March 2003
I'm Cured!
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- Its the end of March. And its snowing. What the fuck?
- Hey man, I heard, and I'm sorry for you. That sucks a lot.
- Yeah, thats what happened. Breakdown, collapse, crumbling. That was me, fourth round today. I really didn't think that it was possible to make oneself physically ill from debate, but I guess it is. First let me just apologize to Tim, Pat, and Phil. I'm sure that was the worst round you(respectively) judged and were in at this tournament. And I feel as though thats my fault, so I'm sorry. Pat, also I'm sorry that I wasn't there for your PMR, I thought it best not to reenter in the middle, but rather wait for the end. In any case, to give a little bit of explanation, or try, I was just really off. Not a whole lot of sleep, 3am pizza & booze in my stomach, early morning donut, elections disappointment, stress, and the pressure to do well all combined to just take over me. I gave a terrible speech. (Tim I won't blame you if you give me a 22.) I was just unable to process the MG, or my thoughts following. And it was bad. So bad. I can't remember the last time I gave a speech that bad. Perhaps Columbia Novice. In any case, I guess what happened was I just became physically ill at the stress and disappointment of that. I had started crying as soon as I sat down, and then couldn't breathe, and then just felt sick. So I'm sorry for leaving in the middle of the round. I'm really sorry. And I guess thats all I have to say. But god I feel bad.
- I am honestly concerned for my future. Today I began to wonder if I would ever be able to be truly successful in life. Sometimes debate is like a metaphor. Please note that I'm writing this before elections ever happen. This is not me whining about elections - I don't even know how they've turned out yet. Maybe I won't have to whine. Anyway, I was saying something, I don't really remember where I was going with that debate thing. I'm sitting outside of GA right now, and its cold. Maybe this isn't about debate at all. Maybe this is just me realizing I'm not doing everything I can to maximize my personal potential. I throw myself into things, sure, everything except for classes. I am a B student. Sure, I get As but I get a fair amount of Bs too. Enough to damage my GPA, and my chances of things. I know everyone says that its what you do and what you can convince people of that really matters, but I don't see that. I see that its what connections you have, where your 4.0 is from, or who your grandfather was. I don't know. Life just worries me. I don't even know what I want to do. Maybe if I knew that it'd be easier - I'd have some goal to focus on, and a list of what to do to get there. But I'm clueless. Maybe law school, maybe some kind of grad school, maybe some kind of limbo for awhile. Thats not good enough. I need a goal. I'm just not ready to make up this mind of mine...
- Interesting that you should fall victim to the same juvenile amusements as the 2 I see every week.
- Okay, maybe that was a little harsh. And maybe today I am a little less mad. But you have to understand exactly why that wasn't even close to funny. I care about you - a lot. I consider you to be my closest friend on this whole campus. And when you tell me the prospect of something worries you and then you say it happens, of course I'm going to be upset for you - really upset. Thats why it wasn't a funny joke. So I'm sorry if you think I overreacted (which I'm not even sure you do, since I haven't talked to you) but I think it was warranted. In any case, I'm caring less today.
- You're not a horrible person, that was just stupid, and dick. I wouldn't even care that much if it hadn't been for the fact that you genuinely seemed concerned about what DID happen two nights ago. I also wouldn't even care that much if I wasn't stressing about ten thousand other things right now - i.e. two papers due in less than a week, a huge debate tourney coming this weekend, elections coming this weekend, scheduling for next semester in less than 2 weeks, nats in a little more than 2 weeks, TBTN, Iraq, and about 500 other little things. So don't flatter yourself. You're not a horrible person, sometimes you're just a fucking idiot. Grow up.
- Saw "The Hours" today. Maybe Bragin's right, & I should give Mrs. Dalloway another chance. Or maybe Virginia in general. Food for thought. But now its time for some real food - to dinner I go.
- The man with the mole behind his knee walks by as my nose breathes...
- Well, 4th and 5th round were okay, but we could have done anything from lost both of them to won both of them. Who the fuck knows. Banquet time. Tasty lasagna awaits me.
- AKA APDA. Off to Providence today. Should be a good time. Small tournament, close by, fun people; I'm thoroughly looking forward to it.
- Who always has a friend beside him. No matter what else is happening.
- The dichotomy of trying really hard to improve my own personal world while the outside world deteriorates is straining. I made some good strides today, only to be rendered speechless around 10:15 PM when Bush spoke to the nation. I understand the notion of absurdity a little better today.
- 11th of February, 2002. Last time. I look to old means of dealing. Someone tell me not to. Please.
- ...is just stupid. And so I go. Away away. "Nah nah nah nah life goes on..."
- The girls on my hall are amazing. I really love them. I hope I still see them sometimes next year. Just hanging out with them for much of today was a good time, and a way to have a nice, somewhat relaxing day.
- China, decorates our table, funny how the cracks don't seem to show. Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup. I am writing, grafiti on your body, I am drawing the story of how hard we try. I remember the days when I was so eager to satisfy you. "You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you." Its funny how we feel so much but cannot say a word - yeah we are screaming inside, oh, but can't be heard. And it goes round in circles - one night is perfect the next is brutal. The tide rushes by where we stand, and the earth underneath turns to sand. "Give me one reason to stay here, and I'll turn right back around." "No, you go on ahead honey, you have a good time there. Everything is everything, what is meant to be will be." You say love is a hell you cannot bear, I say give me mine back and then go there for all I care. First my left foot then my right behind the other, pantyhose running in the cold. I crossed the last line, from where I can return, where every step I took in faith betrayed me. Maybe I should just put a bucket over my head, or a marshmallow in each ear. Fade into you, strange you never knew. I don't think of you no more, except for every day or two; I don't think of you no more, 'cept for in between the sun and moon. I wanna hold the hand inside you, I wanna take the breath that's true. When I said, when I said I'll take you, I meant as is.
- Going to Mt. Holyoke this weekend for debate. People keep asking me if I'm going to be campaigning. Stop doing that. If you people from home want to know what that means, I'm running for the national board of APDA, the people I debate with every weekend. If you're actually interested, you can see my candidate statement here. Anyhoo, I'm off. Be back sometime Saturday.
- Mother nature, I hate you. Its snowing again. And I stayed up too late last nite by going to the MOD, and overslept and didn't work out this morning. Boo. Also, I was walking back from the cafeteria today, and for some reason, I got annoyed at the footprints in front of me. Now you may be thinking, "thats craaazy talk." But let me tell you what kind of footprints they were. They were those awful jappy high heels that are in fashion right now - all I could see was a 1/2 inch in diameter dot, in place of any substantial heel, and that awful witch looking pointed toe of a front of a shoe. Blech. First of all, I hate that people would even wear those shoes, being that they are so ridiculously ugly. Second though, girls at Brandeis wear those shoes everyday - to class. High heels to class. Under jeans. But worst, worst of all, is that somehow they seem to think its a good idea to wear shoes like that in the SNOW. High heels, snow. High heels, snow. It doesn't seem that difficult to me. Anyhoo, enough ranting about dumb jappy girls.
- Dude, you could pretend to give a shit. {{Sigh}} Not like it really matters anyway. It's easier if neither of us gives a shit. So I'll just follow suit and not bother anymore. Cest la vie. Fuckin a, I'm doing grand these days anyway.
- Worked out early this AM again. Gotta buy a scale so I can see if all this effort is going to amount to something.
- I really like how this month came out. Intricate and cool background, but one that manages not to be too intrusive.
- I look awful. I really have to do something about this. Yesterday I forgot to mention before I hung out with the girls and Ro I went shopping for clothes for my internship for this summer. I just don't have enough "office wear," especially that I'd want to wear in the ridiculous heat that awaits me in DC. So I bought some stuff, but shopping for clothes was pretty depressing. I resolve I'm going to start fucking eating well again. I'm gonna stop having milkshakes with Bragin at midnight, I'm gonna stop eating millions of carbs a few hours before I go to bed, I'm going to stop snacking constantly, I'm going to stop eating chocolate (I don't even like it that much!), and I'm going to try to start working out again. Its 7:30 am right now and I'm waiting for my Dad. In a few we're going to go the JCC gym. {{Sigh.}} Here goes project healthy - we'll see how long it lasts. I just can't stand seeing myself like this.
- Since the band I'm using this month (anyone figure it out yet?) has 152 songs, I'm never going to use them all. So I decided to use two today. Anyway, I'm tired as fuck, but I told Ali I'd visit her working at Fridays, and I'm going over to Nikki's to pick her up and take her with me. So I gotta run.
- My sister teaches freshman english in an inner city high school, Orange NJ. I went to school with her today. It was really interesting, and fun, but kind of crazy. She has to deal with some crazy things. Her kids often come to class totally unprepared, if they come at all (which many don't). Many don't really seem to do any of the work she gives them. They are constantly trying to distract and entertain each other during class, and will look for any opportunity to get off topic - unfortunately my presence was a big catalyst for random tangents. The school itself is in decent condition, but from what my sister tells me they always run out of supplies, money, etc, and even the adminstration needs some serious organization and overhaul. In any case, she's doing the best job she can, and it was cool to see exactly how she deals with all that shit. Tonight she's having a party at her appartment that I'm gonna go to. In her I-used-to-be-a-bartender style, she's making apple martinis and cosmos. Should be a good time. Gonna go for now, she needs some help slicing limes.
- Goodness I hope not. I've had enough damn snow. We appear to be getting another 6 inches or so today in Jersey. I went to Lydia's last night in New City, intending to sleep over, and then around 2 am we see "5 am tomorrow it will start snowing and you can expect it to be over around 2." I'm like, screw this, I'm not getting trapped an hour from my house all day tomorrow. So I left. But we had fun, I hung out for like 6 or 7 hours. And I finally saw (most of) Dress to Kill, the Eddie Izzard DVD. He's a British, transvestite comedian, for those of you who don't know. And he's fucking hysterical. I highly recommend checking him out, if you have the means to do so. Anyways, I'm going to go help my mother shovel the driveway. Chapped cheeks here I come!
- I had awful dreams last night. First I dreamt Sara was a triplet and he was there with all three of her. {{Shudder.}}
- Ooh! Godfather series on TV tonight. I've never seen the 2nd and 3rd ones, and I've only seen the 1st one once. Sounds like a good time. I'm also cooking dinner tonight. Was out today shopping in Boonton, and I just had the desire to cook. So I'm making ravioli, in a nice pesto sauce, with fresh mushrooms, onions, and garlic (mmmtasty), and some italian bread on the side. Nice bottle of white wine to go with it, and my parents will want me home to cook every night!
- Mmm: Miss Marple, a cup of tea, a comfy couch, and a warm blanket. Might not be New Orleans, but it sounds like a good way to spend break to me.
- Sunday....blah....
- So usually when I write a new month's HTML I check the page 5 million times until I'm satisfied with how it looks. Unfortunately, being that I'm on a 56k modem at home, its not conducive to checking the page once, let alone 50 times in a 10 minute period. So I'm just gonna throw the March updates in here till I get back from break, on Sunday. So deal.
31 March 2003 - One More Time
30 March 2003 - Exploding Boy
- Wow. You guys are really cool, and I hope we can hang out more often in the future. But for now, I must stop using you as a distraction, and get back to this paper. Must discuss "New Camus!!"
- Its 6am and Cory and I have been up all night working on this paper. Blaaaaaah. I haven't pulled an all nighter this bad in a long while. Guess theres not much point to sleep now. Still got 2 pages to go.
29 March 2003 - Disintegration
- Hey! Sep as a fifth round judge not a terribly bad sign. I'm sure it doesn't actually matter, and we're not anywhere near, but one bad round isn't a reason to give up. Game on! Bounce back, Beth. You can do this. {{Shudder.}}
- Home. Tired. Maybe will write more later, but I haven't slept all day. And I'm tired as shit. So heres an entertaining little ditty for you. Then sleep. For many hours, because tomorrow is hell day.
- Items on my desk right now (this is the ditty...lol) : my journal, a flow, jean eddy's business card, a water bottle, my contacts, my ball chain, a bottle of liquid paper, 3 band aids, my mini buddha statue, 8 pens and a set of highlighters, a hanger, $3, my wallet, and a shot glass. Oh and a piece of paper reminding me of when my psych study appointment is........Alright enough. Now bed.
28 March 2003 - I Want To Be Old
- I miss you. Right now. I wonder if you'll read what I've just put on this page, and think of yourself. I wonder if it will make you think (as I am) that we could be lying together right now and discussing our collective saddness about aimless lives, and at least being happy to have someone to share it with. Oh but wait, you're already sharing that. With someone else. I miss you anyway.
- So we've had three decent rounds today, to give a little whats up with debate stuff. First round we hit princeton D, second round harvard C, and third round stanford B. We think we could hopefully be all the way up at this point. For non debate friends (because I realize how debate-biased-lingoed this journal becomes on the weekend,) being all the way up refers to hopefully winning all three of our rounds today. In any case, elections are fast approaching, and that should be interesting...
- K, the second update still applies, but just as a sidenote, GOD DAMN ALEX GOT HOTTER! No, NOT BLECKINSOPP, debate kids. A non apdaite person at Yale. Anyhow...elections, back to those. Yeah. Thats where I want to be right now. Sure...
- I lost. Thats all there is to it. There were 10 good candidates, and I wasn't one of the three. Its cool, theres always next year. As Factor says, he ran for member and lost and then was elected VP OPS the next year. So whatever. Its gonna be fine. Now I just want to get the fuck to sleep cause its nearly 5 am. Fucking a. Long fucking elections.
27 March 2003 - Three Imaginary Boys
- To a more distant you - hope things start on the path to better soon.
- Current Music: Four Non Blondes - "Whats Up," Billy Joel - "Its Still Rock & Roll to Me"
- too much free time again
- Okay, Angelfire is really scaring me today. Every time I save this march html file, it automatically deletes it. Now I have a backup saved, so it hasn't been a huge deal, its just scaring me from doing work on any of my other pages I'm developing. Anyhow. Whatever. I'm really really pumped for Yale this weekend. And I'm glad that I (sort of) talked to Bragin. I'm worried that there might still be a bit of tension this weekend, but who knows, maybe it'll improve our debating. Either way, I love tight link tourneys, I'm excited for elections, and I'm glad to once again be debating with Bragin.
- Here's some more random ass music: UB40, Billie Myers - "Kiss the Rain," No Doubt - "Running," Frank Sinatra - "I Won't Dance"
26 March 2003 - It's Not You
- Ladies and gentlemen, we have a hairbrush!! And I can check "Sculpture #3" off of my list of shit to accomplish this week. And out of it I know someone cool a bit better than I did before. Project meet more cool people at Brandeis needs to get on its feet and get going. I love my friends right now, and they are irreplaceable, I just need to shake things up a bit. Maybe meet some new people, maybe try something new. Whatever. Something. Cause change is good. Or at least thats what I'm going for. :-)
- Dude, volleyball tonight was so kickin! We did a whole shitload of drills, and I feel like I've come so far this year. Rachel & Colin are awesome, and have done a lot to teach me. I had such a good nite tho - several great serves, a couple good hits, and I'm ever so slowly getting to be a better setter. Ha. That rhymed. Aaaanyway. West Wing tonight was pretty good, though a little bit of a blah episode for having been gone for 3 weeks. In any case, good to see, and I got a lot of work done on my scarf while watching, and talking with Gloria & Michelle. So on the whole I guess I'm saying its been a pretty good day.
25 March 2003 - See The Children
- Current Music: Robert Matarazzo, "Too Little Too Late"
- Speaking of Jersey things, I thought of you this weekend Loughlin, at a random, random time - while ice luge-ing at a party friday nite. Ha. Just thought you'd like to know. Miss you...
24 March 2003 - A Few Hours After This
- For those of you counting, still working out 4 days a week, cutting calories, & avoiding late nite carbs. Total weight lost so far's up to 9 pounds. Over all it hasn't been too bad, but there've been some hard times. Thus I begin:
- Current Food I'm Craving: Ben & Jerry's One Sweet Whirled
- Current Music: the forest gump soundtrack, disc 1
- Holy crap. So in case I didn't explain this a month ago, which I probably did, my resume went through 2 connectors. First, my Dad gave it to his friend Gene, who knows Pelosi. But better than Pelosi, he knows Congressman George Miller (also from Cali.) So Gene gave it to Miller who agreed to pass it on to Pelosi. So I wrote thank you notes to both Gene and Congressman Miller after I found out I fot the internship. Today, via my dad, via Gene, I found out that the congressman told Gene he was very pleased to get my thank you note, and to tell me his number so I could call him when I get to DC, and WE CAN HAVE LUNCH!!! The congressman wants to have lunch with me!!!! What the hell?!?!?! I can't believe it. This is so cool. Its really important to me to do well this summer, and to gain a lot from it. I'd say if I could develop a contact in congress that'd be a pretty damn good start! The prospect does make me a little nervous though - I'd be afraid of holding my own in that conversation. But its an exciting thought. Whooooooa. K. Just had to vent that excitement.
23 March 2003 - Fascination Street
- Current Music: Jennifer Lopez - "Waiting for Tonight," Jamiroquai - "Just Dance," "Cosmic Girl," Paulina Rubio - "Don't Say Goodbye" ...... its been a poppy day. Maybe its reactionary to having radiohead on the player for 5 days. One can only stand so much depressing droning...
- Holy anvils, Batman! Note to self: return to Kohls and buy this v neck tank top in every color. Best shirt ever.
- Props to Sami for being much braver than I. Speaking of bravery, moms'll be here on Tuesday, and I can't fucking wait. I'm so looking forward to seeing her.
- I'm going to have to go with Sep on Michael Moore. Look at Andrew Sepielli under my blog links to see what I'm referring to.
- Busy day tomorrow. After a pretty good weekend the mental state is faring much better, though still a little rough around the edges. Better be careful, or I could get cut. Nite kids.
22 March 2003 - Other Voices
- I really like how this whole weekend has been a taste of what the circuit is going to be like next year. Its been really chill, everyone has been nice to each other, and its been just a whole lot of fun. I've gotten to hang out with people I really like but don't see so much of at other tournaments - Marcus, Specian, Yu-Ping, Angelo, Brookes, Will, Connie. Its just been really solid. And it makes me feel good about how fun debates going to be next year. Just a thought as I stand out on this balcony, wondering.
- Yay for Justin & I breaking.
- Well that was a really excellent round. Even though we lost, it was still awesome to have. We ran a case that I really like - Eric & Justins straight up Kant v Mill, kill 1 to save 500 or not normative philosophy case. Even though Justin and I were the 8th seed, even though we didn't even do that well at the tournament, what legitimizes that for me was the quality of outround. That we should make it into an outround at 20 team PC and perform as well as we would at any outround ever at any tournament. A clean, interesting, incredibly intellectual and talent filled debate. And I'm also really glad we got to defend the side we did, because honestly, its what I believe. You put a gun in my hand and say kill 1 person to save 500 or 5 million and you still could never convince me to take the action of taking a life. Anyways, it was fun, and we ended up 8th team, and me 9th speaker. So that was cool. Now its time to go home and relax before hell week begins. I have two 10 page papers due in a week. One, is an incredibly difficult philosophy paper on Sartre for my existentialism class on readings I haven't done yet. The other, is for my Japanese history class. But get this, the topic? "How severe a break is 1945." Kill me. Now. Thats not a paper, thats a dissertation. Anyhoo, I'm going to go watch tv, and be comfy in my Pjs, and just appreciate my life for a bit. Cause shits pretty okay.
21 March 2003 - Club America
- Hey, man, 1st round judge who flowed - and we didn't even have a real seed! I'm impressed.
- Well after soundly defeating, "Have a fourth branch of government" first round, I hoped second round to be equally easy. But AA is always a crapshoot as to how it will turn out.
- The third round pairing made me nervous - the Clark Fordham hybrid. As did the 1:42 MO speech. But maybe, somehow, we can be 2-1? I dunno. Guess we'll see tomorrow, but for now time to go party. I'm actually looking forward to a party absent the normal APDA clique-y-ness.
20 March 2003 - Happy the Man
- Also, a big fat yay to a day spent protesting in Boston. It really brought me a bit of better feeling to not sit idly by while my mind and stomach reel at the current events unfolding in this "great" nation of ours...
19 March 2003 - This Green City
18 March 2003 - Watching Me Fall
- God now I just feel like a bitch. I'm sorry. I kind of counted on you not looking, so I could rant my heart out somewhere you'd never have to see, since you said you didn't like looking. I'm sorry. I just woke up this morning, and couldn't shake the feeling that I didn't ever want to do anything, ever again. I haven't had that feeling in a long time, & I didn't quite know what to do. So I just said whatever came to my mind. I don't know. And now its been seen and the damage done so I guess I'll just leave it. But fuck, I'm sorry. And there's probably no reason to even write all this, cause if you read before you're probably never going to again. {{Sigh.}} The day had started to get better...I'm such a shithead.
- I'm really scared about the fact that half of campus today was under a bomb threat, and the administration didn't even attempt any means of communication with the students. I hope Crack is right, that it is just a radical anti-war student trying to make a point. But it still scares me. I can't believe Bush doesn't seem to care that his invasion of Iraq is a carte blanche invitation for terrorist attacks in the United States and elsewhere. I'm going to pray more than usual lately.
- ZIV 128 304! Yay. I'm so lucky to have housing. And to have the friends with whom I am housing. Its going to be a great year next year.
- Its okay Mike, I knew what you meant.
- I cannot believe I have a fucking spanish test tomorrow. I have literally done NO work for 3 days. I just haven't been able to make myself concentrate. But enough of that silliness. I really was doing so great with being efficient and everything, and I want to stay just as on top of things. I'm afraid this particular grade might suffer, but hopefully I'll feel more like working soon.
- Current Music: Radiohead - "Nice Dream," "Street Spirit (Fade Out)," "Fake Plastic Trees," "High & Dry," "The Tourist" ---- having a rather radiohead day.
- Time for bed. Lots and lots to do tomorrow, and no time to screw around. Busy days are good, I'm sure it'll be easier tomorrow. One day at a time. I can do this. I know I can. I haven't spent the past 9 months learning how to be happy and satisfied with life for nothing. Lets keep it going, eh?
17 March 2003 - To Wish Impossible Things
- Current Music: Still on yesterday's Flaming Lips, but also, DMB - "Say Goodbye"
- I think I am going to pull a Rob from "High Fidelity" and make a mix. A time period mix, for a time there was. You know how it goes - start with something good, kick it up a notch, take it back a bit. The science of mixes. It'll be a theraputic project... Thats almost laughable. Heck I'm smiling. Its been a weird day - happy and sad at the same time. But I love it for all its weirdness, cause its just life...
- Though theres one thing I still don't understand, and upsets me more than anything else, and thats her. I really don't understand how, even now, you can be with her when its not what you wanted. And if things changed like you say they have, then why is it that it can't be me? You say its because of what I want, but man you are FOOLING yourself hardcore if you think this chick isn't going to turn out the EXACT same way. And I hate you for how you feel about her. You can tell me I'm making too much out of it all you want, but I'll still always know you are telling me that to try to make me feel better. I'm not a fucking idiot. So have fun, but I hope it breaks your heart, both from what you do with her and from what you did to me.
16 March 2003 - There is No If
- Current Music: Flaming Lips - "One More Robot Sympathy 3000-21"
- Okay. I'm done thinking. I'm ready to talk. I have it in my mind, a perfect thought. Please don't forget me tomorrow. Please.
15 March 2003 - Scared As You
- Current Music: Tori A, Fiona A, Ani D, Nelly F, Lauryn H, Sarah H, Liz P, Sheryl C, Tracy C, & Mazzy Star
14 March 2003 - A Blues In Drag
- Tourneys goin alright. Other than an unlucky 1st round draw, Adam and I are having a good time.
- Thanks go out to a certain boston area friend this Friday night. Thanks for making me feel like I'm worth something. So few do these days...
13 March 2003 - Shiver and Shake
- Oh by the way, I redid my front page, cause I didn't like how it looked, and I needed to reorganize the various and sundry links. Theres a line of personal writings, a line of places, a line of links to other places, a line of lists, and a line of more links. Anyway, check it out.
- Yay! I love seeing new pages. Here's one you should check out. Friend from Harvard, Jason. Cool webpage.
- Looking forward to Holyoke this weekend. Fun crew going, should be lots of good times. Don't quite now how I'm going to keep up the good eating this weekend, considering we generally eat late friday night and its generally pizza (late night carbs...yuck). But I'll make the best of it. Anyhoo, hopefully I'll have a lot of fun, and thanks to Justin, probably won't have to drive. Yay for not driving in the snow.
- Current Music: Dream Theater - "Misunderstood," Coldplay - "We Never Change," Kylie Minogue - "Love at First Sight"
- Christ there's a lot of people running for member! Should be interesting...
- Stor, it's called Stockholm syndrome.
12 March 2003 - A Foolish Arrangement
- Sandhya wins. Its The Cure, and she correctly identified it first. Yay Sandhya. Love you. Now, time to sleep, more gym tomorrow. Day #5.
11 March 2003 - Kyoto Song
- Sometimes I just really don't understand the rest of humanity. From the New York Times: "Five Muslim men, including a leader of a prominent Islamist political party in Northern Iraq, were shot and killed today at a highway checkpoint here by Kurdish security officers. Immediately after the killings, Kurdish officials said the action of the officers had thwarted a terrorist squad that has been hunting for American Special Forces teams in the area. But by nightfall, as it became clear the dead were members of a registered political arty, the authorities issued statements of regret. It appeared the deam men had been mistaken for terrorists." Yeah. Oops. Like WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???? We are crazy, we are all crazy. What has the world come to? In the days where terrorism is the government's catch phrase, in the days of shoot-first ask-later, in the days of constant worry, suspicion, discrimination, paranoia, I really don't know what we've become. Certainly not something I feel I identify much with though, thats for damn sure.
- Man, I love Professor Lyman. I really wish I could ask him to be my advisor, but because he's a "guest professor" (only teaching this 1 course every spring) I don't think he's technically allowed to be my advisor. In any case, I'm so glad to at the very least have had this class with him.
10 March 2003 - Just Like Heaven
- Got my first Hulliung paper back. Guess I'm not going to ask him to be my advisor after all.
- I think this healthy mind/body kick really might work this time. I haven't had a really good one since freshman year of high school. But I got up early again this morning to go work out, and I cleaned up my room, and I went to the library (& all my classes.) I ate most of my carbs at lunch instead of at night, and I've only got 900 calories at all today. And I feel good. I've had so much energy all day and I think it's from exercising this morning. Get the adrenaline going early in the day and it'll do wonders.
9 March 2003 - Piggy In the Mirror
8 March 2003 - Off to Sleep/Splintered in Her Head
- Alex!! So good to see you, its been awhile. Fun at the Apple, and hours of video games. I really must obtain a cube so that I can play Bond, XMen, Tricky, Tetris, and SmashBros all day long. (Wait a sec...)
7 March 2003 - Heroin Face
6 March 2003 - Snow In Summer
5 March 2003 - Chain Of Flowers
- Off to the Philly flower show today. Should be a good time.
4 March 2003 - Coming Up
3 March 2003 - All Cats Are Grey
2 March 2003 - Babble
- That was a cute message Justin. Hope you're having fun down there.
1 March 2003 - Grinding Halt
- So Nik and I were three up for sure we think because we hit Beth and Adam this round. Two weekends in a row they're probably going to be my only loss. We ran assasins because the resolution was this house would burn its bridges, and Nikki thinks Ed hated the case (he was judging.) He made me so angry, because I could totally see him writing the RFD on the ballot a minute into my PMR. I just felt like what the fuck is the point of me giving a PMR if he's going to already have his mind made up? Arg, whatever. And we got a difficult (for me, because I can never seem to beat these guys) draw for 5th round - Cornell A. Its Berkowitz and Glunt at this tourney. We'll see how it goes.
- Another weekend no breaks for Brandeis. Sigh. At least today I get to drive home instead of all the way back to Brandeis.
- Chicago = good movie. Then, fun times with Ro at the Diner. Good to be home.
