foolish behavior in others usually through an accusation of cowardice. 2.) To tempt others to take risks so that you don’t have to.
Default: what happens when nothing else happens
Delirium humor: private joke
Delumination: 1.) Endarkenment 2.) Twilightenment
Dementia: 1.) The act of being enthralled or distracted by demons. 2.) The place to go for comic relief. 3.) The realm of unbridled associative reflexes.
Demons: 1.) The implications of our thought-strings as they may affect the subconscious and/or traumatize the conscious. 2.) Metaphysical entities who gain power through our desires.
Descendent: 1.) One who grows up by going down. 2.) Evolving from an ancestor.
Desires: painful dreams
Diarhetoric: a fountain of endless babble and tired cliches
Dint: 1.)an impression made in wet cement 2.) a product of exertion which often moves little.
Disasterisk: 1.) A footnote to doom. 2.) A dangerous omission.
Discontinuum: 1.) A punctuated field. 2.) Cancellation due to lack of interest.
Disease: 1.) A form of unrest. 2.) An affliction perpetrated by, or in conjunction with, tension.3.) A problem not yet solved.
Distract: 1.) To lead the attention away from itself or from external objects or causes and onto other external objects or causes or sometimes to even lead the attention back to itself. 2.) A condescending expanse.
Dish: 1.) Plate. 2.) A piece of ass. 3.) A device for sending and receiving information through the air.
DMT: 1.)industrial noise for psychediletantes 2.)crackedelic
Dote: 1.) One who dotes 2.) Of or having the characteristic of being a dote 3.) The supreme self-reference to which all other self-references should refer.
Drugs: 1.) (Bad) illicit substances unsanctioned by pharmaceutical cartels 2.) (Good) legal substances sanctioned by pharmaceutical cartels
Duflipitous: deceitful sarcasm
Dysfunctionary: 1.) An ape with a monkey wrench 2.) The guy with the solution to all our problems
E
E-coli slaw: cabbage and mayonnaise cooked at room temperature for several days.
Echo-logic: 1.) The principle that it is the context which determines the absorption and reflection of sound waves. 2.) Sound does not travel in a vacuum unless flying first class.
Eclection: 1.) A non-sequential series. 2.) An assembly of unrelated parts. 3.) A macrocosm reducible to a mess. 4.) A democracy where everyone votes for themselves.
Eco-economics: a business strategy which holds that the environment is a priceless resource that cannot be replaced so get it while you can...
Ecstanguish: 1.) Torturous rapture and/or rapturous torture. 2.) To douse the flames of passion with an ice cold shower.
Ecstasis: 1.) The timeless experience of the supreme ultimate. 2.) A state of being in which the barrier between timespace and hyperspace has been dissolved, if only temporarily
Ecstasy: the cessation of duality through bliss.
Ecumaniacal: 1.) Universally overzealous. 2.) A religious fanatic out to rule the world 3.) A Hypochristian who will stop at nothing in the name of the lord.
Effect: 1.)The product of a process. 2.) A property of fect.
Effervesavant: 1.) Sweet bubbles from the subconscious. 2.) Crisp refreshing genius.
Ego: an identity, or collection of identities, formed through attachments to objects
Electrical Theologian: 1.) A spiritual thinker who attempts to integrate the understanding of science into a mystical view of the universe. 2.) A digital priest.
Emanopi: the secret sacred secretions of sleeping shamans
Emergeniuscy: the period of great danger between too little knowledge and too much knowledge.
Endarkenment: 1.) The closing of the mind, usually from peer pressure 2.) Twilightenment 3.) Delumination
Escatology: the study of where the steps go at the top of moving stairs.
Esclutcheon: A shield that won’t let go.
Etherium: a material substance occupying space which connects the planets to the Earth and which communicates light, heat, electricity, gravitation and mental emanations from one body to another and from one mind to another for free.
Excremental: proceeding in spurts.
Exegesis: 1.) Verbal spew. 2.) Poetic wax
Exhausticus: tailpipe Spartan.
Expirement: 1.) An investigation dangerous to one’s self or others. 2.) Down payment on a lease.
Eyebrows: nonverbal signal devices
F
Fanatic: 1.) A fan 2.) One who will stop at nothing to ruin everything.
Fanatimatic: Engine which automatically switches between volatile issues. Can be set pro or con.
Fecal pool: fowl’s final swim
Feminazi: one disposed to the disposing of men usually with ruthless abandon.
Fibonazi: A lying Kraut.
Fibonacciatti: Those who live by the golden mean.
Ficklefellaphobia: one who has difficulty peeing next to strangers
Fictionary: semantic antics and other gross bastardizations of language.
Flexicon: book of words with rubberized meanings
Fluidium: a diaphanous medium that communicates moon vibes to ocean tides and other actions-at-a-distance without invading your privacy.
Foetus: 1.) Post-embryonic organism 2.) Potential child
Fondue Mentalism: Cheesy literalism
Fractal synchronicity: see multiscalar propinquity.
Frame: 1.) The limits of a field 2.) The encapsulation of an idea 3.) To set up
Funking Eggroll: a greasy, deep fried nuisance.
Futilifree: free of the need to be free by virtue of the sheer impossibility of it
©Copyright 1999. Fresh Ink. All rights reserved
Fuzzy Cyst: 1.) A fanatical worshiper of Newton, Maxwell, or Einstein.2.) Curious self replicating growths determined to reduce everything to mechanics.
©Copyright 01998. Fresh Ink. All rights reserved